Chapter Text
Mike sighed as he stared into the mirror of the upstairs bathroom in his house. He was definitely running late, Will would be pulling up any minute, but his hair wasn’t cooperating with him today. And, he desperately needed it to look nicer than the bird’s nest he saw in the mirror’s reflection.
He’d decided to grow it out after he met Eddie through Hellfire when he started high school. Everything about him was so effortlessly cool, from his unapologetically alternative attitude to his nonconformist anti-suburban aesthetic. He wanted to be like him so badly, he thought he could at least replicate Eddie’s look on himself.
Mike didn’t own any band t-shirts or silver chains and rings, but he had his trusty black Chucks and black jeans. And, with his hair now reaching his shoulders, he looked like a mini Eddie. His green and black geometric patterned sweater his mom bought from Macy’s being the only article that truly kept him looking like Mike Wheeler.
He heard Lucas call from downstairs, “Dude! They’re gonna be here any minute!”
“Coming!”
Mike flipped his head upside down and shook his hair out, like he saw Nancy do sometimes, hoping for a miracle when he righted himself again. He immediately looked in the mirror to see what that dizzying action did. Not much, truth be told, but enough to make the mess look intentional. He wondered if this was how Eddie styled his locks. He’d have to ask the next time he saw him.
He faintly heard the door of a van slide open and then a chorus of voices overlapping and getting louder by the second. Shit, he was definitely late. He tore out from the bathroom and rushed down the stairs and out to the garage. His body halted as he stepped through the doorway, the sight of all his friends in the same place overwhelmed him.
The anticipation of today, and incidentally, the rest of the week, had been eating him alive. Will was coming back to Hawkins. California and Indiana’s spring breaks overlapped like an eclipse. The sun and moon were finally in the same location after 18 months and 17 days. The sheer excitement of this event was enough to keep him wired for the last two days.
Everyone was hugging and chirping their hello’s and I’ve missed you’s, mingling in and out of pairings fluidly. He started walking up to the group but immediately stilled when his eyes found the boy he’d been yearning for. His breath hitched. There, standing under the archway of his garage, was Will Byers. His best friend. And, unfortunately for both of them, the love of his life.
He could only make him out from behind but Mike thought he would be able to see him with his eyes closed in a pitch black room. His hair was shorter and he definitely got taller, now the same height as Lucas, but he still held himself the way he always had. Just the same.
They were accidentally coordinated. Will was wearing a green flannel with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had on tan pants that fit him snuggly, not that Mike let himself look that long, a belt that brought even more attention to the bottom half of his body and new white Chucks. The palms of his hands began to sweat. He rubbed them on the side of his legs.
When Will turned around, maybe to look for Mike, they locked eyes. His knees nearly buckled under themselves. Will’s soft childish facial features had disappeared, leaving behind a strong jawline that made Mike audibly gulp in response. He didn’t think he could possibly be more attracted to his best friend than he already was, but he’d been known to be wrong once or twice.
Will didn’t waste any time, rushing toward him with a smile brighter than the sun. So radiant and blinding, Mike would surely fail a side by side comparison test if he was given one. He had missed that smile fiercely. How it showed that his two front teeth were a little longer than the rest.
Before Mike could fully commit these physical changes to memory, he was holding Will in his arms. He didn’t know what felt better. Wrapping himself around Will’s, now incredibly broader, shoulders or having Will’s impossibly strong arms encircling his waist. Whatever the answer was, he didn’t really care to know. Not when both of them were actively pulling themselves flush against the other.
Maybe the feeling of having Will’s head on his shoulder and hearing him breathe out his name trumped all of the above. It was heavenly. He didn’t want to stop being this close. But, Will was loosening his hold so Mike, begrudgingly, did the same. He took half a step back, creating enough distance to say there was technically space between them. They locked eyes, again. Being closer than they had been in over a year, even though it felt more like a decade to Mike.
