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In Cheong Ha academy, there was a hierarchical structure that put students in their own categories of status. There’s the scholarship students, then the middle class students. The upper society consists of mostly idol trainees, athletes, and Chaebol’s. Then there’s Jeon Jeongguk.
Jeongguk had been a quiet observer for most of his life, since he was a kid. He had watched his parents fall out of love when he was in middle school, leaving him in an awkward position when they had gotten a divorce. He helped his mother pick herself up, making a silent promise to himself to never find a love like his parents.
Once he had officially been accepted to Cheong Ha academy, he and his mother had celebrated with a small cake and dinner that she had scraped enough money from working odd jobs to afford. Jeongguk had always been popular, but once he started Cheong Ha, his popularity skyrocketed.
Confessions flew in left, right, and centre. From girls, guys, and even some of the Chaebols who are already betrothed. He declined every single one of them, earning a reputation of the academy's infamous heartbreaker. Suddenly all eyes were on him.
But his eyes were on the quiet student that everyone had ignored out of spite. A person like Kim Taehyung was rare to see. He was intelligent beyond compare, topping the exams with ease as scholarship students gritted their teeth. He had an aura so powerful that Chaebols became intimidated to talk down on him, because he was too kind for his own good. A breath of fresh air to their expensive worlds.
Jeongguk observed him from afar, watching as the artist talked to small inanimate objects and followed bugs with pure curiosity. He wore shabby clothes and rolled around on his skateboard. He even snuck a dog inside the dormitories without the guards noticing, and now he goes out every night to walk the small pomeranian.
Jeongguk found himself becoming more and more invested in this Boy’s life, unintentionally becoming his shadow in everything to keep him out of harm's way.
He even accepted his friend Namjoon’s request to attend an exhibition hosted by their academy once he heard Taehyung will have some portraits on display. So he dressed in his best suit that he had, spritzing some of his expensive cologne that he used for special occasions before styling his hair.
The moment he walked into the exhibition, everyone stopped and stared at him. He had become the centre of attention, and suddenly he felt bad because Taehyung had probably worked so hard on his painting.
He walks around the gallery, feigning interest in some art works before finally approaching Taehyung. He stares at the painting on the wall. A beautiful portrait of the sea, a boy standing with his arms stretched out wide and his hair flowing in the wind. Euphoria.
He swallows, casting a glance over to Taehyung who seemed to be in his own little world. Just talk to him. Say something!
“How much are you willing to sell this for?” Jeongguk manages to sputter out with as much confidence as he could muster up. Taehyung’s eyes finally meet him and suddenly he wants the world to swallow him whole. No wonder why the entire student body hates him. It’s not hate. It’s envy.
After Taehyung tells Jeongguk that it isn’t for sale, he goes back to his nonchalant ways. But lord knows deep down inside, he was about to become a shy stuttering mess.
Then it began.
Jeongguk secretly started writing letters and notes to Kim Taehyung, leaving them in his locker every single week without a miss. It was his little secret, and once it began, he didn’t stop. He wrote long paragraphs about his day, wishing that Taehyung would one day write back despite his anonymity.
And then it happened.
Taehyung had left a letter sticking out of the vent of his locker, his writing etched on the corner of the envelope “dear my admirer.”
Jeongguk took the letter from the vents and tucked his one in return, looking around the corridors before running back to his dormitory.
He tears open the letter and reads over the lines.
Dear my admirer,
I wish to know who you are, I wish this anonymity will come to an end. Your letters keep me on my toes and I find myself looking forward to reading every single worded poetry you write. The thing you said about my eyes, do you mean it?
Where you said my eyes hold the entire warmth on a summer's day, and my irises keep the winter's cold snap at bay.
I wish I could see myself through your eyes, you see me so beautifully. One day I hope you find the courage to meet me, and please may it come sooner than later.
Please, give me a hint of who you are so I can finally put a face to the person who holds my every fibre of attention.
Yours truly,
Vanté.
Jeongguk found himself reading over the lines a million times more before writing in response.
Taehyung,
I mean every word I write in my letters. You wish to see yourself through my eyes? You should see the way my heart palpates when you’re near. The way my eyes linger when you pass by me in the corridors.
As for who I am, I wish to remain anonymous for now. Please understand that I am in no position to pursue you as of now, I am neither worthy of your love.
Until then, I will write a certain feature that I bear in every letter I send.
My eyes are round and dark. There is a scar that rests on my left cheek if you look close enough.
