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When Hakyeon and Taekwoon started dating, the rising singer and music producer had immediately warned Hakyeon. “We can’t ever be seen being romantic in public,” were Taekwoon’s exact words.
The dancer had laughed. “Awww why? Are you ashamed of me? Of being with a man?” He had said it in jest, he trusted Taekwoon, but deep down he was terrified that his boyfriend would confirm it.
Taekwoon was handsome and steadily becoming a highly successful artist, so Hakyeon understood that Taekwoon’s overall image was as much a part of the market as his music was.
Still, the romantic in Hakyeon protested that their relationship had to be kept secret, for whatever reason, so it had been with some glee that he watched Taekwoon flush, bristling indignantly.
In the safety of Hakyeon’s living room, Taekwoon had easily taken his hand, pulled him close to wrap him in his arms, bodies pressed warmly against one another. “I just don’t want anyone harassing you,” Taekwoon had said, nuzzling sweetly into Hakyeon’s hair. He sounded almost like a pouty child, and perhaps he had done that on purpose, to mute the genuine worry in his voice.
Hakyeon had seen Taekwoon’s fellow artists and their friends bashed and scandalized for so much as being suspected of dating one person or another, celebrity or otherwise. And he hated it so much more because he understood completely where Taekwoon was coming from.
Still, he could have lived with that. He didn’t care about online comments or even threats. They were empty anyway. In the end, he would still be Taekwoon’s boyfriend, that’s what mattered to him.
But the few times Taekwoon was caught by paparazzi with female friends, even collaborating artists had not been pleasant. He had gotten so stressed and guilty, apologizing to the ladies repeatedly, and Hakyeon had been powerless to help.
Hakyeon would rather not have a repeat of that, much as he would like to declare, at the top of his lungs, to the entire world that he and Taekwoon were in love, so in love, so instead he did the next best thing. “I love you,” he whispered, hugging Taekwoon tight, breathing him in.
It balmed the sting, somewhat, that Taekwoon was all that much more generous of his affections after they went out on dates and Hakyeon had to keep a careful distance from him that could not be mistaken as anything more than friendly.
Sitting across Taekwoon when Hakyeon really wanted to be pressed against his side, leaning on his broad shoulder. Arms only brushing so teasingly when he ached to hold Taekwoon’s hand. Watching Taekwoon’s eyes crinkle from a smile and turning painfully away else Hakyeon leaned in to kiss him.
It was horrible, and all that much worse when, during one of their coffee dates, as Hakyeon was reaching over to feed Taekwoon a forkful of cake, a couple of girls approached their table, trying (and failing) to contain their squeals.
Hakyeon quickly retracted his hand and the bit of cake fell on the table as his heart fell to the floor.
“Excuse us,” one of the girls had fleetingly said to Hakyeon, not even waiting for his approval, before they all turned to Taekwoon, evidently swooning over him, and he could only graciously smile at them.
Hakyeon wanted to kick him, shoo the girls away, claim that “This is Taekwoon-and-Hakyeon time, not Taekwoon-and-fangirls time!” but of course, he couldn’t. He knew this would happen, but it didn’t hurt any less, so he swallowed back the lump in his throat and took out his phone, pretending to be busy when he really was just swiping left and right on his home screen.
There wasn’t much sense in doing that for very long, so Hakyeon just decided to open his browser and read. The girls were loud, voices grating in his ears. The only good that came out of it was that Taekwoon touched his leg to his, tapping at his foot with his toe, a bit of reassurance that he hadn’t forgotten about Hakyeon.
It relieved him some and he looked around for something to do, stumbling on an article in paper folding and grabbing a piece of napkin to occupy him. Perhaps he’d give it to Taekwoon later.
He realized the girls were actually pretty sweet, asking Taekwoon how he was feeling, if he had eaten, praising his album, that soon Hakyeon found himself quietly preening, his chest filling with so much pride for Taekwoon and his work.
He was almost done with his first origami when suddenly one of the girls asked, “Leo-oppa, do you have a girlfriend? Can it be me?” followed by a collective gasp and then giggles.
It was a joke, Hakyeon knew that. They were just trying to be playful, but the offense was real, and Hakyeon had automatically pointed a glare at them, lips a tight line, before he caught himself and bowed back down to his work. Thankfully, they were all so focused on Taekwoon that none of them saw, but Taekwoon did.
Hakyeon couldn’t continue anymore, his hands were shaking so much, from fury that she dared to ask or frustration that he couldn’t say “No, it can’t, because it’s me.” His eyes stung.
He was afraid Taekwoon would play along, agree like some idols sometimes do, but then Taekwoon said, “No, I’m already with someone.” Hakyeon could hear the smile in his voice as Taekwoon gently brushed Hakyeon’s knee with his thigh. “Right, Hakyeon? I’ve never been happier.”
Hakyeon didn’t lift his head, hair covering his face like a curtain, as his tears fell. His heart beat so fast he felt like it would burst out of his mouth and he would scream how much he loved Taekwoon, so he quickly continued working on his origami, nodding his head. “Yeah.” His voice sounded so stuffy, there was no way the girls could have missed it. “You two are so in love, it’s gross.”
One of the girls whined sadly, and Hakyeon would be lying if that didn’t make him feel victorious, coughing to cover his giggle. Another girl sniffled but then said, “I’m so happy for you, oppa.” The others made affirming noises in response, and Taekwoon thanked them before saying, “Excuse me, ladies, I have to take Hakyeon home now.”
A white handkerchief came into view with a “T” embroidered in the corner and Hakyeon gratefully took it, dabbing at his eyes before fake-blowing into it. “You really should take better care of yourself,” Taekwoon said, and Hakyeon knew it was as much a cover up as it was a reassurance. He stood from his seat and stepped to Hakyeon’s side, placing a light hand on his shoulder that could easily be mistaken for friendly support.
Hakyeon nodded, pocketing his phone and his napkin origami, a little paper heart, damp from a tear it had caught, and when Taekwoon took his hand to help him up, he slipped it into his palm. Taekwoon had smiled, looking sheepishly away, and herded him out of the cafe.
Later that night, Taekwoon’s fansite exploded with the news, Hakyeon’s phone beeping with notifications (of course he was a member). Some girls were upset, yes, even threatened to leave the group, but others were more understanding, and even wished Taekwoon luck and happiness. Even more wondered who the lucky "woman" was, much to Hakyeon's amusement.
Taekwoon himself couldn’t be bothered as he lied in bed, arms around Hakyeon, nose in his hair. Hakyeon, for once, didn’t mind being a secret lover.