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You’re at the market with Belle when one of the housemaidens comes running.
“Mademoiselle Saviour! Saviour Mirabelle!”
At first, you’re sure you know what it means. They’re calling Belle’s name from across the street, out of breath, and they’re doing the thing adults do where they don’t even notice you’re here. Their eyes are wide, and if they’re running so fast like this to come find you, it’s gotta mean something happened.
“Housemaiden Jules?!” Belle jumps, dropping the groceries she’d insisted on helping to carry. “What’s going on, is Siffrin okay—?!”
“Your companions… sent me… to come get you,” the housemaiden says, doubled over and panting. “Mx. Siffrin…”
Your heart drops into your stomach.
Frin’s dead, isn’t he?
You knew it, you knew it, they’re crabbing dead!!! Or something else happened, like they lost their other eye or their legs or they’re gonna forget who you are or something— something awful, and—
But then the housemaiden opens their mouth and says, “He’s awake,” and you can breathe again.
Belle breathes, too. “Oh, thank Change…!” she says, her voice wobbly. “Are they okay?! Is he… A-Actually no, don’t tell me, I should see them in person! Come on Bonnie, let’s—”
“I’m not going,” you say.
She pauses, blinking like you spoke a different language. “What…?”
“I’m not going,” you repeat. You crouch down to pick up the shopping bag Belle dropped. There was a carton of eggs in there… You hope none of them broke. “I, um… I gotta get more food stuff. For dinner. So none of you crabbing starve. So I’m not going,” you explain, standing back up. “…You can go see them if you want, though. Dile gave me money.” You’re better at haggling than Belle is, anyway.
“But… Don’t you want to see Siffrin?”
“No.” You feel your face scrunch up. “He’s fine, isn’t he? That’s what the doctors said.”
“Y-Yes, but…”
“Then what’s the PROBLEM?!”
“…Nothing, Bonnie,” Belle says. “Um… I’ll go check on him, then? T-The House isn’t far, so if you need us for anything, or…”
“I’ll be fine! I’m not a baby.”
She presses her lips together. “…Okay,” she says, finally.
You watch her and the other housemaiden run off to the House.
…Okay, so Frin’s awake now. That’s good, you guess. They’re probably really sore, and they must be mad about their eye… and you bet they’re hungry, too. He’s been asleep since yesterday.
You were already planning on getting enough groceries to feed everyone, but now you know you’re on a time limit. You’re sure the housemaidens will give Frin some food now that they’re awake, but it won’t be as good as yours, so you have to get back to make dinner as soon as possible. You still have more ingredients to get! You’d better hurry.
You’re on a mission. Stop thinking about stupid Frin and start thinking about food.
(It’s the only thing you’re good at, anyway.)
You find a stall with a bunch of different types of veggies that all look fresh and shiny and delicious. There are some that you’ve never even seen before, but the handwriting on the labels is too scribbly to make out what they’re called. Who writes their food labels in cursive?! It’s like they hate you!!! But the lady running the shop looks nice, so you don’t want to call her a crab about it.
…Oh, wait. A shop with this many different veggies might have it! The stuff you’ve been trying to find for a couple days now! Yeah! That’s a good idea. You’ve never tried it, but maybe now’s the time?
You’re not sure exactly what it is you’re looking for. The recipe you saw didn’t have pictures, and you didn’t recognise the names of some of the ingredients. So you ask:
“Do you have any ma-lag-nas?”
“Hm…?” The lady looks at you, puzzled. “Oh, do you mean malanga? I’m afraid we don’t sell that here.”
“Why not?”
“Well, we’re just a little too far south to grow them locally,” she explains. “Verbonne isn’t a big enough village to get exotic vegetables like that imported… You’d have better luck further north, or in a bigger town, I’d imagine.”
Crab. “What about, um… gee-ro-mon?”
“‘Gee-ro-mon’…?”
