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It's always darkest before the light

Summary:

It was just another day at the courthouse, or so Apollo thought. How did he end up cradling a bleeding Klavier Gavin, waiting for both their deaths? Hearing his darkest thoughts?
Trying to ensure he doesn't have any parting regrets?

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Apollo sighed as he closed the stall door of the courthouse bathroom and went about his business. This case was dragging something fierce, and it looked like they might have to go to a third day, because Payne kept on pushing points that might have something to do with the case, and the judge insisted on giving them due merit.

Suddenly, he heard the door slam open, and then another stall door also being slammed.

“-stupid prosecutor, who does he think he is, of course Billy’s innocent, but he stands there looking all flashy, does he think because he’s a rockstar he can do whatever he wants? I’ll show him-”

Normally, Apollo would’ve found it funny, and also relatable, that this man was apparently so aggravated by Prosecutor Gavin. But he kept hitting the stall walls and cursing, voice getting louder, and Apollo was actually kinda scared now. He decided to wait until the other had left before getting out of his own stall.

Unfortunately for him, the other man was taking forever, and his voice was getting louder, and Apollo had almost decided to leave when, finally, he heard the stall door open, the tap running, and the bathroom door open again.

As he washed his hands, he thought he heard shouts, but couldn’t be sure. He stepped outside and headed back towards courtroom number two. As he walked down the hallways, though, he began to feel uneasy; there was nobody around. No bailiffs, no other lawyers, no cops, nothing.

Weird. Had the courthouse been evacuated? Wouldn’t some kind of announcement have been made? Then again, if that had happened, he wouldn’t have heard it with how loud that other man was.

He reached his courtroom and there was nobody there, either. Not his defendant, not even a member of the gallery or something.

Okay, time to leave, he decided. If the courthouse had indeed been evacuated, he probably shouldn’t be in here.

Before he could start going towards the exit, though, he heard footsteps running. Should he follow, or stay away? Then he heard Prosecutor Gavin’s voice, calling for someone to stop.

He hesitated only a moment longer, and then went towards the sounds. After a minute of wandering, he entered a hallway and there, at its end, was Prosecutor Gavin running towards someone he couldn’t quite see. He got closer just as the other man disappeared behind a doorway, and then...

One single, loud gunshot.

Apollo froze in his tracks. He’d had no idea he’d been following someone carrying a gun. This was not his area of expertise; he didn’t know how to defend himself. He should probably just go to the front door, where he could find someone, and alert them.

Before he could move, however, he heard a pained groan in an unmistakable voice. Prosecutor Gavin had been shot.

Should he go get help? Yes, but he couldn’t leave the other there. He’d cautiously begun to approach the door at the end of the hallway, when it slammed shut.

What?

Caution forgotten, he ran the rest of the way towards it. He’d barely managed to turn the knob an inch when Gavin’s voice rang out.

“Stop!”

“Prosecutor Gavin, are you all right?” he asked. Maybe he hadn’t been shot after all? Why would he close the door then?

“Justice, is -ugh- is that you?”

“Yes, do you need help?” He started to turn the knob again, and again was stopped.

“Wait, wait!” Panting. “Don’t come in.”

“Why not?” Just then, he noticed a small trickle of red liquid coming from under the door. Blood.

Apollo’s own blood turned to ice in his veins. He did get shot. “Gavin, you need help!”

“He-” Klavier groaned. “Justice, the”, hiss, “the man who did this, he- ugh- he’s manufacturing this- highly contagious and deadly virus.” Heavy breathing. “And he just... infected me with it.”

“What!?” Since when did Prosecutor Gavin deal with stuff like that? Was it even real? It sounded more like something he’d see in a film, not real life. “Is that why the courthouse’s been evacuated?”

“Ja, we- we got word he was here, and- everyone was leaving, but I spotted him and- I shouldn’t have-”

“All the more reason to help you!”

“You can’t.” Another groan. “If you come in here... you’ll be infected too.” A hiss. “And there’s no known cure yet.”

“So what? You want me to just leave you here to bleed out?!”

“We suspect- ugh- that the man himself has the cure.” Gasp. “If the police catch him-”

His sentence dissolved into more pained noises. Apollo stood with a hand still on the doorknob, considering. If he went in, got infected, and the police didn’t manage to catch this man...

However, could he really leave Prosecutor Gavin to his fate? He had no idea how deep the other man’s wound was, but from the sound of it, it was bad. If he did nothing, then Gavin might...

The choice was easy. He opened the door, and the prosecutor was right there, lying on the ground, hands uselessly trying to stop his bleeding.

