Work Text:
Mom i'm tired.
Sometimes I just want to run into your arms, that just feel so warm and makes me feel so loved and lets me forget about everything.
Every time I want to just end it all or even just try the feeling of the cold metal against my skin I just thing about how dissapointed and sad you would be mom and I jut pull the blade away from my skin. The same skin you made in your womb, and took so much care of. i'm so sorry for all the trouble and worries i've caused you in my whole life.
It was never my intention to make you feel bad nor sad. the thing I do are not your fault, its just my stupid mind talking and me being compulsive.
Anytime you've told me that you've had a rough day at work it makes me crumble.
Why do I get the easy life and you get to suffer every day?. Why cant it be me?
I just want to end it all and stop this internal suffering I have inside, just crumble up and die, stop breathing, but I cant, I just dont do it for you mom.
it just hurts so much and not being able to tell anybody. Not even you mom
why cant I just be your small innocent kid anymore?. Why did I have to grow up?
sometimes I fantazise about not breathing anymore and just moving on to the spirit realm. Is it really that good?
Mom I miss you, even though your room is just across the hall.