“I only saw it written down,” you admit. You’re probably saying it wrong — you’ve never been very good at guessing how words are pronounced just from the way they’re spelled. “I think it’s some kinda pumpkin…? The recipe said you can use normal pumpkin instead, but I don’t wanna do that.” You want to get it right!
“Hmm, I’m not sure I’ve heard of it!” she says. “But if it’s for the same recipe as the malanga, maybe you’ll be able to find them in the same area?”
Well, that sucks.
“Is there anything else I can get for you?”
You nod. You get a bunch of veggies — onion, garlic, ginger, carrot, celery, all the freshest and tastiest-looking ones you can find. You don’t even need to use your super cool secret haggling technique in the end, because the lady gives you half price without even asking. So you’ve still got a bunch of money left over! You think Dile will be happy with that.
“Thank you very much,” you remember to say.
The lady smiles at you. “Good luck, little chef! I hope you’re able to find those other ingredients in your travels.”
You nod. You hope so, too.
But for now, that’ll have to wait.
You march off in the same direction Belle and the housemaiden went, your groceries in tow. The inn you’re staying at is connected to the House, but it has its own little kitchen that the housemaidens said you can use, and it’s getting close to dinnertime. No one’s using it right now, so you’ve got it all to yourself.
This kitchen is pretty small, which you don’t mind — it reminds you of your kitchen back home. The counters are kinda tall, though. You drag a little step stool over so you can reach it better. You grab the biggest pot you can find in the kitchen’s cupboards, place it on the stove, and get your ingredients ready.
Soup time.
Nille always told you soup has healing powers. It might just be that she’s a bad cook, and soup is easy, so when you were too sick to help out it was the only thing she could make that didn’t taste like crab… but it did always make you feel better. Plus, you can put lots of veggies and ginger and healthy things in soup, so that’s gotta help.
No one needs to know that, though. If they think you’re doing this for Frin, they’ll probably call you cute, and then you’d have to punch them. You don’t need that kinda crab right now!!! So as far as anyone else is concerned, the fact you’re making soup tonight has nothing to do with anything.
Besides, soup is good! No one would ever complain about soup. So whatever.
You start with chopping up the veggies.
When you first joined the group, the others almost didn’t let you cook anything, because they didn’t want you handling knives. It was so crabbing annoying. Back home, you already weren’t allowed to use the stove because of that one time you blew up the kitchen, and now here they wouldn’t even let you dice vegetables? Even Nille lets you use a knife! You’re not a crabbing baby, you know how to be careful!!!
It was Frin who convinced them. He listened when you explained how you’ve been using a kitchen knife for years, and let you show them the way you learned to use it so that you never cut your fingers. You rattled off the knife safety stuff you learned ages ago — always keep your knives sharp, never have it pointing at you or anyone else, all that kinda stuff — and they’d nodded, said that yeah, you seem like you know what you’re doing.
So he talked to the others about it, and they agreed that you could use the knives and the stove as long as you had ‘adult supervision’. That only lasted for like a day. It didn’t take long for them to realise you were fine once you actually started cooking for them. But Frin was the one who believed you first, and you never forgot that.
You always thought Frin was cool like that. You like the others plenty, but they always treat you more like a kid — like you’re stupid and fragile, like you’re a toddler instead of an entire preteen. Frin never did that. He took you seriously.
Until…
(You think about Sadnesses and eyes and blood.)
…No!!! You don’t want to think about that!!! Think about, about—
Oh, you didn’t chop the onion small enough. Yeah. Gotta fix that.
Anyway, it turns out you were wrong. Of course Frin never actually trusted you the way you thought they did. And he was right not to, wasn’t he? ’Cause you were stupid, and you weren’t paying attention, and you let a Sadness sneak up on you while you were too far away from the group and Frin had to rush in to save you.
It happened so quickly. He didn’t have time to stop it before it attacked. So they jumped in front of you instead, and they took the hit, and then—
(Screams and blood and eyeballs slashed with a claw sharper than a kitchen knife—)
NO OKAY THAT’S IT YOU’RE DONE CHOPPING. You put the knife down very, very carefully, and dump the veggies into the pan to sauté.
