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Lying down after an exhausting day, Toya finally had some time to himself, and some time to mull over his current predicament. He was well and truly stuck. It was Valentine’s Day in only two day’s time, and what had he planned for said day?
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
He really wanted to do something special, it was his and Akito’s first Valentine’s Day together as a couple after all! But no, nothing was coming to mind. He lay in bed, scrolling on his phone woefully, hoping that some semblance of an idea would crawl its way into his head so that he could at least have something prepared.
Search engines weren’t much help, no matter what he looked up, the same three websites would appear. He even considered switching browsers at one point. (He really didn’t want to go to all of that effort at one am, but at the same time, Akito was worth that effort, wasn’t he? And Toya’d be a bad partner if he didn’t go to the full extent for his boyfriend…)
He snuggled into his Pochacco plushie, rolling onto his side. …hang on, could he gift Akito a plushie? Maybe a matching one- like a Bad Badtz-Maru plushie that was also weighted so they could match?
Wait, no. Toya had already won one of those for him the same day he’d won the Pochacco. And, he’s sure Akito wouldn’t want a soft toy for Valentine’s. Would he think it to be too childish? He couldn’t risk it.
Toya sighed softly as a small pout came over his face. He was back to square one. Whelp, he may as well go to sleep. Maybe he’ll come up with better ideas in the morning? That usually worked with composing…
~~~
By the time Toya had arrived into school the next morning, his mind was- predictably- still utterly empty. He sat at his desk, trying to distract his mind with other things, such as the lesson itself. It was a new topic in Algebra, and was surprisingly interesting for the difficulty of the topic. He needed to pay attention as well for his grade, he couldn’t let himself slip behind due to Akito. He’d promised himself that when they started dating.
And on top of that, by the looks of things, he also had to pay attention for Mizuki’s sake too, as she was barely conscious. She looked so peaceful, her head on the desk, and candy-floss coloured hair splayed out over her paper. As much as Toya condemned slacking off, he had to admit, it looked appealing.
Just thinking of him and Akito dating, pulled him right back out of any trance of concentration he was whisked away in before, and he was harshly dragged back into the reality that he had no gift for his boyfriend.
He could feel the small pangs of a creeping anxiety rippling at the edge of his mind. This always happened to him when there was a deadline he wasn’t exactly sure he could meet, or a choreo that wasn’t clicking in his mind, but this one felt different… more personal. A crescendoing worry was building in his brain as he wracked his mind for more ideas.
Why weren’t any coming to him?!
“Okay Toya, breathe. Think logically. You’re not coming up with ideas, because Valentine’s Day has always been a foreign concept to you.” He mumbled to himself. “Just… think of something from those rom-coms Saki showed you…”
Still nothing. He’d have to turn to his friends for help.
And as luck would have it, the bell for break wrang then and there. It was the perfect opportunity to ask Mizuki something before Akito inevitably sprang into his classroom. (He swears Akito runs through the hallways some days to see him. The sentiment is sweet but Toya always worries about him injuring himself in the process.)
Toya gently approached Mizuki’s desk, and wrapped on the wooden surface with his knuckles. Almost instantly, she sprang up, dazed, but her smile widened upon seeing Toya. She let out a soft gasp, slamming her hands on the desk. Toya would have flinched at the action had he not been used to her rambunctious nature.
“Toya-kun! I know what this is about!” She exclaimed with more enthusiasm than he’d seen her have all of class.
“You do?” Toya questioned, softly motioning for her to quiet down- an act which she did not obey.
“Yup! You’ve come to ask your big sister in law for advice on what to buy Li’l bro for tomorrow, haven’t you?” Her face was plastered in a cheeky smirk, which Toya couldn’t help but find contagious. He also wondered how he had been so obvious, but didn’t question it. Mizuki obviously didn’t have any ill intentions.
“I mean, I have. What would you recommend Akiyama?” She paused, seemingly running through a list of imaginary options in her head.
“Well… he’s always looking for new earrings isn’t he? Just get him a pair of those, I’m sure he’ll love it, Toya-kun!”
Toya mulled over this response in his head, before nodding thoughtfully. “That was very insightful Akiyama. I’ll take it into consideration. Thank you.”
