Work Text:
Shore leave was infrequent enough that when Torrent Company got a few days off, every second had to be maximized. When Fives was planetside, you spent every possible moment together; nights out dancing with his brothers at 79’s, on dinner dates at new restaurants you wanted to try, on fun outings to do things Fives had never gotten to experience before, and quiet nights in with takeout and a holo. You enjoyed all of it, as long as Fives was by your side, but you loved the nights when you got him all to yourself the most. Fives must have realized those quiet nights were your favorite as well, because when there wasn’t time for everything, he always made sure you had at least one night alone together, curled up on the couch in your little apartment.
That was where you were tonight. You’d rented a holo that you’d both wanted to see and picked up dinner from your favorite restaurant. The food had been finished off an hour ago and now you were in Fives’ lap under your favorite blanket. His arms, muscular and strong from ARC trooper training, were wrapped securely around you. It was no wonder you couldn’t keep your eyes from slipping shut.
“Hey, cyar’ika, you think he did it?” Fives asks. “I think he did it.”
When you don’t answer, Fives gives your arm a light shake.
“Hmm?” you murmur, not having any idea what he’s asking you.
“The senator’s aide. Do you think he’s the one who hired the assassin?”
You furrow your brow, trying to recall what this movie is supposed to be about. Some kind of political thriller or something by the sound of it.
“Mhmm,” you nod sleepily.
“Interesting. Because I could have sworn you were asleep just now. Are you bored, mesh’la?” he teases.
“No, of course not!” You sit up and look at him, brow furrowed with worry despite the fact that you know he'd never get upset with you for nodding off.
“Why are you so tired, hm? Did we push you too hard at 79’s last night? I knew when ‘Case got that last round of shots we were in trouble,” he laughs.
“It's not that,” you say. “Although, that probably didn't help,” you chuckle. “But no, it's nothing, it's stupid.”
He pauses the holo. “Is it nothing or is it stupid? Because if it's stupid, it's still something, but maybe it's something we can fix?”
He's looking down at you with warm brown eyes and you can already see the wheels turning in that big ARC trooper brain, trying to solve your exhaustion like it's his latest mission. It's sweet that he wants to help, but there's no way he can. Not when he's the reason for it.
You bring a hand to his cheek. “I'm sorry, baby, I don't think you can fix this.”
“At least tell me what's going on before you tell me I can't fix it. I've got all kinds of skills. Might surprise you.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you snort a laugh.
“Okay,” you say, snuggling back into his arms. “Okay. Do you remember the night we met?”
“What? ‘Course I do!”
“I know you remember most of my friends because now they're dating your brothers, but do you remember Jiljoo? We call her Jilly?”
“She's a Twi’lek, right? I don't think I ever actually met her. You pointed her out that night though.”
“Yeah, that's right. You probably didn't meet her because as soon as we walked in the bar she ditched us for the Wolfpack. She'd started dating one of the boys, Corbin, a couple weeks before and apparently they'd really hit it off. They'd been comming each other non-stop until he finally got back to Coruscant. I think you and your brothers found us at the bar like two minutes after she left us. And the rest of that night was kind of a blur.” You smile softly at the memory.
“So what's she got to do with this?” Fives asks.
“Months went by and she was still so in love with him. I think it happened around a year after they'd been together. They were making plans to go out to this fancy restaurant to celebrate their anniversary. Jilly’d asked us to help her pick out an outfit so we'd all gone with her to find a dress and she looked incredible. She was so excited. And then I got a comm from her when she should have been out on her date and I could barely make out anything through the sobbing, but I knew there was only one thing that could have happened.” You sigh, gathering yourself for the next part. “She'd opened the door and found one of his brothers instead. Corbin had been killed in action. I've never seen anyone cry that hard. She made herself sick with it. And I could imagine how she felt because losing you…it would destroy me, too.”
“Cyare,” he whispers, tightening his arms around you. He leans his head against yours, enveloping you.
“She was the only person I knew who'd lost someone like that and I saw just how devastating it was for her. She was too depressed to do anything for months. We couldn't get her out of the house, she would barely eat. She lost her job because she stopped showing up. She cried all the time.”
“What happened to her?” Fives asks quietly.
“Turns out they actually have group therapy for that. Specifically for people who've lost their clone partners. We got her going to that regularly. She's doing better, but she won't come out with us anymore. I get it. You're all individuals, but seeing his face everywhere…it's hard. I don't know that it'll get easier.” You shift a little so you can look up at him. “I'm telling you all this because…that's when it started. I always worry about you when you're gone, but after that…it was different. I know you're an ARC trooper and you're capable and competent and you know what you're doing, but you're not invincible and it terrifies me to think of the same thing happening to us. I don't want to lose you.”
He kisses your forehead. “And that keeps you up at night,” he says, understanding.
“Yeah. I have nightmares about it sometimes,” you admit softly. “But then when you're here, I don't have to wonder if you're alive or not. I can hear your heart and I can feel you breathing and I know you're safe and…I know I can rest without worrying about you.”
Fives sighs, his hand sliding up to the back of your head, his fingers threading into your hair. “I hate that I'm the reason you're not sleeping.”
You open your mouth to protest but he shakes his head.
“But I love that you care about me so much. My sweet cyare,” he whispers against the top of your head before pressing a kiss there.
“You're worth worrying about. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Fives. I'm lucky I get to worry about you because it means that I get these moments too,” you say, gesturing around at your tiny living room, the takeout containers on the table, the paused holo. “I wouldn't give that up for anything.”
He's quiet for a moment, processing everything you've told him. “Well that's definitely not nothing. And it's not stupid either. I might not be able to fix it, but I can promise I'll always fight like hell to come back to you.” He tips your chin up so he can press a sweet kiss to your lips.
“I used to think the greatest thing I could ever be was a good soldier. But…since I met you, I think the best thing I can be is someone worth your love.”
“You've always been that, Fives.” You reach up and cup his face in your hands, pulling him into a kiss. “I love you so much,” you murmur against his lips before kissing him again.
“Love you too, cyar’ika,” he says, pressing your foreheads together. “You wanna finish this?” He gestures at the holo. “Or go to bed?”
“No, we can finish it. You'll have to catch me up,” you say. You're not that far in, but you had fallen asleep for most of it. “I'll stay awake.”
Fives fills you in on the drama and then he settles back into the cushions, pulling the blanket up around you.
You try to stay awake, you really do, but Fives’ heart thumps steadily against your ear and he's so warm. He’s muscular and strong, of course, but there's a softness to him that makes you believe he was built not for battle but for this; holding you. The weight of his arms around you feels comforting and secure and really it's not your fault for passing out almost immediately.
“Sleep tight, cyar'ika,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head. “I'll be here.”
When the holo is finished, Fives carries you to your bed and tucks you under the covers before stripping off his sweatpants and T-shirt to slide in beside you. He never gets tired of the way you seek him out, even in sleep, how you roll over and snuggle into his chest, a soft, content sigh slipping from your lips. This is something he appreciates when he has it. When he's off on a starship or some far off planet tomorrow night, he'll be thinking about this, the warm weight of your body pressed against his. At least for tonight, neither of you has to worry.