…The doctor promised they would be okay. You and Za and Belle ran back to Verbonne with Frin really fast, while Dile stayed behind to pack up everyone’s stuff. You were lucky you weren’t too far out from the village when it happened, but… it still felt like it took forever to get there. Your legs hadn’t hurt that bad since Bambouche got frozen and Nille told you to run.
But the doctor said you got there right in time! She said that between that and Belle’s healing, Frin was going to be okay. He wasn’t going to die. They just needed to keep him asleep in the infirmary for a bit so they could do surgery and whatever else it is that doctors do. And she was right! Because now Frin’s awake, apparently! So it’s fine!!!
(They still lost an eye though. They’re going to be blind on that side forever.)
(Because of you.)
(…They’re going to hate you.)
Your hands feel kind of shaky as you pour the broth into the pot. You didn’t have time to make the stock from scratch, but there was a guy at the market selling some alongside the chicken meat and eggs you had already planned on getting. Usually you prefer to make it yourself, but you’re on a time limit today, and the store-bought stuff still smells pretty good. Hopefully Frin everyone else won’t tell the difference.
The chicken and broth and veggies all go in the pot to simmer, and then it’s time for your least favourite part: waiting.
…
. . .
…You hate waiting.
You can’t stop thinking about it. You wish you could stop thinking about it!!! But you keep catching your brain drifting back to it, and then you can see it in the back of your mind all over again: Frin, jumping in to shield you from a Sadness you didn’t see coming. Frin, screaming in pain as the Sadness hit them, collapsing to the ground in front of you. Frin, bleeding out from a huge deep gash in his face, and the others finally catching up and finishing off the Sadness but it’s already too late, Frin is dying, Frin is dying—
And then you think of Nille, her body slowly turning still and lightless, begging for you to run. To save yourself, and leave her behind.
And so you did.
How many more people will get hurt because of you…?
You hate feeling like this. You don’t want to be useless, but you’re just a dumb kid! You don’t know anything and you can’t do anything and everyone will have to keep sacrificing themselves to save you, and it’ll be all your crabbing fault. You hate this.
YOU HATE THIS!!!
You clench your teeth and curl up on the floor and slap your hands firmly over your mouth and SCREAM.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
It’s still kinda loud, but the scream is trapped inside your throat, so the others shouldn’t be able to hear you from the House. You learned this from Nille, too. Sometimes, when you were younger, you would catch her doing this when she thought you were asleep, and you never told her that you saw it but you never forgot it either. You understand why she did it, now.
You feel a little better. Not much, but a little.
You stand back up and check on your soup again. Still simmering away. Smells good, but it’s got a while to go until it’s ready. According to the clock on the wall, it’s only been… five minutes?! Ugh, that sucks. It’ll need at least another fifteen.
You poke around in the cabinets for a bit until Za walks in the room.
“Heyyy, Bonbon!” He sounds cheerful. For some reason, this bothers you. “How’d it go at the market?”
“Fine.”
“You got everything you needed?”
“Yep.”
“Great! Whatever you’re cooking smells delicious!”
You stare at him. Why’s he here, anyway…? You thought he’d be too busy worrying about Frin to come bother you.
When you don’t say anything, his smile fades. Oh, he looks serious now. “Hey, uh, can I ask you a favour?”
You nod.
“Could you go visit Sif…?” he asks. “They’re awake now, but the doctors wanna keep them in the infirmary for a while. He’s, uh… He’s really worried about you.”
“Why? That’s stupid, I’m fine.” They made sure of that.
“Yeah, we’ve told them that, but I think he’ll feel a lot better if he sees it for himself, y’know?”
You don’t know. You don’t get how it makes any difference if Frin sees you or not. You turn back to the stove, scowling at the soup with your hands balled into fists.
Za’s voice goes soft. “Look, Bonbon… I know it’s scary, but—”
“I’m NOT scared!!!”
