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"Fuck, dude, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, man, please, I ju-"
He didn't fucking mean it. He swears he didn't. They were arguing, emotions were flowing over the top, and he genuinely did not mean to hit that. Joey wants to fall onto his knees and beg for forgiveness as he watches Corey's expression change from the usual snarl he carried to shock to the worst thing ever - betrayal.
Corey had told him about his own horrible dating past. Constant control, watchful eyes following him everywhere, and a sharp tongue that always knew how to position itself to send the most hurtful, the most explosive bullet into his heart. Joey hugged him then. Said he won't ever be like that, said Corey's safe with him, said that he loves him more than anything and a bunch of other shit Joey won't bother to remember now, since it all feels like absolute bullshit.
He had tried. Really, he had. He tried to be as supportive as he could be, always walk alongside Corey, and stitch himself together enough so he'd be considered human enough to love back. Joey swore to himself that he wouldn't fuck it up this time. He promised.
But everything he said either to himself or to Corey now feels like a huge white lie slapped over a red warning sign - "he's just like them". Joey proved both to himself and to Corey that he's just like those fucking people. He tried so hard to fucking get over himself, to contain the venom that was probably woven into his veins and the thing that made him fundamentally unlovable - and still fucking couldn't.
"Corey, I didn’t.. Please, I..."
Joey feels locked in place. Everything looks like a bad music video - Corey's hurt expression, his fists that clench and unclench slowly, and the sinking feeling that positions itself in Joey's stomach, dragging him lower and lower and lower. Joey wants to fall onto his knees and beg for forgiveness as he watches Corey's expression change from the usual snarl he carried to shock to the worst thing ever - betrayal.
He betrayed him. And there's no going back. And even if he didn't mean it, everything he said before is a huge white lie.
He's just like them.