Chapter Text
Tango checked his backpack for the tenth time this morning, locked up his apartment, and headed out to his first day at his new job.
Deep breaths. He looked up at the imposing office building, one of those fancy modern ones with walls of windows. It was going to be fine. They literally hired him, so they wanted him here. He made his way into the building, got buzzed in by the receptionist, and was immediately swept into onboarding by HR.
A couple of hours later, he was deposited by the overly happy onboarding specialist at his new desk. It was hard to see the blank and empty cubicle after the years he had spent at his previous job. His previous desk had accumulated a lived-in look that some would describe as cluttered, but it helped him work better when he had everything he needed within arm’s reach.
“Hey, Tango!” He looked up from where he was busy setting up his laptop and monitors to see Impulse, the senior data engineer he had interviewed with, “You get through the onboarding ok? Any questions you want to get out of the way first?”
“Hi Impulse,” Tango stood up quickly, shaking the other man’s hand, “So good to see you again! She showed me where the coffee machine is, so all urgent questions have been answered already.”
“Well, let me introduce you to the rest of the team. They should all be coming around here soon. We just finished up a meeting. I used you as an excuse to bail out early.” He whispered conspiratorially, laughing. It was easy for Tango to join in. He had an easy-going nature and an infectious laugh. He followed Impulse around to everyone’s desks, doing his best to remember everyone’s names and titles, but it was going to be a couple of days before he really remembered them all.
“And this is Skizz! He’s our product manager, and we’ll be partnering up with him on your first project.” Impulse clapped a hand on Skizz’s shoulder as he spun around in his chair.
“Ah, Tango! Impulse only had good things to say about you after your interview.”
Tango held his hand out as the other man stood, and kept standing, to a truly impressive height. Or, at least, impressive compared to Tango. His hand was engulfed in Skizz’s as they shook hands.
“I’m excited to be here! And, happy to be working with you. Do we want to sync on that project now, or are you in the middle of something?”
Skizz glanced down at his desk, incredibly messy, Tango noted, and shrugged.
“Ehhh, right now is fine. Let’s grab a meeting room and get moving!”
Tango grabbed his laptop and followed the other two men to the room, noting the easy camaraderie between them with a pang of… loneliness? Probably just loneliness; it was hard joining a new team and making connections again.
Don't think about the old team. He shook his head, pushing the thoughts away. He knew that he’d get to know his new team and joke along with them soon enough.
The day passed in a blur of more introductions, ERDs, business cases, and so much laptop setup, and Tango was exhausted by the end of it. He made it back to his empty apartment and settled in to watch some videos while eating his microwaved leftovers. After eating, he instinctively reached out to the empty couch next to him for the dog that wasn’t there. He heaved a big sigh, checked his phone (no notifications), turned off the TV, and decided to get ready for bed. He’d only been moved in for two weeks, so it still didn’t quite feel like home, especially without -
Don’t think about it. It’ll get better.
***
“Hey, Top! You got plans tonight?” Skizz’s nickname had come quickly after he joined the team, and after a few months of working with him, Tango realized that Skizz didn’t call anyone by their real name.
“Uh, not really? Just the usual.”
Skizz wheeled his chair across the team area to bump into Tango’s, “Ah, frozen pizza and lukewarm beer.”
“That's right, Friday night of champions!”
Impulse wheeled his chair over next to Skizz, “Wanna join us? We're trying this new Mexican place. Skizz is a sucker for a good margarita.”
“And bottomless chips and salsa, mmkay?”
Tango laughed at the face the other man made as he spoke.
“Yeah, that sounds good!”
Skizz and Impulse shared a smile, then rolled back to their desks to finish up their work for the day.
5 o'clock seemed to take forever to arrive. Tango was supposed to be creating an ERD for the new project he was working on, but his thoughts kept drifting to his dinner plans.
It's just tacos and drinks. Literally nothing more. You did this all the time before, with your old team.
He rubbed his hands over his face, determinedly not thinking of his old team. A warm hand closed over his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“You ready to go, buddy?”
Skizz's voice firmly brought him back to the present. He looked up at the tall man, saw Impulse behind him, throwing on his jacket.
“Yeah! Let me just get packed up.”
Tango quickly saved his work, closed his laptop, and shoved it into his backpack before joining the other two at the door.
“Just text me the address? I’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds good!” Impulse pulled out his phone and texted Tango the details as they walked downstairs. He knew that Impulse and Skizz were close; they carpooled to work every day, but he tried his damndest not to feel like a third wheel as they crossed the parking lot.
“We’ll see you soon, Tango!” Impulse called out as they parted ways.
Tango threw his bag into the passenger seat as he settled in behind the wheel, plugging his phone in for the navigation. Before long, he was pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant and meeting up with Skizz and Impulse again.
“Took you long enough!” Skizz threw his arm around Tango, the casual affection coming easily for the big man.
“I was literally right behind you!” Tango sputtered out in response.
Skizz laughed, pulling Impulse in with his other arm and marching them up to the door. They were welcomed by the hostess, seated quickly, and soon enough, the promised margaritas, chips, and salsa were flowing freely to the table.
“Hey, Top,” Tango looked up from his tacos at Skizz, “why’d you quit your old job? You know I looked you up after this guy,” He stuck his thumb over at Impulse, “wouldn’t shuttup about how great you did in the interview. Seems like things were going well for you at your old place.”
