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In theory, a beach date should’ve been the perfect Valentine’s day date. A beach day during the sunset should’ve been even better. More romantic, definitely.
Considering all of that, Nya was sure she’d planned the perfect date.
But then she stepped onto the beach, saw the ocean in the distance, and felt off just seeing the sun reflecting off the waves. She’d made it a point not to go to the ocean often, because it made her feel… off. It made her feel too connected to it, too in tune with the waves and the seaweed twisting in the current. But she was here with Jay, and that, she hoped, would change it.
“Hey, Nya,” Jay said as he walked up behind her. She hummed a quiet acknowledgement as he sat down on the picnic blanket, one of their favorites they’d been using for years. Jay seemed tentative beside her, something he never was. “The sunset’s nice.”
Nya stared at the sunset, followed it with her eyes until they landed on the horizon, where the sea met the sky. It was cheesy, but she thought of her and Jay. Lightning, striking down from the sky to meet the water in the ocean below.
They’d loved coming here, to the part of the beach that had the best views of the sunset, especially during the summertime. Whenever they could get a break, it was either a picnic, to their workshop, or an extremely long FistToFace 2 tournament.
As they watched the sunset, Jay started talking about some dare he’d made Cole do the other day, something to do with marshmallows. An absurdly large amount of marshmallows. Nya began unloading the stuff she’d asked Zane to help her make from their picnic basket. There were two sandwiches and a couple of chocolate covered strawberries. It was simple and romantic, and exactly what Jay’d like for a Valentine’s day date. She looked at the sky and traced the clouds with her eyes as she listened to Jay talk, interjecting little “mhm”s or “wow”s as he spoke.
It was soft, this moment. Nya wanted to treasure it, hold it close to her heart, and never let go.
She gazed at the horizon, looking more closely at the ocean. Her eyes seemed drawn to the movements of the waves and the glimmers of sun on the crests of water.
Suddenly, it felt like she was drifting again. Like back then, like moving amidst a shoal of jellyfish through the gentle current, as light as breeze. Like she’d made herself into this form that was somewhere between the patterns of life and the gentle sway of the water. In the back of her mind, she knew something was wrong.
The cold water that acted like her blood, flowing through her with the same rush and fury of the ocean on a stormy day. The churning storms that were the ocean, her own being, raging against the shore.
In the back of her mind, she knew something was wrong.
It was easy to get drawn back into the patterns of the ocean. Too easy, almost.
“-ya? Nya, look at me.” The panicked tone of Jay’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked at him, almost as if she couldn’t believe he was real, like he was something of this world, of flesh and blood that she’d been deprived of for so long. And that feeling- that scared her. Even after these past two months of escaping the call of the ocean, of the pure, raw power of the water that surrounded her, she couldn’t.
Then, the expression on Jay’s face became clearer, and she felt even worse.
“Are you scared?” Nya asked carefully. It felt strange taking that tone with Jay, her boyfriend, her partner, someone she’d known for years. Someone she’d fought for her life and the world beside many times. And now she was careful, because she knows she left him and that was unforgivable.
“Yeah,” Jay breathed out into the air, his breath fogging up. It’d gotten colder since they came, but they were bundled up and huddled beneath a blanket. “All the time.”
Nya doesn’t reply for a long second, and feels Jay shuffling beside her, squirming around where he’s sitting. It’s a clear sign he’s getting nervous, that the silence is more a weighted one than a comfortable one they’re used to living in. Nya wants to open her mouth, wants to tell Jay that she’s scared too. Scared out of her mind, that she didn’t want to leave Jay, that she would still choose it over losing him if it ever came to that again. She wants to tell him that she’s so fucking sorry, wants to hold him whenever she thinks about the months he spent without her.
“I mean, how can you not be scared, right?” Jay asks, with the nervous laugh following his words that usually means he’s going to talk and talk until he fills the silence with his own voice, his own words. Until he packs the discomfort full of noise so he doesn’t have to face the awkward silence.
She doesn’t usually mind, usually loves it, really, but she just has so much she wants to say. So much she wants to tell him that she’s never gotten to because, even after all they’ve been through together, they never seem to get a fucking break.
All that comes out in the end is a strangled sob.
“Nya?” Jay asks, his voice startled. His arm comes up around her, just a presence at first as he’s scared to push it any closer. When she lets out a second sob, though, and finds that she can’t stop the tears that are coming, he tightens his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer towards him. “Nya, hon, what’s wrong? Is- Are you okay?”
