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“Did we really have to go out when it’s so cold?” Stickman asked Bean, tightening the scarf around their neck.
Bean quietly huffed, “I think the cold is refreshing, the house is too hot,” he commented, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
Stickman saw how the other put his hands in his pockets and he sneered, “You are cold, you put your hands in your pockets,”
“Shut up.”
An hour ago, Bean had suggested the two go on a walk to try and get out of the house and Stickman was reluctant mostly due to the cold. Stickman wasn’t really fond of cold walks in the dark anymore, he used to admire the idea…and then that was when he and his previous team had gotten lost. But now, the pair approached a desolate playground. The playground was relatively small, a colorful playset with a connecting slide and off to the side was a set of swings.
Both Bean and Stickman’s minds seemed to connect at the idea of walking over there because their direction started to subconsciously lean to the playground.
Bean spoke up first, “Do you…wanna go on the swings?” he suggested, gesturing to the vacant swing set.
Stickman hummed quietly, thinking over his options like it wasn’t what he also had in mind, “Yeah, sure, c’mon,” he answered.
The two paced to the swings and carefully took a seat on the swings that were closest together. Stickman subtly swung on the swing almost immediately when they were comfortable enough and looked around their surroundings. Bean sat quietly with hands in his pockets as he watched Stickman.
“Do you…like doing this kind of stuff?” Bean asked, the hesitance was clear in his tone, “Like, y’know, how we go on these walks, and occasional errands.”
Stickman’s gaze turned back to Bean, his first action was to immediately reply with ‘yes’, but he knew he couldn’t just please Bean with a short answer to avoid confrontation….they talked about this, Stickman promised to be better. So, he did, “I do like them, but I guess it feels…domestic? I’ve never had something like this,” he admitted.
Bean nodded along, resting his side and head against the chain of the swing that kept it suspended in the air, “Understandable, this reminds me of when I was with Enderpearl…sorta, but we kinda were…ehh…friends? But we’re friends? So I guess I have experience?”
“True,” Stickman muttered, he couldn’t admit how Bean labelling them as only just a friend kinda stung however.
They stayed quiet for a while, neither of them making any new comments or conversation. Typically, they lived in comfortable silence, but this was laced with tension that neither would acknowledge. And eventually, Stickman stopped swinging on the swing.
“I’m getting cold,” Stickman remarked emptily.
“Alright, we can start walking back then,” Bean responded, standing up and waiting for Stickman to follow. It didn’t take long for the other to join Bean as they reentered the sidewalk from the way they came.
Their talking was lessened, both were scared to say something even though there was no real reason for fear. Exhaustion could play into the factor of silence, but it was deeper. Nothing that could be explicitly named.
Stopping at a lamp post by a crosswalk, Stickman sucked in a breath, he wasn’t all that sure on how they managed to make the night quieter than the actual night itself, “Hey, Bean?” he started.
Bean stopped beside Stickman, he looked up slightly to meet the other’s gaze, “Yes?”
Stickman sighed, “I think I’m sorry,” he muttered
Bean raised an eyebrow, “You think?”
“I don’t know, I feel like…I don’t know…I’m trying too hard,” They admitted.
That comment only got Bean more confused, “Stickman, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he responded.
Stickman grew tense, he looked away, “I’m…scared it looks like I’m trying to replace Enderpearl for you, they were obviously a great person to you and…and I want to help you and like…make you feel good…but I don’t want to force myself into your life like this,” he explained, tears pricking in the corner of his eyes. He tried not to be vulnerable, but if he acknowledged that he would back out.
“Replacing Enderpearl?” Bean repeated, he scoffed, it was a scoff of disbelievement and amusement, “You’re right about them being a great person, and I do miss them, but I have you right now. And you’re…not replacing anyone, you’re doing your best. Sorry if it seems like I made it seem like that.”
Stickman crossed his arms in an attempt to nonchalantly hug himself, “Thank you, I’m sorry for real though. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m doing something wrong,”
“It’s okay to do something wrong, though, I’ve surely done a lot of wrong things,” Bean remarked, trying not to wince at the implications, “but sometimes doing something wrong is good. You learn, you live, yeah.”
“You’re right, sorry though, I didn’t mean to make this into a sort of pep talk,” Stickman apologized, they were obsessed with trying to make sure Bean didn’t think any less of them.
Bean noticed how Stickman still tried to hide their face, it was a bit sad. Bean felt what Stickman was thinking, with how the other felt ashamed for being vulnerable. Bean cleared his throat, “Let’s sit down somewhere, to calm you down.”
Without waiting for an answer, Bean took Stickman’s forearm and pulled him to a nearby empty bench. He sat the other down next to him, “Tell me when you’re ready to leave,” Bean told Stickman.
Stickman nodded, slouching on the bench slightly to try and physically remove the stiffness in his body. It took a few moments, but Stickman finally calmed his mind and he sat up a little straighter, “I’m feeling better now,” they announced.
Bean nodded, but he didn’t move from his seat on the bench. He leaned slightly closer, “I’m flattered you think you’re replacing Enderpearl, they were very close to me,”
“Flattered?” Stickman echoed.
“Just for lack of a better term,” Bean confirmed.
Stickman sighed, “Enderpearl was lucky to be close to you, you’re a good guy, Bean,”
Bean smiled, he knew what Stickman was implying, they were jealous of Enderpearl. He nudged Stickman slightly, “Yeah, but Enderpearl never really did the stuff we do,”
Stickman glanced at Bean a bit more now, “Like what?”
Not taking it too fast, Bean carefully cupped the side of Stickman’s face, and catching the other off guard by kissing him on the lips.
Stickman almost yelped, but he was quick to warm up to the kiss and he closed his eyes. The kiss wasn’t messy, or perfect, it was a bit of a mix. Something filled with uncertainty yet tainted with a sort of beauty. Bean’s cracked lips were rough against Stickman’s, but it was welcome.
After a few moments, Bean pulled back (with a quiet whine from Stickman), “Like that,” he finally answered.
Stickman, unsure on how to respond, just chuckled. Like a scared chuckle as they were trying to reassure themself that what had happened did in fact happen. Without thinking that much, Stickman pulled Bean into a close hug, “You beat me to it,” they whispered.
Bean quietly laughed in response, he hugged the other back. He always thought he would never act first, maybe it was just the haze in the back of his head from slight exhaustion, or maybe he just didn’t want to wait around any longer. Either way, he was glad to be able to share a kiss with Stickman, even if he could feel the other slightly shaking from the cold.