That’s all for now, I wish you luck on the finals before winter break.
Forever,
Ian.
Jeongguk sent that letter the next week, now excited for whatever Taehyung’s response will be.
———
The crisp winter air brushed against Taehyung’s cheeks as he stood on the courtyard with his best friend Jimin clinging to his arm. The Campus Christmas tree is about to be lit up for the season, and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. The lights brighten up the courtyard, everyone taking photos with their friends and partners.
Taehyung glances back down to the crowd in front of him, his smile still as he matches the look on Golden boy Jeon Jeongguk’s face. It was odd, the intensity of his stare made Taehyung feel seen for the first time, and a blush paints his cheeks as he gives Jeongguk a small smile.
Something about the Baseball captain made everyone swoon, including Taehyung, the school's social outcast. He had the opportunity to attend the school out of pure luck, and that ticked everyone off, including the scholarship students who had worked hard to be there.
He had stayed hidden from the crowd, watching Jeongguk from a distance as the boy strutted around campus with a bored look in his eyes and a cocky smirk every time their Baseball team came home with a win. He was the prettiest person Taehyung had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes upon.
They had spoken once, briefly at the school’s art exhibition, that Taehyung had the privilege of showcasing one of his paintings. Jeongguk lingered, staring at Taehyung’s art piece with calculating eyes that the artist couldn’t decipher.
Jeongguk lifts a hand to wave hesitantly, Taehyung notes. He looks around before waving back just as shyly, hoping that he wasn’t making a complete fool of himself.
“No way! Did Jeon Jeongguk just wave at you?” Jimin gasps, watching the jock turn away and reply to his friends. Taehyung shrugs as he is being dragged away from the rowdy bunch. “Do you think he’s Ian?”
“The letter boy? Can’t be.” Taehyung shakes his head in disbelief. Jeongguk wasn’t the type to be a hopeless romantic. It was common knowledge that Jeon despised anything related to love, with the amount of rejections he had dished out with no care in the world. “He would never look in my direction more than once.”
“Then tell me why he’s looking at you right now.” Jimin teases, and Taehyung turns around quickly, almost excitedly, before his shoulders drop. “Gotcha! But seriously, if anyone were Ian, it’s definitely him!”
“Why would he like me though? I’m just a nobody.” Taehyung pouts down at his hand me down gloves that his brother had regifted to him. He shivers in the old torn jacket he was wearing. “He’s Jeon Jeongguk! And I’m just Taehyung.”
“I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Come on Tae, you have many admirers.” Jimin says desperately.
“But none of them writes me as ethereal as Ian does.” Taehyung flushed, his face a darker shade of pink. Before Jimin could reply, he saw his friend from his dance class approaching.
“Jiminie, me and the guys are going to roast a few marshmallows by the bonfire. Do you and your friend want to join us?” The boy with a heart smile says, and Jimin looks at Taehyung questioning.
“You go, I will meet you there.” Taehyung reassures him, and Jimin gives him an almost begging look. “I just have to drop something off in my locker.”
“Fine, but be quick.” Jimin pouts as he loops an arm through Hoseok’s, cuddling into his warmth.
Taehyung leaves quietly, whistling as he makes his way into the dark corridors. He turns on the flashlight on his phone, walking in the dark as he finds his locker. He opens it up after punching in the code, his eyes falling on a knitted purple scarf, a letter on top. He touches the material in awe, eyes glistening as he opens the letter up as gently as he could.
My Winter’s warmth,
I know you said no gifts, but I couldn’t help myself. This wooly scarf took me a couple of days to make, and though the knitting could be used with a bit of work, it is the best I could do in such short notice. I’ve noticed that you wear a lot of purple, so I used that knowledge for the yarn colour.
It would make me the happiest person in the world if I could at least see you wearing it once, but maybe I am asking for too much.
I won’t be able to see you for the next few weeks, so that means I won’t be able to send you letters for a while. Just know my journal is filled with unsent letters that I deemed unworthy to send to you, and maybe I will have the courage to hand it to you in person.
Please stay healthy for the next few weeks, and enjoy your holidays with your family. Maybe after this break I will finally have the courage to meet you face to face, but for now I leave you with a piece of my heart.
This is Bam, a dog I adopted not too long ago. He is a bit rough, a literal huge puppy might I add. Maybe when we meet, we can have play dates at the dog park. (Bam is really rough when he gets too excited).
Forever,
Ian.
