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“The view’s very nice, isn’t it?”
Koushi tries not to grimace. He feels the hot breath on the side of his neck as Tooru’s smug voice breaks through the stillness of the cold, morning air. Then he has to grit his teeth to keep his temper in check when Tooru starts to nibble on one of his earlobes.
The horizon's starting to bleed pink, then blazing orange, into the indigo sky. Nice view, indeed, if not for the uncomfortable, stickiness of blood drying on his clothes. He wants to shrug off the hand uncomfortably draped over his shoulder, but if he does, a certain idiot will probably fall flat on the ground. He sighs when Tooru goes into another coughing fit, then he carefully wraps an arm around his waist to steady him.
“You know it’ll be easier for you if you stop talking.”
Tooru just laughs.
“Is that you worrying about me?” Then he coughs again, accidentally sending blood splatters on to Koushi’s forehead.
“Sorry. How about a kiss or two? Maybe it'll take away my pain,” he adds, leaning in and puckering his lips towards Koushi’s. Tooru’s hand also finds its way inside his shirt, his fingers tracing familiar, small circles on Koushi's lower back.
Koushi's had enough of the false bravado and misplaced flirtatiousness that Tooru's been putting up ever since he got wounded a few hours ago.
“I'm going to continue Kageyama’s poor job of finishing you off if you don’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“Aw, come on. What are you so angry about? Look, don’t you find it romantic? Beautiful sunrise, with only the two of us around…” Tooru ends his sentence with his signature arrogant smile which, Koushi suspects, is an attempt at a cover-up for the slight tremor that has begin throughout his body.
Koushi ignores him and looks towards the south east direction instead. There's still no sign of the back-up he’s contacted an hour ago, and he’s starting to get really worried. Tooru's been bleeding from a gunshot wound for a little over an hour and even though he refuses to let Koushi take a look, it’s obvious that the damage is a serious one. Maybe a punctured lung, from the way Tooru is holding his left side in an effort to staunch the blood flow and the blood he keeps coughing out.
“They're sure taking their time. Let me take a look at your wound,” Koushi says impatiently.
“Nah, I’m fine. Besides, we don’t have bandages and stuff and I’m sure they'll be here soon. I hope they’ve sent Yuutarou and Akira. I don’t think I can handle Iwa-chan or those crazy duo. They’re going to make fun of me because I’m supposed to have a zero-injury track record...”
The way he easily waves off his injury gets on Koushi’s nerves, but his concern wins over his violent tendencies so he just tightens his hold on Tooru. Tooru Oikawa doesn’t have a zero injury track record. It’s quite the opposite. Everyone who knows him acknowledge his skills, but it’s his recklessness and lack of a sense of self-preservation that puts him on the same level as stupid. He just keeps on meeting every danger head on as if death is a foreign concept for him. Koushi’s feels like his main job is to keep those injuries minimal ever since they were partnered together, only allowing scratches and bruises and the occasional gashes on bad days. He has anticipated that there will be moments that will be out of his control, but this is the worst injury that Tooru has gotten during his career and it worries him how Tooru, with all his arrogance, is taking the situation too lightly.
“Say, Suga-chan, do you feel sad now that Tobio-chan’s dead? You used to dote on him.”
He flinches at the name and the melancholy in Tooru’s voice. It’s actually Tooru who was closer to Tobio Kageyama, who used to get in petty squabbles with the younger guy when they were still in the academy, but Koushi doesn’t have the heart to point that out. He was a dear kouhai, but it doesn’t cancel the truth that he was a spy who had been feeding highly classified information to a large terrorist organization.
“Of course I’m sad,” Koushi replies after a few minutes, “I’m more than sad, but he’s a spy and it’s our job to take him down. It’ll help if you stop thinking that he was the same boy we met back then. He was not. He didn’t hesitate to shoot you, remember?”
“Yeah, well, we came here to kill him… I would do that too if it were me,” Tooru says in between gasps.
“Please stop talking,” Koushi tells him instead, “and it’d probably be better if you cough out the blood.”
“Suga-chan…”
Koushi reaches out to wipe the blood from the corners of Tooru’s lips. “I’m serious. Shut up, will you?”
“What would you do if I turn out to be a spy too? Will you come after me?”
“Yes,” Koushi answers. Tooru doesn’t need to know that he’s thinking the opposite. His ego is already too inflated, even without Koushi adding more fuel.
“Huh,” Tooru laughs, “you didn’t even hesitate. Me? I can't even aim a gun at you.”
Koushi doesn't reply as he feels more warm blood seeping into his shirt. There's a bitter taste in his mouth as he steals a glance behind them, where a black body bag is partly hidden beneath a clump of overgrown grass.