“No problem!” She replied gleefully, before digging in her bag for some kind of break. Toya turned back towards the doorway, before realising Akito was - in fact - not there. Strange. Maybe he was late? Or more likely, one of the hall monitors caught him darting about the halls. Toya will have to go looking for him…
~~~
It was lunchtime now, and unfortunately for him, Toya still hadn’t made up his mind. It especially didn’t help that Akito wasn’t in school in the first place. It worried Toya to no end- they’d walked into school this morning! Had Akito simply not wanted to complain about feeling sick this morning to worry Toya?
That anxiety was back again. What if he really was sick? What if he’d thrown up and felt too ashamed to tell Toya? Or what if he was avoiding Toya altogether so as to not get him sick? The thoughts jabbed into him, and made him grimace internally.
Or maybe externally too, with how An was looking at him. Due to Akito’s absence, both Shiraishi and Kusanagi had been kind enough to let him eat his lunch in their form room with them. The offer was considerate, but currently Toya worried if he looked rude. He hadn’t really eaten much- or spoken for that matter. And the two girls knew he was the quieter type, but he probably looked like death currently.
He usually spent lunches on the roof with Akito, or some other quiet spot, where they’d eat their lunch in minimal noise, before Akito would inevitably start constructing the wildest stories about the past twenty-four hours (or less!) Toya enjoyed the warmth of his partner’s voice.
But it just felt awkward without him.
An finally decided to shatter the tense tranquility. As she looked over at the other teens.
“So…” She started casually, not seeming to have even felt the previous oppressive atmosphere, “Anyone got plans for Valentine’s Day? It’s right around the corner y’know.”
Nene peered up from the game she was playing and shrugged. “Not really, no. I have a show on Valentine’s, so I’ll probably just be preparing for that, to be honest.”
An seemed to be appeased with that answer, and so she turned her gaze to her blue-haired companion. With a daunting smirk and glitter in her eyes, she attempted to pry a similar response out of him.
“How about you Toya? I’m sure you’ve got something reaaally special planned for Akito-kun, hmm?” Toya always had a hard time discerning genuine questions from teasing, but he was sure that this was- in fact- perhaps not a heartfelt question pertaining to the state of Akito and his love life. However, Toya wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, and besides, she’d probably have some good date ideas, wouldn’t she?
“Well, actually Shiraishi… I don’t.” If it was possible for An’s eyes to burst from her head due to shock, Toya would expect now to be a prime opportunity for them to do so.
“WHAT?!” She exclaimed, “But you two are all over each other normally! How can you not have anything prepared?! Like- not a single thing?”
Toya could feel heat rising to his face at her comments, and he was sure that the tips of his ears were bright red. “Well… I was actually going to ask you and Kusanagi for some advice, if that’s not too much trouble.”
“Of course not,” An reassured him jubilantly, “You’ve come to the right place!”
“Well, what do you suggest?”
“First of all, do you want to hear the list of ideas I have for Kohammy and I?”
“Sure?” Toya responded, blissfully unaware of the vortex of lesbianism he was about to be sucked into…
~~~
Toya began his walk home, after a wholly unhelpful lunchtime consisting of An gushing about Kohane. And while it was sweet, he didn’t want to flat out copy what she had suggested. He might have to ask the Vocaloids for help at this rate. Sure, they weren’t able to have love lives, but they knew his feelings better than he did, and they even had insight about what Akito might like. It felt quite logical as he was walking into a secluded backstreet, and pressing go on “Ready Steady” on his phone.
…He had not anticipated the fact that nobody would be there.
Sure sometimes when he would come late at night, only Meiko or Luka would be there, or maybe Kaito would be asleep on the sofa-
But nobody? That was new.
Toya searched as far in Sekai as he was willing to go, the Cafe, the backstreets, the alleyways, the plaza. Everywhere. Still nobody. Were they hiding from him?
Every-so-often, he could hear the faint sound of giggling and whispering, but every time he checked, nothing would turn up. This was getting disheartening.
That ripple of nausea was back, and it seemed to have an iron grip on his stomach momentarily. It was enough to make Toya stumble and gag, and this whole situation was enough to put him off staying in the Sekai any longer than he had to. He pulled out his phone and left Sekai, bracing himself against a wall as he stumbled out of the portal of polygons.
