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“No.”
Emma hadn’t even reached the pawnshop counter before Gold spoke.
“I didn’t say anything.”
Rumpelstiltskin slammed his ledger shut and looked up. “You didn’t have to.”
Emma’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “I could be here just to talk.”
Rumple raised an eyebrow as he walked around the counter. “Really, Miss. Swan? Name one time you have entered this pawnshop without wanting something from me.”
She opened and closed her mouth before slumping over the counter in defeat, “Fine. I need your help.”
“Ask Regina.”
Emma stared at him, not expecting that answer. Gold never passed up an opportunity to put someone in his debt. “She refused to help.” The savior grumbled.
“That means whatever mishap has occurred is not a threat to the town, and can wait a day. Goodnight, Miss. Swan.” He turned to leave.
“Wait!” Emma grabbed his arm. “You haven’t even heard what happened!”
He looked down at her hand with a scowl. “And I don’t need to. You seem to be under the false impression that I must accept deals. I can decline them, too, and I am not inclined to deal tonight.”
“What do you want?” Emma asked in a voice that meant she was annoyed because she didn’t have control over the situation.
“To go home to my lovely wife, who is waiting for me to take her out on our date.”
That seemed to shock Emma enough that she let go of his arm, “What!”
He was torn between being annoyed or amused. “A date, Miss. Swan. It’s when people who are interested in each other set aside time for romance.”
“I know what a date is!”
“Good, I was starting to worry about your intelligence, or perhaps you can’t solve this mysterious problem because your faculties are affected by the Feeblemind curse?”
“I—wait, that’s actually real? Never mind, not important. I already tried, but it didn’t work.”
“That’s what happens when you skip your magic lessons, dearie.”
“I am not rising to your bait, Gold.”
He held his hands up, “Only stating facts.”
She took a deep breath, “Whatever, we can talk about my lessons later. Right now, I need your help.”
“And, I told you no.” He started to walk away, but the sheriff stood in his path.
“Wait! It won’t take but a second. You’re like an expert at turning people into animals, right?”
Now that was interesting. “I have been known to turn a person into a snail from time to time.”
“Great! Then it shouldn’t take you anytime at all to turn someone back.”
He sighed, “Back from what?”
“A chicken.”
“A chicken.” He repeated, deadpanned.
“Technically a rooster, but whatever.”
“And whose the unfortunate soul stuck as poultry?”
She seemed to hesitate for a moment before answering as if she was giving a report, “David Nolan.”
Amused. He decided he was definitely amused. His lips curled into a smile. “And how did Prince Charming end up in such a vulnerable position?”
“He touched some cursed object. I don’t know! Regina wouldn’t stop laughing and kept saying he got what he deserved for being nosy, then teleported away.”
“Well, it is a rare day when I agree with the Evil Queen, but I must say on this we are aligned. If he poked around with things he didn’t understand that most certainly weren’t his, then he can reap the consequences for a night.”
“Come on, Gold, after all the shit you’ve pulled?”
He sighed, “Fine, bring him here.”
“Well—you see.”
Oh, he did not like that tone. “He’s currently not—in town.”
“Then where is he?” He hissed.
“About an hour out on the Foxwood Farm.” He glared at her until she threw her hands up, “We couldn’t leave him in town! It seemed the safest place.”
“And you didn’t bring him to me first because?”
Emma flinched, “I thought I could reverse the spell myself.”
He huffed, “You mean you didn’t want to go to the Dark One unless it was a last resort? Somehow, this last resort seems to be the only solution to all the town’s problems.”
It seems the savior didn’t have a comeback for that one. “I am not missing my date with Belle to reverse a spell on an idiot who got himself into this situation to begin with. He is safe on the farm, as you put it, and I’m sure you can ward the place against wildlife if you’re so concerned. Snow can keep him company until tomorrow. Now, as I have said before, goodnight, Miss. Swan.”
Rumple teleported to the door and pulled it open. Emma turned. “Wait, Gold!”
He walked out of the pawnshop shouting, “Date night, Miss Swan! Date night.”