Work Text:
To: Namjoon
Jungkook [10:20]
Hyung
Hey hyung
I know we haven’t talked privately for a little bit
And I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable
But we really need to talk about something
Jungkook [10:25]
Hyung seriously
Hyung I have to tell you something it's really important
Jungkook [10:40]
Hyung?
Jungkook [11:10]
Ok I'm kind of freaking out
3 Missed calls from Jungkook
*
To: Seokjinnie and the Six Babies
Jungkook [12:00]
Hey, has anyone talked to namjoon-hyung today?
I need to tell him something really important
He isn’t picking up the phone OR texting back
Jin [12:01]
Jeon Jungkook? Texting in the groupchat??
Jungkook [12:01]
This is kind of serious jin-hyung
Jin [12:01]
Ah okay
No haven’t heard from him today
Is everything okay?
Yoongi [12:10]
I think he’s at the office right now
I’m dropping by later
In a couple of hours probably
Want me to play messenger?
Anything you want me to tell him for you?
Jimin [12:11]
Do we need to kill namjoonie-hyung?
It’ll be sad
But I’ll do it
Jungkook [12:12]
No that’s ok yoongi-hyung
Can you just tell him to call me back?
It’s really important
Yoongi [12:13]
Sure kook-ah
Let hyung know if there’s anything else you need
Okay?
Jungkook [12:13]
Thanks hyungie
Jimin [12:15]
What about this hyung?
Jungkook [12:15]
Thanks hyungie x2
Jin [12:20]
What about this hyung?
Jungkook [12:20]
You didn’t even do anything hyung
Jin [12:20]
:(
Jungkook [12:21]
Thanks hyungie x3
Jin [12:22]
:)
*
To: Yoongi
Yoongi [12:50]
Are you sure you’re alright?
Joon’s been all weird for months now
That have anything to do with you?
Jungkook [12:50]
Uh
Yeah
Probably
Yoongi [12:51]
You guys gonna figure it out?
Jungkook [12:52]
I hope so
I just have to tell him something like really important
Not over the phone
It might make him upset or something for a little bit
I don’t know
Yoongi [12:54]
Thanks for letting me know kook-ah
This hyung has your back
And you have 4 other hyungs to back you up too
Whatever it is I’m sure joon will get over it
We all love you
Jungkook [12:55]
Ah hyung you’re gonna make me cry
Yoongi [12:56]
Love you kid
Jungkook [12:57]
:)
*
To: Namjoon
Namjoon [5:01]
Sorry kook
I was just busy with work
Didn’t mean to ignore you
Or stress you out
Or
Anything
What’s up?
What did you need to tell me?
Namjoon [5:10]
Kook?
Yoongi-hyung said it seemed like it was important
It was in the group chat too
Jiminie was threatening to kill me
Sounds serious
Jungkook [5:11]
Yeah
Sorry hyung
Jungkook [5:19]
Actually can we meet in person
Like tomorrow morning maybe?
At the coffee shop tae-hyung likes
Namjoon [5:20]
Yeah of course
Whatever you want
Jungkook [5:21]
Ok thanks
10 am?
Namjoon [5:22]
I’ll be there
Namjoon [5:30]
Kook
You’re okay right?
Jungkook [5:31]
Yeah
Thanks hyung :)
Namjoon [5:40]
:)
*
Jungkook spends way too much time deciding what he’s going to wear to meet up with Namjoon, which feels especially stupid when he ends up wearing his most comfortable, stretched-out hoodie and tastefully ripped baggy jeans. Both articles of clothing have definitely seen better days. But they’re definitely comfortable, and cozy, and Jungkook needs that kind of support right now.
It doesn’t help to calm his nerves; all the time spent deliberating on his outfit, just settle on something casual and comfy. It’s silly, maybe, to be this nervous. It’s not like Jungkook hasn’t seen Namjoon at all in the last few months. It’s just been -- less. He’s still seen all of his hyungs during group dinners and outings, but he hasn’t popped by Namjoon’s apartment or the office space he shares with Yoongi at the music production company they work for just to see him and spend time with him. To spend time with him alone, specifically, one-on-one. It’s left him feeling unsteady, unmoored. Not to mention the way Namjoon has been barely responding to Jungkook’s text messages, as few and far between as Jungkook’s texting habits tend to be. Still, Namjoon used to text him unprompted, just little things about his day or things he’d seen online that reminded him of Jungkook. Jungkook knows why all that has stopped and slowed down, but that just makes this specific situation all the more difficult.