Taehyung smiles at the Polaroid picture of the Doberman attached to the letter, excitedly tucking it in his pocket. He grabs the scarf, quickly putting his final reply letter for the year in the slit of the locker. He inhales the scarf with a smile, a hint of sweet vanilla perfume invading his senses. When he makes it back outside to the bonfire, he takes a seat next to Jimin.
“What a coincidence that you and Jeon came back shortly after one another.” Jimin nudges Taehyung, and he tilts his head as he sees Jeongguk blushing intensely before joining the group. “He wasn’t here when I showed up.”
Taehyung looks up at Jeongguk from where he is sitting, freezing instantly when their eyes meet once again. But this time, he notices the scar on Jeongguk’s cheek, and heat curls in his stomach.
———
Jeongguk steps out from the pillar he had been hiding behind, a little winded from almost being caught. He waddles over to Taehyung’s locker, pulling the envelope from the slit like clock work before opening it. Taehyung’s messy writing sends a swirl of butterflies to Jeongguk’s stomach, his eyes flying across the words on the paper.
My Dearest Poet,
Winter break is approaching and I know I will count down the days where I will eventually receive another letter from you since we are heading home for the holidays.
Have you ever heard of the meaning of the first snowfall of the season? It is said that if you watch it with the person you love, your love will last an eternity. I imagine our first meeting being something similar. These letters are our “first snow”, and you gave that to us.
You mentioned that you live in Busan, which is quite funny because my best friend lives there. I will be visiting him for the second half of Winter break, you and I can witness the first snow together at the same exact time.
I can’t lie and say that I won’t miss these letters for the next couple of weeks. They are the only constant that I have had in my life recently, and again, I thank you for that. Is it too soon to reveal that I am in love with the ghost of you?
Please tell me who you are soon.
With all my heart,
Vanté.
He brings the letter to his lips, closing his eyes as he nods. He will finally reveal his identity as soon as he’s back from winter break.
———
Jeongguk is buzzing as he steps back onto campus, practically bouncing off the walls as he makes his way to Taehyung’s locker. He smiles widely when he sees the familiar artist, still wearing the scarf he had knitted. His smile dims when he sees an unfamiliar person standing next to him, laughing along to whatever Taehyung is saying, and he swears he sees red when that stranger’s hand ruffles Taehyung’s hair.
His mood instantly sours, the sudden urge to reveal himself buried in the back of his mind as he trudges away. The rest of the day he feels a little restless as he does laps in the basketball gym, the winter air still a little present outside.
He knows he’s being a little irrational, and maybe a little petty for ignoring Taehyung like the plague, but it stung. He wiped the sweat from his forehead before the doors to the gym were being swung open, startling him. Taehyung walks in timidly, his head down as he makes his way towards the stands to sit down.
“Tae! Sorry I’m late.” A voice shouts from the entrance, and Jeongguk feels himself getting irritated once again. The male is tall, handsome, and everything about him makes Jeongguk angry. Like his perfect toothy smile, and his hair that falls a little too perfectly to the side. His jaw clenched as he sees the two of them exchange a hug, whispering quietly to each other.
Jeongguk scoffs loudly, the sound echoing as he makes his way out of the gym, slamming the doors. He yanks his locker open, grabbing his hat and scarf before heading back to the dorms. His room is quiet, the only sound inside is the buzzing from the mini fridge nearby.
He grabs his pen and letter paper, and instead of writing a letter, he writes a simple note with a drawing of a bear.
Valentines is near, is it safe to assume that you will be mine? Meet me on the rooftop on the art block tomorrow night. I will wait for you.
-Your Poet.
His forehead meets his table as his heart beats wildly in his chest. It reminds him of his pre-game shivers, the feeling inside his chest. He delivers the note in sworn secrecy, jumping back when a sound from down the corridors echoes.
He scurries away quickly.
———
Taehyung purses his lips as he takes a seat on the old school chairs on the rooftop, his pretty purple scarf sitting around his neck as the cool air makes his cheek flush. Excitement burns through his skin as he watches the door with anticipation. He will finally meet his love letter.
The door creaks open and he stands up quickly, his smile dropping when he sees Park Seojoon emerging from the shadows. He tilts his head slightly when Seojoon steps in front of him with a shy smile.
“You’re Ian?” Taehyung whispers, trying his best to mask his disappointment. He doesn’t know why he felt this way when Ian had carved their nickname in his heart through letters alone.
