Chapter Text
Korra allows herself a month.
A month of worried looks exchanged behind her back between her parents and Katara. A month of her breath coming harder than it should, her lungs not quite working like they once did. A month of tracing the scars that encircle her wrists and feeling the matching scars on her ankles rub against the fur of her boots. Sleep hasn’t exactly been easy to find and her appetite has reduced to almost nothing though she works hard to keep both from Master Katara and her parents.
“Korra, you need time to heal,” Katara tells her again at her latest check up.
The old woman has insisted on seeing her every few days since she returned to the South Pole after Jinora’s ceremony two weeks ago, though each one ends the same way; Admitting that Korra, despite everything, is healthier than anyone expected considering she was so close to death a month ago.
“I’ve healed enough,” she replies, the same answer that she’s given at least five times now.
“The Earth kingdom needs me,” Korra continues. She rubs her forehead with her palm, “Dad hasn’t told me everything but I’ve heard enough to know it’s not going great.”
“Tenzen—“
“I know,” Korra interrupts gently but firmly, “He plans on having the Air Nation help where he can but we all know that’s not enough. The Earth Kingdom is massive— you know that better than me! They need the Avatar, they need me.”
Katara sighs as she sits down in a nearby chair.
The healing room they were in seemed so cramped. It wasn’t the same one that she’d once visited during her training with burns or bruises. Instead they were in the royal palace in Wolfcove, in the heart of the city. Her parents had been living close by compound with her for the majority of her life but now that her father was Chief they had an entire wing of the Royal palace to themselves. It almost felt the same as back then with so many eyes watching her from behind helms. The only true difference is that the guards had less silver on their uniforms and lacked the flower symbol of the White Lotus.
Technically she could leave whenever she wanted. She was a grown woman, a bending master, the Avatar; but she wants to be given the ok. She’s run off without approval from than once, and she’ll most likely do it again, but in this case she doesn’t want to sneak out in the middle of the night. She’d often reacted too harshly to her parents' protection before and didn’t want to do it again, not when she has so many nightmares to remind her nightly of how close she and her dad both came to death.
Katara reached out to take Korra’s hand into both of her own. “ I don’t want to give you leave this time time, but that’s simply because I’m worried about you.”
“ Katara—“
“Hush dear,” she says, patting Korra's hand, “Do you think you could keep the fact you’re not sleeping or eating properly from me? Even if I hadn’t taught you since you were small, I’ve known you for two lifetimes now.”
Korra grumbles, “Well, that’s not fair.”
“But,” Katara says wishfully, “I also remember being a young girl and hoping that the Avatar would return to help my people. It was a foolish hope but I wished for it anyway, and look where it led. I’m worried for you, Korra, but as much as I wish it weren’t so; the world needs you and I don’t think you’ll get any better sitting in the South Pole.”
She sat up a little straighter, her grip tightening just a little on a set of familiar hands. “Is that an ok?”
Katara patted her cheek with a fond smile, “ It’s a tentative ok.”
Korra released a loud whoop, “Thank you!” She laughed excitedly, “I was worried you’d keep me here until I had to sneak out!”
The old woman laughs with her. “No, I’m more aware than most how hard it is to keep you where you don’t want to be.”
Then Katara’s eyes turn sad, “But Korra, I need you to listen to me; you must not spread yourself too thin. You’re still recovering and will be for a long while yet. Not to mention the scars that you must now carry with you.”
Korra knows she isn’t talking about the thick round scars that loop around her wrist and ankles nor the round splotches of darkened discolored skin from where the poison entered her body. Those are easy to carry— she’s never cared about the history of her fights that are slowly etching itself onto her skin. Those she has always carried with pride.
But she hasn’t told anyone of the nightmares that leave her shaking and trembling into Naga’s fur in the early hours before sunrise. There’s little point in doing so in her opinion. What advice could anyone give her that she hasn’t heard? What good would come out of speaking of the shadows that wake her? It’s her burden and hers alone.
Besides, eventually the shaking stops. When the sun finally rises to chase the darkness away, she finds it becomes easier to ignore her nightmares.
“You’ve been through so much,” Katara says softly, patting her cheek again fondly, “So take breaks where you can find them and never forget to seek out love and laughter. Being the Avatar can be lonely, don’t make it more so.”
Korra smiles, a little more bashfully than she’d like, "Easier said than done.”
“And when have you ever done the easy thing?” Katara smiles knowingly,“If I remember correctly you do things the hard way just to say you did. Or because you’re being too stubborn to admit defeat.”
