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It had been two years since Ushijima had last stood on a volleyball court with the Shiratorizawa team in tow. His last official match with them had ended in the worst way it could have, causing him to mourn the loss of teammates, both old and new.
One of those teammates being Tsutomu Goshiki.
When Ushijima had first met the boy, he had been sixteen and had made quite the impression by declaring that he would someday beat the third year.
Said third year was slightly taken aback at the claim, uttering out the only thing he could think to say in his shock.
“Do your best, then.”
It was now the first year’s turn to look taken aback. Regret flooded through Ushijima at the sight of the younger boy’s face, worrying that his reply had offended him.
But the first year then nodded, and Ushijima breathed out a small sigh upon realising that the comment had made Goshiki more driven than hurt.
What reminded Ushijima of this was the knowledge that the Spring Tournament would soon be taking place, and that the Miyagi representatives had likely been chosen by now.
Similar to Ushijima’s third year, Shiratorizawa hadn’t made it to Nationals last year either. The previous captain winced inwardly at the memory, knowing that Washijō wouldn’t have let them get off easy.
But regardless, he decided to call Goshiki, just to ask him how the team was doing and if they’d be going to Nationals this year.
The like trilled once, twice. Then, it clicked and a voice that Ushijima hadn’t heard in two years answered.
“Hey, Ushiwaka!” Goshiki said, voice enthusiastic but tired. Nevertheless, the nickname - one he hadn’t been called since high school - made Ushijima smile.
“Hi, Goshiki. How’re you?”
“I’m… alright.”
That slight pause was concerning.
“Are you sure? You sound a bit-“
“Practice just ended. I’m just tired, is all. I swear.”
The older knew it was a lie. He was aware of the younger’s habit to overwork himself, sometimes resulting in him passing out from either exhaustion, dehydration or overheating.
“How is practice going?” He took it as his opportunity to ask about Nationals, feeling awkward if he asked the boy straight up.
“Well, coach is just as harsh as ever.” The younger laughed softly. “Actually, he seems even meaner ever since you and the others left.”
That was something Ushijima wouldn’t miss about his high school team.
“How did the qualifying tournament go?” He saw a chance and took it.
The line was silent. Uncomfortably so. The persistent quietness made him think that Goshiki had hung up, or a poor connection had disconnected the line.
“Goshiki?”
“We… we didn’t make it.”
His voice was small, as if he didn’t want his previous captain to hear him.
Sniffles were then heard on the other end.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Goshiki said, sniffles evolving into sobs. “A-All I wanted to do was to b-bring this team to Na-Nationals, but I-“
“Goshiki, breathe.” Ushijima cut him off. He already wasn’t skilled at comfort, and it became increasingly more difficult when the other person wasn’t even in the room with him.
“I’m not w-worthy of being the a-ace. You sh-should’ve given it to someone else.”
“No, I shouldn’t have.”
That halted Goshiki in his ramblings.
“Goshiki, do you honestly believe that I’ve won every match I’ve ever played?”
The younger thought for a moment. It had never struck him before, but the ace had likely felt some tough defeats, as well.
“N-No, sir.”
“And, yes, they were painful, and some even kept me up at night. But I came back from them. And now, I’m glad that I’ve come accustomed to them.”
“I know that, in hindsight, they’re unimportant.” Goshiki began. “But I still would’ve liked to go to Nationals at least once.”
“I know.” Ushijima replied, voice soft. “It hurts, and Washijō likely isn’t making the situation any better. That feeling of frustration will eventually pass, though, just like it did when you were in first year.”
“But I feel like I’m letting you down.”
If Ushijima could hug the boy through the phone, he would.
“Why?” He chose to say instead.
The line was silent for a few seconds, before Goshiki muttered out “I’m not sure.”
“Exactly.” Ushijima answered. “ You’re not letting me down. I’m not disappointed in you. I never was, and I never will be.”
Goshiki was silent, so Ushijima continued.
“You’re a talented player, you wouldn’t be on Shiratorizawa if you weren’t. Don’t forget that.”
Those were similar to the words he had told the first year during their last official match together. Ushijima had meant every word back then, and he means it even more now.
“Thank you, sir.”
It was a short reply, but Ushijima could hear a small tint in his voice, almost as though the boy was smiling.
“If you need to talk, please don’t hesitate to call me.” He assured the third year. “Or anyone else who was on the team, like Tendou or Reon.”
“I will, sir. Thank you.”
Sir, Ushijima smiled slightly at that.
“Oh, and Goshiki?”
“Mhm?”
“I’m proud of you.”