“Yes, and you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed about.” Seojoon pulls the flowers and chocolates from behind his back, handing them over to Taehyung. “So you agree to be my Valentine?”
Taehyung sucks in a breath. Something felt off about the entire ordeal, but this is the same person who made his heart swoon a thousand times over and over again. But still, that little bit of doubt clouded his mind.
“I- yes, okay I will be your valentine.” Taehyung gave him a small smile, and Seojoon cheered loudly as he hugged Taehyung tightly. He pulls back before grabbing the drawing out of his pocket, gently putting it in Seojoon’s hands. “I drew this for you over break.”
“Wow, Tae! This is beautiful!” Seojoon grins before pocketing the drawing carelessly in the back pocket of his jeans.
Taehyung frowns lightly, but he snaps out of it when he hears something coming from the roof's entrance. He catches a glimpse of a red scarf, and confusion arises from within. The walk back to the dorm is quiet. He bids Seojoon goodbye, turning his face when the male leant in for a kiss.
Once his door closes, he steps up to his desk and caresses the letters. He lifts them up and places them in the top drawer, a cold sense of reality washing over him. He tells Jimin about the entire situation through a phone call, and his best friend has his doubts. He’s still hell bent on Jeongguk being Ian.
And Taehyung finally realises that the cause of his disappointment wasn’t Seojoon. It was because his love letter wasn’t Jeon Jeongguk.
———
Jeongguk opens the door to the roof top with barely concealed elation, his heart dropping at the sight of Taehyung and that strange man once again. Except now they were hugging intimately, and his heart plummets once more when Taehyung hands a piece of paper over to the male.
He takes a step back, inhaling shakily before turning on his heel and running back down the staircase. He storms back to his dormitory before ripping off the red scarf his mother had knitted for him, sliding against the door as a sigh escapes his mouth.
This is definitely karma for rejecting every single person that confessed to him. It’s a karma that life had cruelly dealt him, because Taehyung was the first of many to him. His first crush, the first person who knew Jeongguk intimately but never physically. The first person Jeongguk wasn’t afraid to love.
The soft knock on his door makes him flinch, and he finds himself scrambling off the floor and dusting himself off. He opens the door slowly, met with the sight of Kim Taehyung and his dishevelled state. Taehyung pushes Jeongguk backwards and shuts the door behind him, breathing gently before turning around.
“I know this is crazy, believe me when I say this. But I’ve had this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that Seojoon isn’t the person who had been writing me the letters.” Taehyung breathed out, looking into Jeongguk’s eyes intensely. “Tell me, end my misery. Is it you or have I made the mistake of picturing the wrong person I’ve fallen in love with.”
Jeongguk stares at Taehyung like he’s a madman, his breath caught in his throat. Taehyung falters, and he takes a step back, his hand locking around the door knob before Jeongguk finally speaks up.
“How do you know it’s me?” Jeongguk says softly. “What makes you think it isn’t that stranger?”
“Because he looked at my art like it was nothing, like it was less than important. I drew Bam and he just waved it off.” Taehyung whispered, coming closer. “But the night we first spoke, you looked at my painting like it meant something to you. You looked at my painting like it was something worth looking at.”
Taehyung steps closer, fingers brushing against Jeongguk’s cheek.
“And your scar, I couldn’t find this scar on Seojoon’s face. I remember that night when we were sitting by the bonfire. I remember you.” Taehyung says gently and Jeongguk finds himself leaning into his touch. “So tell me, tell me you’re Ian. The one I’ve been looking for.”
“It’s true.” Jeongguk breathes, feeling Taehyung’s touch becoming more firmer. “I-I thought you had something going on with that guy so I backed off, but it’s true. I’ve been writing all those letters.”
“And you mean every single word you write? Because Jeon, I can’t take anymore heartbreak than I’ve already faced lately.” Taehyung said shakily, and Jeongguk cups his cheeks with his hands.
“You are the only person that I have ever truly felt this way about.” Jeongguk says softly, a bunny-toothed smile making its way to his mouth. “No one can hold a candle to your flame.”
Taehyung’s eyes go wide, glossing over with unshed tears before he leans in for a kiss. Jeongguk reciprocated right away, arms snaking around the artist’s waist.
“So I guess it’s safe to say that you’ll be mine for Valentine’s Day?” Jeongguk breathes against Taehyung’s swollen lips.
“You fool, I’ve been yours this entire time.” Taehyung chuckles lightly before pecking the jock’s lips once more.
———