She nods on instinct, then remembers that they do eventually have to talk, have to spill their feelings, and she might as well start. She tips her head into the crook of Jay’s neck and shakes her head. It feels warmer here. The skin to skin contact grounds her, gives her something to feel close to, like she hasn’t felt in a long time. She remembers it had been freeing to be the sea, to be flowing around and never stopping like water was wont to do. But it had been lonely too, surrounding everything, never held, never comforted.
She breathed in Jay’s ever present scent of motor oil and, strangely, pancakes on a weekend morning. The latter didn’t seem like it could be a scent found on a person, but it encapsulated Jay’s essence so well.
Jay mumbled words that she could barely hear but, after a couple of moments where tears dripped down her cheeks and onto the soft fabric of Jay’s hoodie, she realized what he was saying. “You’re safe, you’re okay, I love you.” Over and over again like they were the only truths that mattered. And at that moment, they were.
The thought almost sent her into tearing up again, and she brought her hand up around Jay and held him back, squeezing him to her like he would disappear any second. Like, if she didn’t anchor herself to him, she’d disappear.
“There’s a few stars out,” Jay said after a few minutes, when they were just slightly rocking back and forth, tangled in each others’ arms. Nya glanced up at the sky, to see that the sun had, in fact, fully set. The sunset that they’d waited for a while to watch had been lost to the blurry haze of tears and comfort. Nya let out a small, disappointed sigh.
“I sort of… ruined our date, didn’t I?” Nya asked, a bit mad at herself. She had an amazing Yin, who she just wanted to do something fun with for once, especially on Valentine’s day. And now she’d gone and messed it all up, spent the nice date that they’d been planning wallowing about everything that had gone down the year before. Go Nya! Whoop-de-doo.
“What?” Jay asked, surprised. “No you didn’t.” Nya smiled involuntarily at that, staring into the wide blue eyes that screamed confusion. Right, because Jay wouldn’t make Nya feel like she’d done anything wrong, probably wouldn’t even think she’d done anything wrong in the first place. Nya couldn’t let herself off the hook that easily, though. She knew, obviously, that there wasn’t anything wrong with crying or with seeking comfort.
She just hated that, because of them being ninja, there was always something that got in the way of them being just… normal. Just them. They never did seem to catch a break from all the missions and the chaos and the “I will destroy Ninjago City” type villains, but they also never seemed to just get a nice day out without at least one thing going wrong.
“Right,” Nya said, a bit sardonically. “Because my benchmark for a nice date is definitely crying together under the sunset.” She felt a bit bad as soon as she said it, because it felt a bit harsh, and she didn’t want to ruin their date a second time. Oh, well. Exhibit B of Nya being an astronomical failure at being a good girlfriend.
“Under a beautiful sunset!” Jay said jokingly, and Nya let out a small laugh. FSM, she loved how he tried to lighten up every situation, and it definitely helped add some levity to the current moment. “And, remember our first date? This is so much better than that.”
Both of them burst out laughing at that absolute disaster, though Nya couldn’t deny it held a special place in her heart. Jay had tried to ask her out with perfume on, and trusting Kai with obtaining good perfume was his first mistake. Using perfume at all was his second; Nya remembered how long it took for the allergic reaction - especially the hives - to wear off. Then, there was the whole debacle with Jay turning into a snake, then the roller-coaster, and, oh wow, she loved that date but no way in hell would she ever put herself through that again.
“That doesn’t count!” Nya said. “Technically, we weren’t dating at the time.”
“Oh, man, then what does count as our first date?” Jay wondered aloud, and Nya shook her head, laughing.
“It doesn’t matter, Jay. They were all amazing,” Nya said. And it was true. It brought a rush of nostalgia back to her to think about all the different moments they’d managed to capture for themselves. Everything from those first, few shaky steps in their relationship where they were still reeling from the … incident, to later, with their dance lessons and their various arcade dates. “Because they were with you.”
“And, Nya, that’s what I’m trying to say.” Jay’s voice was soft and gentle when he said this, and his face looked solemn, like he was preparing himself to say something serious. But his eyes were staring into Nya’s, and she felt like she could get lost in those pools of deep blue. “This date was amazing, because it was with you. I like just being with you.”
“You’re starting to sound sappy, Jay. Are you going to start writing more of those love poems Cole showed me?” Nya teased, and Jay’s face dropped into an expression of pure horror.
“He showed you those? Oh FSM, when I catch him-”
As Jay ranted on about what he was going to do to Cole, something or the other about depriving him of cake, Nya thought about what Jay had said. All those little moments they’d managed to save for themselves? They’d only worked because it was both of them, together, just being together.
And well, even though Nya had kind of turned the date she’d planned sideways, and they’d both ended up crying, at least it was under a beautiful sunset. Together.
“I love you, Sparky.”
“Love you, too, hon.”