Not seeing those gorgeous brown and green eyes every day was something he didn’t realize would be so hard. Mike knew he’d miss Will’s laugh, his mannerisms, the face he made when he was sketching, the way he used run-on sentences when he got excited. The general effortlessness of their friendship, sure. But, he was surprised with how often he’d see something, simultaneously brown and green, that would cause his chest to pull tight around his heart. He was secretly glad he didn’t spend his time outdoors.
He was so focused on drinking in Will’s presence that he didn’t register the hand that was lifting up to gently touch a strand of his hair. Fingers ghosted his neck as Will twirled the soft black curls through them, making him realize he was also being studied.
They both had yet to speak to each other, merely basking in the happiness of being together again. But, Mike realized one of them should say something.
“Um, hey.” His head dipped down, feeling his cheeks heating.
“Hi.” Will’s voice was a lot deeper, something Mike would’ve known beforehand if he bothered to call in the last year or so. He stopped trying about four months in, after one too many busy signals, hoping Will would call him if he wanted to hear his voice. He never did.
Will finally let go of his hair, his face also growing red. Mike had to clear his throat to cover up the whine that nearly came out from the absence of his touch. He needed to get a grip. They were standing way too close. His senses were overloading with how much Will he was experiencing all at once. So, he forced himself to take a full step back and ordered his head to stop spinning.
Will faltered, also stepping back and stuffing his hands in his pockets, “Sorry, you just look so different.”
He didn’t expect any kind of compliment but ‘different’ wasn’t a great descriptor. He shifted from one foot to the other, “Uh, good different or bad different?”
Will’s eyes widened slightly, “Oh, good. Definitely good.” He then poked the tip of his tongue out to wet his lips.
“Oh, cool.” Mike’s breath hitched at the sight. He realized he needed Will to know exactly how he found his new appearance, so he continued, “You— you also look different. Good, great even.”
“Thank you.”
They fell into an awkward silence, something neither was really used to when being with the other, but kept grinning at each other all the same.
“Hey, Will! We’re about to head out!”
Both boys startled at the voice, Jonathan stood just outside a yellow pizza delivery van, his own hair longer than the last time Mike saw him. As he watched Will make his way back to the van to grab his bag and hug his brother good bye, Mike felt like he was being torn in two. He’d only had his best friend back within arm’s length for five, maybe ten minutes, but the all too familiar ache he last experienced watching Will drive away settled in his stomach, nesting. Will wasn’t even out of his sight, he could easily follow but his legs felt cemented to, well, the cement floor.
He forced his body to move so he didn’t look like some recluse, coming up through the middle of his friends. Jane smiled and waved at him with the bouquet of purple flowers she held, her head nestled onto Dustin’s shoulder. He didn’t know when that happened, but he found he wasn’t the most observant person, lately. He really only had that skill when it came to Will.
Jonathan had Will in a bone crushing hug, holding his face when he finally released him and murmuring something Mike couldn’t decipher. But, Will replied, “I’ll be okay.”
Jonathan turned his attention toward him, “Hey, Mike. Take care of him, yeah?”
“Jonathan, stop.” Will rolled his eyes and groaned in embarrassment, cheeks growing red again.
Will was so cute when he got flustered, Mike smiled about it, “I will.”
Then, the driver’s side door of the van flung open and a brightly dressed guy, with hair longer than Eddie’s, poked his head out and squinted at him. The smell of a skunk wafted into the air, making Mike’s nose scrunch up. The guy looked him up and down and then said, “Richie, dude, what is up my man?”
Mike looked behind him just in case some random person was standing in his garage that he didn’t notice earlier. But, he came up empty. Will rushed to his side and Jonathan attempted to get the guy’s attention but he was transfixed on Mike.
“You gotta tell me how you got your hair that long in such a short time, brochacho.”
Before he could voice his confusion or at least correct him, Will stepped between them, but it was Jonathan who spoke, “Argyle, man, I asked you to wait until we got to the desert before lighting up.”
“And, I was more than happy to oblige, my pale friend. But, the sterile nature of suburbia has given me the heebiest of all the jeebies.” And then, he grew serious, staring at Will, “You call us if they try any kind of ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ experimentation on you, little Jonathan dude.”
