Chapter Text
He lays in the bed, miserable. Cold, staring at the ceiling in the dark, the light coming from the window and filtering through the curtains annoying him. It's too early to be alive. He's gotten no sleep, just laying in bed for hours in a guest bedroom in a home that isn't his own.
His hands are folded over his stomach, rising with every unsteady breath he takes, his ribs hurt for a reason he doesn't know. His head is aching, and he has no clue what time it is. He couldn't care less.
The uncomfortable silence is interrupted by a knock on the door. He groans, knowing who it is. He doesn't want to be up, he doesn't want to have a conversation or get up or be social or anything along those lines.
"You up, Luke?" Asks Sam through the door. "It's almost one in the afternoon."
Luke rubs both his hands over his face, a bruise over his left eye for some reason. As always, he doesn't care. "Yeah." He replies after a bit, loud enough for Sam to hear. "I'm up."
He can tell that Sam is trying to think of what to say. He hates how careful he and AJ have been around him. At least Tom doesn't know, he doesn't quite know why Sam and AJ choose not to tell him, but it's better for Luke. "We're going out with AJ and Tom in a bit, remember." Luke groans into his hands again. He hates going out.
"I remember. I'll be ready in a bit." He hears Sam walk away and finally takes his hands off his face.
A few months ago, Luke had been drinking a bit too much and accidentally said personal stuff he had been keeping to himself to AJ and Sam. They stopped letting him out of their sight for a bit, not wanting him to do something stupid.
After a few minutes, that felt like hours to him, he sat up, dreading the day of going out that awaits him. He decides he should at least shower right now, then he can just continue to hide in the room for a bit before he has to put on the happy facade.
Meanwhile, in a dark bedroom of his own sitting alone on the floor and overthinking, Tom stresses over having to go out as well. For him, Sam and AJ had been worried about him for a while as well. A long while. Until he convinced them he was better. He's not. But that's why they won't tell Tom about Luke, afraid it might make him go back to doing things he was doing.
Neither Tom nor Luke know what is or has been going on with the other.
Tom's had trouble sleeping all night. He had convinced himself to get out of bed, but now he's just sitting on the floor, back against his bed, head leaning back as he over thinks.
He's struggling again.
His mind is a mess. It constantly feels like his life is spinning around him. He's shaking, his legs sprawled out and his arms hugging himself, not really freezing, just stressed. His head is pounding from the lack of sleep.
Tom knows he should be productive, maybe clean, maybe eat, maybe shower. But he can't bring himself too. He's tempted to cancel plans to meet with the others tonight, but he knows he shouldn't.
Instead, he just sits there, alone on the floor in the dark.
After a while, he finally forces himself off the floor and into the shower. A while meaning a few hours that slipped past quicker than he realized, his whirling mind distracting him completely. He only has a little before he has to get going. He cleans up and gets dressed.
By the time he arrives at the pub, Luke, Sam, and AJ are all there waiting for him.
"Took you long enough." AJ says as they see him.
"Got a bit distracted." He replies. The four of them head inside, finding a table and sitting down. Sam and AJ sit on either side of Luke, not really intentional, and Tom sits across from him.
They order drinks and get to talking. Tom joins in conversation, pretending that he's fine. He's grown quite good at that. Luke's kind of quiet, something Tom notices.
"What's that from?" Asks Tom, gesturing vaguely to the small, hardly visible bruise on Luke's eye.
Luke's hand goes up to feel it, remembering that it's there but not remembering how he got it. "I'm not sure, to be honest."
"He was being a drunk idiot last night and got into a small fight." Sam cuts in, his voice almost scolding to Luke. He hates how Sam and AJ have talked to him. Luke turns his head down, gaze on the table. He feels like a child under constant watch. He hates this.
Tom notices how Luke kind of shrinks in on himself. "Since when did you get into fights?" He gives a real looking smile, trying to lighten the suddenly serious mood. It doesn't work.
It's quiet for a moment before AJ begins to talk about something, distracting Sam with conversation. Luke's lost in the world of his mind, not focusing on any of the words from them. Tom sees his out of focus eyes and nudges his foot with his own under the table. Luke looks up at him, a reassuring smile greeting him as he looks across at Tom.
They each have not a clue what the other's going through, but just a smile from someone who doesn't know what's happening inside your life can be more comforting than one from someone who does know.
The night goes by slowly, neither Tom nor Luke drinking much or adding to conversation. Tom eventually makes an excuse to leave, something about cleaning up his place. He puts on his jacket and stands up.
"I'm gonna head out too." Luke says, standing up as well and pulling his sweater over his arms.
"You sure?" AJ says.
"I'll come with." Sam says. "We'll walk back together, Luke."
Luke looks down to the ground, knowing Sam's not gonna fall for any excuse to let him wander off on his own, even though he's perfectly fine. "It's fine, Sam. I'll walk him back to your place, you and AJ can stay for a bit longer." Tom says, not so much as a suggestion rather than what was going to happen.
Sam looks between the two standing, debating for a moment before agreeing. "Alright. Don't do anything stupid." He says to Luke.
Before any other words can be said, Tom walks around the table and grabs Luke's arm, leaving the pub together.
They walk side by side, the night chilly but not freezing. There's not too many people out, most shops getting closed up for the night. It's silence between the two for a while before Tom speaks up. "I like walking at night like this. It's calming. I wish I did it more."
The shorter man nods slightly. "Yeah." Another moment of quiet. "It's good to clear the thoughts."
"Exactly."
