Chapter Text
Zro tossed the tapes into the fire pit. “That should get rid of them!”
Zero pushed him out of the way. “H-hey! What are you doing?!” He grabbed one out the fire. “This is when you almost won that game show!”
Zro snatched it and tossed it back in. “I know.” He spoke with heavy venom.
“But those tapes are great!” Another Zero ran down the stairs. “Noooooo!” He fell to his knees, tossing his arms into the air dramatically.
“Serves you right!” Zro fixed his hat. “I should've gotten rid of these a long time ago!”
“You put our good tapes in here too,” the first Zero exclaimed. He pulled out a tape. “Like this one, when we saved all those poor animals. And when we won the spelling bee. And...”
Zro grabbed the tapes from him and tossed them back into the fire. “Stop that! It's about time you stop making fun of me! I'm the reason everyone's not dead! Remember when I stopped Two-Thousand-Seven-Hundred-and-Sixty-Three? You would've died if not for me!”
“Yeah, you probably made them laugh too hard,” a third Zero mocked.
“Well, it's a new year.” The first Zero pat his head, ruffling his hat and nearly knocking it off. “You can make a goal to not be embarrassing.”
“Or awkward,” the second added.
“Or weird!” The third smiled.
Zro fixed his hat again, glaring at the three of them. “I have a goal all right, but it's not any of those. I think I'm perfectly fine, it's you guys that are the problem!”
“...You put tracking chips in people.”
“And it saved our butts!”
The first Zero wrapped his arm around Zro's shoulders. “If you have a goal, why not tell us? You don't have one, do you?”
“I-I do!”
“What is it?” The second asked. “Mine is to eat as many sweets I can this year. I'll eat a million!”
The third clapped happily. “And I'm gonna win every game show, including that weird beefy die show Four watched!”
The first Zero smiled smugly at Zro. “And I'm going to go on a road trip around the galaxy. So...what's yours?”
“I-I...” Zro stuttered.
“Well?” The three leaned in closer.
“I...”
The first laughed. “I knew it, he doesn't have anything! He's as much as a failure as always!”
“I'm not a failure!”
“Sure you aren't! Then all those tapes...aren't you?” He motioned a hand towards the burning pile. “You fail everything! I'd bet Two-Thousand-Six-Hundred-and-Seventy-Three died from laughing at you, just like Zero said.”
“Right?” The third gasped. “I'll bet he forgot it was New Year's today!”
“Considering him, yeah.” The second shrugged. “But that's just Zero for you. He's pathetic, isn't he?”
Zro shoved Zero off him. “I have a goal alright! And-and it's...” He looked between the three of them. “I'm gonna date Fifteen!” He slapped his hands over his mouth, face flushing red.
The first Zero got surprisingly serious. “You're going to...date Fifteen? The aggressive recluse? The one you have a huge crush one, who probably doesn't even know you exist? That Fifteen?”
He'd dug himself a grave, so he might as well live up to it. “Y-yeah! My goal this year, is that I'm gonna date Fifteen! And I'll show you all that I'm not a failure! She already let me into her cabin once, so I'm sure I can get through to her!”
“You were running from Fourteen,” the second said. “She hates him more than any of us. She'd make an excuse for anyone when it came to Fourteen.”
“Good luck with that,” the third said. “She'll torch you as soon as she sees you. She didn't even come to the bunker when we were attacked, remember? She hates your guts, just like everyone.”
“Yeah, sure! Don't support me! But once I do this, I'll be the one laughing! And if a fail I'll...I'll eat my hat! This special hat I got for my birthday one year, the one right here on my head! I'll eat it!”
“You're willing to risk your hat for this?” The third Zero looked up at his hat. “You love that thing.”
The first Zero chuckled vilely. “Fine. But here's my deal. If you win, we'll admit you're worth the trouble. And we'll thank you for when you saved us by not picking on you anymore. But if you lose...you'll have to tell Fifteen you're nothing but a failure, and that you were only exploiting her to get credit.” He held out a hand. “Deal?”
Zro looked at his hand. He made eye contact with Zero as he grabbed his hand. “Deal.” They shook on it.
Zero released Zro's hand. “You have three months. Good luck, little Zero. You'll need it.”
They headed back upstairs, the second Zero sticking his tongue out at Zro as he left. Zro thought about his decision. His entire future reputation rode on this one chance, and they were most likely right. Why would Fifteen care about a simple little Zero?
He smelt smoke. He looked back at the pile of burning tapes, seeing the fire had started to grow out of control. He screamed and grabbed the fire extinguisher. If today was that rough already, he couldn't imagine how bad the next three months were going to be.