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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-02-17
Words:
399
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
7
Hits:
35

Ma Beagle gets a podcast

Summary:

In which one of her (I assume) infinity grandkids decides the world needs to hear how funny his Gramma is, and has a plan to sell it.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

If he hadn’t spent half his time in the junkyard, and weren’t smart enough to notice how Gramma reacted to people cringing, well. Back Door probably would’ve when she sneered, “Yer kidding me, right? Why would I waste my time with that?”

He’d had the sense to think this through beforehand, but he started out with, “To embarrass Mark Beaks?”

Gramma Beagle rolled her eyes. “You know damn well that fool doesn’t need anyone’s help with that.” Her eyes narrowed, and her fingers drummed on the chair. “Try again.”

Back Door gave himself a little mental pat on the head at this point as he continued, “Because Glomgold is always listening to this stuff and he’ll call in to tell you all about his next greatest plan so you’ll talk about him?”

Gramma smirked. “And then we know where he is and what he’s doing...”

”...so we can set up to take advantage of whatever stupid plan he has.” Back Door finished. “Well, and also you’re funny as hell sometimes talking about these guys, Gramma, it can’t hurt like. Public relations, gettin’ a jury on the side of whoever’s got arrested recently.”

”Well that depends on how they got arrested, don’t it? Some of the stuff Bigtime comes up with, he deserves the stint in jail.” Gramma rolled her eyes, and gestured to a picture on the wall of Bigtime being dragged away from a tilted tank clearly sinking into the bay. “I mean the thing with the tanks and putting them on inflatable rafts? Where does he get this stuff?”

Now it was Back Door’s turn to roll his eyes. “It was pretty funny watching them go down though. ...where did he even get tanks, anyway?”

“Beats me, that boy goes off on a tear and I never quite know what’s gonna happen. Except it’ll be dumb.” Gramma got up and came over to take a look at his recording equipment. “Anyway. Where do you think we should start here, kid?”

“Oooh, that time Mark Beaks kidnapped two of the Duck kids and was swinging around a tower like some old movie monster!”

“You mean when he told them not to come after him and then made sure that they had to? No one in that family is ever gonna let one of those kids get hurt! Honestly, I’m not sure who’s the bigger moron - him or Bigtime.”

Notes:

Pretty sure Bigtime's plan with the tanks was to float tanks across to the Bin. Why not use the bridge? Because it's a sneak attack, of course! No one will see the tanks if they're floating up to the Bin. (You know he would.)