They walk for a bit longer, eventually reaching Sam's place. "Here you are." Says Tom." He can see the hesitance as Luke doesn't walk up to the door. "Uhm.. Do you wanna just walk for a bit longer? We could wander around for a little while if you want. I could use the company."
Luke nods again. "That sounds fine." He replies. And they continue to walk.
Their arms brush every now and then as they wander down different streets.
"I've been meaning to ask." Tom breaks the quiet once again. "Why've you been staying with Sam? Why haven't you gone back to Spain in a while?"
Luke takes a deep breath. "I don't know. He and AJ just want me to stay for a bit I guess. I don't know." Lie. Obvious lie. And Tom can tell. But he doesn't push, he knows from his own life that he shouldn't push someone to talk.
"Makes sense." Tom spots something up a couple shops, and a smile grows faintly on his lips. "I've gotta show you something." He says. Luke has no time to respond as Tom grabs his hand and walks quickly.
He gets dragged across the street and into a small shop that's still open this late. "What do you want, Tom?" Luke asks. "What's so important in here?"
"The food." He says simply. He walks to the counter, and a small lady stands there with a smile.
"What can I get for you, Love?" She asks. She's got light hair, a few strands holding onto the dark brown but most turned grey. Her glasses sit atop her head, another pair on the counter. She looks kind, her voice sweet.
"Hey, Alice. Could I get a lemon drizzle cake? Just a slice, please." He has a small smile on his lips. She says of course and begins to ring up his order. This is one of the places Tom goes when he wants to feel okay. It's not the food, it's just the safety that Alice gives him.
"That'll be five pounds, Tom. And who's your friend?" She gestures to Luke who stands stiffly, looking around the shop.
"Oh, this is my friend Luke. One of the ones I do those shows with." He realizes he's still holding Luke's hands and let's go quickly, hoping that didn't make Luke uncomfortable, and he grabs his wallet. He gives the lady the money and she gives him the slice of cake in a little to-go carton. The warmth flees Luke's hand quicker than expected, and he shoves his hands into his pockets.
"Well, he sure is cute. Bring him by more often. See you next time, Love! Stay safe!" Luke's kinda surprised by her comment but still remains quiet.
"You two." He replies. He and Luke exit the shop and Tom leads him to a little bench not too far from it. "I should've asked you if you wanted a slice of your own." He says as they sit down, a little bit of space between them. "I just usually don't want a whole slice so I thought we could share." He sets the carton between them and opens it.
"It's fine." Luke responds. "I'm not too hungry."
"You've got to try it." Tom insists. He grabs the fork and takes a small bite, a smile on his lips as he does so. "It's happiness in a cake." He says. He takes the fork and gets a small piece of cake on it, holding it up for Luke.
Luke is surprised by the gesture and kinda confused. He really isn't hungry, or at least that's what he tells himself. But the look in Tom's eyes makes him forget that. He isn't forcing him, just offering. And it makes it feel like it's okay. He brings his lips to the fork and takes a bite, he nods as Tom places the fork back next to the cake. "It is quite good." Says Luke.
"Told you." He leans back on the bench, looking up at the stars in the dark sky.
"How do you know her?" Asks Luke.
A sigh comes from Tom, clearing lost in thought already. "I go there every now and again, and I have for a while. She started to recognize me, so now we're kinda friends. She's a sweet lady."
"She seems sweet."
They sit in quite for a while, both dealing with their own thoughts, and both not feeling completely overwhelmed for once. Neither know what the others mind is struggling with, but just sitting in silent understanding makes things feel alright.
After a bit, a buzz is heard. Luke pulls his phone from his pocket and immediately sighs, seeing a text from Sam. He opens it and rolls his eyes.
Sam: where the fuck are you?
It hasn't been that long, at least it hasn't felt that long. Tom looks over at him with questioning eyes. "What's wrong?"
Luke shakes his head. "Sam's mad cause I'm not at his place right now." He rolls his eyes.
"Is something going on between you and Sam?" Asks Tom. He doesn't know why he asks but he does. "He's been really protective of you lately. I mean, so has AJ but not nearly as much."
A scoff comes from Luke and he sits up straight, looking away from Tom. "Nothing's going on, Tom." His voice is cold.
"I'm not trying to be rude." His voice is quiet. His eyes are glued to a small pebble laying on the sidewalk. "I'll walk you back to his place." he stands up and grabs the cake, closing the small carton. He waits for Luke to follow.
Luke stands up as well, beginning to follow Tom. They walk slowly, silence heavy in the air. They both feel like they overstepped.
It takes a bit but eventually they arrive at Sam's house. They stand at the door for a moment.
Tom feels like a teenage kid taking his crush back home after her curfew, too scared to knock and face her dad, waiting to have a sloppy kiss goodbye before he runs quickly, her father coming out the door, yelling at him to stay away from his daughter. And then she'd break his heart and get with the popular kid. Tom didn't have great luck with relationships when he was younger. Still doesn't to be honest.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Tom says, patting Luke's shoulder. He hands him the small container. "You can have the rest."
Luke shakes his head. "I'm okay, really."
"I won't finish it and I don't want it to go bad." He takes a breath. "Please?"
The look in his eyes makes Luke freeze. He brings a shaky hand to grab the small box. "Fine. See you tomorrow, Tom."
"See you tomorrow, Luke."
Tom turns away and shoves his hands into his pockets, beginning his walk back to his own place. Luke watches him walk for a moment, a weird feeling making his stomach twist, like he might throw up. But it doesn't feel like that, it's different. He turns to the door and opens it, entering to find a pissed off Sam awaiting his entry.
He wishes he could be back, walking in the dark with Tom instead of here.