Work Text:
title: untitled | date: 2nd dec 2025
spending so much time in a fantasy and avoiding reality as much as possible, it feels real. it feels so real and
i can see him there
i can see him right in front of me
his soul is there,
his lips are there,
his nose is there, his eyes are
somewhere there, or nowhere at all
you can go as far as to say that i can even feel his hands on my body
i can feel him like a person,
i can hear his voice
most days, most of the time.
almost all the time
then it's thursday, 7:49pm and
and all i feel my hands on my body
not a breath left of my soul
tears on my skin, tears on my lips
the sound of my voice when i speak
my nose buried in my pillow
my eyes are
somewhere there
i see the screen from my phone
close to my eyes so i don't acknowledge the reality around it
but it won't go away
it won't go away no matter what i do no matter how hard i try
no matter how much of my clothes i take off
no matter how much of my blanket i feel
no matter how many picutres i take
if i can't get rid of it,
i bathe in the reality
i gain nothing
discomfort to bring me to the present moment
__________☆★☆__________
title: personified | date: 17th july 2024
im awful at writing proper stories so i'll just dump my idea here let's just use chris in this scenario cuz its easy for me to use him as a character BUT basically,, chris is the moonlight personified. he only exists at night when the moon is bright and the sky is clear. his skin is very pale, almost white. his hair is platinum blonde, his eyes are blue-ish. his lips are a very soft, light pink. (i'll use cory as the other person) cory is an insomniac. he always talks to the pale boy at night. chris is always in cory's room, sitting at some spot, or lying next to cory when he's on the ground. after nights of talking to chris, cory looks out the window and says "the moon is beautiful, isn't it?" which means "i love you" essentially, cory fell in love with chris. one afternoon on a warm summer day when the moon was out and the sun was setting, chris was standing next to cory on the balcony as they both leaned against the railing. chris says "the sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" and cory freezes and slowly turns to look at him, baffled. it means "i love you but i'm letting you go" they spend the rest of the night inside, talking. they share their first kiss. it's nothing big or intense. it's gentle and meant to show appreciation rather than hunger. cory takes chris out on the balcony again, the light breeze combing their hair. he takes a deep breath and sighs, looking at the sunrise with tears in his eyes. he bites them back, managing to squeeze out a few words in a strained voice. "the sunrise is beautiful isn't it?" he looks over at chris and he's gone. nobody is there. he sighs again and realizes it's now too bright for chris to be with him. there is no moon. the next night cory is lying in bed, waiting for chris to come out and talk to him, but he's not there. he waits til 1am just in case if chris is late or something, but nothing. cory starts to cry pathetically, finally having had enough time to process everything, he comes to accept the fact that chris isn't real, he never was. he was just a figment of his imagination to cope with the fact that he is lonely and nobody likes him in that manner. every intimate moment they've shared was nothing but cory's imagination. he might be a bit of a schizophrenic or just has delusions that he convinces himself so well that he believes what's happening is real. when its not. cory is left alone in his room, crying with nobody to show his love to
__________☆★☆__________
title: blurry vision | date: 15th dec 2023
unclear, but it's there.
lets use fkn brian and uhhhh mike as random names
brian and mike spend a night together. they had a lot of fun together during the day, so they were exhausted. mike? not so much, he could stay up. brian falls dead asleep while mike tries to sleep but ends up staying up for a few more hours.
brian wakes up, looking over at mike and sees him sleeping with his back turned towards him. he gets up and goes to the bathroom. he goes to the sink and looks up only to see a red lipstick kiss stain on his left cheek. he's confused since he's 100% sure it was NOT mike because they're both straight guys and have only been close friends. but who else would've done it?? it was just brian and mike in the house.
he leaves the bathroom, walking over to mike and peeking over his shoulder. his lips are stained red with lipstick.
__________☆★☆__________
title: untitled | date: 13th may 2024
fanfic idea: A takes good care of B. B is always comforted and loved, but even with all the love and comfort he just cant seem to stop feeling insecure. theres constant reassurance, but B just keeps on being apologetic and always continuously blaming himself. the comfort doesnt seem to help him at all. A helps him wake up, A helps him brush his teeth, A helps him calm down after a day of school, A helps him eat, A helps him drink, A helps him take a bath, A comforts him when its time to sleep.
A and B are lying in bed together, the lights are warm and dim. A is holding B close to reassure him that he's there and B can sleep quietly. B can't fall asleep with cold feet; his feet are always cold. B shoves his feet in between A's legs to warm them up. A's body is always so warm.
B's legs never warm up. B sighs and hugs his pillow tightly, realizing nobody's warmth is there to comfort him. only his cold and lone body.
__________☆★☆__________
a piece from a note | date: 8th july 2024
put your hands on my ribs and push me into the mattress. leave prints of your beautiful hands on my skin. my skin is a blank canvas for you to decorate. if it disgusts you, ruin it. put your frustrations into it, scratch at my pale skin til it turns red like your heart. you have a kind heart. you deserve to be pleased. do what you want to do
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two pieces from a note | date: 9th aug 2024
he'll trace every bump of my ribcage and fine the parts i hate the most i hate it the most the most the most
i want him to touch me like hes sculpting me out of clay gross muddy dirty clay im his mould right under his fingertips and he is tracing and touching everything like its the kindest creation but its not but is it ? because his hands are perfect but his clay is not but it is but its not but his hands are perfect so his creation is perfect but its not it so is not perfect its so unwell and painful to touch but to him its not to him its not. my body is ill but to him its not. its not. its not. it is not. its .not