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“WHAT’S UP EVERYO-”
His phone wobbles in the loose hold of his old selfie stick before falling, plopping onto dead leaves and mud.
“Oh for fucks sake.”
Gakupo quickly picks it up with two fingers, scrunching his nose before shaking the debris off, groaning to himself. He looks at the selfie stick in his other hand and retracts it to put it into his pocket.
“Piece of shit.”
He stopped the recording and played it back. His exaggerated tone rang through the speaker, the grainy footage showed him standing in front of the site, neon sign flickering in the distance before the audio cut out with a crackle and the video ended with the camera pointing up at the night sky. He really wants a GoPro.
He sighs tiredly before vigorously wiping his thumb over the phone lens, and presses the record button once again.
“WHAT'S UP EVERYONE. WELCOME BACK TO MY CHANNEL. GUYS, it is currently THREE AM and I’m standing RIGHT outside of the REAL KAITO FAZBEAR'S PIZZERIA, AT THREE AM!!!!!”
Gakupo already wanted to go home. But he needs to upload on a schedule if he wants daddy Youtube algorithm to show his content to the five year old ipad kids.
“WE ARE GONNA HEAD INSIDE TO FIND OUT IF KAITO FAZBEAR. IS. REAL!!! But GUYS, I'm like, literally SCAREDMAXXING RIGHT NOW. Should I ACTUALLY GO INSIDE?!?!??
Gakupo pauses to think of where he can go from here.
“NOD YOUR HEAD IF YOU VOTE YES.”
He moves his phone up and down.
As the unanimous vote is yes. He begins the trek inside of the old building.
He takes its condition in as he nears the entrance. Broken windows, chipping paint, faded signs and a faintly blinking neon sign. Gakupo had to do some research before coming here.
This restaurant became infamous after the disappearances of local townsfolk, with all traces leading to it. The cases have long since gone cold, but according to internet urban legend, the perpetrators were the ‘possessed’ animatronics owned by the establishment. They call it the bite of ‘67.
Obviously, Gakupo has left make-believe in the past. He’s only running this channel because the stupid stock market crashed like crazy some time ago and he lost all his bitcoin, putting him 67 trillion rupaul dollars in debt. Anything to pay for this fuckass computer science degree atp. He’s gonna be unemployed for the rest of his life.
The front door squeaks open, scraping against rough tile, and he steps inside, turning his flashlight on.
“Guys, it’s like, surprisingly not even that cold. I’d say it’s like 67 degrees fahrenheit in here.”
The light disappears into the pitch black corridor, illuminating nothing ahead apart from the suspended dust in the stagnant air, and he takes slow steps, one by one, further down. He points the camera to himself.
“It’s lowkenuinely so dark in here guys, Kaito could be anywhere…Honestly though, I’d be able to one-shot him if he does decide to throw hands, heh…dattebayo…”
He flexes his gains for dramatic effect.
A crash.
“AHHHHHHHHHH IM GONNA DIE AHHHHHHHH” Gakupo says calmly as he snaps the flashlight in the direction of the noise.
The light reveals a rat scurrying away from a knocked over metal bucket. Thank god he didn’t overreact, that’ll make his unplanned ad-lib easier to edit out.
He continues walking before reaching another door.
On the other side is what seems to be a dining room, a large one, white cloth adorned tables arranged like graves along a black and white checkered floor. Party hats aligned perfectly down the centre of each. Strange. Isn’t this place abandoned?
But what caught his attention the most was the stage. Positioned at the very top of the room. Large speakers were posted up at either end and a lone mic stand stood in between, the whole scene framed by red curtains.
But nothing out of the ordinary. No murderers, no ghosts, not even animatronics.
Stepping across the threshold, he steps around the tables, looking around, and onto the stage.
“GUYS, this HAS to be where all those kids went missinggggguhhhhhhh” His voice echoed off faded walls.
He feels like wrapping this up soon, he’ll just add more sound effects when he gets home. The video is only just over five minutes by now, but he can use it to farm views on Youtube shorts anyways. Oh, he should get a shot of himself getting ‘chased’ out though.