The cafe is close by, which is why Jungkook chose it. That means he can walk there from his apartment comfortably. It’s a walk Jungkook makes frequently, a good middle spot in between his home and the tattoo shop where he has his apprenticeship. It feels like home turf, a fairly comfortable spot to do this, to have this conversation that makes Jungkook honestly want to run for the hills and never look back.
The sun is shining, a subtle warmth in the winter air that heats Jungkook through his giant puffer coat. But honestly, he probably wouldn’t even notice if it was pouring rain outside, too lost in his own head to take in the uncharacteristically mild weather.
When Jungkook gets to the cafe, he can already see through the glass doors that Namjoon is sitting there, waiting for him. Of course he is. It makes Jungkook frustratingly emotional, trying to channel all that away as he pushes through the doors to get inside.
Namjoon doesn’t notice him until Jungkook has ordered, picked up his drink and snack, and sat down across from him. It startles Namjoon in a way that is almost cartoonishly endearing and achingly familiar, fumbling with his phone - which he had been reading something on intently - when he looks up and sees Jungkook staring back at him. That makes Jungkook smile, the first effortless one all morning.
“Hey, hyung,” Jungkook says, trying to keep his voice casual and calm.
“Hey, Jungkook,” Namjoon parrots back at him. His smile is a little strained, definitely nervous, but he still, generally, looks normal, the way he always looks. As normal as he was when Jungkook saw him two weeks ago at Jimin’s apartment. As normal as he did when Jungkook saw him months ago, now, alone in Namjoon’s apartment, his face backlit by the warm glow of his living room lamp.
“Do you -- uh,” Namjoon shifts in his seat, fidgety in a way that is definitely less normal Namjoon behavior. “Do you want to get right to it? You wanted to tell me something, right? Are you okay?”
Jungkook nods, fiddling with the mug of tea he has sitting in front of him, picking at the tag of the bag of tea leaves draped over the edge of the cup, just something to do with his hands. Namjoon mirrors him again, picking up his cup to take a sip of what Jungkook assumes is coffee.
Well. Might as well rip the bandage off.
“Namjoon-hyung,” Jungkook says, fighting a losing battle to keep his voice steady. “I’m pregnant.”
Namjoon sputters on his sip of coffee, almost spraying his mouthful onto the table separating them.
***
It started like this:
Jungkook has known Namjoon since he was in college. Now that everyone in their friend group has graduated, well on their way to being established real adults, they’ve stayed in touch, even growing closer as friends (arguably as codependent friends, who rarely go more than three or so consecutive days without seeing each other). Jungkook has always admired Namjoon, has always thought he’s just so cool, so handsome, and so smart, and so funny, and so dependable.
It’s no secret that Jungkook thinks that way. It’s also no secret that Jungkook has had a crush on him since basically the second he laid eyes on the older man. It’s particularly not a secret because everyone teases him about it all the time. Everyone except for Namjoon, that is.
Namjoon has, blessedly, never been awkward about it. It makes him blush when their friends bring it up, but he never teases Jungkook about it himself, or even brings it up on his own. Namjoon and Jungkook hang out a lot, and it’s never uncomfortable, particularly when they spend time one-on-one. It's great, even if Jungkook's feelings have gotten relegated to being some kind of kiddie crush. It's weird to live like that, to have everything out in the open and hidden all at once.
It escalated just once, just one night when Jungkook and Namjoon were hanging out together, just the two of them. It was a weeknight, the two of them pleasantly drunk on wine and each other's company. They had started on opposite ends of Namjoon’s couch. But Namjoon is clumsy, and when he'd sort of teetered off the couch, Jungkook had been helpless to do anything but follow him. And, god help the both of them, Jungkook is a flirty drunk. Bolder than usual. It doesn't make for a great combination, all things considered, Jungkook all drunk and flirty and pressed up against the long line of Namjoon's body. All pressed up against Namjoon, whose typical reservations about casual intimacy and touching have gone right out the window.
Whatever they were talking about before dissipates into the air around them, into the air between them, the negligible space between their two bodies.
“Listen,” Namjoon starts, the soupy sort of drunk where he starts philosophizing apropos of nothing. “I know you had a crush on me when we were in college. When we first met.”
