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The school year was over, ASOME was gone. Everyone else had gone back to their normal lives. Everyone else was happy, enjoying the break, hanging out with friends and discussing the events, giggling and ranting.
That couldn't be said for Bloodgood, Rochelle, Robecca, Venus, Operetta, Wydowna, Jinather, Skelita, Cleo, and Toralei.
Watching most of the others, including their other friends and even some teachers, laugh about everything and get to move on felt painful and cruel. They were left to wallow in the aftermath of everything, only a few people offering some of them sympathy and condolences. They were still scared, paranoid, jumpy, worried, a few of them even agressive. Some tried to force themselves to move on, to dissociate and disconnect, others let out their anger and stress, and the rest just drowned in their misery and trauma.
Rochelle was both the former and the latter. She was trying her hardest to move on and steel herself, to be available for her friends and the rest, but she couldn't help the way her throat tightened, how she flinched at certain sounds or words, the way she'd sometimes quickly back up if someone got too close.
It was torture. Despite how long and detailed it was, the Gargoyle Code of Ethics hardly helped her right now. It sounded so logical, so methodical, so correct, but it didn't work. The advice it gave her was ineffective and only left her more worried and mentally beating herself, questioning what could be wrong with her if she couldn't follow the code to the letter.
Her ethics had been challenged for some time now. Everything over in Scaremerica was so different, it was hard to adjust to a world that didn't follow things her way, a world that made her go against the code and question it. Right now, she is faced with one of the hardest questions yet...
Garrot, oh Garrot, the man that he is. He had flown to see her once the school year ended, and he'll fly back with her to Scaris near the end of June, but his main goal at the moment was making sure Rochelle was okay.
Once he had been freed from Moanatella's underground prison, he had gone back to regular messaging with Rochelle. She got him up to date on what he had missed and what was happening at the moment, each new one making him more worried for her safety and angry that nothing was being done about it, the latter worsening when he tried contacting law enforcement himself, only for them to do nothing.
With ASOME gone, at least for now, so are a few problems. Things are better, but not good.
Monster High thankfully allowed dorming students to stay on school grounds if they had nowhere safe to go immediately. This allowed Rochelle, her roommates, and Garrot to stay in the chamber of Gore and Lore, the gargoyle couple staying until the day of travel, and Robecca and Venus likely for the whole summer. Garrot slept in bed with Rochelle, which thankfully wasn't a problem thanks to the stone bedframe.
On his third day, while Robecca and Venus were out on a walk around campus, Garrot decided it might be good to have a deeper conversation about the events with Rochelle. He's gotten some details from the letters, but he wants to hear what'll come out of Rochelle's mouth.
Garrot walked up to Rochelle in the kitchen, who had just finished making a sandwich, and hugged her loosely from the side, bringing his hand up to push Rochelle's head closer. Rochelle leaned and melted into the touch, blushing faintly, but she could tell that there was something tense about him. She had a feeling of what he was going to say
" ... That woman, the one who tormented you and your friends, who assaulted some of them... " Garrot took a breath before continuing, " did she actually succeed in hurting you any further ? I'm sure you likely would've told me if she did, but trauma and decisions can be complex, so if you left anything out either by accident, fear, something, I would understand. "
His voice was gentle and careful, making sure he didn't strike a crack in Rochelle and make the topic any more difficult than it needs to be. She could feel it, and it made her feel safe, but also nervous. Reminders of Sylphia Flapper and ASOME in general seemed to stir something ugly and expired inside of her.
She set her food down on the kitchen counter on the plate she had made it on, licking the crumbs off before drying her hand and then gripping Garrot's shirt, starting to tremble a little.
Seeing her so scared and vulnerable brought Garrot a rare sadness, the corners of his mouth dropping a little more.
" I'm not sure... It's very weird to say, I know, but... " Rochelle's face scrunched a little, brows furrowing, " ... You already know about her repeated attempts to get at least one of us alone with her, asking Robecca out, isolation through rumors, bribing, stalking... But she has grazed her hand on my shoulders and head, with her tail brushing my waist and rear once. "
She shuddered, recalling all of those events at once, feeling that sickness rising up to her throat for a moment. Then came guilt.
" Ouhh, saying this out loud instead of thinking it in my head makes me realize it's more serious. I should have told you... " Rochelle said solemnly, tearing up at the realization. The first part of it being that she hadn't told Garrot, the love of her life and her closest loved one, about those details, and the second part was starting to come in, sinking deeper into Rochelle's brain that that had really happened. Not just real; really real.
