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No- no no no! Shit! He should’ve- No, there’s still time. There has to be. She can’t have disappeared yet, not yet! They haven’t- They haven’t had their last dance… He was pushing himself, he was so out of breath he thought he might collapse. He wouldn’t let himself. Mark had to find her.
The sound of passing cars was drowned out by his own agonizingly loud thoughts. Endless amounts of doubt and flooding his mind like a tsunami. Please. He needed her to be okay. To still be here.
His pace slowed to a stop when something on the ground caught his eye. It was a piece of her costume. The butterfly she wore on her head. It sparked hope inside him. Just a little.
Mark had to keep going, and so he did. Sprinting once more. Two paths laid ahead, it didn't matter which one he took; they all lead to the highway. She had to be there. A familiar voice suddenly made itself heard inside his head.
“Mark..” It- No it couldn’t be… He’d- He accepted her death, he stopped lying to himself.. There was no reason for her to be here- “Keep going Mark..”
“Mom…Is that you.” He missed her. He so desperately missed hearing her voice. He- No. He has to find Cath. He cant…He wont fail. Cath was somewhere. Things were starting to get better, for everyone, he can’t- he won’t let everything fall apart like this.
And so he ran, just like she told him to.
Mark ended up in some construction site, his pace didn’t slow even for a minute. He can’t lose her.
The rain made the ground increasingly hard to run on, each step leaving the risk of slipping but that didn’t deter him either. Soon enough, he found her boots. She came this way. Cathy…!
He was brought else-where, a white void while trapped inside a younger version of himself. Snap out of it. He- He let this go, He accepted it-! So why-
“Mom..?” Mark’s body spoke without his permission, moved without his permission; walking ahead.
“You have to save her.” That voice was so close yet just out of reach, no matter how much he tried to reach out or close the distance.
“Mom!?” He called out. Please. . .He just wanted…
“You’re almost there Mark. You can do this.”
“Almost there?” Did- did she mean almost there to her? His mind couldn't focus on anything else, he just wanted to find her; it had been so long- He missed her..
“You can do this okay? Say it to yourself..”
“Mom!?” He was calling out so desperately. But finally. Finally she was- She was there. She looked just as he remembered her. Standing there. Looking at him with a smile he hasn’t seen in so long..
“Mom!!” He reached out. It had been so long since he’d been able to hold her hand like this. He just wanted… To stay like this, with her here. Why did it have to…End like this. It wasn’t fair.
“Mom. . .”
“Do you remember that bowl of champorado I made you? It was the day you woke up feeling happy.. Because there were no classes, to your surprise.”
“S-Sorry?” His head tilted to the side ever so slightly. Why was she bringing that up? It was so long ago. It didn’t- It didn’t matter now.
“You didn’t get to eat it.”
“Er…” He knew that this was just in his mind, nothing could ever really bring her back could it. It still didn’t explain why she was mentioning that. In all honesty he didn’t really care if it meant he just got to talk to her again.
“You felt really bad it spoiled. And I had to throw it away.”
“I did?” This wasn’t getting any less confusing.
“You kept telling me for weeks you still felt bad about it… Like you had lost a pet.”
“I…I was a kid.”
“You kept blaming yourself for it, but son…I realised it just now. It’s not your fault, really. It’s not. I kept you too busy doing something I wanted you to that I completely forgot you hadn’t eaten yet.”
“What?” This was making less and less sense by the word. His subconscious was weird. Even so, the grip he held on her hand never faltered for even a moment.
“Y-you dont have to explain, Mom. It doesn’t matter now! We need to save her, now!” Cath. He had to save Cath no matter what. His hand went cold when she pulled away without warning. He understood it but he didn’t want…
“Mom..”
“There are somethings you’ll never get to know. And sometimes… You don’t need to be too hard on yourself.” He was tearing up. Out of his control, he didn’t…Didn’t know what she was saying, he just-
“Wh-What are you saying Mom? I-I..”
“Now go Mark.” He didn’t get a chance to say anything else before she spoke. He was doing everything he could to stop himself from crying. “You’re almost there.”
“Mom don’t-” He begged, “Don’t leave me alone! Mom!”
Mark snapped out of it. His running never stopped. He was nearing the highway, she had to be here. Tears fell but he had to ignore them, to keep running. He was so close but he was so…tired. Despite how much he tried, he couldn’t keep himself from stopping, hands falling on his knees.
He can’t stop. Not yet. He wouldn’t…Give up. A minute or so passed and he tried to run again, but ultimately fell.
“No…No I have to…” He muttered, tilting his head up. Across the street… She was there. She was okay, she didn’t disappear. He- He found her in time. It’d be okay. He forced himself up to his feet, unable to stop his tears from raining down.
Cath stood underneath a bus stop, arms out. She was feeling the rain drops fall gently on her arm. Mark couldn’t help but remember when she first did it a while back, It felt like forever ago. He Couldn’t help but grin as he shouted.
“Hey!! Cath!!!” Having ran so far for so long was starting to catch up to him, a lingering ache in his body, and a painful feeling in his throat from shouting previously that didn’t matter at the moment . He had found her.
The rain masked the tears that fell to the ground, but Mark was still clearly able to she was crying as well. He wanted to ask so many questions. Why did she run off? Was she alright? But those could wait just a little bit longer.
“M-Mark?” Her voice broke, arms falling to her side. Tears continued to well up to the point not even the rain could hide it, not that she cared. She wasn’t afraid of crying in front of Mark, or any of her friends really. But ever since he confessed, she’s wanted to be more open to him. He inspired her. “Y-you came all this way, for me? For your last dance?!”
She couldn’t stop a grin forming, it was natural to her. It was…Nice, knowing he came all this way just for her.