Katara pats her cheek again before she stands, “Walk an old woman to her room, will you dear? I’d like to have a meal with you before you leave.”
Korra doesn’t tell her parents what Katara told her until after they’ve finished eating.
Her father doesn’t enjoy using the more extravagant rooms of the royal palace without cause, so they often eat in the smaller rooms within the private wing. Her mother has told her multiple times what each one of the rooms that make up the Royal Palace is called but why each room, that is almost exactly the same as all the others, needs a different name is completely baffling to Korra. What she knows is that this one, a cozy room that is easily the size of the main room of her parents' old hut, is her favorite.
“Katara looked at my injuries again today,” she says as casually as possible.
Her father, about to serve himself a large serving of akutaq, pauses. Her mother, about to no doubt remind him to save some for them, pauses as well.
Korra pauses to be polite while they do that thing they always do when something comes up; they look at each other for a few long moments then turn back to her. Somehow they manage to have an entire conversation without a single word in less than ten seconds.
“And?” Tonraq prompts as he spoons a moderate amount of akutaq into his bowl.
Her mom must have communicated her complaint about leaving some for them as well as whatever else they’d Stare Talked to each other as that was not his normal amount.
Korra watches as he stirs the akutaq more than warranted. It was her father’s favorite treat that was becoming harder to come by in its traditional form but a team of hunters had brought down a whale-seal during the same time as the short harvest season for many of the South Poles wild berries.
“And,” Korra makes sure to get the same amount as her father, not wanting to retrieve a disapproving look from her mom, “She gave me the ok to travel again.”
She looks down into her bowl for a moment but the frozen mixture of whipped whale-seal fat and wild berries isn’t helpful in the slightest. Figures.
“And I think she’s right,” she continues. “I’m needed in the Earth Kingdom,” she stuffs her mouth full of akutaq and mutters around frozen mush, “Or at least what’s left of it.”
“It’s been a month,” Tonraq uselessly reminds her. He’s trying not to broadcast his worry but Korra can see right through it. “Are you sure you’re ready? You were —… your battle with Zaheer was only a month ago.”
Korra feels that familiar rush of annoyance, as it never truly goes away, but it’s easier to manage now. She knows her father means well, she knows he loves her and she knows he just wants to protect her. Truly he’s come just as far as she has in terms of growing ever since the dark days that followed that fateful Glacier Spirits Festival.
Now, at least, he isn’t demanding anything.
“Katara says I’m healed, and honestly… I should have probably left sooner,” she admits softly. “I mean the Earth Kingdom is in pieces, I should have been there the moment I could walk around.”
“ Korra, sweetheart, that’s not true,” her mom interjects, “You were healing! You still are, even if Master Katara thinks you’re ready for travel. Afterall, did she say you were fully healed or simply healed enough to get back to your duties?”
Korra opens her mouth.
“And don’t lie to me.”
Korra closes her mouth.
After a moment her father sighs. “I don’t like it. In fact, I hate it. I know that the Avatar’s work is never truly done, I know that, but I wish desperately that you had time to fully rest without the world needing you.”
He takes too big a bite of akutaq and then has to hide his wince as the cold hits his head, which makes her smile a little. He always ends up doing that and it’s so clear that she gets her habit of not thinking things through from him.
“But I won’t stop you,” he says as Senna reaches for Korra’s hand, nodding her agreement as she did.“I will support you any way that I can, both as your father and as your chief.”
Korra tightens her grip on her mother’s hand for a moment before deciding that isn’t enough so she stands up to hug them both, “I love you guys so much.”
She settles back down when the required reciprocating comments of love are returned and her parents hug her back.
“Have you gotten news from the Earth Kingdom?” Korra asks, returning to her akutaq with renewed enthusiasm with the hard part of this conversation out of the way.
“Some, but not much. I assume you’ll be returning to Republic City to make plans with Tenzin?”
She sighs, “ I’m not sure? I mean, he’s pushing for the Air Nation to help out with getting supplies to refugees and villages, which is great!, But I also know that’s not what I, the Avatar, need to do. I need to fix the problem, not just help out.”
Her mom has decided that the rest of the akutaq is hers, which Korra supposes is fair. “That’s easier said than done, sweetheart. From what we’ve heard they’re having a hard time finding someone to actually set up to a leadership position.”
“There’s a prince isn’t there?” Korra racks her brain for a name but she’s not as familiar with the branches of the Earth Kingdom royal family as the other nations.
Probably because she’s either related or has strong connections with most other royal families.
Tonraq nods, “Earth Queen Hou-Ting has a great-nephew about your age who’d been in Republic City at the time of her death. But according to Raiko there are concerns about his safety.”
