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Tsukasa stood there, eyes blown wide. He couldn’t breathe. His mind simply froze, almost as if all of his thoughts were thrown away. Nothing about the sight in front of him made him happy. Rather, he inhaled deeply before screaming.
On the ground in front of the star was none other than his best friend's body. A completely disfigured appearance from the director. His body was relatively squished, almost as if his organs had been pushed out and popped. There was blood dripping away everywhere, leaving marks all along the road.
The car that caused the situation had parked. There were scratches and blood stains all across the back of the vehicle. The person got out of their car and ran towards the scene, fear flushed around their face.
Tsukasa fell to his knees and brought Rui up to his lap as much as he could. There wasn’t a heartbeat in sight. There wasn’t even mention of breathing. Rui Kamishiro had faced his demise. Tears fled to Tsukasa’s eyes and they flowed down his face. They were relentless, and they did not stop. His heart was beating so incredibly fast — something Rui’s heart could no longer do.
When Tsukasa looked up at the culprit, they had called for an ambulance, stating the situation and owning up to their crimes. Tsukasa felt sick to his stomach. He looked back down at Rui and tears fell onto the director’s face.
“I’m sorry– I’m so sorry–” He cried out, holding Rui close. He didn’t pay attention to the blood staining his own clothes. The white undershirt he wore that slowly became tainted in red.. None of that mattered. His mind focused on Rui, and Rui only. “Wake up.. P-Please wake up!” He begged.
Why.. Why did this happen–?! He thought.
And he continued to think that. During that moment, at the funeral, and even when he was alone at night. Whenever he would perform for a show through workshops, even then his mind could only run back to that moment.
It consumed him within every second.
Here he sat now in his bed at night, staring up at the ceiling as the memory replayed in his head. He always wondered: was there a way to prevent it? Perhaps if he had been more observant, or maybe if he had gone first instead of letting Rui.. Every scenario just made his heart hurt more.
After Rui’s death, WonderlandsXShowtime opted to stay together in order to pursue their dreams as Rui would’ve wanted. They continued freelancing and mostly did workshops together, but it never felt the same after Rui died. Even with every performance, every smile, every laugh.. It always felt like there was something missing— someone missing.
It wasn’t fair.
Tsukasa turned to the side within his bed and furrowed his brows. Rui’s death ruined his life. He couldn’t function properly knowing what had happened. The blonde tried his best to hold back tears, however they fell despite his restraint. He felt pathetic. A star shouldn’t behave this way, right? Yet here he is rotting in bed.
He sighed, letting out a small laugh. “Rui would’ve said, ‘You need to take care of yourself, Tsukasa-kun.. Usually, you’re the one scolding me’ or.. something like that..” He sat up, his regular, perfect posture having disappeared completely. He slouched over, “..Maybe I should talk to someone in SEKAI about how I feel.. I shouldn’t be laying around like this.”
He reached over to grab his phone off of his nightstand and quickly opened up ‘Untitled.’ Triangles and wondrous colors consumed themselves around him and eventually he was transported into SEKAI.
The colors there were different from the basic beige colors in his room. It was vibrant, yet peaceful. The sky was dark and the vibrance of the rides and attractions lit up everything around him. He took a deep breath, allowing himself to relax a bit.
He glanced around and frowned, “It is late.. They’re all probably asleep.. But just being here helps.. I’ll only stay for a moment.” He muttered, walking over to a nearby bench. He sat down and leaned back, staring up at the star filled sky.
It reminded him of something Rui had told him once. A night where it was just them together in the SEKAI, laying down and staring up at the stars..
—
“You know, I read once that it can take hundreds of years for the light of a star to reach earth, and by the time you see it, the star might not even exist anymore?” Rui looked over at Tsukasa with a smile, “Isn’t that crazy?”
Tsukasa let out a small hum, “..The light shines even though the star is gone..”
There’s a moment of silence between the two. It was so peaceful, almost as if they were never to be interrupted. It was comforting. Tsukasa always knew they were close, but.. Something about it now made his heart fill itself up with warmth.
All of the sudden, Tsukasa felt something touch his fingers. Though, not staring down, his hand instinctively wrapped itself around the touch. It was Rui’s hand, holding his own. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt right.
Neither of them questioned it. They merely laid there, staring up at the diamonds in the sky.
—
Sometimes, Tsukasa wished he had said what he wanted to that night. Back then, he had the urge to tell Rui everything he felt about him. It was foreign to him, but he knew he wanted something more out of their relationship, something that was more than just friendship.