He begins to turn around to do just that.
“GUYS. I lowkirkenuinely think I hear someth-”
He comes face to face with a pair of eyes.
“RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Gakupo yells while soiling himself on the spot.
Around the table corners, hurdle over the rest. Don’t look back.
Fling the door open. There’s no time to shut it behind him. He can’t feel his limbs.
Down the hallway. He can see the exit, but the corridor keeps getting longer, and longer.
Don’t listen to the footsteps.
Gakupo trips over something metallic with a clang, and lands onto his stomach, skidding across the floor, ruining his favourite Rainbowdash shirt in the process.
The adrenaline pumping through his body screams at him to move, but his nerves lock his body in place. He looks to the side and sees that bucket from earlier rolling into his line of sight, taunting him. Fucker.
Heavy, iron footsteps stop in front of him, he doesn’t dare move his eyes back to face them. He feels worthless, he feels ugly, he feels gay.
He feels like he’s gonna die.
He’s gonna die and it’s because of bitcoin and a bucket.
He doesn’t know what, or who this thing is yet. But doesn’t want to think about it too hard either for fear that he already knows the answer.
“Hello!”
A soft, bubbly voice comes from above him.
Huh?
That didn’t sound like a man-eating machine.
He gathers the remaining strength he has to push down his terror and crane his neck upwards.
Although its glowing eyes combined with the dimness of the hallway conceal its face, there's just enough light shining in from the entrance to make out the body to the voice, he reluctantly takes the figure in, raking his eyes from the bottom up.
Black dress pants sit snugly on softly curved thighs, a sleek, perfectly fitted pinstriped waistcoat hug its small waist, and from this angle, he gets an eyeful of underboob.
Gakupo needs to choose his next words very carefully.
“BOMBOCLATTTTTT!!!” Gakupo screams at the top of his lungs while soiling his pants again.
Robot fine shyt leans down with a worried look, hands resting on its knees for support. Thank god he doesn’t seem to have smell detectors built in. He reaches a hand out to Gakupo, finally allowing light to cast over his face.
He takes in the creature’s blue hair and the cute mini top hat sitting on top. Strangely enough, the creature isn't nearly as scary when he can actually see his face. In fact, he's kind of pretty. Really pretty.
Wait.
Blue hair, top hat, huge knockers.
He's suddenly hit with a wave of recognition as he finishes taking in the other’s features. Kaito. The supposed ringleader in this whole thing. He has the realisation that he should definitely still be running for his life, but besides the slightly glow in the dark eyes and metal shine of his skin, he looks just like a man. Not at all like the hulking, intimidating, man-eating machine that could tear someone apart in cold blood, like he saw depicted in the rule thirty fou- instagram fanarts.
“Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?”
Gakupo accepts the animatronic’s help without thinking, standing up. He can’t stop staring. He needs to get a grip. Their first interaction so far has ended in Gakupo near tears on the floor. He can't stop being wary of him just because he's a hot twunk. But he also doesn’t want to know what will happen if he makes another dash for the door.
The animatronic isn’t actively trying to murder him right now, and he doesn’t want to give him a reason to. He just needs to calm down and try to stay on this guy’s good side…and maybe take a shower with him.
“Uhhhhhh yeah, no- I’m ok. You just…surprised me…is all…” Gakupo trails awkwardly. God, he’s fucking this up already. He needs to step up his game if he wants to make a good impression.
Fuck it, might as well shoot his shot, man eating machine or not. He can either die trying to bag a ten or die getting his computer science degree, and he’d much rather die happy thank you very much.
He tries to conjure up the smoothest, most toe curling pickup line possible. It would be really helpful if he had his trusty thinking cap (fedora) right now. He needs the spirit of tiktok user smoothpapi to possess him. Come on...think, Gakupo!
URETHRA!! He’s got this after all!
Mission jump this guy's bones…Is a go!
Okay…here goes…heh, well everything he guesses!
