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Lily Potter flinched when she heard the knock at the door.
She carefully raised her wand as she rose from a crouch, her infant son’s brow furrowing as his mother carefully set him down on the carpet. Lily made a hushing motion as she pressed her finger against her lips, hoping Harry wouldn’t cry, and then she cautiously approached the door.
Taking a deep breath, she wrenched it open-
Sirius Black was standing on the doorstep.
“Oh,” Lily said softly. “Come in, Padfoot.”
He brushed past her. Lily frowned; he usually greeted her with a cocky grin or terrible joke. But his storm-grey eyes were darker than she had ever seen them and his shoulders slumped as he entered the living room, as if he had been relieved of a great burden.
Remembering the war, Lily feared the worst.
She joined him quietly, her hip leaning against the doorframe as Sirius scooped Harry into his arms. Her son babbled at the sight of his godfather, silver chains wrapped up in his chubby fists. Sirius managed a faint smile.
“What’s wrong?” Lily asked. “If you want James, he isn’t here right now-”
Sirius shook his head. His voice was hoarse. “Can we talk in the kitchen instead?”
Lily nodded, though he was already striding past her. She followed, her mind calculating all the terrible possibilities as Sirius collapsed onto a leather stool. She sat opposite him, leaning forward. He gently set Harry down on the marble counter.
“Do you have a drink?” Sirius rubbed his eyes. “I don’t think I can do this sober.”
Lily hesitated, her emerald-green glance flickering towards Harry, but he was engrossed in tugging at Sirius’s wild locks. They had always been sleek and shiny, but now it looked as if he had hastily combed his hair with his fingers.
“Accio,” Lily murmured under her breath and a small bottle of tequila was summoned to the counter.
“Thanks.” Sirius uncorked it, pouring all of its contents down his throat. Then he slammed it down, coughing, as he wiped his lips with the back of his sleeve. “Marlene’s dead,” he told Lily, his voice flat.
Her lips parted, a small gasp escaping as she shook her head in horror. “No, she can’t be, I just saw her yesterday-”
“She is,” Sirius croaked, avoiding her gaze. Instead, he dangled a finger in front of Harry, who grabbed it eagerly. “I-I stopped by her house this evening.”
“I thought you lived together, in that flat you purchased with your Uncle Alphard’s money?”
“Yeah, but today was her parents’ wedding anniversary, so she was invited to a family dinner,” Sirius explained. There were deep shadows under his eyes, indicating a severe lack of sleep. “It was the first time she was going to see her brothers in nearly a year, after they were both promoted as Aurors.”
Lily attempted to recall Matthew and Marcus McKinnon in her mind. Matthew had been older than Marlene, with the same golden hair and haughty smile. Marcus had been a few years younger than his sister, with the same hazel eyes and reckless attitude.
“You know what was the last thing I ever said to her?” Sirius continued listlessly. “See you later. It wasn’t even a proper goodbye. I didn’t even tell her that I loved her.”
“She knew,” Lily assured him fervently. “I don’t doubt it.”
Marlene had loved Sirius long before even she was aware of it. Lily had watched her laugh at all of his jokes (even the terrible ones), smile when they had been paired for a Charms assignment (even though she had been rolling her eyes only a few hours earlier) and fall asleep by the fireplace when they were the only ones remaining in the Gryffindor common room so she could keep him company.
Mary Macdonald and Dorcas Meadowes had paid Lily five Galleons each when Marlene and Sirius had started going out in their seventh year and she had won their ongoing bet.
“That isn’t enough,” Sirius insisted. He laughed, devoid of all emotion. “Fate has a cruel sense of humour.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small velvet box.
Lily was almost frightened of opening it. She carefully did so, and her eyes brimmed with tears when she glimpsed the small golden ring studded with diamonds.
“I wanted what you and James have,” Sirius said quietly. “And I wanted it with Marly. I was going to propose, after she came home from her parents’ house. I had the entire event planned. I’d ordered her favourite food, decorated the flat, practiced my speech in front of the mirror. Hell, I even asked James for advice, hopeless romantic that he is.” He shook his hair out of his eyes.
“I went to pick her up on my motorbike, didn’t want her coming home early. But when I arrived…” Lily reached over and placed her slender hand over his own. “It was dark. The doors were unlocked, the lights were out. I called her name. No reply. So I entered and I…I found what was left of her and her family in the living room.”
She knew that she would have nightmares tonight.
“Tortured to death.” Rage crept into Sirius’s voice, like a blade beneath silk. “I almost didn’t recognise her. And you know what was written across the wall in blood? Toujours pur. Bella did this. She wanted me to know that this was her fault.”
Lily shuddered at the thought of his maniacal cousin, a devoted follower of Lord Voldemort.
“I should have known.” Sirius’s eyes were empty. “Marly was a part of the Order. Her father and brothers were Aurors. Her mother was a Muggle. It was only a matter of time before the Death Eaters visited the McKinnons.”
There was no adequate response. Lily pushed herself off the stool and padded around the corner. She gently wrapped her arms around her best friend.
Harry watched quizzically as his mother and godfather embraced. Sirius hiccupped and then Lily felt tears tracing pearly streams across her shoulder blades. She only patted his back soothingly, feeling tears well in her own eyes as she thought of Marlene’s fate.
He finally pulled away, his eyes rimmed red. “I didn’t know where else to go, Lily.”
“Of course, Padfoot. You are always welcome here. This is your home too.”
“I know,” he assured her.
Harry wailed, protesting that he had been neglected for too long. Sirius reached forward, cradling him once more, and he sighed contentedly as he laid his head against his godfather’s leather jacket. Within moments, his soft snores echoed throughout the kitchen.
“You are good with children,” Lily observed.
“Marly thought so too,” Sirius said dully. “I thought that one day…never mind.”
Lily’s heart ached for that unspoken future, as delicate as a spider’s web, but Bellatrix Lestrange had ripped it to shreds before it had been spun into being.
Clearing his throat, Sirius pulled out a picture from his pocket, flattening it with one hand as he placed it almost reverently on the counter. Marlene’s lips brushed his cheek and her arms were wrapped around his neck. A butterfly tattoo peeked from the collar of her white crop top. Sirius grinned at the camera as he hooked an arm around her waist. “Sweetheart,” his teenage self whispered repeatedly. In the background, Lily could glimpse the night sky and rising columns, indicating that they were at Hogwarts’ Astronomy Tower.
“This is all I have left of her.”
Her fingers squeezed Sirius’s shoulder, a quiet comfort.
And perhaps it was only her imagination, but she could have sworn that she glimpsed a petite woman reflected in the window, the purple and turquoise ends of her bluntly chopped hair barely brushing her oversized sweater. Marlene’s smile was sad as she lifted her hand in a final farewell.
When Lily blinked, she was gone.