At least he’d managed to make up his mind on something. He’d get the earrings like Akiyama had suggested, and maybe a box of chocolates too. At least he knew Akito liked sweets.
~~~
By the time Toya had arrived home, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He was somehow more exhausted than yesterday, which was a feat he didn’t know was possible. Luckily, practice had been called off by Akito- maybe he really was sick?- which left Toya with the entire evening to mull over date ideas. Perhaps he should ask his siblings, there was no point just trying what he did last night, as that got him no results.
And so, he made his way up to Saki’s room, and knocked on the door. If she could plan date ideas for her and all three of her partners, surely she could help him out with just his one?
“Come in!” Her sunshine-esque voice called from the other side of the door. Toya cracked it open gently, and peered inside of her room. A small light was emanating from her laptop as she waved him over. She moved it to the side as Toya sat himself on her bed, and from what he could see, it was a moodboard full of school uniform-like clothes. It was probably inspiration for the outfits of her group’s next show.
“Hello Saki… I was just wondering if you could help me with something?” Toya began gingerly. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous, but maybe it had to do with the experience he’d had in Sekai earlier. He still couldn’t shake his feeling of uneasiness.
“Mhm! What is it, Toya-kun?”
“Well, I just came here to ask what you were doing tomorrow? Date-wise, that is.”
Saki looked at him with an air of bewilderment. “Why do you ask? I’m going out with the other members of Leo/Need… but I’m sure you don’t want to come?”
“No- no.” Toya butted in shakily, waving his hands in front of him. “I was more wondering about date ideas? I haven’t got any for Akito and I, and Valentine’s day is tomorrow-”
Saki interrupted him excitedly. “Ah! So you want me to play wingwoman! I can do that no problem Toya-kun.”
A smile graced his face as she continued, she was always so considerate. Unfortunately, he couldn’t help zoning out. Maybe today had taken too much of a toll on him after all. A drunken-like smile crossed his face and glimmered in his eyes as he ‘listened’ to her, and all of her advice went in one ear and out the other.
“So! Which one of my ideas piqued your interest the most?” She questioned, tilting her head like a cuddly puppy. Ah. He probably should have tried a bit harder to pay attention, he did need her help after all.
“The first one?” The lie felt stiff coming off of his tongue, but Saki couldn’t tell the difference.
“Yup, that was my favourite too. That’s why I said it first! I think a movie marathon would be right up your alley, and you could watch those Rom-coms I recommended to you!” Toya internally sighed in relief as his bluff had worked, and not only that, he’d gotten a good recommendation as well. With the anxiety that had been blooming in his chest today, he really didn’t want to risk arranging something big tomorrow, then getting sick and having to cancel.
He thanked Saki for her help, before leaving the room and heading to bed. Sure it was early, but he had a great day ahead of him and he had to be prepared. That included being well rested.
~~~
Well, it was a good thing he hadn’t planned anything big.
Toya woke up, the anxiety he’d experienced yesterday manifesting into physical symptoms. He had one of the worst headaches he’d experienced in a long while, a stomach ache akin to that of a medieval peasant dying of cholera, and a tightness in his chest that he’d only felt when he forgot to take off his binder.
Ah. Oh no.
Toya pulled off the shirt he’d slung on to sleep, and practically ripped the chest garment off, gasping for air. As much as he’d like to say that the release of pressure was a relief, it almost couldn’t be felt.
And his stomach was practically shaking in his abdomen. The only way he was getting any kind of pain relief was by clutching it, as if he was trying to pop it with his bare hands. The groans he made were involuntary, and he was sure the rest of the house could hear him.
And he was right.
His older brother Tsukasa knocked on the door, before bursting into his room with a glass of water.
“Toya?” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, but still retained its caring- almost motherly- air. He sat down on the bed of the writhing boy, not even batting an eye to the fact he was shirtless. Toya should have been surprised at this, but it made sense. They grew up together, and he was probably just more relieved that Toya wasn’t still wearing his binder.
“Saki said you hadn’t looked well, so I came to check on you. You better not have anything planned for today, because as your responsible older brother, it is my duty to not let you go out like this!” Toya cracked a smile open as Tsukasa set the water down on the nightstand, and began to run his fingers gently through his hair.
