Work Text:
“Welcome to another day in the manor.” CJ focuses his camera on his brother, who is sprawled over his bed, “It’s morning time.” He whispers into the microphone, “We will be seeing and reporting who is already up and what they are up to.”
He slithers off the bed, “Follow me to the hall.”
CJ crab walks over to him, and both get out in the hall.
CJ zooms in on his face, “Now, we can be certain Dark is already up and working. Let’s go to his office.”
They go over to it and stealthily open the door, filming inside.
Dark is furiously working on paperwork, grumbling about something.
Wilford is leaning against the desk, twirling his mustache, “Darkling, I really don’t see why you always make such a big deal about it if I poke someone with my knife. It’s fun.”
Dark stares up at him, “It’s not fun. It’s murder.”
He waves him off, “Oh, you always with those big, serious words.”
“It’s a serious offense.” Dark retaliates.
“If death were real, I would be in jail.” He nonchalantly states.
Dark goes back to his paperwork, shaking his head, “The only reason you’re not there is because of me.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.” He sharply shouts.
Wilford seemingly ignored the angry tone, “Well, then I should thank you for that.”
“You have no idea how much you should thank me.”
Wilford walks over to him with a glint in his eyes, “And I know a way to thank you.” He winks.
Dark keeps working, “You can thank me by stopping to murder everyone you meet.”
“Now, where’s the fun in that?” He pushes Dark back, who drops his pen in surprise.
He looks up at him, “Will? What are?-”
Wilford cuts him off with a kiss that Dark melts into.
CJ closes the door and turns to RJ, “Well,” RJ shakes his head and looks back to the camera, “I think it’s best if we go and take a look at the others now.”
RJ rolls back away into the hall, “Follow me, Jim.”
Before they can take another step in the hall, they hear a distressed voice coming down the hall.
“Timmy! No! Get back here!”
“Not again!”
They jump out of the way, narrowly avoiding a squirrel with a sprinting King after it.
“Action! Follow King, Jim!”
They run after King, bolting down the hall.
They round the corner and
Boom!
They’re lying on top of one another and shaking their heads.
The Jims look up from the ground and see it’s Google, who looks down at them, unimpressed, seemingly not affected by the two twins crashing into him.
“Oh, hey, Google,” RJ says cheerfully as he gets up, and CJ zooms in on him from the ground.
“Making another report, Jims?” He says smugly.
They nod, “Yeah.” RJ cocks his head, “How do you know?”
“I’m Google. I know everything around this place.”
“Right. But please don’t tell the others. We don’t want them knowing.”
“Of course. May I ask why you two were running like that in the hallway? Not very stealthy in my opinion.”
“We were running after King. He almost ran into us, but we dodged him. He was running after a squirrel, and we wanted to know what was going on.”
“Ah, I see.”
RJ looks around him and asks, “Did you by any chance see where he went?”
Google smiles smugly, “Of course, I did.”
“So, where did he go?”
Google chuckles, “Where is the fun for you two if I just tell you where he went?”
The Jims pout, RJ says, “Aw, come on. Please, just tell us. We’re making a report, and it's important news.”
“I can give you two a hint.”
“Okay.” They nod in unison, enthusiastically.
“He was following a squirrel. So, my bet is to think about where the squirrel would have gone to, where King didn’t want him to.”
RJ cocks his head, “That’s a long riddle.”
“I’m sure you two are smart enough to figure it out. Well, I’m off to my workroom.” Before he fully walks away, he points back, threateningly, “No going there for you two. Or else I will tell the others about the reports.” He walks out of view.
“Got it.” He turns back to the camera, “Now, Jim. What would a squirrel want?”
They stare down, deep in thought.
“Peanut butter.” RJ yells, “To the kitchen, Jim.”
They quickly make their way downstairs and round the kitchen, stealthily rounding it with the camera, seeing a frantic King pulling a frantic squirrel out of a cabinet, “I told you no, Timmy. You have had enough.”
The squirrel is trying to squirm his way out of King's grasp, “No arguing this time. Back to outside for you.”
The squirrel seems to understand and start chirping sadly, “No, no, no. You’re a sweetheart, Timmy. But you’re also a glutton, and I do not want to make you unhealthy. Outside. Tomorrow you can come back.”
King walks outside with him, and after seeing him leave, CJ turns back to RJ, “Just in time. Now, on to the yard.”
They go outside, making sure King is far enough away to not see them.
They duck behind the rosebushes, filming around the yard.
“King has so to see left into the woods. But so to see the prisoner and the adventurer are out here.” RJ points to them, “Zoom in.”
CJ zooms in on Yancy and Illinois, who are lying on the grass, intertwined.
“I told you going out wouldn’t be so bad. And you can’t tell me you didn’t like the trip to the hills last week.”
“Yeah, I guess youse was right. But we can have just as much fun inside. Or, at least on the property.”
Illinois laughs, “Maybe. But, hey, where else would you see Engineer talking so passionately about the stars and his mission for hours?”
“Like he isn’t always talking about his mission. Or his Captain.”
“True, but what about Dark and Wilford out and about? Usually, Dark doesn’t even leave his office without Wilford practically dragging him out of it.”
“As I said, it was fun. Especially with the group like that. But it isn’t like we can’t do something like that here.”
“Like what?”
“Something with the group. Like,” he pauses, “A game night.”
“You think you can get them to play a game together and not get mad at one another?”
“We both know Dark can maintain the peace if it threatens to escalate.”
“I suppose. Maybe you can bring it up at dinner. I’m sure the others would like that idea.”
He nods, “I do that. Sounds fun.”
He lies back down with his head.
CJ films back to RJ, still zoomed in, “That sounds like the parties we used to have. Let’s hope that happens, and that Dark approves of it again.” He smiles.
“Now, let’s see if others are up already.”
They crab walk back inside, “Living room is empty. Let's see if the doctor is in.”
They graciously stumble their way over to the office door, “Be quiet, I can hear the doctor inside.”
RJ creaks open the door and CJ films inside.
“Do I even want to know what happened last night?”
Silver, Ed and Yandere are all sitting next to one another, sporting multiple bruises and scratches.
Dr. Iplier is looking at them, shaking his head, disappointed, “Just tell me.”
“Well,” Silver starts, before Ed quickly cuts him off, “Silver don’t.”
Dr. Iplier turns to Silver, “Just continue.”
“No.” Ed replies.
Dr. Iplier turns back to Ed, “What happened, Ed?” Ed looks down, staying quiet.
Dr. Iplier looks over at Yandere, who has been silent this entire time, “Yandere, you got anything to say?”
Yandere shakes his head.
Dr. Iplier sighs, frustratingly, “Why does no one here have any survival instincts to not get themselves injured?”
“We’re sorry.” Silver says.
RJ closes the door, “Well, what a story. We’ll try to figure out what happened for all you dear viewers out there.”
RJ rolls out, “I think this is all for this morning, folks.”
They make their way back to their room. “We will be sure to keep you all updated on what’s happening here at the manor. See you all on our next report.”