“Right,” Jungkook acknowledges. He can feel his face and ears going a little red, a blush under the warm glow from the amount of wine he’s consumed. They’re being a little irresponsible on that end, honestly. They both have work in the morning.
“I always thought it was cute, but--” Namjoon continues, but Jungkook latches onto that admission before Namjoon can get anything else out of his mouth.
“And now?”
“What?”
“What do you think now?”
Namjoon is quiet, obviously thinking something over hard. Jungkook uses the silence to roll more onto Namjoon, trapping him on the carpet in front of the couch, hovering over him with his arms braced by Namjoon’s arms.
“Namjoonie-hyung. Don’t you think I’m pretty?”
“Jungkook,” Namjoon sputters, but Jungkook is on a roll.
“Hyung,” Jungkook whines, so, so close to Namjoon’s face. “Don’t you think I’m pretty? Please, hyung-ie. I need it.”
Namjoon brings a hand, slow but steady, to where Jungkook is all wet and needy, and the rest is a series of ill-thought-out decisions for a weeknight. They do somehow end up in Namjoon’s bed, rather than the floor, sleeping through what’s left of the night as a tangle of limbs. They barely talk in the morning, too busy trying not to be hungover and also not be late for their respective jobs.
It should be normal. It should be fine. They were drunk, sure, but no one took advantage of anyone else. They were both equally involved. And if Namjoon woke up in the light of day and decided, actually, he doesn’t want a repeat, that’s fine. That’s allowed! They’re adults, and Jungkook may have a crush, but he’s not an asshole. They’re friends, they’ll get over it.
Instead, Namjoon quietly distances himself from Jungkook. For months. And it kind of breaks Jungkook’s heart.
*
To: The Three Musketeers
Jungkook [2:20]
Has Namjoon-hyung been weird lately?
Taehyung [2:33]
Maybe?
He was supposed to get dinner with jin-hyung last week
Jin-hyung was complaining about it yesterday
Something about betrayal
And ungrateful dongseangs
Who cancel last minute
Jimin [2:35]
He was supposed to get coffee with me this morning
But he rescheduled
He said he has a project coming up at work that’s really important or something
Hobi-hyung saw him yesterday though
He told me joonie-hyung was all mopey
Taehyung [2:37]
Now that you mention it
He was kind of mopey the last time i saw him too
Jungkook [2:38]
Uh oh
Taehyung [2:39]
Uh oh?
Jimin [2:40]
Kookie
What'd you do?
Jungkook [2:41]
Nothing!
I mean
Something
But nothing too bad
I think
Taehyung [2:42]
What'd you do?
Hook up?
Jungkook [2:43]
…
Taehyung [2:44]
Nice!
Jimin [2:45]
Nice!
Jungkook [2:46]
Not nice!
I mean it was nice at the time
But now!
Not nice at all!
I think he regrets it
And now I can’t get him to talk to me alone at all
It’s okay if he regrets it
I just
I don’t know
Jimin [2:48]
Aw Jungkookie
It’s okay honey
You know he loves you a lot
Right?
Jungkook [2:49]
I feel like I messed everything up
Taehyung [2:50]
I don’t think you did
Jimin [2:51]
you know how he gets
Kind of in his head
He probably feels guilty or something
Just give him some time to think it through
Taehyung [2:53]
Yeah
Jungkook [2:54]
Thanks guys
Jimin [2:55]
You're very welcome
And if you want someone to fight him
We’re available
Taehyung [2:56]
Ditto
Jungkook [2:57]
Noted
And then -- well. And then, a handful of weeks later, Jungkook takes a pregnancy test.
***
“Listen,” Jungkook says, as Namjoon finishes choking on his coffee. “I know you regret it. Uh -- us hooking up, I mean. I know you regret that. And that’s okay. Really, that’s fine.”
“Wait, hold on--” Namjoon tries to say, but Jungkook is nervous, and all that nervous energy is being channeled right into rambling his head off.
“I just thought you deserved to know? And you don’t have to be involved with anything, I guess. But hopefully we can still be friends? Because honestly, hyung, this sucks and I don’t want it to get weirder, but it’s definitely already kind of weird, and I don’t know what to do--”
“Jungkook!” Namjoon says again, waving his hands like he’s trying to direct a plane to land safely in the middle of a tropical storm. “Jungkook, hold on a second. Hold on.”
