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It was getting to the point that you hoped neither of them knew you were here, or at least, you wouldn't if there wasn't another voyeur in the closet with you. At least it wasn't making any noise. "Yeah, it was kind of just… You know. Forced." This is terrible in every way. You're kinda an asshole for listening in, aren't you? "So, riding a ferris wheel together, doesn't mean anything?" You hate this. You've always hated this. Why does everything need to mean something? You wanted to be with Noelle.
"Maybe not if it's like.. Just like a forced thing?" Maybe it was forced, but that doesn't mean you weren't close. It doesn't mean that you don't remember it. You remember it clearly, the way Toriel and Rudy exchanged glances as they invited you to go with Noelle on the ride. You were eager until you noticed, frustration bubbling at the unspoken insinuation. You made sure that they wouldn't get the wrong idea.
Ugh, god, they're still flirting. You're making it about you, aren't you? You can't even let yourself just be happy for your friends. Here you are, listening in like a creep, and all you can think about is how you feel. How you miss Noelle, but could never be what she deserves. How much you love Susie, but how that word means everything you can't let it. You can't love anyone. Not the way you're meant to. You've tried, really tried, but you just don't work right.
Susie, at least, doesn't seem to care. You can love her the way you do and you get the sense she'll never ask you to cross a line. To tell her "I love you" while biting back how broken you are. Noelle can make her happy, and she can make Noelle happy. And, if you're lucky, you can stay close to Susie while she has someone to actually care about her. Someone who can handle Noelle, with all her vulnerability and heart. With all the things you lack.
Maybe, you hope, that if things go just right.
They won't even miss you when you ruin their lives.