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The first few hours after Callie and Sol rescue Calder from the helm are a blur. Callie doesn’t leave his side, her arm hooked through his, and Sol spends most of it perched on Calder’s shoulders.
Calder doesn’t mind. They’re warm, and he hasn’t felt warmth in… too long. He can feel their every breath, keeping him rooted in his body and in this plane, never letting his mind drift too far.
At some point, they have to separate-- for dinner, for Calder to get his equipment back in order, for them to prepare for the journey back to Irondeep.
It’s somewhere in the middle of all that that Calder notices it.
Every once in a while, when Calder gets close, Callie will reach for him, and then catch herself-- pulling her hand back instead. And every time, Calder catches Sol watching, his expression twisting into conflicted sadness.
Calder does what he can, bumping his shoulder into Callie’s, shooting Sol a reassuring smile, but one thing is clear: something happened while he was gone, and as happy as they are to have him back, something’s still wrong.
He catches Sol on the balcony, while Callie is inside helping the others with the serpents.
“Sol,” he says, his voice still raspier than usual from not being used for so long. “Is everything okay?”
Sol snaps to attention and looks up at Calder with a smile. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” he asks. “We got you back.”
Calder knows that, but… “Callie keeps stopping herself from taking my hand,” he says. “And you seem… sad.”
“Oh! Well, that’s--” Sol’s expression crumples, just a bit, before he goes back to the smile. “It’s-- you should really talk to Callie about that. We… we missed you, Calder.”
“I missed you too, Sol,” Calder says. He kneels down to Sol’s height, holding his arms out for a hug.
After a second’s hesitation, Sol throws himself against Calder, wrapping his arms around Calder’s neck. “I’m sorry it took so long,” he whispers, his hands shaking as they clutch at the shaggy ends of Calder’s hair.
“Don’t be,” Calder replies, holding Sol to his chest as solidly as he can. “You came.”
They stay like that for a while, listening to the sounds of Molscuriel and the muffled voices of their friends inside. Then--
“I thought when we got you back, it’d… fix it,” Sol whispers against Calder’s shoulder. “Callie, I… I think she got scared. That she cared too much, and it put you in danger.”
Calder rubs Sol’s back gently, letting him speak.
“And for a while she seemed better, but… I don’t know why she keeps stopping herself. I don’t know how to help. I could barely help after you were-- taken, and I still can’t.”
“Sol,” Calder says softly, still rubbing his back. “I’m sure you helped.” He’s certain, even though he wasn’t there.
Sol shakes his head. “Not enough. And now…”
Calder pulls back from their hug, putting his hands on Sol’s shoulders. He forgot, in their time apart, how small Sol was compared to him.
“Let’s talk to her,” he says, offering Sol a reassuring smile.
“But you just got back. We should be celebrating.”
Calder shakes his head. As much as he’s happy to be back… “There’s a lot we should talk about.”
Sol sighs. “I guess so,” he says. “Let’s get Callie.”
“We can wait until the others sleep,” Calder says. “In the meantime…” He leans close to Sol, as if he’s sharing a secret. “Next time Callie reaches for me, I’ll just take her hand.”
“Really?” Sol asks, his face lighting up.
“Yeah.” Calder frowns. “While I was gone, did you not…”
“No!” Sol says quickly. “I held her hand. I never let go of it if I could help it. Just…” He looks down. “I don’t think I did a very good job.”
“I know you. You would have done everything you could,” Calder says, squeezing Sol’s shoulder.
Sol gives him a shaky smile. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah. Let’s… go inside. We don’t want to keep everyone waiting.”
They’ll talk about it in time. If there’s one thing Calder’s learned to be good at, it’s patience.
“Alright,” Calder says, letting Sol lead him back inside.
--
Calder keeps his word-- the next time Callie hesitates, he closes the gap, taking her hand and pulling her towards him.
It’s in the middle of a conversation. They’re all gathered around, Kenna explaining something to Jaina, and Callie doesn’t comment on it. She just tenses for a moment before relaxing into it, leaning into Calder’s side while listening intently to Kenna’s story.
Calder catches Sol’s eye where he’s tucked away on the other side of Callie and winks, earning himself a smile.
--
When they settle down for bed, pulling their sleeping bags together on a giant sized cot, Calder makes sure to put his next to Callie’s. It leaves him between her and Kenna, who has curled up against Hardwon, with Sol on Callie’s other side and Jaina laying a few feet away towards one end of the cot.
Calder waits for Hardwon and Kenna to start snoring behind him before turning to Callie. She’s laying on her back with Foster on her stomach, staring up at the cavern above them.
“I know you noticed,” she whispers as Calder turns to face her.
Calder smiles, scooting just a bit closer. “It was hard not to,” he replies.