“...Damn girl, you fart with that ass!!!????”
…
The robot’s brows furrow in confusion.
“Who's Thatass? I don’t fart with him.”
ABORT. ABORT MISSION.
The conversation falls silent and Gakupo can feel the aura points leaving his person as the seconds tick by. He’s just performed the fumble of the century. It was like DJ Khaled. The biggest and the fastest. God this is awkward. This is why Gumi left his ass. He nervously blinks back up at the blue haired animatronic’s face to gauge his reaction.
And, it's not looking good. An odd expression overtakes his features as he avoids Gakupo's gaze, all the while hesitantly glancing back at him every few seconds. He can see the gears turning in the robot's head.
“Well…anyways, I'm Kaito. And you are…?”
Thank god, an out.
“Uhhhhh- Gakupo! It’s Gakupo. Um… sorry for…intruding in on your place?
Kaito gives him a small but pretty smile, one that makes his eyes squint slightly. Fucking hell, did they program him to be cute?
“Not at all! It’s been a while since I’ve had company as um…friendly as you. That’s why I got so carried away there”
He chuckles to himself before his smile turns somber.
“You’re actually the first person in years who’s come in and talked to me instead of try to kill me!”
Now that he thinks about it, there’s been no sign of the other animatronics who’re supposed to be in here. Miku, Meiko, Luka, and those twins. Where are they? And kill him? What does he mean by that?
“What do you mean by tha-”
Before he can get the words out, there’s shouts coming from outside, followed by the entrance bursting open. Several torch beams shine in and one of them lands square on Kaito’s face.
“THERE HE IS! GET HIM BOYS!”
“What the fu-”
A gunshot, and he feels rather than sees a bullet missing his ear by what must’ve been a centimetre. He’s too petrified to move. He should have just stayed home and finished that coding assignment instead, fuck his Youtube career.
But he’s suddenly being yanked by the arm away from the angry mob, and he’s running down the dark hallway with Kaito. He hears bullets ricochetting off the walls behind him.
“Come on!”
Gakupo is very thankful that Kaito seems to know his way around the pizzeria better than those men, and that he also seems to have night vision, as evident in the way he turns around the corners smoothly and with a familiarity.
They lose them soon enough, and when the shouts become distant, Kaito brings them to a halt. He hears a door open and he’s being pushed inside a tiny room, hard enough that he falls onto his ass.
He then hears the door being closed gently and a weight falling onto his lap.
Kaito’s eyes turn on again - Gakupo didn’t even notice when he shut them off in the midst of the chaos - and illuminate what seems to be a cramped janitor’s closet. It’s so cramped in fact, that Kaito is straddling him.
Kaito has his arms around his shoulders, he can feel his thighs squeezing his waist (he knew they’d be soft), and the weight of his ass sitting right on top of his dick. Looking down, the buttons of Kaito’s shirt strain tightly across his chest, his fitted waistcoat not helping matters at all.
His dick is gonna start bonermaxxing soon if he keeps thinking about their current position. But if he just leaned in one more inch he’d be able to-
“What are you looking at”
“They’re hug- I mean, I really like your cravat”
“It’s a bowtie”
“Oh.”
That was a great save, he can admit. Gakupo feels really proud of himself.
The feeling doesn’t last long as he hears another gunshot fire in the distance.
“What the hell is going on, who are those guys?”
Kaito looks away from him, dejected.
“They’ve been coming here for years ever since the children from this town began to go missing”
He pauses as his eyes begin to well up, and he lets out a shaky breath.
“I swear we had nothing to do with it. I have no idea where those children went, but the blame somehow fell on us and…and now, I’m the only one left here”
So that’s what happened to his friends. On top of that, none of those stories online had been true? One look at Kaito’s face tells him that the animatronic is telling the truth. Gakupo feels a pang of sympathy for him, but most of all, anger. He has no idea how, but he will avenge the Fazgang.