“Sure thing, Argyle. Drive safe.”
The guy, Argyle, seemed content with Will’s response, sliding himself back in the van without another word. The brothers shared a look that held an entire conversation Mike couldn’t understand before Jonathan hopped back into the passenger’s seat. He blared the horn as they drove off, the party waving after them.
Will sighed with his whole body when the van was out of sight, relief etched into his features. He easily swung his duffle up and over his shoulder, shaking his head wearily, “I’m so sorry about him. Jonathan’s car wouldn’t have made the trip and if we wanted the van, Argyle had to be with it for Surfer Boy Pizza liabilities.”
Mike only fully understood the first part of the explanation, “It’s fine.”
Will smiled softly at him and then started following Lucas and Max, who’d already turned to head in the house. Mike didn’t look at his butt this time and he was a little too proud of that fact. He did, however, let himself ruminate on how Will’s shoulders and arms had gotten immensely muscular. He had handled that bag like it was a tiny hand purse or something. He could feel his bottom lip slip behind his teeth, lost in those thoughts.
Jane smirked at him as she and Dustin walked past while holding hands. Ever the gentleman, Dustin carried Jane’s bag. He followed after them, closing the garage door like any good son would.
His parents and Holly would be getting home from Indianapolis tomorrow. A family trip Mike only got out of because of Will’s visit. And, Nancy wouldn’t get her spring break for another week so, they decided to have a giant sleepover in the basement, girls included. It felt fitting that the whole party would stay together for Will’s first night back. He was a little confused, yet more than grateful, when Dustin brought the idea up. At least now he knew why he, of all people, suggested it in the first place.
Since Will would be staying with Mike the whole week, he felt he needed some form of wading in the water before jumping into the deep end. Being alone with his best friend every night would be a daunting task. Not that he’d want it any other way, though. He might’ve thrown a fit if anyone else offered to house Will. Luckily, they all assumed the correct sleeping arrangements.
Being alone with Will in general was going to be difficult given that he was still hopelessly in love with him. Time away did not fizzle out the flame of desire he had built for his best friend like he aimlessly hoped. If anything, it made those feelings all the more stronger. Everything reminded him of Will. Be it the little things, like a song he liked coming on the radio or smelling art supplies when he’d walk past the art room. The big things, like trying to get through a D&D campaign without dissociating completely and absentmindedly saving a seat next to himself in the cafeteria. Even the obscure things, like when he eats gummy bears. He nearly choked up having to throw the green apple bears away for the first time since he met Will.
But, he was back. For the next seven days Mike would get to feel whole, again. He already felt a sense of renewed energy just by the few words they shared in the garage. The giddy contentment swirling in, out, and around his heart made him believe he could fly if he wanted to. It was a dangerous feeling, one he would probably wish away if he could. He needed to slow down and focus on their friendship, keep Will from accidentally seeing what he truly was. They only had seven days together. Mike would make the most of it. Give Will an unforgettable spring break filled with as many platonic memories as possible.
*
Mike’s basement looked as it always had, beige and dingy. His mom made him clean it from top to bottom in order to earn the permission for the whole party to stay the night. Dustin was uncharacteristically the most helpful when they spent last Saturday in a haze of chemicals. Another signal that he should’ve seen and questioned him on. He really had been checked out the last year and a half, apparently.
Mike made sure to locate and pile together every blanket they owned, sans the bed comforters. Pillows and sleeping bags were brought from their own houses, with Lucas bringing an extra for Jane and Mike said he would have one for Will. They’d be ordering a few pizzas in a couple hours and the fridge was stocked with liters of sodas and jugs of juice. He’d planned the details of it all, double checked and triple checked all the items on his mental To Do list. It definitely helped take his mind off worrying about what it would be like to be around Will, again. There was always a chance he could’ve drastically changed in the time he was away and now found Mike annoying or something else equally as terrible. In any case, he was happy for the distraction.
