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Recently a gang has started to make a name for themself not only for the ADA or the government to take notice but the Port Mafia to notice them, especially now because some members from said gang were seen doing something on mafia territory. Now the ada won’t usually intervene with this, afterall this is the mafia's problem and theirs to deal with. That has changed however when the gang started disturbing the citizens, when a little girl was crying in the agency because her dad was kidnapped by the gang for “messing with what's theirs”.
When the little girl was carried out by social workers that the agency trusted to be taken care nicely, they found themself in their meeting room waiting for a certain group of members to show up. After a minute the door open and in walks in the port mafia boss himself with executive Kouyou Ozaki and Nakahara Chuuya flanking his side, Akutugawa Ryunosuke, higuchi and the black lizard following behind them. Atsushi realized how serious this was when dazai started sitting straight in his seat, not once complaining about how uncomfortable the seats were.
Fukuzawa greeted mori with a nod, kunikida and dazai sitting next to him, mori smiled at him and sat down in the seat across from him “hello there Fukuzawa-dono” he greeted and fukuzawa greeted back with his own response. Now with both bosses done with greetings the meeting could finally commence.
After a few minutes the meeting is finally going somewhere they both have the desire to stop this gang and to gather intel on how they managed to grow this large within two months, all they need right now is a plan on how?
“I heard from spying on the few members near the port that they have a party in two days, something about a celebration on how things are going and reaching a certain goal?” Higuchi said from her seat and it looked as if things were not moving forward “but we don’t know who will be there? What if it was a trap?” Yosano-sensei spoke from her seat the first time in this entire meeting “it could very well be a trap for the port” Kunikida spoke up “but its the only lead we have” Tachihara said and gin nodded beside him “i also heard some members talking about it when i was spying on them in their base”
“Alright then, we have to infiltrate this party and take care of them” Mori said smiling and Atsushi felt a shiver raking up his spine as he looked at the Port Mafia boss. Kunikida typed something out the screen and the projector showed who would be joining the mission and what their role would be. “Right so Atsushi and Akutagawa will be playing the amin subjects, the couple-”
“Wait i don’t want to be a couple with Akutagawa” Atsushi protest, cutting Kunikida off
“Well who else could it be? You and Akutagawa are a team right?” Yosano-sensei said stealing on of Ranpo snacks
“We don’t even know how to act as a couple?!?"
“And I don't think I can handle Jinko clinging to me for the whole duration of the mission”
“Hey! I wouldn’t want to cling to you anywa-”
“Why don’t mister fancy hat and mister Dazai do it?” Kenji spoke up
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And all hell broke lose, people screaming how that’s impossible and that they hate each other and they can never act like they even tolerate each other and how they’ll fail the mission before it even starts
“I mean it makes sense, Dazai and Chuuya were partners in the mafia. Not just any partners but the infamous duo ‘double black’” Ranpo said, still eating his chips.
They all turn to the duo because none of them have said a word when it was brought up, they were met with neutral faces, none of them screams ‘I don’t want to do this’ “uh what do you think Dazai? Chuuya?” Tachihara asked warily
“Huh? Oh, I can’t say I’m happy to act as a couple with the slug of all people but I don’t mind”
“Tch, as if I want to be with you for the mission asshole. I thought I wouldn't have to act as a couple with you anymore but I guess not” Dazai let out a fake dramatic gasp at his former partner “you wound me Chibi! I thought you rather enjoyed our acts”
“As if stupid mackerel”
“Wait, what do you mean Chuuya-san? Have you acted as a couple with Dazai before?” Yosano asked with a glint in her eyes
“Oh chibi and I have always acted as a couple for mission all the time” Dazai said rather happily
“Ah yes, everytime we need people to act as a couple, Chuuya and Dazai would always take the role” Kouyou said
“Well then it’s decided, Chuuya and Dazai will play the role of the couple to gather intel while Atsushi and Akutagawa will infiltrate the building for any information, the rest will act as back-up for both of them” Mori said and Fukuzawa nodded in agreement.
