Chapter Text
Dennis had clocked out for the day an hour ago, but he couldn’t force himself to go home. His legs seemed to move on their own and he had ended up back on the third floor of abandoned patient rooms. He didn’t stop there. Somehow he ended up on the roof. The wind blew lightly as the sun neared the horizon. Half the sky was lit up by an array of pink and orange, the other was already being illuminated by fireworks.
He could hardly hear the horrid sound of a celebration. The bustling of the night seemed to float away as his thoughts crept in. He closed his eyes, the warm tears dripped onto his cheek, and his head fell into his hands. Dennis stood there for what felt like forever. He didn’t look back up until the sound of an ambulance zoomed near the emergency room.
His lungs took in a shaky breath. He shook his head, a weak attempt to calm the storm of grief piling up in him, and walked to the edge of the roof. The railing was cold to the touch. It looked to have aged in a single spot, as if someone else had been coming up each day to admire the view—or to picture what a fall from the height would do to the body.
Dennis let himself feel. He was human after all. Doctor or not, losing someone hurt. Louie didn’t deserve to die. Dennis should have been there in his last moments. He could have brought comfort. There were so many things he wanted to do differently. If only he could turn the time and restart. Maybe he would have found something to save him.
The door to the roof clicked open, swung in the wind, and then closed. Dennis didn’t look up to see who it was. He didn’t care. If they wanted to jump, maybe he would join them. It wouldn’t take much. Just a simple push and—
“Dr. Whitaker?” He hadn’t heard much of that voice. Dr. Abbot had probably just clocked in for the night shift. Dennis only looked up to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
“I’m not going to jump if that’s what you’re concerned about.” He barely recognized his own voice. It sounded so familiar yet so detached.
Abbot gave him a face. His lips extended into a sad line. “I heard what happened. Thought you could use company before I start my day.”
Dennis looked at him, past him, sniffling and trying to stop more tears from falling. “How did you even know I’d be up here?”
“Santos figured you’d be on the third floor, but you left your stuff by the door.”
“Oh.” He looked back at the ground below. The slight ringing in his ears settled down now that he wasn’t alone, but his guilt and anxious thoughts still swarmed through his head.
“You know,” Dr. Abbot slid into place next to him. “I come up here everyday before a shift.”
“I should get going.”
Dr. Abbot put a steady hand on his shoulder. “Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings.”
It felt like he was reciting a quote told to him by another. Though, even the hypocrisy of it, Dennis knew he was right. But who could he talk to? His friends were there when it happened. They all knew what he was feeling, because they were feeling it too.
“Have a good shift, Dr. Abbot.” Dennis didn’t look back at the man as he walked to the door. He descended the stairs in a haze. His backpack was still hanging on the wall when he got to the third floor. And Trinity was waiting for him by the staff door.
Their ride home was silent. Aside from the hustle and bustle of the city, neither of them said anything. No words were exchanged as Dennis put a frozen pizza in the oven. Love Island played as background noise as they ate on the couch.
“Get some sleep tonight, okay?” Trinity put her hand on his knee before getting up. She smiled at him and made her way to her room for the night.
Dennis knew he needed sleep. But every time he closed his eyes, the same scene replayed in his head. He heard a looping voice telling him that Louie was gone. There was nothing he could do. He lost another patient.
His thoughts spiraled and exhausted him over and over and over again until the sun started to peak through his blinds. He heard Trinity wake up and figured he would do the same. They both still had to go to work. He would just have to put on a face until his shift was over. Dennis hoped nobody else would be lost today, but he knew it was an unrealistic expectation.
“Your goodness and mercy will follow me today and all the days of my life.” He whispered to himself and walked out his bedroom door.
He ate breakfast like normal, joking with Trinity who responded with a brighter smile than last night. They walked to the bus stop and were on their way to work.
Today was going to be good. Dennis repeated this mantra in his head as they walked to the hospital. Today was going to be good.
Today was going to be good.