Chapter Text
Shane woke up after getting a hard hit with an elbow in his game-bruised rips, gasping for air for a moment before gaining clarity. He’s in his own bed, the one he shares with his husband for over two years now. The elbow belongs to Ilya, Ilya who is tossing his head from side to side, while uttering incomprehensible and non-cohered words in Russian. It took Shane a moment to realize his husband is having a nightmare. Carefully he is sitting up and cupping Ilya's face. “Hey baby, wake up, you’re dreaming.” are his first quiet words with one hand on the cheek and the other caressing his husband's wild locks. Instead of waking up Ilya sobs loud, one lonely tear falling directly on Shane's thumb.
“Ilyusha please wake up, you’re dreaming.” He lets out, this time forcefully, with more pressure and Ilya opens his eyes wide, in a total shock. “Shane.” Is the only word falling from Ilya's lips while sobbing uncontrollably now. “There you are baby, it was a nightmare. Come here.” He knew better than saying it was ‘just’ a nightmare. He had enough of them in his youth to know there is no thing as ‘just’ a nightmare. They are haunting, far too realistic and can shake you through.
Shane is placing himself a little more upright against the headboard, while pulling Ilya against his warm chest, head placed over Shane's steady beating heart. He doesn't care about his still hurting rips, the only thing hurting him is his husband's pain. Ilya feels his husband's big arm slinging around him, pressing him half in Shane’s side, half on top of him. He feels small kisses on top of his head, grounding him further in Shane’s safe orbit. His husband's hand slowly drew small circles on his back, the other carefully caressing the back of his head, his mouth murmuring reassuring words of affection on top of his head.
After crying and sobbing on his husband's firm chest for what feels like hours, Ilya slowly lifts his head to see Shane's dark eyes in the dim light of the dawning morning. He’s wrung out, but also ashamed of himself. He never had nightmares while being in the same bed as shame. Sure not every dream he had was nice and fluffy, some were dark and twisted, but never to this extent. Shane's eyes show nothing but love, affection and care, causing Ilya to sob again and burying his face in Shane' s chest once more. Closing his eyes he sees pictures of the nightmare so clear it scares him.
The door to his mom’s office is open, like always in his dreams. She looks exactly like Ilya remembers her. Her blonde locks up in a bun, blue and normally intense eyes, sadness on her face. His eyes zoom in on hers, they are empty and cold, his gaze wandering to her loose and tensionless arms hanging by her side. She’s laying on the same couch he found her on, an empty pill bottle on the floor. This dream is nothing new to him, sure it’s a bad dream but it’s also blunted after dreaming it for almost two decades. His gaze wanders back to her hair and with shock he realizes the blonde locks are gone, replaced by shorter, darker and straighter hair. His eyes moving on to the face, he feels like drowning in an instant. Blue eyes superseded by soft, brown ones. Freckles on the bridge of the nose between the eyes he loves to lose himself in for all those years. It’s this moment he realizes what’s happening in front of him. It’s not his mom in front of him. It’s Shane, his Shane, his husband who he loves more than life itself. While everything else is the same as always, the person in front of him is not. He’s trying to move, get to Shane, try to walk, to just scream his husband's name, but his body isn’t listening.
After a while Shane can feel Ilya relaxing against him, his breath coming calmer yet halting. “You want to talk about it, малыш?” Baby. He nods and opens his mouth, but no words coming out of his mouth, so he shuts it again. Trying to inhale fresh air and Shane's smell he inhales deeply, closing his eyes and regretting it instantly. Pictures of Shane's limp body exploding in his mind. “Shh baby, I’m here. You see your nightmare every time you close your eyes?” Ilya just nods small, merely recognizable. Both of his hands found Ilya's locks, drawing small circles, the other on his husband’s chin, tilting it slightly upwards to place a kiss on Ilya's forehead, letting his lips rest against the damp skin of his love.
Remembering the words of his dad, a plan is forming in Shane's brain. He himself had his fair share of nightmares in his youth, especially in times of change. As a small boy, around five or six years old, he remembers standing in front of his parent’s bed, always on David's side. He woke up his dad after dreaming of some bullshit he can’t remember now. His dad consoled him before offering him a super-secret and always working cure against nightmares. He made it sound like a special family secret or something like that and Shane listened to him like his dad was a superhero, explaining how to save the world. And probably David Hollander was exactly this at this moment. ‘Do you know why we have nightmares?’ David asked and Shane shook his head. ‘Your body is trying to express one of three things. You’re either thirsty, cold or you need to pee.’ His dad explained, like it was an easy fix. ‘So now we’re going in the kitchen, drinking some water, then you go pee and after that I’m tucking you in, so you’re warm and cozy, okay? You always need to do all three steps if you have a nightmare and you will see, no more nightmares tonight.’ They executed Davids’ plan that night and after being tucked in and his dad speaking softly to him Shane drove off in a deep, dreamless sleep. No nightmares that night, like David promised. The nightmares afterwards Shane fought mostly alone, with his fool proof and super-secret three step plan.
The rational part of his brain knows now that these three options are not the reason somebody experience a nightmare, but he still follows this plan on the rare occasion he’s having a nightmare. Most likely these steps just help you to get out of the spiral in your head. Giving you something else to focus on. “Okay Ilyusha, I have a three-step masterplan against nightmares. You know it’s just your body telling you one of three things.” Shane whispers softly in Ilya's hair. And Ilya is letting out a small half sob, half chuckle. Of course, his husband has a three-step plan, he always has a plan. “You’re either thirsty, cold or you need to pee. We will go down in the kitchen getting our bodies rehydrated, then you will go pee and after that we will cuddle again under this super cozy and warm duvet, okay?” Ilya's brain is still in a daze, so he nods slowly, still trying to process the plan his husband curated for him. “Okay baby, then come on. The faster we start, the faster I can cuddle you again.” Shane speaks, louder this time, but still so soft like he’s afraid of scaring Ilya. Ilya detaches himself slowly from Shane and Shane is careful to not lose physical contact completely.
“So. This sounds like a Yuna Hollander plan.”, mumbles Ilya while exiting the bathroom and walking straight in Shane's arms, who waited for him. He followed every step of his husband's plan and is now ready to go back to bed. Shane chuckles. “Actually, it’s a David Hollander original.” “Hmm, Hollanders and their plans.” Ilya utters hugging him, while letting his full body weight sack against the warm body in front of him. Shane's arms strong and safe around him, he inhales deeply. “Let’s get you back under the covers, мой любимый муж.” My beloved husband. Shane lifts Ilya easily with one arm around his husband's hips, the other coming to one of his thighs, signaling Ilya to wrap them around him. Ilya could have contradicted, he could have insisted on walking on his own, but he simply doesn't want to be on his own feet right now.
Wrapped up in his husband's arms, tangled legs and the soft duvet Ilya feels safe and secure. “Sleep. I’ll keep you safe, ой любимый.” My darling. Shane's whispered words linger like a warm promise.
A few hours later Ilya wakes up, still wrapped in the blanket and his back softly pressed against his husband's front. His heart is flooded with gratitude and love. “Morning, my love.” mutters Shane against his neck and Ilya can’t stop a little smile creeping its way on his face. He snuggles himself deeper in Shane's embrace as an answer, not ready to face the world just now.