The party began settling into the space like no time had passed. After the various bathroom breaks and fighting over what music to put on, everyone chose their seating arrangements. Max on the recliner with Lucas sitting at her feet, Dustin on the couch with Jane curled into his arm, Mike a foot away from them also on the couch, and Will on the floor just to the left of him. Way too far away for Mike’s liking but he needed to play it safe. He was so used to being close enough to innocuously touch Will. The yearning hit him hard like a brick wall. He had to keep remembering that being separated was a good thing.
“Hey guys, there’s something I want to tell you all.” Will’s voice cut through David Bowie’s Let’s Dance, and his thoughts, with determination, but his head was downturned, nervous.
Mike saw Jane reposition herself a bit straighter in his peripherals. His eyebrows pulled together, gaze never leaving Will.
He took a deep breath and then continued, “It’s not the easiest thing to talk about, but I already told my family. And, telling them was really scary, especially Hop. Like, I thought he was gonna kick me out. Not that mom would let him but still.”
It sounded like Will was about to confess to crimes beyond imagination. His shoulders folded in on himself and suddenly he was the boy from two summers ago, again. He desperately tried to pull the cuff of his sleeves over his hands, to no avail. Mike wanted to reach out and hold them but forced himself to hold his own instead.
Will took in another deep breath, “But, everything was fine in the end. And, I know it’s been a while since we’ve all been together and I’m asking a lot by talking about this right now. And, I don’t expect any of you to be completely cool with it right away.”
Will glanced at Mike, this being the first time he’s even looked up since he started talking, but it was only for a moment before his gaze went around the room to everyone else.
Thousands of possibilities swam through Mike’s head, all things he knew Will would never do. The only crime coming to mind was defacing public property, and Will was such an amazing artist, Mike was sure he’d get thanked in place of being arrested. He couldn’t imagine what his best friend was struggling with to garner this amount of blatant shame.
“But, you’re my best friends and I want you guys to know me, the real me. I’m not the best liar, anyway.” Will huffed out a small laugh, then inhaled a shaky breath and let it out slowly, “I’m gay. I— I like boys. The way I’m supposed to like girls.”
Holy shit. Mike’s brain felt like a bike tire spinning in mud. That wasn’t even on the laundry list of likelihoods he had shuffled through like a rolodex. Never in his wildest dreams could he ever come to the conclusion that Will isn’t straight. Mike really thought that he was the only one he knew that could feel that way about another boy. Trying to wrap his mind around this information made him dizzy. He stared slack jawed at his best friend, at a complete loss for words. He felt like a statue, heavy and immobile.
Jane was up first, rushing to Will and sitting on her knees to better pull his forehead flush with hers. Then came Lucas, wrapping his arms around Will from the side and mumbling something Mike couldn’t catch. Max and Dustin rose at the same time and tangled themselves into the other two open spaces around Will. His brain was screaming at him to move but his body wasn’t listening. It took him a few moments after everyone settled in on the floor to stand up and join them. With no real way to embrace Will, he knelt down and cupped his knee, squeezing gently.
Will’s hazel eyes flew open and locked on his. They were glassy and it made them look like some polished precious mineral.
He challenged himself to hold Will’s gaze and give him a reassuring smile because no matter how far into his own head he found himself, he was going to be there for his best friend. And, Will really needed him to be his friend right now. No matter how tantalizing the implication of the boy you’re in love with being interested in dating guys. Because, even though that statement was true, it had nothing to do with him. It was merely a coincidence, the planets aligning during a leap year. Finding a four leaf clover on Friday the 13th. Who knew what the odds truly were for this to become Mike’s new reality. Although, he had a feeling it was close to one in a million.
Dustin pulled away first, his head coming between him and Will, “So, hypothetically speaking, if you had to choose, which one of us would you want to date?”
Everyone, besides Will and Jane, groaned loudly. Max let go of Will with one arm and used it to hit their friend, “Shut up, Dustin.”
“What? It’s a valid question!”
Lucas’ face was the epitome of offended, “It’s really not, dude. Besides, neither of us would be good enough for him, anyway.”
