Chapter Text
𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
Córdoba – 04/06/25
The dining table in Córdoba was my battlefield again.
Books scattered like debris from a crash: Theory of Knowledge with its endless questions on ethics, Environmental Systems and Societies with graphs on pollution that made me think of exhaust fumes, Mathematics problems that twisted my brain like a high-speed chicane. The IB deadlines loomed like a red flag. I was 16 for sixteen more days, but the scar above my left eye made me feel a decade older.
I rubbed it absentmindedly, the thin white line still tender. The small braid hung beside it, untouched. The dark blue hair fell in layers around my face. I looked up from the laptop — the cursor blinking on a half-finished essay — and glanced at the clock. 11:47 p.m.
My phone buzzed.
Max Verstappen – Video Call
I answered. His face filled the screen, the Monaco night behind him. Lily was asleep in her bassinet, a small pink bundle. Penelope must have been with Kelly.
"Hey," he said softly. "You look like you're fighting a war with that homework."
I smiled faintly. "It feels like one."
We talked for a while — about the upcoming GP in Canada, about how Lily was starting to smile, about the new upgrades on the car. Max was in his element, voice steady, but his eyes kept searching mine.
"You're preparing for something else too, aren't you?" he asked quietly.
I nodded. The project secret. The offer from Andy Muschietti's team. I hadn't told him yet, but he knew me too well.
"I leave for Canada tomorrow," I said. "The 5th. Early flight."
He tilted his head. "And this... project. It's big?"
I hesitated, then nodded again. "Big enough to change things."
He didn't push. Just looked at me with that quiet intensity.
"Be careful," he said. "Don't burn yourself out."
The call ended a few minutes later. I closed the laptop and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The water felt high tonight — the pressure, the hate, the endless need to be perfect.
I closed my eyes.
The phone buzzed again.
Kimi Antonelli – Video Call
I answered without thinking.
Kimi's face appeared, his room in Italy dark, lit only by the screen. He looked tired, hair messy, but his smile was immediate.
"Hey," he said, voice low. "Can't sleep?"
I shook my head. "Too much in my head."
𝗸𝗶𝗺𝗶ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
I couldn't sleep either.
The races were starting to weigh on me. Being a rookie in F1 was like jumping into a storm — the speed, the pressure, the constant scrutiny. Every weekend felt like a test I wasn't sure I'd pass. The car was fast, but the grid was unforgiving. Antonelli. The name carried expectations I hadn't asked for.
And then there was Nessa.
I thought about her constantly. The way she drove — relentless, cold, beautiful. The way she laughed with us rookies. The way she looked at me sometimes, like there was something unsaid hanging between us.
But I had Eliska.
My girlfriend. The one who was there before all this. The one who waited for me at home in Italy, who sent me messages every morning.
I loved her. I did.
But Nessa was in my head more than she should be.
When I called her that night, it was an impulse. I needed to hear her voice.
"Hey," I said. "Can't sleep?"
She shook her head. "Too much in my head."
We talked for almost an hour. About nothing and everything. She told me about her ToK essay. I told her about a stupid mistake I'd made in the sim that day. We laughed about the rookies' group chat blowing up with memes.
But underneath it, there was something else.
I wanted to say it.
I think about you all the time. I know I shouldn't. But I do.
The words were on the tip of my tongue.
But I chickened out.
Eliska was waiting for my call tomorrow.
So I said goodnight instead.
And when the call ended, I lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, wondering how much longer I could keep pretending it wasn't there.
𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
The call with Kimi ended softly.
I lay back on the bed, the water feeling a little lower in my chest.
Tomorrow I flew to Canada.
Tomorrow the project began.
I closed my eyes and whispered to the dark room.
"Let's see what happens."
The hunter was ready.
But the girl who still wanted to feel something soft... she was still there too.
For now.