“Okay!” He raises his hands in surrender. “So why don’t you want to?”
Because you just don’t want to! It doesn’t mean you’re scared. You’re NOT!!! But that’s not a good enough answer, so…
“…I’m busy,” you say. “Obviously!!! The food’s not done yet, if I leave now it’ll burn!!!”
“Riiight… So when it’s done, you’ll come visit them?”
Stupid crabbing…
“I guess.” You need to bring them the soup, anyway.
“Awesome!” Za grins. “Thanks, Bonbon. I’m sure it’ll be a huge help.”
He’s thanking you? He’s thanking you?! You don’t know why, but something about that makes you angry. Your eyes feel itchy.
“…Get outta my kitchen,” you mumble. And then, louder: “Get OUT! I’m busy! You’re distracting me!”
“Okay, okay, I’m leaving! Sorry!” He backs away towards the door. “See you soon, Bonbon!”
And then you’re alone with your soup again.
You take two forks and pull apart the chicken chunks in the pot, and then let it simmer again for a few more minutes. You give the broth a taste-test. Pretty good, but you think it needs some lemon juice, and maybe a few more spices. You add a variety from the kitchen’s pantry until it tastes perfect.
Finally, you cut up some baguette you got from the boulangerie earlier and lather the slices in butter. You ladle some of the soup into a bowl, sprinkle some chili flakes and parsley on top, pop a few bread slices on a plate to the side, and then you’re done.
It looks and smells delicious. You don’t think anyone would be mad about this. It turned out good! You did good! You didn’t mess it up!!!
Now you just have to deliver it.
You pick up the plate. The infirmary’s not far; Verbonne’s House is pretty small. You walk carefully so you don’t spill the soup, but it still doesn’t take long for you to get there.
The door’s open. You can hear everyone talking inside. Dile and Belle and Za mostly, but… yeah, there’s a fourth voice in there, too. It’s very quiet, so you can’t make out anything they’re saying, but you’re sure. That’s Frin. He really is awake.
That’s good, right? That means he’s okay, right?
You step inside.
When you saw them yesterday, they looked like crab. They were asleep, and pale, and half of their head was wrapped in bandages, which made their hair stick out at weird angles. You only knew he wasn’t dead because you could see him breathing. It was weird. You didn’t like it at all.
Not much has changed since then. He still looks like crab, but at least now he’s sitting up against some pillows, his remaining eye half-open while the others talk to him. It opens fully when he sees you.
“Bonbon!” They lean forward quickly, which makes the others panic and urge them to sit back. He doesn’t listen. “Are you okay?! Are you—”
“I’m fine, stupidfrin,” you say. You take a couple steps forward so he can see you better. “See? So you can stop worrying!!!”
Their eye looks over you frantically. Finally, they seem to realise you’re fine, and they relax.
“I’m glad,” he says, smiling. And then he winces. He probably sat up too fast. Stupid.
You walk up to the table next to the bed and put the soup down. “…Don’t be dumb,” you tell him. “You’re gonna hurt yourself worse if you move too fast…”
He starts to protest, but Dile interrupts.
“Boniface is right,” she says. “You need to be more careful. Give your body time to heal before moving around too much — it’s a big adjustment.”
They shake their head slowly. Why are they still smiling?! “You don’t need to worry about me,” they say softly. “I’m all right now.”
“Siffrin, that’s the third time you’ve made that joke.”
Huh? A joke…?
Oh. He’s pointing at his right eye, because he lost the left one.
. . .
You want to punch something.
You shove a spoon in his face. Their eye struggles to focus on it, and they have to reach for it a couple times before their hand finally manages to close around it. The doctor warned you this would happen — it’s got to do with depth perspections or something. You don’t remember exactly what it’s called. You don’t care.
“Eat your soup,” you say, looking away from him. “It’s probably way better than whatever crab food they’ve got here, so you should eat it while it’s hot.”
“It smells great!” Belle offers. “Is it just for Siffrin, or—?”