Jungkook dutifully holds on, shutting his mouth with an audible click of his jaw, eyes wide the way he knows his face gets when he’s stressed.
“Okay,” Namjoon breathes deeply, in through his nose and out through his mouth, clenching his jaw in a way that Jungkook has always found stupidly attractive. “Okay. You’re pregnant, and it’s mine?”
The way Jungkook's hands had shaken when he took the stupid test has nothing on the way they’re shaking now. “Yeah.”
“Okay,” Namjoon’s voice is very steady, like he’s walking very deliberately between points on a checklist. “Okay, that’s -- thank you for telling me. Do you -- are you? Are you keeping it?”
Jungkook feels himself shrink. He’s a pretty muscular guy, he lifts weights and whatnot, but without much active input from his brain, Jungkook feels himself drawing his shoulders in closer, tucking his arms around his torso like he’s protecting himself from a blow or a strong wind. He feels the smallest he's felt in years, wispy, like he’s going to float away at any second.
Jungkook likes kids. He wants kids. He wants Namjoon’s kids, if he’s being perfectly honest. But he doesn’t want a child who’s not completely and wholly wanted.
“I don’t know.”
Namjoon looks probably the most visually conflicted Jungkook has ever seen him, his face flashing with pure emotion before he gets it under control.
“Okay, that’s okay. It’s -- you know. It’s your decision. It’s your body.”
Jungkook feels minuscule, like he’s the size of a speck of dirt that got kicked into the cafe off the back of someone’s shoe.
“What do you think I should do?”
“Jungkook -- I don’t think I should influence you.”
Oh man. That kind of sucks. Jungkook did say Namjoon didn’t have to be involved if he didn’t want to be. But Jungkook does still want Namjoon to want to be involved. Even if that feels like a stupid impulse at this point.
In the face of Jungkook’s carefully held silence, Namjoon winces.
“Okay, uh, at the risk of sounding like an asshole, or more like an asshole, um. If you do decide to keep the baby, please let me be a part of it? Let me be there for you? And for the baby. Uh, actually, even if you don’t keep the baby, please let me be there for you. I want to be there for you.”
Jungkook, to his utter mortification, starts to cry by the time Namjoon gets his jumble of words out of his mouth.
“But you hate me!”
Namjoon, blurry through Jungkook’s tears, looks the most shocked he’s been all morning.
“What? Oh god, Jungkook, I don’t hate you.”
“You do! We hooked up, and I made you uncomfortable and I’m pregnant with your child and I do want to keep it but not if you hate me, and now you hate me, and nothing makes sense anymore.”
“Oh, whoa, hey, that’s not--” Namjoon leaves his chair across the table from Jungkook entirely. They’re definitely causing a scene at this point, but, uncaring of the eyes on them, Namjoon just walks right over to where Jungkook is sitting, still hunched over and crying. He physically turns Jungkook’s chair out a little, so there’s enough of a gap between Jungkook and the table for Namjoon to sink to his knees, laying comforting hands on Jungkook’s thighs.
“Jungkook, c’mon. I don’t hate you. I’m not uncomfortable. I handled it badly, okay? I didn’t want to be just a stupid hook-up that we regretted, and I handled it badly. I don’t hate you at all. I can’t imagine there being a whole person who’s part you and part me that I wouldn’t want to know and cherish and take care of. I want to know, cherish, and take care of you. It’s gonna be okay. I promise I don’t hate you.”
Jungkook, still mumbling sort of pitifully, mumbles, “Do you want to have a baby with me?”
Namjoon, laughing a little, leans even further into Jungkook’s space, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s waist so he can lay his head on Jungkook’s stomach.
“Oh my god. Of course I do. I want to do everything with you, honey.”
*
To: Seokjinnie and the Six Babies
Jungkook [11:30]
Image attached: [selfie of Jungkook and Namjoon, holding a sonogram between them]
We’re expecting!
Jin [11:35]
Oh my god
Hoseok [11:36]
Oh my god
Yoongi [11:37]
Kim Namjoon are you kidding me
Is THIS what all of your collective angst was about?
Jimin [11:38]
Oh my god
Taehyung [11:38]
Oh my god
Namjoon [11:40]
<3
Jungkook [11:41]
<3!!!