Work Text:
A singular lightbulb in the middle of the room was flickering with yellowish light, disturbing the eyesight with its intensity. The dust particles danced in the air around the room, disappearing when the light turned off. Huge cardboard boxes were sitting on the scratched wooden floor, waiting to be opened and assembled. The white walls made the room feel pathetic, it is a burden to stay in it even for a single second. A thin mattress lay steadily on the floor, waiting to be thrown out of this hell. There is a window, hidden behind a threadbare blanket. Nobody knows how the window looks, it was hiding for ages now. The sun with its rays, the strong soldiers, tried to fight the old piece of cloth. However they still failed. The cramped one-room apartment had seen better days several decades ago.
The greyish embroidery of a spider’s web was seen in the top corner of the room, between the ceiling and two walls. A matte black spider was going up the web, fingering a thin silky line with its long claws. Grabbing it, getting higher and higher. I looked up towards the web and saw a small fly, whose wings were glued to the spider's trap. It tried to escape, however the flies’ efforts were not rewarded. The hunter was getting closer to its lovely dinner, while its prey was getting more tired with each second, ever closer to defeat.
While the spider was getting its reward for its hard work, I heard a roaring sound of a construction site through the paper thin walls of the apartment. It was so loud that it almost left me deaf, which would not make life any better or easier. I moved closer to the window, trying to get a look at that dusty, noisy, people-filled construction site. I took the dirty cloth off the mysterious window, which left a dust storm falling onto me, leading to a sneezing fit and streaming eyes. The stained window, filled with finger prints of previous tenants and a long crack running vertically down the window pane. Such a filthy window was not making it easier to look outside and analyse the world around me.
Moving to a much worse apartment was a tiring experience. Seeing how bad it is makes me even more overwhelmed. I moved away from the window, coming closer to the mattress. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. However, when I looked at that old mattress with stains all over it, and some gray springs poking out of it. It looked like they were warning me not to touch it or even not to come close to the mattress. I needed to throw it out, but I had no strength to do so. Even moving was a challenge.
I just sat on one of the brown cardboard boxes, not even caring how fragile the objects inside were. Next to the ‘chair’ I was sitting on, there was a smaller box with plant leaves poking out of it. This live organism went through everything with me, and is still somehow mentally stronger than me. It survived long car rides, it survived not being watered for weeks and it still does not hate me.
And then I remembered how better our lives were before everything fell apart. How the sky felt brighter on precious days. How the sun was shining brighter. How the floor was clean, with no boxes that needed to be moved around every several months. How my lovely plant had its own place in the house, next to my bed. How all of the windows were open in the day time, letting the sound of the bird songs enter.
Each of the windows had gorgeous curtains framing them, the richness of the fabric being soft to the touch. I remember how the mattress was clean and soft, the linen smelled fresh and always guaranteed me a nice sleep. I would always say “good night” to my plant with emerald leaves moving towards the sunlight.
Days before were much better.
And then I was pushed back from that place, which was mine before, to the reality of harsh life. I continued sitting on the cardboard box, which now had a little dent on the top from my weight pressing down on the cheap cardboard. Looking around the apartment, which is really not mine, costs too much for the conditions it provides. I got up to walk a small circle around this dusty place, that I will need to call home for the next few months. Disappointment filled me.
My eyes finally locked in on my lovely plant, I walked towards it, maneuvering around the boxes. I took it out of the box. A bit of brown earth fell onto the floor, spreading itself about and making quite a mess that I did not care to clean up right now. I put my weathered hand on the soft green leaves, moving it towards the end. The colour of the leaves changed from green to yellow and from yellow to crusty brown. I feel sorry for not providing better.