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Practically the moment they all got back from the far shore after the severance, Tsukasa called Mitsuba into the broadcasting room for important news. When Mitsuba walked into the dark flickering room, Tsukasa, Sakura, and Natsuhiko sat in the shadows, and Mitsuba felt a lump of dread forming in his stomach. He tried to pretend he was a human boy getting called into the principal's office for breaking a rule, but this fantasy was shattered before it could fully form.
Tsukasa cleared his throat, “as you know, every wonder has a yorishiro.” He smiled so playfully, so wickedly while he spoke, that Mitsuba had to look away for his sanity. His eyes found Sakura, who was always his favorite of the trio. Sakura's face offered no comfort.
He tried to meet Natsuhiko’s eyes, and the bumbling boy for once in his life didn't smile. With no other choice, Mitsuba looked back at Tsukasa who was still smiling unnervingly.
“And as you know, Mitsuba, you are wonder number three, thanks to me! And after such a favor, I need you to do something for me.” He leaned on eerily close, still grinning. “I need you to find a yorishiro!”
Mitsuba was taken aback, so taken aback in fact that he burst into laughter. Really, what could Tsukasa possibly get out of him having a yorishiro? Perhaps if Tsukasa was a loving creator Mitsuba would assume he only wanted him to be happy, that he was concerned about him not loving anything enough to slap a seal on it. But that was a preposterous thought, Tsukasa was far too cruel for that.
When he recovered from his laughing fit he looked back at Tsukasa, whose expression had not changed a bit. “Really? That's it? What do you get out of me having a yorishiro?”
Tsukasa’s smile only widened. “Well what's the fun if I tell you! No I can't do that, but what I can tell you is this,” he leaned in once more, “don't get too attached to whatever you pick.”
Mitsuba felt a chill go down his spine. Tsukasa wasn't joking, that was for sure.
“What do you even want me to make into a yorishiro? And for that matter how do I even make one!”
Sakura chimed in, calm and calculated as ever. “Whenever you find something you care about more than anything, your soul will make it a yorishiro for you, you just have to let it.”
“Fat chance! I don't have anything!”
But Mitsuba knew he was lying.
In this vast world, there wasn't much that he cared for. He liked the mokke, he found Yashiro’s presence enjoyable, he considered Sakura and Natsuhiko friends, but none of that was deep enough for him to make into something as important and powerful as a yorishiro.
But there was one thing, and he would never admit it. Not out of embarrassment, or bashfulness, but because he knew the stakes. He knew Tsukasa wasn't lying when he told him not to get attached. And this one thing, one person, Mitsuba could not possibly bring himself to put in that position.
Minamoto-kun.
“Then you'd better go find something!” Tsukasa chirped. Mitsuba scoffed, hoping this would blow over, but knowing it wouldn't. As he left the room Tsukasa called after him, deadly serious, “oh and Mitsuba? If you don't, there'll be consequences.”
Mitsuba walked away from that room with many questions, but one certain fact; he had to stay as far away from Kou as possible.
His first attempt was later that night. He had nothing, and he was a monster, so why stick around at all? But selfishly he wanted one more night with Kou, one more goodbye, and one more favor. He knew Kou wouldn't like it, that the excorist would try to avoid drawing his weapon at the monster his old friend has become. But Mitsuba wanted- no he needed to be selfish one more time.
What he didn't expect was for Kou to cry. No, no, not only cry, to open up the body of a supernatural, tear its heart out, and hold it out for Mitsuba as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To wrestle Mitsuba when he refused to eat it, to try to reason that it was okay for him to be a monster, and only when he could no longer put up a fight burst into sobs. Sobs for him. Kou Minamoto was crying for him.
It was enough to make Mitsuba weak, and enough for him to scratch this idea off his list of ways to get away from Kou.
His next attempt was to make Kou hate him. If he could drive him away, no feelings would be hurt, no tears shed. It was a flawless plan.
Except Kou wouldn't hate him. Mitsuba tried everything, annoy him during class, ruin projects for him, insult him even more than usual, tell him to go away, yell at him, the list could go on. Nothing worked. No matter what Kou would keep showing up to have lunch with him, no matter what Kou would keep checking on him, keep trying to give him reasons to live. Yes he got annoyed, angry even, but he never stopped showing up.
Mitsuba hated and loved it at the same time.
There was something so sweet, so endearing about Kou never giving up on him. It made Mitsuba's heart feel light, and at the same time heavy with the knowledge of what would come if this continued.