Oh, it was bad. The wound was in the abdominal area, which was never good news. Something vital might be compromised.

He might be too late already- no. He wasn’t going to think like that.

Gavin looked up at him as he sat down next to him and took off his vest. “Justice, what-”

“Shut up”, Apollo interrupted. As delicately as he could, he moved Gavin’s hands off the bullet hole. “I’m sorry about this”, he said, and then, using the vest as a makeshift bandage, pressed down on it.

Gavin couldn’t hold back his exclamation of pain. He hyperventilated for a few seconds before he managed to take control of it.

“Justice”, he said, “why?”

Apollo lifted his gaze to the prosecutor, and found him looking back in clear despair. “Did you really think I was going to leave you alone and bleeding out?”

“This is-” hiss- “life or death, Justice.”

“Apply that to yourself.”

“But you-”

“Stop talking”, he interrupted. “It clearly hurts you. Conserve your energy.”

Gavin listened, fortunately, and said nothing more as Apollo tried to find a position that would be more comfortable to hold for long while still letting him press the wound. The position, to his chagrin, turned out to be with one arm around Gavin’s back, holding him up while his hands held his (probably ruined now) vest against the bullet hole.

“We should call fräulein detective”, the prosecutor suddenly said.

“Oh, yeah.” Maybe they could get an ambulance... then again, if the virus really was as deadly and contagious as Gavin said, they probably wouldn’t.

Apollo took Gavin’s phone and called Ema, holding the device between his shoulder and his cheek. Of course, his thumbs had left bloody prints when he’d dialled, but it couldn’t be helped.

“What is it, fop?” Ema sounded impatient.

“Uh, it’s me, Apollo.”

“What? What are you doing calling from the fop’s phone?”

“We have, uh... a bit of a situation here. Gavin’s been shot-”

What?”

“-and he’s been infected with some virus he said you were researching?”

“And you’re there with him... which means you’re infected too, I presume.” Her voice was quiet.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll get every cop I can mobilise on this”, she promised. “Hell, I’ll go search for Smith myself if I have to. Hang in there. Both of you. How is the fop doing?”

Apollo looked down at the bloody mess on Gavin’s abdomen. “Could be better.”

“We’ll get help”, she said. “I swear.”

“Okay. Thanks, Ema.”

He let the phone drop and then leaned back against the door.

“What-did she say?”

“She’ll get all the hands she can on finding this guy.”

The prosecutor just hummed. Apollo wanted to say something comforting, but he had no idea what, so they just sat in silence, except for the other man’s occasional noises of pain.

It was strange to not be worried at all about the fact that he was infected and might die, too. Probably because it felt so surreal; when he’d woken up this morning, everything had been perfectly normal. Even the case he was handling was for robbery instead of murder. Nothing seemed particularly dangerous.

Should he be seeing his life flashing before his eyes? Reflecting on what he’d done and what he wished he could’ve accomplished? On whether he should’ve attempted to return to Khura’in?

Would that make him feel better? Probably not.

Some undefined amount of time later, Klavier spoke again.

“Justice... you shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t”, Apollo interrupted. “I wasn’t going to leave you here.”

“Why?” Gavin tried to sit up straighter, whimpered, and gave up. “You- don’t even like me.”

Ouch. Fair observation, but this was not the time to be mean. “I don’t... not like you.” The prosecutor just gave him a look, so he continued. “I think you’re insufferable at times, and far too much of a diva, but you’re the most fair prosecutor I’ve ever worked with. Your heart’s in the right place, that’s not so common.”

“You don’t- show it.”

“I know”, Apollo sighed.

“You might die. Not- fair.”

“It’s not fair if you die, either.”

Gavin shrugged. “Nobody- will care.”

That sent ice through his veins. “What? What are you talking about? Of course they will! Your fans-”

“Ach”, he interrupted. “Rephrasing.” He breathed deeply and whimpered again. “Nobody who- actually knows- me- will care.”

He hadn’t been prepared to hear something like this. It was much more horrifying than watching the man bleed out. “I repeat, what?”

“Ema doesn’t- like me. Other prosecutors- tolerate me. No family.”

It took him a moment to process that. It made him reconsider what he thought he knew about Prosecutor Gavin. He assumed the man had at least a dozen friends, all rich like him, and they went to expensive bars, or on luxury cruises, or whatever it was rich people did. At the very least, he’d assumed he was still in contact with his former bandmates (besides Daryan). Apparently not.

Still, he had to ask. “What about your friends? The rest of the Gavinners?”

Gavin shook his head. “Not- in contact. Too...painful.”