While Lucas and Dustin started bickering, Mike glanced at Will who was already looking at him. Now that his hand was free from Dustin’s back, he placed it on Mike’s. He wanted nothing more than to turn his palm up and slot their fingers together but he knew letting go after that would be next to impossible.
So, he gave Will’s knee a final squeeze and retreated back to the couch, flustered by the tiny bit of intimacy he was just involved in. It’d take him a while to be able to look at him again. At least Will didn’t answer Dustin’s idiotic question, he couldn’t bear not hearing his name.
*
After Max yelled at Dustin and Lucas through angry tears that they were so annoying, everyone returned to their original spots and spent the next hour properly catching up. Dustin gushed about Hellfire, Lucas puffed up proudly when he talked about basketball. Max shared all the music she’d been listening to, Kate Bush being her favorite, Jane vented about this girl whose only goal was to make her life hell. And, Will claimed his news was really the only exciting thing about his life lately.
Mike didn’t have much to contribute, too embarrassed to admit how lonely his life had really become. He was either at school or in his house, only hanging out with his friends or family when directly asked. He was in a constant state of agonizing limbo. A perpetual anxious feeling that only subsided when he was asleep. He felt permanently off-kilter without Will, and his friends definitely noticed. Luckily, no one brought it up to rag on him like they usually would. They let him use his ‘my dad is on my ass about school it’s bullshit’ excuse. The conversation moved on quickly.
“Wait, so Jonathan smokes pot, now? In a house he shares with Sheriff Hopper?” Dustin asked in awe.
Will chuckled and rolled his eyes, “He always blames the smell on Argyle, the one who was driving the van, and Hop is trying so hard not to parent him because he’s basically an adult. But yeah, he smokes. I don’t fully understand why, though.”
Jane sat up straight and put a hand on her hip, the other still wrapped in Dustin’s, “You’re lying.”
“You saw him do it with your own eyes!”
Jane shook her head, “But, you smoke, too.”
Will’s eyebrows scrunched together, “What? No, I don’t!”
“Why do I smell it on your clothes sometimes? It’s not like they do it around us.”
Will looked completely puzzled, Mike could see the gears shifting in his head. And then, his cheeks grew red, glancing at Mike for a millisecond before speaking, “Oh, right. That’s, um, because Richie smokes with them sometimes, and when he gets high, he gets, um, overly touchy.”
Who the fuck was Richie? And, why was he overly touching Will? Why was he close enough to Jonathan to get to smoke with him? Was he the reason why Will never called? What did that Richie guy look like and was he more attractive than Mike? He wasn’t really anything to look at, if he was being honest with himself, but he never thought his best friend would be so shallow. What’s been going on in California? Who the fuck was Richie? Wait, he’d heard that name before. It’s what Argyle called him. Or, maybe he was hallucinating and thought he saw that Richie guy behind him in Mike’s garage. That made more sense.
“Ooh, who’s Richie?” Lucas wagged his eyebrows at Will. Mike didn’t appreciate the implications of his tone, it sounded too much like when he would tease Nancy about her boyfriend, Steve.
“He’s a friend. Just a friend.” Will declared, adamantly.
Thank God.
“That’s over at the house all the time, hanging all over you every chance he gets and calling you pet names like ‘my beloved’ and ‘baby doll’.” Jane let go of Dustin in favor of having both her hands on her hips.
Mike wanted that Richie guy dead. He wanted to personally be the one to watch the light leave his eyes, having the last thing he hears be Mike’s maniacal laughter.
“Stop it, Jane.” Will ground out through his teeth.
“Well, he does.” She slumped back into Dustin.
“It’s not like that with me and Richie.” Will was direct and firm, “If you hung out with us, like, at all, you would know that.”
And, there you had it, folks. Straight from the horse’s mouth or whatever.
Jane chewed on her lip, “But, would it be so bad if he did want to date? You deserve to be loved like that, Will.”
Mike saw the resolve settle in Will’s eyes, hardening his stare further, “We’re not talking about this. Next topic, please.”
