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The prank was a long time coming, and boy, did Ilya Hollander-Rozanov deserve it.
It had all started a few months into Shane's first season with the Ottawa Centaurs, after Shane had settled into the team and had began to trust his new family.
Everyone could see in the first few training sessions how whipped Rozanov was for his husband, and how he was holding himself back showing affection.
The Centaurs knew their captain's love language was physical touch. Every high-five after a good score, a bear hug after a excellent game and once to poor Luca Haas, a big sloppy kiss to his cheek after an excellent performance. So seeing their captain restrain himself from his Husband of all people was odd.
But after Shane had finally settled in with the group, all hell broke loose.
It was like Rozanov got permission from the sun itself to show the most PDA as possible to his 'lover' infront of every poor person employed to work for the Ottowa team. He did a full 180° turn with his attitude.
Suddenly after months of nothing, not even a hand held, he was suddenly all up on Hollander like he was climbing a tree.
He'd walk in holding his hand, swinging them as they strolled, kept a firm hand on his waist whenever he was in arms reach, and if he wasn't, he'd grab him and pull him close. Arms wrapped around from behind, kisses on his cheeks, forehead, knuckles and on his mouth with WAY to much tongue for a workplace environment. He'd whisper words in Hollanders ear that would turn the man a deep shade of red, and leaving the man standing there while he walked off with a pep in his step.
The team (and everybody in the vicinity) could see how this was effecting Hollander, not so much in his game, but in his attitude. The man clearly didn't mind things like holding hands walking in or a small peck before practise, but what Rozanov was doing was a bit to far. Hollander knew he could just tell his husband how he felt, but that would send him back to square one, what it was like at the start of Shane's career with the Centaurs, and Shane didn't want that. He also didn't want to say it as he knew how hard it had been for Ilya to be kept a secret, living 2 hours away and being able to tell that world that he loved Shane Hollander!! So, Shane kept quiet.
Until..
"How about we pull a little prank on him?" Young had suggested it to the boys when they were out for a drink after a huge win against Toronto at home, a 5-0 shut out against them. Bood, Hazy and Hass turned to Young and the other rooks with a questionably look in their eyes. "Prank who?" Alternate Captain Zane Boodrom stared at the man, he knew he must have been talking about Hollzy or Rozy as they were the only two not at the bar, insisting they were tired and wanted an early night in at home. It definitely had nothing to do with Hollanders beauty of a goal tonight after tripping up one of Torontos homophopic defensemen, who was talking shit about Rozanov, not a chance.
"Rozy, I mean, we see how he acts with Hollander... -not that I'm h-homophobic or anything jus-","We know that you aren't homophobic rook, just continue" Bood had jumped in to assure Young that they understood him and that he would not be sacked.
"Well, Hollzy get frustrated at Cap when he keeps whispering whatever inappropriate Russian sentences into his ear, and the PDA jar clearly doesn't work aswell, he does make like, a billion dollars every year, so I've thought of something that might make him tone down the affection".
Last month, the Centaurs made a PDA jar and left it in the locker. Whenever Rozanov did anything a bit NSFW infront of the others, 100 bucks went straight from his wallet into the jar.
The idea was that Rozanov would lose enough money to make him stop, but instead, he used it as a way to show off his husband and his money.
"Why would I stop, is good for you, no? I get to touch мой муж, and show you fuckers how rich I am, as my dear манго does not like my sports cars and made me swap for stupid, boring Canadian car with zero horse power".
"Mango??" Was all Shane had said in response.
"If we can get Hollzy to agree, we can keep Roz away from him for like a whole day, sending him away because he's needed elsewhere and like show physical affection to Hollzy when he can't get in the way, just to give him a piece of his own medicine you know? We could bet on it, see when he would crack from being separated from his one true love"
And, if they were being honest, it was a great plan.
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The next week at training, while Rozanov was pulled aside for a quick meeting with Coach Wiebe, the rest off the team put there plan into action, pulling Hollander away from the rower he was sitting on and they popped the question.
"What?" Was all Hollander had said at first. "Wait let me get this right, you want me to not talk to my husband all day, let you guys be all affectionate with me, just so Ilya can.. be jealous?"
"No not jealous, more like.. frustrated!! Because, no offense to the both of you, but, we've had enough of the constant flirting from that man at every chance he gets" Hazy had said, and from only that Hollander was blushing like a Berry.
"Ok"
"wait actually?" Young had replied, with his jaw hanging open, alongside a lot of the other Centaurs, they has not expected Hollzy to agree to this so quickly.
"Yeah, I mean, I see where your guys are coming from and I do get a bit worked up when he's all over me and I've been trying to find a way to.. ask him to be less? But, not less? You know? But, its really tricky trying to find the words without being harsh, or him just stopping fully, I don't want that, but, you know, so I think it might work?" Hollander had blushed even further, he had been struggling to find a way to tell Ilya how he felt so this might just be the thing, and if it's goes sideways, he can always blame the others.
After that it was settled, in the next training session following their game against Tampa at home, they'd put the plan into action.
They had formally named the prank: Operation stop the Russian loving machine.
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