It may not have been groping, it may not have been rape, but it was still uncomfortable and gross. Boundaries were being pushed, risks were made, all so that Rochelle could feel uncomfortable and be used ever so slightly, a sick teaser trailer to what would've happened if she was ever alone with the false teacher.
Why hadn't she realized this before ?! She knew Sylphia was a predator, but why hadn't this sunk in until just now ?! What was she doing ?! This is far from becoming of a gargoyle...
Garrot kissed the top of her head with his love and care, and gripped her harder with his anger and protectiveness, eyes closing as his chest connected to hers.
" Ma cheri, it was a stressful situation. A safe space for learning and interacting with friends was disrupted by something you couldn't have been prepared for. Your biggest concerns should've been those creaky stairs and grades, not a woman who wanted to use you like she had with so many girls before you, not an organization who wanted to take you prisoner and saw you as less than, not having to stop both of them with your friends and minimal support because most of the adults here didn't help you. " Garrot said, his voice husky and serious as he comforted and reassured Rochelle, but also not sugarcoating the reality. His hand started running through her hair, his fingers combing through her soft locks slowly.
Rochelle couldn't help it, a few tears starting to fall down her cheeks.
" You're right. The guilt, regrets, and doubt cannot leave me so easily, though... "
She wiped her tears away, hoping to keep down the massive waterworks of a gargoyle and to not stain Garrot's clothes.
" I just feel so useless... I didn't go to the police- "
" You were discouraged. "
" -I didn't warn Skelita and Jinather- "
" Admittedly a stupid decision, but one you can atone and apologize for. "
" I badgered Wydowna, along with Venus, into talking about ASOME- "
" Also a little stupid, and also something you can atone and apologize for, but there were good intentions behind it and there weren't many other ways to get that type of information. "
" I- just- "
Rochelle let out a shaky exhale. Despite her earlier fear of ruining Garrot's attire, she subconsciously dug her claws into his shirt.
" ... I lived off of those ethics. The code's advice and rules guided me through life for so long, and now I've been defying so much of it constantly. I feel like a fraud. I feel like I should have done better. I should have ! What's wrong with me ?! " Rochelle cried, tears finally spilling dramatically. She couldn't hold it back anymore, all of the stress, doubts, confusion, and fear jailbreaking, making her breakdown and collapse onto Garrot.
He was mildly taken aback by this, but not surprised. Rochelle is by far the most sensitive person he knows, it wouldn't have been much longer before all of that spilled out of her like a raging tsunami.
He didn't mind, really. He really enjoyed taking care of Rochelle. In some way, he looked forward to moments where she needed comfort and someone to talk to. If he had to choose why she needed either of those things, though, it would never be anything close to the hell she had to go through.
Garrot's grip on Rochelle didn't wane, letting her cry it out. He slowly walked towards an open window, taking Rochelle with him, the tears flooding as the breakdown intensified. She was breathing heavily with each sob, the pain coming out of her intensely.
Feeling the breeze from the open window, Rochelle reluctantly let go of the comfort Garrot provided to let her tears spill outside instead, poking her head out.
Among her hysterics, Rochelle tried to continue.
" I don't understand why I couldn't follow the rules like usual !? Now I messed everything up ! "
" Rochelle, ma cheri, I'll wait for you to let it all out before I say something rude... "
Most people would find that alarming, a clear sign that they've done something wrong are being insulted, but Rochelke has known Garrot long enough to know that what he was going to say was more than likely genuine criticism. It made her feel slightly better, actually, but not better enough.
She kept sobbing for the next few minutes, with Garrot giving her back rubs and cheek kisses, whispering loving words into her ear, a stark and welcoming contrast to the whole whisper situation, a reminder that the simple act of whispering can actually bring joy.
Rochelle is sure that without his support, she would at best be on the floor or hanging too far out of the window.
Once those few minutes were over, Rochelle started to relax. She hadn't stopped crying, soft sniffles and little tears still escaping her, but she was stabilizing again. The breakdown might come back to that level of intensity again at any moment, but she was just left shaking and feeling pathetic for now.
Garrot pulled Rochelle back into his arms, this time from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.