The meeting went on with them talking about the end goal for this mission and what the two groups will need to do, Chuuya and Dazai will need to act as a couple and try to get information from the boss of the organisation by acting the part of a couple wanting to join said group while Atsushi and Akutagawa will need to get in the building and look for any important documents, the others that will be joining will be acting as back-up and Hitoshi will be the driver for each of them.
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They all had planned to meet at the front of the agency the next day so they could coordinate on who goes first. Currently they are waiting for soukoku to arrive “where is this shitty Dazai, he is ruining my schedule” Kunikida mumbled while continually looking at his watch “It’s fine Kunikida, our driver hadn’t even shown up yet”
Because Yosano just had to jinx them, a black sedan pulled up in front of them, clearly a mafia car. Hitoshi got out of the driver seat and walked to the side of the car to open the door. The person who stepped out wasn’t Dazai, no, the agency refused to believe it, he wore a purple undershirt and a black tie with purple accent, pairing it with a black swallow tail coat, with a chain connecting the collars and wearing black pants. The agency members gaped at him but he paid no mind, instead turning around and putting his hand out for the person still in the car to grab.
And the person who got out of the car looked heavenly. makeup flawless, they had a smokey eye with a light blush and a red lipstick with a glossy finish. This person can’t be an actual person, they must be an angel sent down from heaven. The dress is a black almost purple dress with on strap going on the opposite shoulder, the dress has a slit on the right side starting at the waist with decorative purple flowers and added ruffles at the start of the slit, the dress is pooling around the person, and wearing peep toe heels.
“Sorry we’re late Kunikida~ the chibi wanted his makeup to look perfect” he said this while grabbing Chuuyas’ WAIST! And Chuuya doesn’t seem bothered by it at all
Kunikida stood there speechless for a moment before regaining his composure and lecturing Dazai, Yosano on the other hand, whistled “wow Chuuya-san you look quite good as a girl” while eyeing Chuuya up and down. Chuuya flushed at that and grumbling a ‘thank you’ “doesn’t my dog look so good, you might’ve think he was a girl in his last life” Dazai beamed and grab his waist, Chuuya seem to not like his touch anymore, shoving him off “I’m not your dog asshole”
“Well enough talking, we need to get ready, Hitoshi will drop us all off starting with Atsushi and Akutagawa, then me, Yosano and Ranpo, and then lastly Chuuya-san and Dazai” Kunikida said looking at his clock then at his notebook “let’s go Jinko” Akutagawa sad dragging the poor boy “I can walk!”
“I hope this goes well” Kunikida muttered under his breath as Hitoshi drove off with the duo “It’ll go fine Kunikida” Dazai replied.
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Kunikida got out of the car first followed by Yosano and Ranpo who already looked bored to be there. “Let’s go inside before the other two arrive”
A few minutes had passed and almost everyone had arrived except soukoku, the group for now is trying to listen in on the conversations around them, hoping that Atsushi and Akutagawa were having a better time looking for intel.
Just as they thought about that, there was a commotion at the front, they quickly got there to see what was going on, only to see that Dazai and Chuuya had arrived and everyone practically had heart eyes “who are they? They are so gorgeous" a lady asked the man beside her “look at the girls makeup, I’m so jealous” a girl whined to her friend. “Good they made an entrance, the boss would surely notice them” Yosano whispered and only both her coworkers heard as they made their way back inside.
Chuuya stayed glued to Dazais’ side, they converse to the guest that went up to them. Chuuys acting like a very clingy girlfriend, holding onto Dazais’ arm like it’s second nature and Dazai's face shows no sign that this is anything but normal. Yosano gotta hand it to them, their acting is good, maybe too good.