Well, that made sense. Not that that made it any less tragic. “Anybody else?”

“Got rich- young. Got taken- advantage of. Have to be... careful. And...”

“And?” Apollo prompted, although by now he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the rest. He sometimes thought his life was depressing, but clearly it could be worse.

“And... don’t have- the best judgement.”

Oof. Another thing that made sense. And was utterly devastating.

Was someone like Klavier freaking Gavin really this... lonely? Did he not let himself have people close, because he feared having to prosecute them one day, as he’d done with his brother and former bandmate?

Apparently so. Apollo vowed to himself that, if they both got out of this, he’d do his best to be the other man’s friend. He may be irritating, but he didn’t deserve to feel like he had nobody in this world.

Apollo knew what that felt like, after all. He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy, and Klavier Gavin was certainly not that.

For now, though, he could try to provide some comfort. “Well, I will care if you’re gone, Gavin.”

“Klavier.”

“Huh?”

The other man smiled. Somewhat. “Cradling my- bleeding body. Too formal.”

Oh. Fair enough. “I’ll care if you’re gone, Klavier. So will Trucy, and I know Ema’s not the friendliest with you, but she won’t be happy if you die.” Bemoaning about someone was one thing, after all. Them actually passing away was another thing entirely.

“Perhaps.”

There was a moment of silence.

“You know, for someone so arrogant I wouldn’t have imagined your self-esteem was actually that low.”

Klavier shrugged. “Can do- my job. That’s what- matters. Makes me- useful.”

By this point, Apollo just wanted Gavin- Klavier to stop talking, really. Somehow, everything he said made it worse. He was going to make absolutely sure to be there for him from now on, and would tell Trucy to do the same.

Klavier apparently thought he was worthless. He would show him otherwise.

X

Apollo had no idea how much time had passed, but he could tell that the virus was starting to affect him.

At least it wasn’t painful, nor did it make him feel sick. He just felt... lethargic. His blood pressure was probably down. Was his heart beating slower, too? Maybe. What little strength he still had left went into continuing to press Klavier’s wound.

He had quieted, too. Apollo spoke to him occasionally, to ensure he remained awake. If he lost consciousness... Apollo wasn’t sure he’d regain it.

It was a terrifying thought. (If not for the virus, it would probably cause a stronger reaction from him.)

“Apollo?” Klavier mumbled.

“Yes?”

“If we- don’t make it”, an increasingly likely scenario, “do you- regret?”

“I already told you, I wasn’t going to leave you-”

“Nein, nein”, Klavier interrupted. “In general.”

“Oh. Uh...”

“Anything you- didn’t do? That you... wanted to?”

Apollo hid his worry at how Klavier’s pauses had changed. They’d gone from him wincing in pain to finding the strength to speak at all.

“Umm... well, I would’ve liked the chance to travel.”

It was strange to speak like this. Like his life was forfeit. It still didn’t register with him.

“Where?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to go to Khura’in, after all. “Somewhere with a nice beach, maybe.”

“I see.”

“And you?”

For the first time since this whole thing had started, he felt his bracelet react. Huh. “Nothing much”, Klavier said. “Did lots.”

Should he let him have his lie? Then again, if they were both about to go... was there a point? “You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?”

Klavier’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Ach”, he said. “Forgot that.”

“Why hide it from me? Especially now? When we...” he couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud. They sounded so hopeless.

The other looked away. “Embarrassing”, he admitted.

“I won’t judge”, Apollo promised.

Klavier stared at him for a few moments before sighing. “Fine. Wanted... to kiss you.”

Apollo’s brain screeched to a halt. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it sure as hell wasn’t that.

What!?

Did that mean... that Klavier liked him? Why? How? Since when!?

“Really?” he said, and immediately wanted to slap himself. What a dumb response.

Klavier just nodded. Apollo wondered if he would’ve been blushing in other circumstances. When he could spare the blood. (And wasn’t that an awful thought.)

The other man seemed to expect no other reply, because his eyes became hazy, just like they’d been before he started this conversation.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just say ‘well, let’s do that then’, could he? That would be a bad idea.

Wouldn’t it?

He wouldn’t know. He’d never dated, much less kissed anyone. Hadn’t really dared let anyone close enough to him, not like that, not after being abandoned in a foreign country by the man he’d called his father.

Then again... he had let Trucy, and Mr. Wright, close. Had let them become sort of his family.

Would it really be so bad to let Klavier have his wish? And as for him, well, he hadn’t really had ‘kissing someone’ in his bucket list, but it wouldn’t hurt. Probably.

“Okay”, he said.