“No, there’s some for everyone.” You cross your arms. “It’s back in the kitchen, though. You gotta serve yourself. Frin’s only getting theirs in bed ’cause they’re not allowed to get up.”
“O-Oh, of course…!”
You get out of the way as Za helps Frin lift the bowl onto their lap, careful not to spill anything on the bedsheets. They struggle a bit with getting the spoon to their face. Is having two eyes really that important even for stuff like this…? Surely it can’t be that hard, right?
He manages to get a spoonful into his mouth. His eye lights up.
“Mmm, this is so good Bonb—!” He looks up at you. His face falls. “…Bonnie,” they correct themself.
Oh. So he is mad at you.
…At least he’s still eating.
You don’t watch as he devours the meal. It makes sense that they’re mad at you — it’s your fault they got hurt, after all. You just don’t understand why they’re not acting mad like a normal person. They should yell at you! You’d deserve it! But instead he’s just… asking if you’re okay, and smiling at you, and making stupid jokes about being ‘all right’ as if you haven’t just RUINED HIS CRABBING LIFE.
You don’t get it! He should be furious! Everyone should, but they’re all acting like you didn’t do anything wrong. You figured the others were just too busy worrying about Frin, and that it would change once he woke up. But now it’s just the same thing!!!
Is Frin stupid? Do they just not care about getting hurt? They’re acting like it’s fine. But it’s not fine! None of this is fine, and you don’t understand, and you’re too young and dumb and useless to do anything about it, and if you can’t stop it it’s just going to happen again—
There’s a clink as Frin puts the spoon down. Like always, he finished his meal quickly, even though you gave them a massive serving.
You snatch the empty bowl from their hands. They flinch.
“…I’m gonna go wash the dishes,” you announce. You don’t look at them. “Send someone else to get seconds if you want some. …Bye.”
And like the scared little kid you are, you run away.
You find out later that they did go back for seconds — or at least, they sent Za to go get seconds for them. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it, too. You made a huge batch, but there still weren’t any leftovers the next day.
You had your own portion, because it’s important that a cook remembers to feed themself. It was good. Not as good as the stuff Nille makes when you’re sick, but you think its healing powers should still work.
Not that you’ll admit to that. They still don’t need to know.
You leave Verbonne the next week. Frin’s still a little wobbly on their feet, but the King’s Curse was starting to catch up, so you had to go. Za makes him an eyepatch, and Belle helps with Healing Craft when they need it, and Dile guides them through some exercises she read in books to help him adjust. And you…
You cook. It’s the only thing you’re good at.
Frin never yells at you. Not when he bumps into things or misses with his attacks or trips over his own feet. Not when they’re wincing from the pain, or even when you catch them staring at their scar in the mirror that one time. They never get mad at you.
But they also never call you Bonbon.
Before long, everyone’s back to pretending everything’s normal, especially Frin. You’re not stupid enough to believe them. You were always taught that Change was supposed to be a good thing, even when it’s scary or difficult, but this? There’s nothing good about this. You brought a bunch of bad changes into Frin’s life, and they’re just pretending it doesn’t matter. You hate it.
The quest for the Orbs still continues. Despite everything that happened, there’s still a King to beat and a country to save. You still need to save Nille! Even though you can’t help. Even though you’re useless.
Everything sucks, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
So you cook. You make egg toast and galettes and fried rice, and some Ka Buan dishes that Dile shows you, and a billion other things to keep everyone fed. You almost make croissants one day, but Frin looks so disgusted when you suggest it that you change your mind and make something completely different instead, which is weird because you swear he used to like them just fine. The issue can’t be with your cooking, though. He eats almost everything you make like it’s the best thing he’s ever tried.
But it’s not enough. The adults still won’t let you fight. So you look up recipes, and you buy ingredients and collect utensils, and you keep snacks and fruits and candy on you at all times to share when people seem like they need it. You convince Dile to let you hold the tonics and medicines a few times while the others fight, and you hand them out carefully when they get hurt or when someone calls out to you. You practice throwing rocks and hitting things with your pan and running fast, fast, fast, honing your buffing techniques so that for once you can actually be useful instead of making everything worse.