Dustin quickly jumped in to dispel the tension the step-siblings created, distracting everyone with details of Hellfire’s latest campaign.
Jane had clearly touched a nerve bringing that Richie guy up. It sounded like she was trying to convince Will to give the guy a chance, like she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t accepting his advances. This felt like how Lucas was two summers ago. At least, this time, the potential match is someone Will could actually like. Mike really hoped he didn’t, though. He said as much. But, Mike wouldn’t want to talk about those kinds of feelings in front of his sister and friends, either. And, it wasn’t as easy for him to know what Will was thinking anymore. He was totally out of practice with reading him.
What he did know was that Richie guy was alarmingly fearless. In less than two years of knowing Will, he already had the guts to verbally express how he felt. A much higher success rate than Mike had in over ten. God, he hated him. If only because he could actually flirt with the object of his affection without caring who heard or saw. A skill he’d probably never hone.
A small part of his brain hoped that he was the reason Will didn’t want to date that Richie guy, but he wouldn’t allow himself to entertain the idea. Wishful thinking always made Mike’s heart ache. He pulled his legs up to his chest to put some pressure on the vital organ. It didn’t really help.
And, it wasn’t even close to the time they agreed he would order pizza.
*
They started crashing at 11:00 which was embarrassing for a group of teenagers but Will and Jane were exhausted from driving so long so the party obliged.
Both couples wanted to be able to cuddle while they slept, even though Max vehemently denied it, so they made their beds on the floor. The couch left for either Mike or Will. He insisted Will take it and there wasn’t any push back, which he found strange but grateful for. Mike hated sleeping on the floor, though, being bony enough to feel every point of discomfort. He chose a spot on the area rug directly in front of the couch, but that detail was completely incidental.
Lights were out by 11:30, the gentle hum of the heater serving as a white noise lullaby for them. But, try as he might, Mike couldn’t fall asleep. He just laid there, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, thinking about Will and trying to stop thinking about Will.
He hadn’t talked much after he and Jane bickered about that Richie guy. He kept accidentally making eye contact with Mike. He’ll call it that because he was already looking Will’s way when he’d do it. Quick to look away and reposition his body like he was self-conscious about it.
When Mike couldn’t take it anymore, he rolled out of the sleeping bag and made his way upstairs to the kitchen. This was something he did every now and then. He liked the night time. No one was ever awake to hear him or around to try and talk. He’d tip toe down from his room and hop up on the counter, enjoying the quiet and maybe a snack if he had skipped dinner that evening.
He flicked the light above the stove on, the clock read 2:37. He was going to hate himself in the morning, Max and Dustin had planned some form of activity for each day of the week. Going to the arcade, roller skating, movies, you name it, they organized it all. It’d be a nice change of pace for him but Mike knew he’d be exhausted by the end of the week.
He poured himself a glass of water and gulped it down noisily, backing up and onto the counter, knocking his head against the cupboard behind him. Then he heard the door to the basement open and then close. The rhythm of the footsteps told him exactly who was approaching.
Will turned the corner and came into view, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand.
“There you are.” He smiled softly, shuffling into the kitchen.
Mike felt caught, like it was wrong for Will to see him like this, he ducked his head, “Here I am.”
Will huffed out a laugh and stepped closer, his tone light, “It’s actually kind of funny how I found out you were gone. I felt my arm slip off the couch and hit your sleeping bag and I thought I’d hit you so I woke up to apologize but you weren’t there.”
“Oh. Yeah, that is kind of funny.” He forced out a laugh, only looking up for a moment before dropping his head back down.
“What’s wrong, Mike?”
He’d forgotten how often Will used his name in conversation. It made his stomach swoop.
“I’m fine.”
Will closed the distance, leaning a hip against the counter only an inch from him and crossed his arms over his chest, “I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other but I can still tell when you’re lying.”
Mike sighed and studied his hands woven together, unable to fully focus on Will, “I know.”
“Then, why are you even trying?”