Knowing he never had enough time to tell him.. It broke his heart. He let out a breath, feeling his body fall into relaxation despite the sharp pain in his heart. He missed Rui, he really did.
..
“Tsukasa-kun?”
The blonde moved his head down, startled by the noise. The voice, it sounded so much like Rui.. it made his heart jump. Though, he was disappointed to find that it was a plushie staring up at him.
It was one he grew familiar with, a white cat stuffed animal with brown spots. It used to stay around Rui a lot whenever it had the chance to. “..Ah, it’s you.” he said in reply, “What are you doing over here?”
The cat paused for a moment, which was out of character for it. It fidgeted with its paws, “..I thought I’d come see you.”
Tsukasa tilted his head, “Hm? Why?” He immediately froze and began to stutter, “A-Ah, wait that sounded rude.. I meant like–”
The cat let out a chuckle, almost in the same manner Rui used to. “I know what you meant, don’t worry,” it reassured.
There was something off about the plushie. Normally, from what Tsukasa saw, it would be cheerful and silly. It would run around and create chaos around the SEKAI. It behaved childishly. Yet here.. It was the complete opposite.
In a way.. It behaved like Rui.
He sighed, “You miss him too, huh?” he said.
The cat hopped up onto the bench and sat down. It shrugged, “..You could say that.” It looked over at Tsukasa with a sorrowful smile. It almost replicated the face Rui would make when he would try to mask any sad emotions he had. Something about that made his heart sting. “How much do you miss him, Tsukasa-kun?”
Tsukasa thought about it for a second, “..He consumes my thoughts every day. It’s like I can’t get a break from it. If that bastard was here to see this, I’d give him a stern talking to for ruining my brain like that.” he joked, trying to cope with humor.
The cat laughed, “That’s very like you.”
“I mean, could you blame me..? Even performing shows feels wrong now.. It doesn’t feel right without my director by my side.” Tsukasa admitted, “B-But I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.. Y.. You are somewhat still a kid in a way—”
It shook its head, standing up on the bench and placing its paws against Tsukasa’s thigh, “I don’t mind listening in. Please feel free to continue.” it claimed.
Tsukasa went silent for a few seconds. Something wasn’t right. Something was different. For some reason, he felt comfortable. It felt almost as if he were speaking to Rui himself. It hurt his heart more. Was this some kind of trick? Was the cat trying to make him upset?
He frowned, “..Why are you just like him?” He said, his voice breaking within seconds. There were tears forming at the brim of his eyes.
For a moment, there wasn’t a word that came from the cat. Rather, it stood there as if it were thinking long and hard about something. Soon enough, it huffed and grabbed Tsukasa’s hand. Endearingly, it stared up at him. When Tsukasa looked at it back, he quickly understood.
The realization caught him off guard, “R-Rui..? No, that’s impossible–”
“If I were in your shoes, I’d believe so too.. but I guess the SEKAI is filled with the impossible. I’m not sure how this happened, it’s a little odd..” Rui said, scratching the back of his head.
Tsukasa swallowed hard, “H.. How long have you–?” He could barely speak.
Rui put a paw to his chin, “I believe the day that I died.. I wasn’t really sure how to approach you about this.. I figured it’d be best to wait.” he explained.
The blonde’s tears finally poured down his face and he instantly dived down to pull the cat into a hug. He squeezed him tightly and cried. Rui let out a small noise of discomfort, but allowed him nonetheless. “I hate you.. I hate you so much..!” Tsukasa cried out, “Why did you have to go and die..!?”
Rui rested his head against Tsukasa’s shoulder, “I’m here now, it’s okay..” Rui told him.
Tsukasa continued to sob, dropping the plushie into his lap. Rui stood up in his lap and wrapped his arms around Tsukasa’s stomach, attempting to give him a hug. Tsukasa didn’t hate Rui, and Rui knew that. He missed him. He missed him so incredibly much. “Please, never leave again..” Tsukasa begged.
Rui smiled, squeezing him slightly, “I won’t. I won’t leave you ever again, Tsukasa-kun.”
…
The next morning, Tsukasa awoke in the SEKAI with the plushie wrapped tightly around him, snuggling up to him. His eyes had a weird feeling and were dry, but even so, he could only stare down at Rui next to him.
Having to explain to everyone later in the day that the cat plushie was Rui was a little difficult, but in the end everyone understood. Both Emu and Nene fell into tears, hugging their dead friend tightly from all of the built-up grief they kept inside.
Knowing that he was ‘alive’ gave Tsukasa enough hope. Even if he couldn’t see Rui outside of the SEKAI, it reassured him greatly. Forever, he never had to worry again.