Klavier looked at him, confused. “Okay?” he echoed.

“I, um... I’ve never actually kissed anyone”, he confessed.

Klavier looked surprised. “How come?”

“I... had my reasons”, Apollo dodged, not feeling like getting into it right now. If these were really his final moments, the last thing he wanted to do was spend them thinking about a hurtful past he couldn’t change.

He’d rather focus on the now.

“So”, he continued, “if you wanted... we could...” Klavier may not have been able to blush at the moment, but Apollo was sure he was red enough for both of them now.

The prosecutor was staring at him intensely, like he was trying to decide if he was serious. Finally, he sighed. “Don’t need... to pity... me.”

“That’s not what this is”, Apollo immediately argued. “Just... at this point, why not? I can’t do anything about my regrets, but I can help with yours.”

Klavier continued staring, before eventually giving him a small smile. “If you... insist. Come. Can’t... go.”

Apollo swallowed and began leaning closer at a glacial pace.

His brain was too sluggish to truly panic, but it was doing its best. What did he think he was doing? Klavier was a rockstar, he’d probably kissed a lot of people while Apollo had no idea what he was doing, he was going to ruin Klavier’s illusion and-

-their lips met.

Oh.

It was... nice. Klavier’s lips were soft and moved gently against his. Apollo tried to inexpertly mimic his movement, and the prosecutor tilted his head so they could slot together more easily. He wished he could’ve used his hands, but they were busy and sticky with blood at the moment. So all the contact they had was their mouths, pressing and testing different angles.

There were no fireworks, but it was pleasant enough for Apollo to wish he’d done it more.

Eventually, he pulled back. The smile Klavier regaled him with was absolutely breathtaking.

“Danke”, he mumbled.

Apollo was sure his face was the colour of his bloody vest by now. “Yeah, um, you’re welcome.” He leaned back against the door, and if his arms tightened around Klavier a bit more, neither of them mentioned it.

X

Apollo had almost drifted off when Klavier’s phone started ringing. He picked up, noting he’d probably owe Klavier a new phone after this, the device filthy with blood now.

“Apollo!” Ema’s voice said. “Are you guys okay?”

He looked at Klavier’s pale face. His eyes were almost completely closed now. “Define ‘okay’”, he said.

“We caught Smith! The police raided his lab and found an antidote, we’re on our way. You guys are at the courthouse, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Hang on tight. We’ll be there.”

Twenty minutes later, the door on which Apollo was leaning was opened a fraction and two small bottles were passed along. After they drank the disgusting contents, doctors were finally able to come in and help Klavier.

Both of them had to go to the hospital. Apollo was tested for the virus and his result came back negative; Klavier, meanwhile, had to have surgery for his bullet wound.

Apollo sat in the waiting room all the while. Normally, that wouldn’t be allowed, but his next of kin was in jail. The defence lawyer’s heart squeezed in his chest when a nurse told him that. Klavier wasn’t lying when he said he had nobody.

His mind kept going back to that kiss. How much he’d like to repeat it. Although the self-deprecating part of him wondered if Klavier wanting to kiss him hadn’t been bloodloss-induced delirium, he knew that made no sense.

Did he like Klavier? He found him annoying, sure, but he also knew he was a good guy. A great one, even. His arrogance was more of an act that anything (he knew that even more certainly now). He was just... afraid of trusting anyone. Like Apollo.

Well, they could try, right? At least one date or something.

He shared some of what the prosecutor had told him with Trucy, who’d come to the hospital as soon as she got word. (He definitely did not tell her they’d kissed.) She’d hugged him and teared up when she saw him. Now, she sat with him.

“Aww, look at you”, she teased. “Didn’t think you cared that much about him.”

“Neither did I”, he muttered.

“Next thing you know, you’ll be dating him”, she said, nudging him.

He choked. Had she guessed what he was hiding from her? “What? How did you come to that conclusion?”

“Come on, haven’t you noticed how he flirts with you?”

He had, however... “He flirts with everyone”, he argued.

“And you did risk your life for him. Most people would think that’s romantic.” She batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly.

He groaned. “Would you stop?” Privately, he wondered if Klavier did think it was romantic.

She giggled. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop if you tell me one thing.” He looked at her suspiciously. “Do you think he’s cute?”

“I’m done with this conversation.” Mostly because if he kept going, she’d get the truth out of him.

Two months later, when he told Trucy they were dating, she’d bestowed him with the smuggest smile he’d ever seen. (She teased him endlessly about it, but he got to kiss Klavier all he wanted so it was a fair trade-off, in his humble opinion.)