They stayed like that for a long while, Tsukasa attempting to soothe Toya’s lithe, sweaty, anxiety ridden body with just the gentleness of his hands. Tsukasa broke the silence eventually, getting off the bed, and turning back towards Toya.
“I really have to go, I’m sorry- I’m going to be late for my date with Rui… but if you need anything, I’m just a text away dear brother!” Toya could feel his heart lightening slightly. Tsukasa’s knack for theatrics never failed to amuse him. “Oh, just one other thing quickly before I go.”
Toya’s head perked up.
“I invited Akito over to look after you, he should be here any minute. Okay, bye!!!”
And his anxiety was right back in full swing. As much as Toya longed to feel the touch of Akito’s skin against his once again, he still couldn’t get over the fact that he had nothing for him for Valentine’s Day. (Well, that was a lie, he had the earrings and the chocolate, but for someone as special as Akito, it didn’t feel like enough.)
Toya’s breath became shakier as he pulled himself up, trying to hold back the bile in his throat. He reached for the glass of water, and took long, slow sips, trying to calm his mangled emotions. And then came another knock at the door.
Speak of the devil.
Akito peered into Toya’s room, a bag in his hands, which he quickly pulled behind his back. His face flushed red at Toya’s undressed state, and he tilted his head away.
“Should I wait out here for you to put a shirt on… or-?” Toya shook his head, gesturing for him to come over to the bed. Akito happily obliged, setting the bag down by the door and plonking himself onto Toya’s bed. The two of them interlocked in an embrace so perfect and welcoming that it felt like the final two pieces of a puzzle slotting together.
Akito smelt like his favourite cologne and sweat, and while the latter smell wasn’t exactly Toya’s favourite, it showed that he’d run the whole way here. He was even running to him on their days off school. How sweet.
Akito rubbed Toya’s back carefully, and was met with a groan in response. He really did miss the contact after an entire day apart.
“That bad, huh?” Akito questioned tenderly into the shell of his beloved’s ear.
“It feels like my insides have been whisked together, and I don’t even know why…” He complained with an almost imperceptible pout. Then, he mulled over what he had just said, and shook his head, sighing.
“No, actually. I do know why I feel like this.” Toya said decisively. He was going to tell Akito what he’d been feeling, even if it made Akito see him differently. He pulled away, but their hands were still interlocked.
“Why’s that Tou?”
Toya’s ears went pink at the nickname, before he continued. “It’s actually quite embarrassing, if I’m being truthful.”
Akito’s expression and demeanour remained calm and steady. He looked like the ocean, and while Toya couldn’t swim, he trusted it with all of his might.
“I didn’t plan anything for Valentine’s Day.” Toya blurted out. Akito cocked his head.
“That’s… it? Really?”
“It is, and I know it was selfish of me, but I had to ask other people for ideas, and-” Akito burst out laughing, placing both boy’s foreheads together as he chuckled.
“Oh my god Toya… you’re so adorable, you know that? If you were that worried, you could have just told me, you know? Not everything has to be a surprise, man.”
“Really?” Toya looked visibly wary, had he really gone through all of that for nothing?
“Yes really.” Akito whispered, caressing his jaw. He tilted his head, and the two of them met in a brief kiss, that was obviously initially intended to be longer, but Akito pulled away, spluttering.
“Eugh- sorry- should have expected that…” Akito said, cringing. Toya tilted his head inquisitively, and Akito got the hint. “Go brush your teeth if you want to kiss me, that was straight sulfur.”
Toya’s expression reverted to a flat, unimpressed one as he struggled upwards, fighting between his thumping head and his squeezing stomach to stand up. Noticing his struggle, Akito looped an arm around his waist to help him up, and guided him to the bathroom.
After he was finished brushing his teeth and slinging on a shirt, he shut off the water and turned to Akito, who was sitting on the toilet lid. “Well, also, I had a weird experience in Sekai yesterday that my mind can’t seem to shake.”
“Yeah? Tell me about it, man. It’ll help get it off your chest.” Akito said assuredly, guiding Toya back to his bedroom.