He thought about just telling Kou what was at risk, what Tsukasa said. But after the display he put on at the aquarium, Mitsuba doubted that would stop him. Nothing seemed to stop that boy.
So Mitsuba made more foolish attempts. Mean jokes, pranks, being purely annoying. Nothing worked. Kou would simply flick his forehead, maybe pull him into a choke hold, and then hand him a juice box. This went on for days, then weeks, until Kou showed up in front of the school on a Saturday, yelling for Mitsuba like a maniac.
And now Mitsuba was spending the weekend with the boy he was supposed to be pushing away.
“Why aren't you with your siblings?” Mitsuba asked, cocking his head.
“They’re keeping each other company.”
“And you didn't decide to stay with them?” Mitsuba snickered.
“I didn't want to today.”
“Really Minamoto-kun, spending Saturday at school? With a supernatural? That's a new low.”
“Dude whatever,” He flicked Mitsuba's forehead, hard. “I figured we could take a walk?”
Mitsuba nearly said yes, he nearly teased Kou and followed him. He wanted to, god knows he wanted too. But if he did, if he stooped this low, if he spent Saturday with Kou for no reason other than enjoying each other's company, there'd be no going back. That was too close, too friendly.
(They already were too close.)
Perhaps in another world the two were classmates, and good friends. They'd share a group of friends, and Mitsuba would be free to flirt with Kou all he wants. Perhaps they'd even date like normal teenagers. But that's not the world Mitsuba has found himself in.
So instead of trying to make any fantasies real, he took a deep breath, and scoffed. “Seriously? Your day off school and you come to spend it with me at school? Sorry Minamoto-kun, but I don't date lame earring boys. I can't believe I have to tell you that again."
And to Mitsuba's horror, Kou didn't get it. Instead he looked annoyed, and grabbed Mitsuba's wrist, leading him to the school's sidewalk. “That's not it and you know it!”
And Mitsuba panicked. Before thinking it through he yanked his hand away, and shouted, “I said no!”
This time Kou looked appalled, and backed away, hurt on his face. Then anger. “What's up with you lately?”
Mitsuba feigned innocence, “I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Kou grabbed his wrist again, tightly. “No! You wanna do this? We're doing this! Ever since the aquarium it's like you never want to be around me! Why?!”
Mitsuba said nothing.
“Answer me!”
There was a choice to be made. Mitsuba could tell the truth, the embarrassing, awful, and horrible truth. This option would likely lead Kou to his doom, and Mitsuba wouldn't have that. His other option was to lie and tell Kou he hates him, in an attempt to get him away for good. But in complete honesty, that thought sounds awful. Terrible.
But Kou could become a yorishiro, and die if he didn't. So Mitsuba swallowed, choked back a sob, mustered up the meanest look he could, and snatched his wrist away again.
“Isn't it obvious?! I don't want to see you! Why can't you get that through your thick skull!” his voice betrayed him, cracking halfway through.
And Kou knew he didn't mean it, Kou knew him. “Nice one, try again.”
“Go away!”
“Not until you give me a real answer!”
“Absolutely not!”
Within a matter of seconds Mitsuba found himself tackled to the floor.
He struggled as he shrieked at Kou, who was unfortunately far stronger. “Get off me you freak!”
“I will when you talk to me!”
“Let me go!”
“I'll vaperiose you!”
“Good!”
“I have all day!”
When Mitsuba looked up, Kou held a pained expression. It was as if he could cry, and there was no more venom in his voice. “Why won't you let me help?”
And Mitsuba was nothing but weak when Kou looked at him like that. That pathetic, hopeless look, the same one he gave him at the aquarium.
“You want the damn truth!” Mitsuba was tear streaked, he looked absolutely awful. “Tsukasa wants me to find a yorishiro!”
There was a beat of silence. Kou cocked his head, “and?”
“You idiot! You're all that matters to me! You're the only… you're the only thing that could possibly become my yorishiro! And that can't happen! I won't let it! Tsukasa… Tsukasa’s going to destroy whatever I put that seal on, I know it! He basically told me! And you dumbass I don't want that for you!”
When Mitsuba looked back at Kou's face, really looked at it, Kou had stars in his eyes.
It was ridiculous enough to snap Mitsuba out of his breakdown. “Did you hear anything I just said!”
“I matter that much to you.”
It wasn't teasing, it wasn't disbelief, there wasn't a word for the emotion that sentence was said with. It held so many things, so much tension, so much relief. Mitsuba felt a lump in his throat; he'd doomed Kou.