Korra frowns, tapping the edge of her spoon against her bowl. “His safety? From what ? I mean I know that the queen wasn’t the most popular around but Zaheer and the Red Lotus are gone.”
Her father shrugs, “There has been talk of riots and bandits, or they might just fear assassins but honestly I think the boy isn’t able to handle it. Raiko didn’t even seem to consider him an option for leading the nation.”
“And he’s just… fine with that?”
“Not everyone has such a strong desire to fulfill their duties as you do,” Senna points out.
“Or Raiko doesn’t want to risk the royal he has,” her dad grumbles. “Either way, no one has agreed on who exactly the other nations should be backing in this mess. More than a few earth generals have sprung up clamoring for the position but it’s clear already that they’re uninterested in doing anything other than securing their own power.”
“Agh,” Korra groans. “No one good has stepped up? No one? I don’t have time to figure out who is the best of the worst.”
Tonraq leans back in his chair, his bowl empty. Korra doesn’t miss him eying Senna’s bowl which she smacks him on the hand for before he can actually reach for it.
“I did receive word today that Captain Kuvira has arrived in Ba Sing Se with most of Zaofu’s security force,” he says after he shoots a pout at his wife, “I don’t know the exact political landscape but if I had to pick somewhere to start, I’d highly consider her.”
Kuvira…. Kuvira…. Has Korra met a Kuvira?
“Oh!” Korra snaps her fingers, “She’s the one that caught you during our battle with Zaheer, isn’t she?”
“Yes, though I didn’t get a chance to speak with her for long.” He scratches at his chin in thought. “According to what I learned, she’s acting independently of Suyin Beifong’s orders as she’d refused to get involved after Raiko and Tenzin put her forward as a candidate.”
Korra frowns again, “Su didn’t want to help the Earth Kingdom?”
“I believe Tenzin said she had ‘moral objections’ to the idea,” Tonraq says, the idea clearly mystifying him.
He shook his head, “But the captain seemed capable, from what I saw. Raiko and the other world leaders want to remain neutral until they know for sure who they should back in bringing order but I’d be willing to try and give her the support of the Water Tribe, if she needs it. It’s the least I can do.”
Korra shrugs, “It’s something, at least. Spirits know I have to start somewhere.”
There had been a long, long time where Naga had been her only friend and the polar bear dog had always been a steadfast companion to her, loyal and loving.
But….
“Maybe I should get a sky bison,” Korra mutters as she lays against Naga’s warm furry side.
Naga huffs and flicks her long tail into her face, which makes Korra hack out a laugh, but she’s quickly calmed by Korra sharing half of the strip of jerky she’d been snacking on.
Her accommodations were better than when she’d sneaked away to Republic City, but not by much. Her father had asked around for her with the merchants and one ship was more than happy to take her along on their voyage to Chameleon Bay. It was a mid-sized ship that often carried passengers, at least, but Korra rejected the larger, nicer room Captain Yano offered due to the lower deck not being accessible to Naga.
Normally she wouldn’t have minded. There was plenty of covering on the upper deck for Naga to sleep or rest under but the idea of waking after her nightmares with no one around… no, this tiny room that once clearly been an extra storage room that had been hastily transformed into a bedroom would be much much better.
She’ll be on this ship for a little over a week. The trip to Ba Sing Se is technically longer though Chameleon Bay than if she’d gone straight up to enter though Full Moon Bay but the next ship going that way wouldn’t be leaving for at least another week.
And she couldn’t wait that long. Her room at the Royal Palace was starting to feel more like a jail cell each morning. The few letters she’s received during her recovery from her friends, each one of them detailing what great things they’ve started to do in the last month, were starting to hurt more than soothe.
This path had the added benefit of the fact she’d have to travel up river from Chameleon Bay by herself.
Sometimes she forgets that there is so much of the world that she’s never seen. She hadn't truly gotten to see the Earth Kingdom in those short few weeks of finding the new airbenders, only experiencing a few small villages and towns. Even her stop in Ba Sing Se was so short that she never made it out of the Upper Ring. The only other place besides the South Pole she’d been able to truly experience was Republic City, before she’d been tossed out, but that was such a small piece of the world.
Korra closes her eyes, letting Naha’s warm fur and strong heartbeat soothe her fast beating heart. Falling to sleep has started to become a problem recently as no matter what she tells herself, her body now knows that sleep means fear and reliving old wounds.
“I hope this thing with Kuvira works out,” Korra muttered sleepily into white fur. “I need something to finally go my way.”