‘Chuuya see anything?” Dazai tap morse code on his waist ‘nothing, wait someone is coming over’
“Good evening to you both, you both look rather dashing” the man said but his eyes are solely on Chuuya “well, this is a special moment for the the group, and we were thinking of talking to the boss anyway” Dazai smiled pulling Chuuya closer to him “oh? And why is that?” he finally stopped looking at Chuuya to look at Dazai. “well we were hoping to join the ranks, you see me and my girlfriend are very interested, isn’t that right dear?” he looked over to Chuuya “yea very interested~” Chuuya makes sure he is looking at the guy with a glint in his eyes. The guy seemed to get the hint and said “well I know the boss myself and he wanted to invite you two to talk to him” “well lead the way, can’t let him wait for long” Dazai replied smiling and following the man, still holding Chuuya by the waist.
The last thing that Kunikida saw was Dazai and Chuuya following a random man to a blocked out area.
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“What are we supposed to even find?” Atsushi asked his partner looking over some documents “have you never done this before Jinko?” Akutagawa said looking exasperated “of course not! I work at an agency” he snapped back “we are supposed to find documents that proves on what they did to climb up the ranks, like trading statements, bank document or mission debriefs” and they both fell back into silence as they looked at their respective areas.
“Wait i hear something” Atsushi perked up at the sounds of talking, thanks to his ability he can hear things from far away much easier, Akutagawa also stopped what he was doing so Atsushi won’t have to hear the paper shuffling and focus on the conversation taking place.
“What is this I hear outside Kanto?” a gruff voice said as the sound of a door click could be heard “the guests were talking about the newly arrived couple boss” so that was the boss! “What newcomers?”
“They were just memorised by the couple sir, they do look quite beautiful especially the young lady” and even Atsushi can hear the lust in his voice, ‘how dare he talk about Chuuya-san like that!’ “I see, well why don’t you invite them here and I promise you can have what you want” and with that he heard the door click shut again.
“Well?” Akutagawa said as he sees Atsushi looking at him “Dazai-san and Chuuya-san got an invite to the boss room” he decided not to tell his partner how they talk about Chuuya because he is quite protective of the executive. He nodded and kept looking around the room before they decided to look in another room.
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Dazai looked around the room when they entered, noting their surroundings, they had multiple guards standing around and the ‘boss’ had girls around him. He instinctively pulled Chuuya closer when the boss's eyes landed on them, a wave of protectiveness coursing through his veins.
“Hello, I presume you are the boss of the gang?” he ask with a tight smile
“Yes come here young man” the both sat down with Chuuya still beside him
“Don’t you want a drink, young lady, why don’t you bring your boyfriend a drink while we talk adult stuff” Dazai wanted to strangle the man, how dare he talk to Chuuya like that!
Chuuya trying to hold back his scoff “of course, I’ll be right back baby” he lean over and place a kiss on his cheek ‘I’ll be fine idiot, focus on the mission’ and with that he left the room pretending to not notice the man following him as he turned corners and made it to a random kitchen.
He felt the man come closer behind him as he grabbed a drink and glass to pour into it. Just as he felt a presence at his back and an arm strangling him, he flipped him over his shoulder, slamming him on the counter, before the man could get up, Chuuya punched him in the face, knocking him out. ‘Such a hassle, now I have to put him somewhere’ Chuuya carried the man over his shoulder, looking for a storage room to put him in.
Once he did, he locked the door from the inside so nobody would open the door. ‘That’s done with, now I have to get in that room without them knowing. How the fuck do I do that?’ Just as he was thinking he heard a door open and see a guard leaving the room Dazai is in ‘that’s how’ he smiled.
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“Well how about an introduction?” the boss said as the girls talk amongst themself “well my name is Shuuji and my girlfriend is Meiko”
“Meiko~” Dazai eye twitch, he wanted to punch the man so hard right now
“Such a beautiful girlfriend you have there Shuuji, might be even prettier than my girls” he smile as the other girls whine
“She is very gorgeous, wouldn’t change her for anything”
“Well enough talking about useless girls, you say you want to join the gang?” this time his finger twitched, thinking about all the ways he could torture this man
But before he could say anything back, the door opened and the guard that left walked in. dazai immediately knew who it was, after all what kind of husband would he be if he forgot what his husband looked like?