Quickly, without thinking, he wrestled out of the other boy's grip, and scurried away as fast as he could.
“Hey-! Wait!” Kou tried to run after him, but Mitsuba had already gotten such a head start that it was impossible to catch up.
For the next week Kou showed up in front of a mirror everyday, yelling and knocking like a maniac. Mitsuba ignored him and stayed in his boundary. One wrong word, one wrong move, and it would all be over. So he stayed put.
The school festival was approaching, the one Kou had told Mitsuba he'd take him too. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to go, but he had no intention of making it happen.
The day of the festival Kou made several attempts to draw Mitsuba out of the mirror. He promised to forget about their conversation earlier (a clear lie), he promised to buy him cotton candy, to take him to any stand he wants. Mitsuba gave him no acknowledgement.
Then something felt wrong. The air was too still, as if it wasn't moving. Whatever was happening was bad. So for the first time in two weeks, Mitsuba emerged from his boundary, and he was met with hell.
The world around him was frozen. Giant supernaturals were frozen in time with terrified people. Mitsuba walked around aimlessly, hoping he'd eventually stumble upon answers.
He spotted Natsuhiko, whistling and dressed in a suit as if this were the happiest day of his life. Mitsuba ran towards him like a lifeline.
“What happened! What's going on! How did we fix it! Why didn't I freeze in time too? Where's Sakur-”
“You didn't freeze because you were in your boundary, and I hate to break it to you but that's not what I'm here to talk to you about.” He leaned in close, smiling unnervingly, “did you manage to get one? A yorishiro?”
Mitsuba feigned confusion, a desperate attempt to avoid whatever was waiting for him. He knew it wouldn't work. “Get… a yorishiro? What are you talking about?”
“Oh,” Natsuhiko's smile fell into an unreadable expression, “okay, I see now.”
He slit his own hand. Mitsuba's eyes widened.
“Then I guess that's it.”
Natsuhiko put his slit palm to Mitsuba's mouth, and Mitsuba was too confused to process what was going on, until he felt something rising in his throat. Thick, red blood poured from his mouth.
There was so much, so little time to conceptualize anything, and he fell to the ground in pain. Natsuhiko kept talking, Mitsuba couldn't register what he was saying, only the vague sound of his voice. He had wanted to die, but not like this. He wanted to die happy, by the side of someone who cared for him, not on the ground in despair at the hands of someone who betrayed him.
His eyes filled with tears, he was done for before he was ready. He would never see Sakura again, never pet a Mokke again, never tease Yashiro, or play cards with the hands in his boundary. And he would never see Kou's stupid determined face again.
He heard a cry of pain that wasn't his own.
Weakly, struggling, he craned his head up. And alone behold there stood Kou. His face was filled with rage, his stupid costume ditched, his weapon out with searing lightning, and he had punctured Natsuhiko's arm. Relief, horror, and wonder washed over Mitsuba.
Kou seemed to realize that if he killed another human(?) it would cause a lot of problems, but he didn't lower his weapon. He sneered at Natsuhiko, “leave. And if you try something like this again I will rip you to shreds.”
Natsuhiko smirked, but he put his hands up in surrender and walked off cheerily as ever, as though he were unscathed.
Kou breathed a sigh of relief, then he turned to Mitsuba and his eyes filled with panic. He dropped to his knees beside him, “oh my god.”
“How… are you… here?” Mitsuba choked out. He coughed, more blood came up.
“I don't know! The time freeze didn't affect me, excorist powers I guess, that doesn't matter!” He frantically dropped his weapon, and pulled Mitsuba into his lap. He fumbled for his hand, and grasped it tightly. His eyes narrowed and his voice filled with venom, “what happened? what did that fucker do!”
“I’m not… telling you that.” He tried to come off stern, but his shaking voice betrayed him.
“Damnit Mitsuba!” Kou's grip on him tightened, “tell me how to fix this!”
“You can’t... just...” he held back a sob, “ just stay with me.. while I go… please.”
Kou stared at him in disbelief. “No… no! That's stupid! I'm gonna stay with you now and I'm gonna stay with you for the rest of your existence because you're not leaving!”
“Yes, I am.” Mitsuba coughed again, getting blood on Kou's shirt.
“I won't lose you again!”
