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Not many things upset Lorraine Warren. That is what Ed would say. “Most people would suffer from immense psychological torment if they had to see what she sees.” But there is one thing that she is afraid of. Not exactly afraid of, but afraid of losing. In fact, she is so afraid of losing this that Ed’s words would not be able to save her from spiraling.
Ed.
Ed is her lifeline, her soul, her air.
The feeling of going home after a case with Ed by her side always reminds her that she is the luckiest woman in the world.
That is why this time felt so different.
They had just finished their case and defeated Isla Kastner, but at what cost.
Before Arne Johnson was cursed, David Glatzel was Isla’s first victim. This vibrant little boy slowly disappeared. His family couldn’t even recognize him anymore. David Glatzel was no longer himself but rather a vessel for something evil. Which is why it was no surprise when the evil force came for Ed. Her lifeline, her soul, her air.
When Ed had a heart attack during the exorcism, Lorraine was no longer her calm and aware self. Not even a demon could reach her in that state. When she was on the phone with 911 it felt like she was talking from underwater, no one was there to comfort her. It was always Ed that did that. Even when she didn't ask for it he always knew when she needed care.
She drove in utter silence to the hospital. Actually it was not utter silence, the only sound in the air(not her air) were the gut wrenching sobs that were coming from her mouth.
Nothing could have prepared her to see Ed like that in the hospital. Tubes coming from all different directions were inside of him. The monitor was beeping. The beeping was the only thing reminding her that he was still alive. It was like the beeps were counting down the minutes until something catastrophic would happen. They were annoying, made her head hurt, she just wished that they would go away. Her lifeline was barely alive, and that hurt her more than any demon ever could. Sitting in the hospital in silence was devastating. Wait, silence? What happened to the beeping. The beeps finally disappeared, and all she wanted was for them to come back.
Lorraine doesn’t remember anything after this, only that the beeping stopped. A heartbeat stopped. A blur of doctors coming in yelling things she couldn’t understand. Then the words that would break her came out of the doctor’s mouth. “I’m so sorry, he’s gone.” Ed was wheeled out covered in a white sheet. She wishes they were covered with the sheet on their bed, not a white one that told her that her worst nightmare had come true. Her bed sheet was comforting, it was covered with beautiful florals that made her feel safe. This sheet was white and made her feel sick. God she hated the color white. She wanted to cry, sob, scream, but she felt like she was suffocating. The air wouldn't come in, she couldn’t make a sound. She was empty. For the first time in her life since she met Ed, she was empty.
When she walked into the house for the first time without Ed. Her lifeline, her soul, her air. She was not sobbing as one might expect. She did nothing, because without Ed she did not exist as herself anymore. In her own mind, she was nothing.
She went to sleep that night wrapped in her floral bedsheet. Except it no longer felt safe. That is when she realized it was never the sheet that made her feel safe, it was Ed.