“I wanted to ask him why,” Tooru says, “but the little bastard started shooting before I could talk. I was hurt, you know. Do you think he was just overly paranoid and he didn’t know it was us?”
He doesn't know how to answer that one. He too, is thinking that maybe, if Tobio surrendered quietly, there would be no need to take his life. He could've served his sentence in some high security prison where Tooru and Koushi could visit him. But their daily lives has always been a myriad of bloody uncertainties where principles range from the whitest of pearls to the blackest of onyxes. The one thing perhaps, that is embedded in them as they live this kind of life, is not to get taken down without fighting. Tobio fought for his life, and that's it. They had been told repeatedly that a friend today can be your target tomorrow. They all listened and took it to heart, but the graveness of such matter can only be fully understood until they experience it for real. At least, those series of torturous mental and psychological training proves to be useful as he catches himself feeling like crying. Koushi takes a deep breath and empties his mind of any sentimentality.
“If you had taken the time to read the reports or even listen to the mission briefings, you would know that there are motion sensors and cameras outside that house. And don’t forget that he’s also an accomplished hacker so he must have had an idea who was assigned to go after him. Of course, he was expecting us.”
What irks Koushi the most, is that this mission is supposed to be of mid-level difficulty. There was supposed to be a low risk for fatal injuries since they were well informed beforehand. They were going to take advantage of the gaps between the high-tech surveillance, but Tooru’s vanity refused to use such ‘underhanded’ methods. He insisted on using one of the back windows and of course, he had to use one with a trip sensor. Tooru Oikawa has that kind of luck, after all.
Koushi feels his irritation welling up the surface again, along with the urge to beat up Tooru for his pigheadedness. He bites on his lower lip to keep himself from lashing out. Then, thankfully, the distant rumble of rotors interrupts his unpleasant train of thoughts. "Finally," he mutters, feeling relief flooding his system.
From the sound, he estimates that it’ll take about five minutes before the helicopter gets to where they are and since there are no possible landing sites near them, airborne extraction will be the only way. Tooru’s condition might get worse, and he’s already looking paler with each passing minute.
“Hey, Suga-chan…”
Koushi sighs with exasperation. “Oikawa-san,” he says, using the most formal tone he can muster, “if you want to die that badly, just say so. I think I still have a couple of bullets left.”
Tooru grins at him, his teeth stained with blood which unsettles Koushi.
“What can I do, I have a lot of things I want to say. Like, black really suits you and I like your new hair cut..."
Koushi almost rolls his eyes when he feels Tooru's fingers on his nape, possibly smearing blood in the process. He tries ignoring him again, but Tooru keeps talking. He never did learn how to shut up.
"And also," Tooru lowers his voice which gives Koushi an idea on what's coming, "how much I love y- ow! I’m injured, remember? No karate chops for now, please.”
“Then stop talking, damn it!”
Koushi can’t remember exactly why they ended up together. They were classmates back then, but they weren’t exactly friends. He does vaguely remember a lot of booze and a somewhat questionable circle of common friends which keeps them connected even though they were not talking. They were just two people, barely brushing each other's orbit, until Koushi woke up the morning of their post graduation celebration with an aching body, a massive hangover, the gross stickiness on his thighs and lower abdomen, and Tooru’s limbs wrapped around him. They’ve been together since then.
“Going out, sort of…” Koushi has been using those words over and over whenever someone asks him what his relationship with Tooru Oikawa is. He has no idea how, but it has been unwritten rule between the two of them, that those three particular words are sort of taboo. Or maybe, it became a secret competition for the two of them, on who will give in and admit defeat first. Koushi grudgingly admits that he does have the same amount of unnecessary pride, rivaling Tooru's.
“How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?” Koushi asks, but his voice lacks heat. He’s not going to listen because he's scared that it might be the last time he is going to hear those words from Tooru.
"Will you give me a kiss then? Since you won't let me do it."
“No.”
Tooru leans in anyway. “Why?” he asks and continues to lean closer.
“You have blood in your mouth. You’re badly injured. I don’t-”
The kiss that cuts him off is sloppy and messy, and bloody. He’s not fond of the metallic taste in his mouth, but he finds it reassuring even though Tooru’s lips are trembling, they're still soft and warm. He savors the moment until it registers to him that they are well within the visual field of whoever is piloting the helicopter.
Tooru doesn’t resist when Koushi pushes him away, instead, he drops his head on the crook of Koushi’s neck and shoulder. Koushi sighs, thinking that Tooru's finally going to shut up, but then-
“Will you say yes if I ask to you to marry me right now?”
Koushi almost chokes.