" Did that make you feel better ? "
" Somewhat... N-now, what- did you want to say ? "
Garrot hummed thoughtfully, " you know I don't fully trust the Gargoyle Code of Ethics. It treats things too simply, like there are only a set few ways to do certain things correctly. But I know they are very important to you. However, you must understand, not everything is perfect. "
" I know that already... "
" You know it, but you don't experience it. "
" Wh- what do you mean ? "
" Blindly trusting authority, blindly trusting the code. You did not start questioning them until your beliefs were challenged, and your answer to the latter is that you're the one at fault. We all have our flaws, but so do social constructs. Monster High was never perfect, but did you consider it broken before everything happened ? "
" No... "
" Venus can be mean, Robecca can be foolish, but do you consider them as something that needs fixing ? That everything bad that happens to them because of their flaws means that they are inherently incorrect beings ? " Garrot questioned genuinely. His tone lacked much emotion, but it carried purpose and a goal: to try and get through to Rochelle, to help her mind open up that window and start opening it, to keep her from being trapped in the darkness, aimlessly looking for the answer to her problems.
Those questions made her pause for a minute, considering them and what each possible answer meant. The reasoning behind his words was completely logical to her. She could partially see where this was going.
" No, they are not... "
Garrot hummed again, giving her another kiss.
" You have your own things to work on, that much is true, but you will not help yourself with a set of rules that is not subjective to you. Make your own rules for yourself if you want to, just don't let anything or anyone tell you that you are wrong for not being able to do things others can. "
Rochelle sighed, nodding and seeing a bit of the light, illuminating a small part of and seeing herself in a slightly different vision. It was strange to be told these things, even if they weren't out of place from someone like Garrot, who had told her things along these lines before. The strangeness came from simply getting used to hating herself and mentally scolding herself again, especially from how much stronger the self hatred was this time. In the past, she'd have small moments where she'd question herself, wonder why she didn't follow the rules to a T, but this was much bigger...
She groaned, leaning against Garrot like a limp noodle.
" ... I'll try to remember that. Right now, I still feel terrible. These guilts and regrets haven't gone away yet. I'm sorry... "
" These things take time, my love. Mental health, trauma, just people in general are too complex to compartmentalize and fix on a whim. It will take a while, it will take support, perhaps even therapy, but I believe in you. " Garrot assured, a small smile playing on his face, which Rochelle copied weakly.
" Thank you, my hero... Oh, you do so much for me. I owe you far more than just saving you from the Scaris catacombs. "
Garrot chuckled, shaking his head.
" If I wanted more than just love and basic respect and gratitude from you, you would have known by now. The only additional thing I want from you at this moment is to just focus on relaxing. "
Rochelle started making a gruff purring noise as she started to settle, the breakdown from earlier had exhausted her almost completely. Rochelle's tired expression would make Garrot's tail wag if he had one.
" I have been through a lot, yes. I could really use a break. A big break. How long ? I don't know. But- I- can't force myself to think up everything on the spot ! "
" That's it. Exactly that. Now, do you still want to eat your food ? Once you're done, if you don't think you're going to start sobbing again, we can go shower and lay down. " Garrot asked, grabbing the plate of food, the sandwich, and handed it to Rochelle, careful that his stoney claws don't break the porcelain.
Rochelle gasped and hit herself on the head, having completely forgotten about her snack.
" Oof ! I can't believe I- I forgot ! Thank you... "
She took the plate, eating the sandwich over it, taking a small bite and chewing slowly. While she'd normally eat with a fork and knife, she simply felt too tired to grab either. This would've been one of the things she'd shame herself for, but keeping in mind Garrot's advice, she didn't feel too bad about it for now. Maybe later she'll think back on it and huff in disappointment, but everything is a work in progress.
Taking a gulp, she licked her teeth and lips before going on, " and- as for the sobbing, maybe. Ough... I'm still having flashbacks. Not only do I want to rip myself apart for my mistakes and choices, but I also can't help but feel so terrible for every victim of that awful organization. " Rochelle said, voice going from solemn to mildly angered, taking a slightly more aggressive bite of her sandwich.