As much as it hurts him, he gently pries Kaito off of him and reaches for the closet door. Kaito reaches out after him
“Wait. What are you doing!? You can’t go out there, those guys will shoot anything they see!”
Gakupo smirks, anime style.
“Not to worry kitten, daddy has a plan.”
“But I don’t have a father”
Daddy does not have a plan. But he’s going to do whatever he can to free Kaito of these assholes…and maybe get that shower with him, freaky style.
He stands out in the hallway, bracing himself for what he’s about to do. Kaito watches him from the closet looking increasingly worried.
He’s scared shitless right now, but at the same time, he’s never been more sure about anything in his life.
You stay safe Kaito, 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚. Gakupo thinks to himself.
“OVER HERE MOTHERFUCKERS”
A second passes, and the mob appears. They stand facing each other in tense silence at either end of the hall. Gakupo glares them down, meanwhile the men look at each other perplexed, before beginning to question him.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Ugh, did he shit himself or something? I can smell it from here bro”
“Isn’t that the ‘purple guy’ they were talking about?”
"YOUR ASS IS MINE KAITO"
The man standing at the forefront of the gang raises a hand and they fall silent. He looks up at Gakupo with a challenging grin.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here? OHHHH BOOOOYYYS”
The mob begins to slowly stalk towards Gakupo, clicking their fingers in unison. Dammit, why didn’t he think of pulling that move first?
As they start to close in on him, a large, ominous mass of muscular bodies and bald heads, Gakupo can feel himself rapidly running out of options. He can’t let himself get slimed out in 4k like this in front of Kaito, and he can’t let him down after he basically gave away his location. He needs to think, and fast.
Wait.
“I…have…AN IDEAAAA” Gakupo yells out Grug style.
He takes off his rainbow propeller hat and throws it on the floor. He won’t need it for what he’s about to do. Now, he just has to wait for them to get close enough.
And once they did, with a dramatic swing of his head, his ponytail whips out in front of him and snatches the machine gun right out of the front man's grasp. Good thing he finally showered last night, otherwise the grease would have made it slip right out of his hair.
As he stands upright again, the gun lands right into his hands. He points it at them.
“Call me machine gun kelly the way I’m about to machine gun kill you guys”
“FUCK-”
Before they have time to react, Gakupo unloads the gun on them, and doesn’t stop until the magazine is empty and pulling the trigger only produces a clicking sound. Sorry guys, but Kaito's ah is HIS.
The hall is a gory, visceral mess by the time he drops the gun, a peaceful quiet falling over the hallway. Gakupo stands there, out of breath and covered head to toe in blood.
“They’re gone”
Gakupo is jerked out of his reverie at Kaito’s voice. He stands in front of the janitor’s closet, staring wide-eyed at the bodies painting the checkered floor.
“Uhhh, yeah, I think that’s all of them, or at least I hope s-”
He feels Kaito’s arms around his neck before he sees him coming. He stands unmoving, in shock, but then his own arms automatically find their way around Kaito’s waist. The hug is warm and comfortable, and the feeling of Kaito’s chest squished against his own is making the numbness in his fingers go away.
Much to his disappointment, Kaito eventually pulls his head away from his shoulder. But Kaito just stares up at him, smiling.
Gakupo is about to ask him what’s wrong when Kaito leans in once again.
Oh god.
He’s kissing him right now. He’s getting a kiss from Kaito. Fuck, wait, he needs to kiss back.
He closes his eyes and leans into it, pulling the other closer to him by the grip he has on his waist. The kiss is slow and deep, and is also making him feel things again.
Kaito is looking at Gakupo with a blush and half lidded eyes when he pulls away this time.
“Thank you” he mumbles quietly.
“Anything for you, kitten, dattebayo”
The moment is interrupted when Kaito’s brows furrow suddenly and he looks down between them and scoffs.
“You’re such a virgin”
“Heh, boner alert!”
Kaito just sighs and gives him an incredulous look.
“...Just come with me”
“Why? Where are we going?”
Kaito takes his hand and begins to lead them back towards the janitor’s closet.