“…is that blood loss speaking?” he asks, unsure if he heard him right.
But Tooru chooses that moment to faint. He would’ve fallen down if Koushi isn't supporting him. To make sure that he’s still alive, he moves his right hand over Tooru’s neck and lightly presses his fingers to his jugular. It’s still there – his pulse is weak, but steady.
Then the deafening noise from the helicopter is right above, with dust and dried leaves accompanying the gust swirling around them.
“Hey! I saw that! Do you guys always kiss like that after your missions? Like, you know, some kind of a ‘good job’? Holy sh— is that blood? Why are you two bleeding!?”
“Just your luck,” Koushi tells the unconscious Tooru. “It’s your favorite duo.”
Takahiro Hanamaki’s light brown hair has always been a nice contrast against the standard over-all black uniform of their organization. Right now, he’s shouting down at them through a megaphone and Koushi has no interest on how he got hold of it. The guy has always been a lucrative one, along with his partner Issei Matsukawa who's no doubt, the one piloting the aircraft.
“So, are you done kissing? I’m coming down. Do I need to bring a stretcher? Oh right, never mind, I can’t hear you. I’m bringing one anyway!”
If he has the spare energy, he will be laughing out loud. But it’s taking all of Koushi's will power to keep both of them upright. His arms are grossly slick and sticky with sweat and blood, and he feels weak from the combination of fatigue from last night and the relief from seeing Takahiro who’s a licensed medic.
“Hi, rescue squad at your service!” Takahiro yells as soon as he lands, a few meters away from them. “Again, holy shit, what the hell happened? Let me guess, Oikawa’s the one who’s almost dead. No wait, I phrased it wrong. I mean is he still alive?”
Koushi looks down and cringes at the sight of a blood pool, where Tooru was standing a few minutes ago.
“Yeah, barely. You can take him up first. I can manage by myself."
“Okay… but Issei says that we only have three or four minutes, top. The wind’s too strong so he won’t be able to come down this low a second time. You’ll have to take the body with you,” Takahiro nods towards the bushes, “are you okay with that?”
Another option is to send him and Tooru up first, but Koushi knows he doesn’t have enough strength to give proper support and he might end up making things worse for Tooru's injury.
“Yeah, sure. Take care of him, okay?” He helps Takahiro strap Tooru to the stretcher.
“Damn, he looks pale. We’ll probably have to start a transfusion soon. When you told us over the phone that he's injured, I didn't know that it's this bad.”
Koushi can only nod. He doesn't trust himself to speak since he's on the verge of breaking down. “Yeah, that would be the best, I guess…”
“Don’t worry, Suga-san, this one's going to live. You know he’ll never last a day without you.” Takahiro quotes a line from Tooru’s drunken speech during his own birthday a few months back. And then he added, “Imagine what kind of ruckus he’s going to raise when he wakes up and finds himself in hell and you’re not there.”
Koushi laughs weakly. “Hell, huh…”
“Where else would be guys like us going?” Takahiro tells him jokingly.
Koushi doesn’t tell Takahiro that if he loses Tooru, he thinks he’ll also find himself in hell. He nods again, and does his best to offer a smile as Takahiro starts starts to ascend. Then he has no choice, but to turn towards the direction of Kageyama’s remains.
* * *
His superiors were supposed to give him this assignment as a solo agent, but Tooru, despite how their friends will always treat him like an idiot, is too smart for his own good. It was just a small slip up on his part, just a few minutes of reminiscing while looking through one of their photo albums, and Tooru had him figured out.
“So they’re going after him, huh? And they’re sending you.”
Koushi smiles bitterly to himself. He could have denied it, but he never had the heart to lie to Tooru.
“It’s okay. I heard some of our informants talking about how Tobio’s location has been confirmed. I kinda figured it out when they called you back when we’re supposed to be on vacation.”
Tooru took the photo album from him and even though he had his back turned to him, Koushi knew that his partner was hurting. On that picture, he and Tooru were holding out their beer cans, wearing identical goofy grins, while Kageyama sat in between them looking like the bratty kouhai that he was.
Even though he made the decision to be the one to take Kageyama’s life, it was still Tooru who pulled the trigger. It was still Tooru who had to put the bullet into Kageyama’s forehead because Koushi was a beat too slow to notice that their former comrade had a gun aimed at them beneath the folds of his over sized jacket.
Koushi doesn’t bother hiding that he’s been crying as Takahiro helps him in to the helicopter after hauling the body bag first. There’s a sudden jolt as the helicopter starts to tilt sideways, and he hears Issei shouting from the cockpit.
“Close that damn door, we need to leave now!”