" ASOME... Fuck them. Those racist, classist, fascist, queerphobic, abusive child kidnappers and rapists ! " Garrot growled, his jaw tightening, teeth pressing together, " There aren't enough words to describe their kind of evil. Even Moanatella had her redeeming qualities and tragic story behind her. These creatures cannot be considered monsters like us, but monsters in the normie sense... "
" Exactly. I have never felt such hatred in my life, not even for the angels that took so many of our people. Seeing my friends lose trust in people, be scared of affection, get groomed, be ridiculed or not taken seriously... "
Rochelle huffed, taking another bite and gulping before continuing, her sadness currently taking second place to a heating rage, as though the suffering of the innocents at the hands of ASOME was used as fuel, " My friends and I will be tainted by these events for a long time. It will be years later, and I'll most likely still see the after effects of what those creatures did. And they'll keep doing all of these awful things to other people until they're all stopped ! "
" If only there was a quick solution. Other than nuclear weaponry, obviously. But if given the chance, I would at least murder that white dragon who wanted to rape you. "
" I want her dead as well, only if there were no major consequences. ASOME most likely would not take lightly to the murder of one of their best members. "
" Mmm. The reality that she's valuable to anyone is laughable. "
" I don't see how it's- ohhh, of course. "
Rochelle finished her sandwich, went to the sink, washed the plate, and put it to dry on a rack. She'd use the washing machine, but it needed repairs.
" I'll go wash my hands and come back. " " Do you also want to shower together ? " " Oui oui ! T-that would be great ! "
Garrot smiled, closing the window before following, while Rochelle beamed through her negative emotions. The couple headed over to the bathroom excitedly, getting ready to wash up and end the day.
Rochelle went to the bathroom sink and washed her hands first, while Garrot quickly undid his clothes.
She caught a glimpse of him undressing through the mirror, making her blush heavily, her heart drumming excitedly. Her face heated up more seeing him purposefully back up, making himself clearer in the mirror. It seemed like things were going well. They'd been naked and showered together before, so all should be okay. This is exactly what they both, mostly Rochelle, needed.
Rochelle finished washing her hands, undoing her own clothes, setting them next to Garrot's.
The couple got into the shower, turning it on and washing themselves and each other together. As much as Rochelle was feeling better, there was still something ugly in her, making her feel uncertain.
Sylphia had done well in making her and her friends second guess safe spaces and themselves. Rochelle would sometimes see or feel her own naked body and shudder, knowing that this is something the woman would want. As if she didn't already hate her body enough, she had started developing new negative thoughts, disgusted at herself, as though she were purposefully attracting the predator.
That's not true. Rochelle knows she doesn't want Sylphia in any way, but it's one of many things she's yet to understand.
Right now, she just tried to focus on the moment with Garrot, someone who genuinely loved her, and she could undress without the fear of Sylphia wanting to take a peak.
She rubbed soap along his back and wings, taking a little longer than usual as she let her touch linger, letting herself get lost in the moment and mentally escaping from the fear Sylphia instilled in her.
Garrot purred gruffly, wings fluttering ever so slightly in delight.
“ Mmm, that's nice… “
“ You like it when I do that ? “ Rochelle responded, a little teasing in her voice.
“ Absolutely~ “
Rochelle giggled, continuing her ministrations for a few more seconds, absorbing the content and satisfaction in Garrot’s purring before letting go and turning around, letting Garrot reciprocate.
Feeling him to start to do the same, she actually flinched at first, then relaxed. The reaction caused Garrot to tilt his head curiously.
“ … Was that because of Sylphia ? “
“ … I think so. Boo la la, she has instilled so much unnecessary fear into me. “
“ I understand. Feel free to move away or push me if you feel uncomfortable with something I do. “ “ Thank you, mon amour… “
Rochelle sighed, a lazy smile stretching on her face as she enjoyed the back rubbing, only for her smile to crack as another thought crossed her: Garrot was just trying to do something nice, but her body jerked away. Sylphia hadn't even assaulted her, yet that was still powerful enough to make her flinch away from her beloved.
It was the smallest reaction, but big enough to make Rochelle feel nauseous. Oh, and she had just started feeling better…
She just wants to lay down and sleep… she can't just have one nice moment with her boyfriend without the shadow of evil looming over her…
Once done washing, the gargoyle couple stepped out and began drying their hair, Garrot first, then Rochelle.
On Rochelle's turn, Garrot studied her face and body language intensely. He was looking for signs of something bad: a panic attack, fear, discomfort… and he found exhaustion, easily answered by the late hour and Rochelle's breakdown. The only good thing to come out of the study was that he seemingly wasn't making her uncomfortable, but that came not second, third, or fourth to a growing sadness inside of him.
It was sad seeing his girlfriend acting like this, the way she had all day. He wishes he could bring back the confidence and comfort she had before it was stripped away.
He finished drying her hair. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before they picked up their clothes, put them on Rochelle's nightstand, changed into their pajamas, and laid down in bed.
Rochelle yawned, letting herself be pulled in by Garrot. They tangled their limbs together, slowly closing their eyes and relaxing.
“ Good night, mon amour. “ “ Good night, Ma Cherie.. “