And you cook. Like always, you cook.
It helps, you think. But it doesn’t bring Frin’s eye back. Every time they walk into something or miss something on their blind side or try to wink and just end up looking stupid, you remember.
He doesn’t seem to care. You don’t understand why he doesn’t care. You wonder sometimes if he and Nille would get along, and then you get sad and angry and you stop thinking about it.
Adults are stupid. You will never understand.
You don’t know how to fix this. You don’t think you can. Every day your anger gets bigger and bigger inside your head, and you don’t know what to do about it, so you push it away as much as you can. You don’t do a very good job of it. But it’s the best you can do.
Later, just before you get to Dormont, you find a shop that sells malanga and giraumon. You keep them hidden in your bag, and make plans to use them the day you fight the King.
You never get to see their reaction.
⋆ ✧ ⋆
The next time you make soup, it’s after you beat the King.
It didn’t go how you thought it would. Apparently Frin was in a timeloops, which is kinda like if he had to go to school forever while sick and hungry and didn’t get a day off or even a lunch break. You don’t really get it, but it made them act weird and nearly blow up the world, which is fair enough, you think. So you’re not really surprised when, after everything is over and Belle’s boss starts telling you stories, Frin suddenly passes out on Za’s shoulder.
It’s not the same as back then. They’re not fully K.O.’d — when the others try to wake him up, he grumbles and complains, and then just falls back asleep. The Head House lady says it’s fine, so you’re not really worried. Apparently that’s just what happens when someone Crafts too much? They just need to rest for a while, she says.
Za carries Frin back to the Clocktower to get some sleep, and you all go with him. There’s a party happening in the village, but none of you really want to go. Everyone’s too tired and overwhelmed to get swarmed by random townspeople all night.
It’s been a big day. You know exactly what to do about that.
Soup time!!!
This time everyone needs healing soup, not just Frin, though they do need it the most. But even though Belle’s not passed out like he is, you still think she’s been through a lot! She just saved the world, and you know she was really stressed about that!!! Dile’s super old and had to do a lot of running, so she’ll need it too. And Za… seems pretty happy, actually. He had his mushy confession to Frin earlier, and it sounds like it went okay? So he doesn’t really need healing soup. But he can still have some, because you’re the nicest person ever.
You still have a bunch of random ingredients leftover from yesterday. They might not go together as well as the last time you made soup, but you’ve got to work with what you’ve got! You chuck a bunch of them in the pot and get cooking.
You don’t think about much while you work, this time. You’ve done enough thinking today. Everything’s been so confusing, but… you’re sure, somehow, that everyone will be okay.
By the time dinner’s ready, the others are able to pry Frin away from the bed long enough for him to eat with everyone at the table. They keep almost falling asleep into their bowl, but they’re here!!! You were hoping everyone could have dinner together yesterday, but yesterday was weird, so you have to make up for it today.
It’s nice to have everyone together. The only one you’re missing is Nille, but you’ll see her soon, too. You can’t wait for everyone to meet her.
Frin doesn’t say much at dinner, and he doesn’t go back for seconds, but you think that’s okay because he’s so tired. They look happy, though. When they’re done, they push their bowl out of the way and put their head on the table.
Za chuckles. “Time to go back to bed?”
Frin makes a muffled sound and nods.
“All right, I’ll help you back up the stairs—”
Here’s your chance! You jump up out of your seat. “No, I got it!”
The others stare at you.
“Uh, Bonbon…”
“Bonnie, are you sure—”
“I got it! I’m strong! C’mere, Frin!”
Frin shakes their head, pushing themself up from the table weakly. “Nn, ’sfine, I can walk by myself,” he mumbles, but you stop him with an outstretched arm.
“Nope! I’m gonna help you anyway,” you tell him. “Everyone else can do the dishes while we do that. …Belle and Za can do the dishes,” you correct yourself when you see Dile’s face. Then you think about it for a second, and correct yourself again: “Za can do the dishes.”