“W-What are you doing out here?!” Mark had to ask, a pause between every couple of words as he tried to regain breath in a futile attempt. It was okay though. Since she was okay.
“I-I can explain! I’ll tell you everything!” Her hands waved dismissively. Talking about all of it…Would be hard, but he did it didn’t he? And besides. She had a backup plan in case she chickened out. But she didn’t feel like she would for some strange reason.
Cathy hurriedly started to make her way across the street. He could finally breathe again, how he had taken advantage of such feeling. Something was off though.
Her head turned as a blinding light lit the road ahead. The road she was crossing. The road she decided to go across before looking. His heart sank, and he moved without thinking. This couldn’t be how it ends.
She ran too. The blaring horn of a semi-truck growing ever closer. He had to save her. He was so close. Their hands were inches apart..
“SUNNY!” Listening to her shout was difficult. He was trying his best, couldn’t she see that. It just…Wasn’t working, despite all the time they put in he was struggling so much. His fingers ached, all of this was overwhelming. He wanted out. “...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. But you want to make our friends proud right? They’ve been so excited to see us play. You just have to try a little harder, I believe in you.”
They took it from the top again. There were no mistakes on her part. Why couldn’t he play the violin as good as she does piano? He was trying. He really was, he never tried so hard but the pain..His fingers hurt so much.
The mistakes started again, sooner than last time. Focus escaped him no matter how hard he tried. There was a new tremble to his hands, making his hold on the violin less than steady. Calming down felt impossible. Persisting felt impossible.
“Sunny, we really dont have time for this! …Look, you don’t want to disappoint our friends right? I know you don’t. So come on.” A new, sharp edge was introduced in her voice. It didn’t make playing any easier.
They started again. His hands were trembling too much, pain radiating through them and his fingers. Why didn’t Mari get it?
When it came time for him to start playing. An off pitch note rang out and not even a moment after, piano keys rang out almost as if in pain as Mari slammed down against them repeatedly. Any remnants of patience she had was gone. It felt like the room was closing in on itself, he couldn’t breathe properly. He had to go.
“PLEASE SUNNY JUST FOCUS! You’re not even trying!” Not even trying. He was trying, trying so hard but it didn’t seem to amount to anything. He couldn’t CALM DOWN. He couldn’t PERSIST. Her eyes left the piano to look up at Sunny and as she did, he bolted.
“HEY! Where do you- STOP!” He didn’t oblige, and naturally, she chased after him. They didn’t have the time to be wasting like this. It was only a few hours till the recital and she wasn’t gonna let all their effort go to waste when they’re so close!
By the time she came out, Sunny was at the top of the stairs, violin in hand. But not for long, as it soon came plummeting down to the bottom with a bang as it hit each step. Laying in pieces.
The anger inside had been threatening to flow before. But after what he did? After he threw all their progress down the drain without even a second thought?! It overflowed. Teeth gritting so hard they might break. Hands clenched so hard her knuckles were going white. Mari charged up the stairs to confront Sunny right after.
“SUNNY!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?! ALL THAT TIME WE SPENT IS GONE, ALL THE EFFORT IS GONE! DO YOU EVEN REALISE THAT SUNNY?! THE RECITALIS IN A FEW HOURS SUNNY!”
He couldn’t bare to listen to her shouting. Why? Why wasn’t she understanding or at least trying to. He wasn’t good enough for it, he wasn’t perfect like she wanted him to be. The pressure- It was too much. It was overwhelming. Sunny’s mouth trembled as he tried to speak. The words died in his throat.
“SAY SOMETHING SUNNY! DON’T IGNORE ME!” The shouting never stopped. In a desperate attempt, he tried to dart towards the stairs to escape; she saw what he was trying to do and stopped him. “YOU’RE NOT LEAVING!”
“DON’T YOU KNOW HOW HARD WE ALL WORKED TO GET YOU THAT VIOLIN SUNNY?! AND YOU THREW IT, JUST LIKE THAT! DON’T YOU CARE ABOUT HOW HARD IT WAS FOR US TO GET IT FOR YOU?!” Her voice was even louder now. His failed attempt at leaving just pissed her off more. Sunny so desperately wanted to speak, to get her to at least try how he felt but he was too frozen to speak.
Mari was grabbing his shoulders now; stopping him from even trying again. His attempts at smacking them off were futile, she overpowered him with ease.
“YOU’RE NOT LEAVING TILL YOU SAY SOMETHING SUNNY!” That look she had. He’d never seen her so angry before. It wasn’t his fault, he just couldn’t live up to her standards. He wasn’t perfect like her.
Sunny was STRESSED.
“DO YOU JUST NOT CARE?! ARE YOU THAT SELFISH?!” He just wasn’t enough. THE MISTAKES NEVER STOPPED. HE JUST KEPT MESSING UP! HE JUST WASN’T ENOUGH!
She was pulling on him now. Nothing was working. He couldn’t PERSIST. He couldn’t CALM DOWN. He couldn’t FOCUS.
“YOU’RE NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS!” She just wouldn’t stop. Why wouldnt she just STOP. HE COULDN’T HANDLE IT. IT WAS TOO MUCH!
All this pain was her fault.
She wanted him to be perfect. She couldn’t handle the thought of him being anything BUT perfect. SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS PAIN IN HIS FINGERS.
Something in his expression changed.
“FINALLY GOT SOMETHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!”
…
He shouldn’t have done it.
He didn’t mean to do that.
He wanted to take it all back.
This was his fault. He should’ve just tried harder.
It was an accident..
He tried to REACH OUT.
…
“CATHY!”
“Mari?”
“CATHY PLEASE!”
“Mari…?”