His eyebrows furrowed, ashamed at himself for thinking he could fool his best friend. Like he wouldn’t get called out on any kind of strange behavior. The other members of the party didn’t seem to notice as much as Will did. They never asked Mike any kind of intrusive questions. He got used to being able to hide his negative emotions this past year.
Will continued after he didn’t respond, “You haven’t really talked at all today. It’s not like you.”
His brain pleaded with his body to give Will some kind of response, he managed to shrug his shoulders.
Suddenly, and without warning, Will pushed off from the counter and bracketed Mike’s legs with his arms, leaning down to force real eye contact. He startled and sat up straighter, blinking rapidly. The dim light washed the green out of his eyes, leaving them as dark as his own. They were just as close as they were after they hugged in the garage.
Will didn’t move away, just raised his body to full height, “Does this have to do with me?”
He was definitely caught. Will figured him out and now he was confronting him for hiding his true feelings. He gulped, “What do you mean?”
It was Will’s turn to look down, letting go of the counter and taking a half step akin to the one Mike used only 12 hours ago. His voice was firm, “Is it hard for you to be around me, now? You know, because you know the truth? Because that’s okay, I mean, it’s not okay, it really sucks, but I don’t have to stay here, I can ask Lucas or Dustin if—”
“No!” Mike’s hands flew to Will’s face, lifting his head up so he could look into his eyes. They were both shocked by the gesture, Will parted his lips and Mike dropped his hands to his best friend's biceps, an idea that wasn’t much smarter as it was less intimate.
He cleared his throat, “Don’t leave.”
A command that didn’t even answer Will’s question. A question that had no business being asked. Mike would do anything for his best friend, happily ride into battle on his behalf, such was his D&D class. When did this idea even cross Will’s mind?
Although he wasn’t properly answered, Will simply nodded several times and breathed out, “Okay.”
Mike dipped his head so he and Will were the same height, he needed him to fully understand him, “Being with you is the easiest thing in the world for me. There’s nothing you could do that would ever make me stop—.” Loving you. “Being your best friend.”
Will let out a breath and nodded, again. Mike grazed his hands a few inches down to the inside of Will’s elbows and pushed him away from the counter far enough to hop off it himself. He felt Will’s arms bend and his hands turn up to cup the outside of his own elbows. They stared into each other's eyes long enough for Mike to forget why he was holding Will this way. He blinked himself out of it and surged forward, embracing Will as hard as he could and closing his eyes just as tightly. He felt tears pool in the corner of his closed eyes.
His best friend gripped him back just as tight, his head sinking so his eyes were fully covered by Mike’s shoulder. He felt the stutter in Will’s breathing vibrate through his chest. He could throw himself off the cliff and into the quarry with how angry he was at himself for making Will cry.
He turned his face to lean his cheek into Will’s hair, “I’m so sorry I did anything that made you think differently.” He was such an idiot. And, he felt like a total asshole for being perceived as anything other than someone who loves Will Byers unconditionally.
They stood like that for a lot longer than Mike originally intended, but he didn’t get to give him a proper hug in the basement after he came out to them. That was most likely one of the, possibly many, things he did that made Will think the unthinkable. A longer embrace seemed necessary. And yet, always in sync, they started pulling away at the same time. Both boys brushed a few stray tears from their eyes, quietly laughing with each other to cut the tension.
Will’s voice came out a little gravely, “If that’s not it, then what’s actually wrong?”
Mike needed to come clean. He needed Will to know exactly why he had been acting the way he was, leaving no room for any kind of doubt.
He sighed heavily and hopped back on the counter, scooting to his right to make more room. He patted the spot, half warm from his body heat already. Will obliged, caught between worry and thoughtfulness. This position was clearly the best possible option. No eye contact to get flustered from and close enough in proximity to press their shoulders together if they wanted to. He kept his hands clasped in his lap though, being able to feel Will’s pinky finger press into his thigh.
The longer Mike stayed in his presence, the more at ease he was becoming. He must’ve just been out of practice with the art of conversation, in need of a refresher course.
He took a moment to inhale and exhale, “I kind of— Well, I pushed everyone away while you were gone and today I realized how shameful that decision was and I got extremely embarrassed by it.”