“Nooo, why me?!”
“Phew…”
Frin smiles, and lets you sling their arm over your shoulder so you can help them up. “Thanks, Bonbon,” he says quietly.
You nod solemnly, and lead them up the stairs.
Frin’s not that big compared to most adults, but he’s still taller and heavier than you. Helping them get up the stairs while they’re extra weak like this is hard. But you manage to get him to the bed, and he collapses into it with relief.
They look like they’re about to fall asleep immediately, but you’ve still got something to say! You poke their face until they open their eye again.
“Hey, um. Frin?” You’re nervous suddenly, but you have to say it. Frin already did his part apologising. It’s your turn, now. “…I’m sorry.”
He blinks. “What for?”
You take a deep breath, the way they taught you. “When you lost your eye…”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“I know!!!” You still don’t really believe it, but Frin does, so maybe that’s all that matters? But that’s not the problem. “That’s not what I’m ’pologising for. Um… After it happened… I’m sorry for being a crab for so long. I don’t know why I did it, but it was mean, and not fair. I… I’m really sorry, Frin…!”
“You don’t need to apologise?” Their eyebrows are scrunched up. They look confused. “I don’t blame you for being upset about it. You never had to deal with something like this before, right?”
“But… If I just talked to you about it…”
They shrug. “I get it, talking’s hard.”
You groan. Do you really have to spell it out for them?
“I know you get it. That’s the POINT!” you say. It comes out a little too loud. He winces a bit, so you lower your volume, but you keep going. “You almost blew up the world today ’cause you didn’t talk about stuff, dummy! And we all said you shouldn’t do that, so if I said that and then I also didn’t talk about stuff, I’d be a huge hippo-crab.”
“’Hippo-crab’?”
“Yeah.” You might be misremembering the word a bit, but the others aren’t around to correct you, and Frin doesn’t seem to know what you’re talking about. You’ll just have to explain. “It’s like, um, when you tell someone not to do something but then you do the same thing. Like when I got in trouble for eating snacks in class even though the teacher gets to do it whenever they want. It’s even worse than just being a normal crab!”
“I don’t think you’re a crab, Bonbon.” They smile. It looks like they mean it.
“O-Oh.” Your cheeks burn. “Well… I don’t think you’re a crab either. Even if you act dumb sometimes,” you admit.
“Heh… I’m honoured…”
He closes his eye. You don’t have to come up with anything to say after that, because he’s already asleep. You almost hope he forgets that last part… It was true, but it’s embarrassing. That’s not cool! You’re supposed to be cool! Everyone knows that preteens don’t have feelings!!!
But. You’re glad he doesn’t hate you. And they promised they would super duper try to not get hurt anymore, so you don’t have to hate them either. You think that’s a good place to start.
Oh! And you’re allowed to hug him now! But you don’t want to disturb him while he’s sleeping, so you pat his head gently instead.
Pat, pat. They don’t even flinch.
“…Thank you, Frin,” you whisper. “For, um, saving me all those times. And for trying not to get hurt anymore. But don’t tell anyone I said it.”
He’s fast asleep, so he doesn’t say anything, but you think you see them smile a little bit. You smile a little bit, too.
“…Good night,” you say.
You’re still kinda angry, you think. You don’t know how not to be. Every time you see their eye, you remember what happened, and you don’t think you’re ever going to forget it. But you don’t just get to be mean to people forever when you’re mad at them, because that’s not fair and it doesn’t help anyone. Nille taught you better than that.
You know that Frin protected you because they love you. You don’t like seeing them get hurt, but they also hate seeing you get hurt, so from now on they’ll try to protect you in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone except for dumb evil crabs like the King. And if Frin’s trying, it’s only fair that you do the same! You want to protect them, too. Whether that’s by cooking or by fighting, you’ll do your best.
You’ll super duper try, and so will Frin.
That’s all you can do.