Toya continued as they sat down on the edge of the bed, Akito resting his head on the other’s shoulder. “Well, I went into Sekai yesterday after school, and it felt like everybody was… hiding from me? For example, no matter where I turned, the vocaloids weren’t there. No one was even managing the cafe! It felt like they were all avoiding me.”
Akito paused thoughtfully, before sighing deeply and shaking his head. “You know Toya… I think they were.”
“What?”
“Yup.” Akito nodded his head, before standing up and grabbing the bag by the door. “And I know that sounds mean, but hear me out. You know the way I left school early yesterday, without telling you?”
“I do… yeah.” Toya answered.
“Well, the reason I did that was because I was going to the shopping centre to buy you a Valentine’s Day gift. Once I’d finally found one, I brought it to Sekai with me. The weird thing was, when I got there, only Luka was there, but I didn’t really care. I showed her your gift, but as she was holding it, we heard someone entering Sekai, and we scrambled to hide. We didn’t really think to be honest, and I’m sorry that I hid from you.”
“It’s okay Akito, I appreciate the sentiment.” Toya said fondly. He paused, before gesturing to the bag. “Well, after all of this build up, could I see what’s inside please?”
“Oh- yeah of course dude.” Akito’s face flushed red, and he handed the bag over to Toya. He gratefully accepted it, and began to take off the tissue paper from within the bag. And…
Oh my god.
Toya pulled out a baby blue bunny plush the size of his head out of the bag. It was soft to the touch, and had embroidered black eyes and floppy ears. He stared at it in disbelief, and couldn’t stop the way his excitement bubbled over into his feet kicking slightly.
“Oh Akito… you shouldn’t have. Thank you so much.” Akito gestured to the bag again. Was there more?
Indeed there was, as Toya discovered. He pulled out a bag of his favourite cookies, and one of a specific coffee blend Akito knew he liked. Toya felt like he could cry. “Akito- oh my god.”
“You just mean that much to me, man. It’s okay, honestly.” But Toya barrelled into him anyway, hugging him with the force of a spouse seeing their soldier husband for the first time after a war.
“I love you so much Akito, you have no idea.” Akito kissed the top of his head, stroking his back again.
“I love you too, Tou.”
After enough time had passed for Toya to calm down, and his feet were no longer kicking up a storm, he pulled himself together enough to pull away.
“I got something for you as well, Akito. Do you want to have a look?” Akito’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as Toya reached under the seat for a small bag with shaky hands.
“I thought you said you didn’t do anything for me?” He muttered awe-fully, taking the bag and removing the pristine wrapping paper.
Toya could see the joy with which Akito plucked the earrings out of the bag, and he was definitely speaking, but his brain had long since muffled the words, leaving him in a soft Akito-filled daze. The anxiety was- yet again- back with a vengeance, and while the ferocity of its wrath had ebbed, Toya could feel it attacking his head and stomach again. It was frustrating, having to deal with a mind that attacked its own host. He just wanted the nausea to go away.
“Ah, you’re still not feeling well, huh?” Toya flinched, had Akito always been this perceptive? That was almost impressive.
“Do you want to watch a movie in bed with me?”
~~~
Toya snuggled closer to Akito, wrapping his arms and legs around the boy in front of him, as if he were a koala. He pressed a kiss to his tan neck, and watched the blush rise up his chest. The two of them had turned Toya’s bed into what could only be described as a nest of pillows, and Akito was right in the centre, laptop on his lap, and Toya cocooning him from behind.
Toya’s hands wandered, as they always tended to do. He loved feeling every nook and cranny of the ginger’s body, trying to burn it into his memory. His skin felt safe- in a way. Akito evidently didn’t mind either, reclining back into the touch.
Akito would swivel his head every time the movie would get too awkward, and steal a kiss from Toya’s lips. Sometimes he’d graze the corner of his mouth, and others they’d only pull away because the position was proving sore. Either way, Toya would accept any excuse to kiss Akito.
And that was how they ended up spending the rest of their Valentine’s Day huddled together in Toya’s bed, watching crappy rom-coms (as well as the FNAF movie, as Toya had insisted on explaining the lore once he felt better.) If this was what getting sick on Valentine’s Day was like, Toya wondered if maybe he should do it again next year.