“Oh, Mike.” Will’s hand found his forearm, his thumb rubbing little circles near his wrist.
“I know, I know.” He ducked his head, focusing on the physical contact.
“Why would you do that?”
Mike almost laughed, the absurdity of that question left him speechless. He just shook his head and waited for the shock to dissipate before continuing, “I can’t really talk to Lucas or Dustin. Not that I can’t trust them or anything. It’s just they’re not you. Neither of them would’ve known what to say, anyway.”
“Did you even let them try?”
Another audacious question that left Mike without words to answer. He concentrated on Will’s touch to attempt to guide them back. He got exactly one to cooperate, “No.”
He didn’t want a replacement Will. He didn’t want to connect with anyone the same way he connected with his best friend. Their bond was too precious to him to be grossly duplicated the second Will wasn’t there.
“So, you willingly isolated yourself?”
Mike glanced up and into Will’s eyes, the green was still gone but they held a glimmer of playfulness. Something that would feel out of place if he was with anyone else in this context.
He blushed bashfully, “Well, when you say it like that it sounds pathetic!”
Will let go of his arm and settled on his shoulder, “Not pathetic. Just generally unhelpful in the long run.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know that.” Mike sighed again, the hot embarrassment flaring through his cheeks started spreading down his neck. He felt too exposed, too bare. Too self-conscious, now that he’d confessed how he’d been living. Like he was on the couch at a therapy appointment or something.
He felt so small, generally undeserving of the comfort he was receiving. How dramatic of him, how childish. To hide away because he couldn’t be with the one he loved. Goddamn Romeo and Juliet levels of idiocy. And, even if he did it in the name of love, that didn’t automatically make it some kind of romantic gesture, it made it destructive. Could you even say what he did was worthy of being called love?
“Hey,” Will squeezed his shoulder, getting him to turn and look at him, “I don’t want that to happen again.”
“I know. I mean, me either.” The earnestness in his best friend’s gaze made Mike want to scream. He really didn’t deserve this amount of care.
Will dropped his hand back onto the counter, incidentally pushing it back into Mike’s thigh, “We should set up a call schedule for when I go back. Like, a weekly phone date.” He paused, stuttering, “I mean, a set time to call each other every week. Sorry, that’s what Mom calls it when Jane is talking with Dustin. A phone date. They had to start planning those since Mom was always on the phone for her telemarketer job.”
Mike nodded in agreement, only partially slipping up at hearing Will call anything they would do a ‘date’. He didn’t need the image of himself twirling the phone cord while they were talking in his mind. So, he took the opportunity for a change in subject, “What’s happening with those two, anyway?”
Will’s eyes rolled so far back in his skull, his irises almost disappeared, “It started around this time last year. I found out when she got a package from him and I assumed it was my birthday present. She wrestled it out of my hands and took it in her room with the biggest blush on her face.”
Mike couldn’t believe those two were dating and he found it out a whole year into their relationship. He’s really been such a shit friend to everyone, hasn't he?
He groaned pretty loudly, compared to how softly they’d been talking, and ran his hands down his face in anguish, “I probably would’ve known that if I’d bothered to be there.”
He sheepishly looked at Will who grinned back, “You know, what? Look at the bright side, it’s only mostly your fault.”
Mike bumped Will with both his knee and his arm in astonishment, scoffing loudly. His best friend just laughed, letting himself be lightly shoved.
“I missed you.” He heard himself say, another confession.
“I missed you more.” Will sounded both wistful and firm in his belief.
Which was highly unlikely but Mike was suddenly too tired to start that argument tonight. He yawned instead, making Will do the same. They shared another laugh, this one softer. Will slid off the counter first and tugged on Mike’s sleeve to wordlessly tell him they were going back downstairs. He followed instantly, turning the stove light off as he passed.
And, as they settled back into their makeshift beds, Mike felt relieved, lighter. Like he wasn’t carrying as much, anymore. Sleep came quickly, even with the constant pain of laying on the floor.