“Haruto, how is Ren?” he said with a manic glint in his eyes
“He’s currently busy with someone” came the monotone reply of the guard “good, good, now Shuuji?”
“Yes, i would like to join your organization but before that i have something to say” Dazai leaned forward making the boss lean also
“Do you really think the Port Mafia is gonna let you go that easily? Or the armed detective agency?” and with that the boss stumbled back to his seat and yelled out “guard take him!” but no movement was made by the guards, he looked over to see all the guards knocked out except for one and the girls in a corner crying silently.
“You! What are you doing, take him!” pointing his filthy fingers at the guard who tilted his head and made a move to remove his helmet “who me?” the boss splutter, not able to make a sentence “but-b-but Ren”
“Oh that pervert? He is currently very busy taking a nap, wouldn’t wanna bother him if I were you” Chuuya said moving to Dazais’ side
“Now you either tell us everything and we’ll show you mercy or well you wouldn’t want to know” Dazai said, pulling out his gun and pointing at his head. Chuuya could see a dark spot on his pants and eyes darting around the room ‘tch, disgusting’ “I-i-I’ll tell y-you everything, just please mercy!” the man begged
“Then talk Kaito~”
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“So I presume everything is handled then?” Mori asked the group with a sweet smile “yes everything is handled, the people from the group has been taken to headquarters” Chuuya replied giving Mori a bow “good, I assume you all had encounter no problems” Fukuzawa asked his members “Nothing we couldn’t handle president” came Kunikida immediate reply with a nod from the others “I gotta say, you both make quite a good couple, if I hadn’t known i would’ve thought you both were actually dating” Yosano said as the two bosses left the room and pointing at Dazai and Chuuya.
Dazai gave her a confused look “what do you mean Yosano-sensei?”
“It’s just that your acting is really convincing” Atsushi said
“Acting? What is acting?” Dazai asked again, and this time the whole agency fell silent as the slow process his question
“Your acting idiot, you know faking that you are in a relationship with Chuuya” Kunikida snapped at his partner
“Oh! But we weren’t faking it, I really do love this chibi”
“I’m going to file for a divorce if you keep calling me small”
“You need to stop lying Chuuya, we both know you won’t~”
“Watch me” Dazai let out a dramatic gasp
“Chuuya! Is this how you truly treat your husband, when he has done nothing wrong” he collapsed onto Chuuya side, and Chuuya lightly shove him off to no avail
“...”
The agency fell silent except for the bickering couple, then all hell broke loose.
“WHAT?!!”
“MARRIED!”
“Oh congratulations!”
The last one was from Kenji who clapped his hands at the new revelation.
“Ranpo! Did you know about this?!” Yosano yelled practically poking Ranpo with how close her fingers are to his face
“Duh, I wouldn’t be the world's greatest detective if I didn’t, would I?”
The agency was stunned and soukoku was delighted in terrorising them further
“H-how long have you both been together??” Atsushi asked warily. Dazai put a finger to his chin “hmmm, well we started dating at 15 and got married at 18,so we’ve been together for 7 years now” Kunikida broke his pen.
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A few minutes before…
“Are you sure you want to do that idiot” Chuuya ask his husband
“Of course! Just imagine their faces!”
“Of course you would just focus on the entertainment it would bring you” but even so he still smiled at his stupid partner
“But how are you sure they don’t already know about us?”
“Oh please, only Ranpo would know, with how you treat me they probably thought you hate me. See how you treat your own husband that his own coworkers think you hate him” he placed a hand on his forehead, as if he could be more dramatic
“Yea, yea I treat my husband horribly. Now come on, I wanna go home” giving Dazai a quick kiss on the lips, he left for the meeting room where the others were.
Dazai was stunned, left speechless as he lifted his hand to touch his lips and a look of pure adoration overcame his face.
‘Gods, I really do love that man’ as he quickly went in the room as well. and if someone say that he has a skip in his step, well he doesn't care enough.
END~