Mitsuba took a shaky breath, and mustered up all his strength to grasp Kou's hand back. “Listen, Minamoto-Kun. You're gonna be fine,” he tried to smile. “You're… you're gonna grow up, and become an amazing exorcist, and, and get married. And you're gonna…” he couldn't hold his smile anymore, his voice broke, and tears fell, “and you're gonna forget about me, okay? Promise me you'll live, that's all I want.”
Kou’s face held terror, disbelief, and sadness. Looking into his eyes Mitsuba wanted to die faster to escape that look. But slowly it melted into a face of anger.
“You think dying is gonna help me! You think laying down and giving up is going to help me! You think pushing me away is going to help me! Bullshit! You're seriously inept, do you know that? You're not being noble, you're being cruel! If you die right now, I'm going to turn around and go home to a life where I'll never be happy! I'll never be anyone's hero, I'll never be a good exorcist, I'll be desperately trying to prove myself and failing until the day I die!” He shouted, and slowly realized he was crying.
His tears dripped down onto Mitsuba's face, mixing with the other boy's own tears. Kou took a shaky breath, “you're all I want. I'm selfish, I'm possessive, and you're the only person I've ever felt like I can be messed up with. Let me be with you, stay with me, that's what I want, that's what will help me.”
When Sakura told Mitsuba that his soul would make his yorishiro for him, he just has to let it happen, Mitsuba had no idea what she met. But as he looked up at Kou now, he finally did. He felt a tugging deep in his chest, as if something wanted to come out, but was waiting for permission.
Mitsuba could only cry harder. He wanted to yell, to scream, but his throat was raw and scratchy. He spoke in as loud a voice as he could muster, “don't you think I want to stay! It hurts so bad to try to leave! But I can't have you die for me, I can't let that… no… no! If you save me you'll be a yorishiro, a supernatural, a dead boy. I want you to live!”
When Mitsuba realizes that he inadvertently revealed how he can be saved he bites his tongue, hoping Kou didn't pick up on it. One look at Kou's face, the shimmer of hope that passes through his eyes, tells him that he did.
Kou's face hardened again, “you don't know what's good for me!”
Mitsuba shook his head, “don't do this, don't convince me.”
Kou put his hand on Mitsuba's cheek. “You're not killing me, you're just helping me change forms.”
“Stop it, stop it!”
“Being your yorishiro, it would be a dream come true. All I ever wanted was to be successful, to matter, to be a hero.”
“This is a bad idea.”
“Please Mitsuba, let me be your yorishiro.”
The tugging in Mitsuba's chest grows, faster, stronger, unbearable, as if it could burst at any moment. He closes his eyes and prays that when he opens them he won't see what he thinks he's going to see.
The tugging stops. He feels lighter, the pain is seeping away, he feels almost normal aside from the shock. A fresh wave of terror washes over him at the realization of why.
His eyes flutter open, and alone behold there's a black seal on the side of Kou's neck.
Mitsuba could vomit, until his eyes meet Kou's face. He looks happy, truly happy. Relieved, proud, cocky, and in love all at the same time. It's the most joyful he's ever looked. He's tracing the seal with his finger, as if checking desperately to make sure this is real.
“Did… did I die?” Kou asked finally.
“No? No I don't think so?” Mitsuba sits up, moving off of Kou's lap. As he does he realizes just how much blood is around him. “I think you must be a supernatural now though?”
The look in Kou's eyes is so bright it's sickening. What person is that happy to be a part of the realm of the dead? But whatever reasoning he has, he looks real happy, and Mitsuba allows himself to think that maybe this is okay.
He looks at Mitsuba and his eyes suddenly fill with concern. “Are you okay? Did this fix you?”
“Yeah, yeah I'm fine.” Mitsuba is well aware of how dazed he sounds. He pauses before asking, “what now?”
Kou thinks for a moment, looking at the frozen world around them. “Now we figure out what's going on, and how to save everyone.” Mitsuba nods, and Kou takes his hand, he lets out a surprised noise. “And then you show me to our boundary.”
It sounds so domestic. It's horrible and wonderful at the same time that Mitsuba can't help but stare at Kou mystified.
When he regains his composure he snorts, “okay Minamoto-kun don't get cocky, the boundary is still under my command.”
Kou grins and stands up, offering Mitsuba a hand. Mitsuba takes it, and the two intertwine their fingers, grasping on tightly. They walk hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, making their way to the school as though they have all the time in the world.
Kou turns his head to Mitsuba, a small blush on his face, “by the way, you matter more than anything to me too.”
Mitsuba doesn't say anything, but he thinks maybe everything will be alright.