Work Text:
It started the same as any other day. Two laid in their bedroom, alone. They hated alone. They always had.
They wished someone would come in and keep them company, just for five minutes at least. They'd have someone to talk to other than themself. They hated themself. they hated talking to themself, they hated looking at themself, they hated how they didn't do anything to save their missing contestantsー
They couldn't save Gaty.
Her name had started to burn in their mind. A sharp, painful, and bright burn that they couldn't push away. They didn't want to push her away. Gaty was the first person who they identified as a friend since 2009. A friend. No one really knew them as much as she did; they told her everything, things they didn't tell anyone else, they went to her about everything, and now they have no one.
They felt as if they were drowning. There wasn't anything to help distract them from their thoughts, they were completely alone with no one to talk to. They were completely alone.
They looked around their room, not moving from the comfort of their sheets, hoping to find something that would distract themー
They found it.
They looked at the razor blade sitting on top of their bedside table. It sat neatly tucked behind a bag of food they had never eaten, outshining everything else around it. It had been awhile since they last used it- atleast it felt like awhile. It could have been last week, it could have been a couple days ago. It didn't matter anymore, Two didn't want to wait any longer.
They turned to their side and reached out for the blade like it was a bucket of water in a desert. They picked it up off the desk slowly as if it was fragile and placed it in their palm. It felt cold ー Two knew the feeling all too well. They positioned themself upright and stretched out their left arm, holding the blade to their skin.
They stopped.
Something made them feel.. scared? Why were they scared? They had done this practically a hundred times, No one was going to walk in, they didn't care about the pain, so why were they scared?
They took a sharp breath in and brought the blade back to their skin. They swallowed down their feelings as they closed their eyes, and sliced.
Two opened their eyes and looked down at their arm. A thin red line had appeared on their forearm. It wasn't enough.
They sliced again, two lines, and again, three lines, before they knew it they weren't even counting. Pain struck them over & over as they desperately cut at their arm, wincing when they cut too deep. Blood smeared across their forearm like it was paint.
..
Two reached into their drawer and pulled out bandages and tissues and wiped the blood off their arm. The tissue stained red almost immediately. They looked down at their arm. Cuts everywhere. Part of them wished that someone had walked in & stopped them, maybe someone would start to care.
Gaty would care. Gaty would have helped.
Guess it didn't distract them after all.