Callie looks down at Foster, then waves her hand past Calder. Hardwon’s snoring cuts off abruptly at the Silence spell, preventing the others from hearing them.
Calder takes that as permission to go on. “Callie,” he says gently, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Callie’s face scrunches up. “No.” She sighs. “I’m sorry, Calder. We took so long to get you back and now I can’t even…”
“Can’t even?” Calder prompts.
“Do this--” Callie gestures upwards, earning a small quack from Foster-- “right.”
“You can’t be happy, because you’re also scared?” Calder asks.
Callie finally looks over at him, searching his face for something. It’s different, seeing her wintery form. The last time he saw her, she was all spring flowers, bright and blooming. Now frost dusts her cheeks, strange and almost nostalgic for him.
“I don’t want to lose you again,” Callie says finally. “I held on too tight last time and look where it got you.”
“It got me here.” Calder reaches over to tuck Callie’s hair behind her ear, brushing his fingers past the winter berries dotted through it. “I did it because I knew you’d come for me.”
Sol’s head pokes up from Callie’s other side, catching Calder’s eye over Callie. “Yeah,” Sol says, smiling down at Callie. “You brought Calder home.”
“Both of you did,” Calder says.
“Well yeah.” Callie sighs, squishing Foster to her chest. “But if I didn’t… if I wasn’t so… Glen only got the upper hand because I’m so fucking sentimental.”
“Licorice is only free because of your heart,” Calder says, looking down at the serpents coiled by Callie’s feet.
“Honeysuckle too, remember? You got through to him,” Sol adds. Calder didn’t see it, but he believes it.
Callie is quiet for a long time. Sol meets Calder’s eyes again, his brow furrowed with worry.
“Callie,” Calder says, as gently as he can. “Talk to us.”
“I…” Callie groans, curling in on herself, burying her face in Foster’s feathers. “I’m scared, okay?” she says, voice muffled. “I’m scared I’m gonna fucking lose you again. And it’s stupid, because we just got you back, and I know you don’t wanna leave us again, and there’s not even any Ultrus anymore, but-- it’s better, isn’t it? To do what my mother did, to take a step back, so that it doesn’t hurt as bad when everything goes to shit?”
Sol puts an arm around Callie, looking even more concerned. “Callie…”
Calder could tell Callie that he admires her heart. He could tell her that he’s only here because of it. He could promise her that nothing would take him from her again.
Instead, he reaches over her to wrap his arms around Sol, pulling them both into his chest. “I’m scared, too,” he says.
Callie peeks up from Foster’s feathers, searching Calder’s face.
Calder smiles. “You did what I couldn’t do. And you got stronger. What if I’m just slowing you down, now. What if I can’t keep you safe when it matters.”
He thinks about all the times he couldn’t keep up with his brothers, all the times he tried to help and just ended up needing them or his mother to save him.
“So what,” Callie asks, her eyes wet with tears. “We just be terrified forever?”
Calder shakes his head. “No,” he says. “We do what we always have. We look out for each other. We trust each other to finish the job.”
“Calder’s right,” Sol says. “We’ve never been the smartest, or the strongest, or the best, but we’re Duck Team. We stick together.”
Callie sniffs, hiding her face in Foster’s back again. “I want to, I’m just scared.”
“When Albie or I would get scared at Launchpad, we’d hold each other’s hands.” Sol reaches over to gently pry Callie’s hand from Foster’s feathers, lacing their fingers together. “It’d still be scary, but it helped.”
Calder can see Callie’s fingers trembling against Sol’s. “Theater kid hand squeeze?” she asks, voice wavering.
“Theater kid hand squeeze,” Sol replies, squeezing her hand.
Callie looks up at Calder. “Calder?” she asks.
“Calliope.” He offers her a smile.
“I missed you,” Callie says softly, like she’s scared of it.
“I missed you too,” Calder replies, pulling both her and Sol into his chest.
“I--” she starts, then stops. “I missed you,” she says again.
Calder knows what she means. “Me too,” he says. “Both of you.”
“And… Calder’s right,” Sol says, catching Calder’s eye with a smile. “We are stronger now. You’re standing taller, too, Calder. We took down an ancient dragon, and… whatever comes next, we’ll be together.”
“Yeah.” Callie smiles, too, even if it’s a bit shaky. “And if you’re not tall enough, I’ll just cast Enlarge on you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Calder says.
Callie winks. “I know.” She hesitates. “Thank you. Both of you. I needed that.”
“Always, Callie,” Sol says, squeezing Callie’s hand again. “It’s good to be together again.”
“Yeah,” Callie says softly. “Can we stay like this? Just for a while? If you don’t want to, it’s--”
“I’d love to,” Calder interrupts, as Sol nods vigorously in agreement. It’s the easiest request in the world to grant.