“Yeah, things were going well…” Tango trailed off, not wanting to think about his old team again. Not after the falling out that made him quit.
“Hey, man,” Impulse said lightly, “If you don’t wanna talk about it, we’re not going to pry. Right, Skizz?” He glared at Skizz as he spoke the last words, and Skizz put his hands up in surrender.
“Hey! I’m just curious!”
Impulse laughed, and Skizz, thankfully, didn’t press further. They sat in silence for a while, good food filling their mouths, before they were interrupted by Tango’s phone ringing. He quickly pulled it out, saw DO NOT ANSWER flash across the screen, and hung it up with a groan.
“Uh oh,” Impulse looked up from his burrito, “That doesn’t sound like good news.”
“No, it’s fine, it’s…” Tango paused. He didn’t want to get into it with his new coworkers, not when they were going out for the first time, “I’ll tell you another time. I don’t want to kill the vibe.”
Skizz lifted his drink, “That’s a promise then! We’re having dinner again!”
Skizz valiantly fought to bring the mood back to positive, telling Tango stories about his dog. Impulse was laughing along, cutting in with his own additions to the story, unintentionally reminding Tango that the other two had known each other a long time and had likely told and heard the same stories over and over.
By the end of the evening, Skizz was more than a little drunk and starting to lean over in the booth. Tango and Impulse were chatting, thankfully not about work. When Skizz’s head finally made contact with Impulse’s shoulder, the shorter man threw his arm around him and pulled him into a more comfortable position.
“You guys seem pretty close. How long have you known each other again?” Tango nodded to Skizz, who was just starting to snore.
“Well, we met at work about 5 years ago, we started in the same week, and then we’ve been dating for about 3 years now?”
Tango fought not to choke on his drink as his stomach did a weird little flip.
“Did you not notice?” Impulse laughed at the wide-eyed expression on Tango’s face, “We try to keep it professional at work, but everyone knows already. I thought you would have just picked up on it by now.”
Tango shook his head, still shocked. Suddenly, everything made sense: the carpooling, the shoulder bumps at lunch time, the looks they shared when something made them laugh.
“Sorry, I would have told you, but I assumed you had known.”
“My powers of observation are, uh, shall we say, not great.”
Impulse laughed again, “Well, cat’s out of the bag now! I’d better get this guy home before he really passes out.”
“Oh yeah, for sure, no worries,” Tango was filling the space, words tumbling out, and he knew it.
“We’ll do this again sometime, it’s been fun,” Impulse was shaking Skizz awake and pulling him out of the booth.
“Yeah, definitely! This was great. Good time, definitely,” More words tumbling out. His heart was pounding, probably just the drinks, and it suddenly felt very warm in the restaurant, probably just the drinks!, and he needed to get back out into fresh air.
He followed the other two out of the restaurant, waving as they walked back to their car, and drove back to his apartment. After a few more months of living there, it was feeling more like home. He still wasn’t used to coming home to an empty place, but at least it felt like his own. It was the first time since college that he’d been able to decorate his own place to his own tastes, and he found he really enjoyed it.
“Lights on,” He said as he opened the door. Since it was late, only the under-cabinet lights and the lamps turned on, but it was enough for him to get settled around the apartment. And enough for him to think. He sank into the couch, his usual spot, where the cushion was starting to get compressed from use, and thought about Skizz and Impulse. About Skizz and Impulse. About the way they looked at each other, like the other had hung the stars in the sky. Tango ran his hands over his face again, pressing into his eyes.
I’m just feeling lonely. What else would I be feeling? Not jealous, not of them together. Just jealous that they get to go home to someone.
As if on cue, his phone rang again. DO NOT ANSWER flashed across his screen.
Fuck it.
“Hey, Penny. What’s up?”
“Tangyyyyy! I’ve tried calling you so many times! It’s been months since I saw you!” The voice on the other end rang out, just like he remembered she sounded, and he felt his stomach drop somewhere in the vicinity of his knees.
“Have you been drinking, Penny?”
“Noooooooo! Okay, maybe a couple of drinks, but I’m not drunk or anything,” She was slurring her words slightly, elongating certain syllables the way she always did when she was drunk, “I just missed you tonight! Benji’s been missing you toooo! Haven’t you, boy?”
Tango heard barking on the other end. Penny must have held the phone out to her dog.
“Hey, it’s late,” Tango stood up, starting to get ready for bed. “I’m heading to bed. If you have anything to say, now’s the time.”
“When are you coming back to visit? Why’d you move so far away?”
You know why, Penny. Frustrated at Penny for calling him, at himself for answering, he kicked his bedpost, but tried to keep the pain out of his voice.
“I’ll let you know when I’m in town again. Goodnight, Penny.”
He hung up before she had a chance to reply and threw his phone onto his bed.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
He never should have answered the phone. Now he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her and his old team and everything that went on all those months ago. He was halfway to tears, lungs heaving but feeling like he couldn’t get air, pacing around his small bedroom, when his phone buzzed again. He glanced over and saw a text.
Hey, just wanted to check that you got home ok! Skizz is all tuckered out, but we had a good time tonight. Same time next week? :)
It was Impulse. For some reason, thinking of Impulse and Skizz, curled up in bed together, put all thoughts of Penny out of his head, and he was not going to examine that right now.
Made it home fine - I had a good time too. Can’t wait for next week!