As soon as the airborne vehicle stabilizes, Koushi kneels beside Tooru’s unconscious body, barely noticing that having the black body bag beside him is quite ominous. He can barely speak due to the tightness in his throat.
“Just this once, I wanted to take this burden for him.”
Takahiro gently pats him on his head and hands him a towel. “I know. You can always scold him as soon as he wakes up. Help me remove his clothes so that I can try to fix him up.”
He takes the bandage scissors and cuts Tooru’s shirt open. A groan escapes his throat when he sees the placement of the bullet wound. He looks up and sees Takahiro’s grim expression.
“I’ll take it from here. Help me prep the Blood Transfusion Set.”
Koushi nods silently. He doesn't have formal training, but he did spent a couple of months assisting Takahiro in Afghanistan so he knows his way around first aid. He takes a deep breath and turns towards the cockpit. He opens his mouth to speak but the pilot interrupts him.
“I got it. I’m heading towards the nearest hospital as soon as we cross the border. I’m not letting that idiot die since he still owes me money.”
There was a stretch of awkward silence, filled in by the noise of the rotors outside.
“He'll live. He owes me baseball tickets for losing that poker game yesterday,” says Takahiro sometime later as he takes Tooru’s blood pressure, “so yes, he’s not allowed to uh, pass on.”
Koushi feels grateful for the confident reassurance behind their friend’s voices. His hands are trembling as he double checks the label on the cold blood bag, but his fear is gradually waning so he forces a smile and indulgently gives a comment.
“Yeah… he owes me a lot of things too. He didn’t even remember that tomorrow’s going to be our anniversary…”
“Boo! Show off.” Takahiro shakes his head in amusement. "Congratulations."
* * *
Takahiro manages to convince Koushi to take a quick bath to clean the blood on him while a doctor looks over Tooru in one of the hospital’s private rooms. When he comes out of the shower, Issei's the one waiting for him. Tooru has been changed into a hospital gown and the blood on him is also wiped off. His expression looks peaceful, though he still looks pale. It's just another normal day for them in their chosen career where the only difference that matters is whether an agent is dead or alive. Tooru's badly injured, but he's alive and Koushi can't remember a 'normal' day, for them, where he is as grateful like this time.
He starts walking towards Tooru's bed when he hears Issei sniggering. Koushi narrows his eyes, daring him to say anything. He's rolled the shirt’s long sleeves until it came up to his elbow, but he cannot do anything about his pants which is a good ten centimeters past his feet.
Issei clears his throat without looking away, the ghost of a smirk still at the corners of his lips. “I didn't saying anything,” he says.
Koushi considers a retort, but dismisses it at once. He's not in the mood for a verbal sparring. “You can leave. Aren’t you supposed to be bringing Tobio back to the headquarters?”
Issei cocks an eyebrow at him, as if he’s not making any sense. “Your partner’s injured and unconscious and you’re looking dead on your feet. Who do you think's going to take care of you two?”
“Point taken.” Koushi can't help but agree.
“Anyway,” Issei continues, "they’re sending someone to pick him up. Takahiro’s putting the body in the hospital’s morgue for the mean time. I can’t believe that headquarter will have connections even in rural hospitals like this.”
The mention of the ‘body’ still brings a bitter taste to Koushi’s mouth so he doesn’t reply. It's not the first death he's witnessed, but it's the first one he's seen with Tooru getting injured afterwards which gives him difficulty in getting back his peace of mind. He drags a chair and makes himself comfortable beside the hospital bed and he hears Issei sighing behind him.
“They’ve given him painkillers, and the doctor said that Takahiro had done well with first aid so he’s out of danger now. It’s a good thing too that the bullet had exited cleanly, though that must’ve hurt like hell. It grazed a lung, but that’s all. So why don’t you go to sleep? Both of you had a rough night, after all.”
And Koushi will not argue against that. He straightens the folds on the bed sheet beside Tooru, folds his arms and rests his head on them.
“Hey! Not there. There’s another bed over here, for heaven’s sake.” Issei scolds him.
“I’m fine, I want to stay beside him…” he remembers mumbling before his body succumbs to sleep.
* * *
Koushi wakes up with a groan. His arms feel like lead and his back aches. He slowly raises his head and finds Tooru awake and sitting upright. Someone's given him pillows to lean against.
“I'm glad to see you’re okay.” Koushi tells him, squinting then closing his eyes against the morning brightness as he unsuccessfully stifles a yawn. He can’t believe he slept yesterday afternoon ‘till morning. He briefly remembers Issei waking him up at some point last night and telling him to go to sleep on the other bed.
He opens an eye to look at Tooru when he doesn’t get a reply.
“… why aren’t you speaking?” Koushi asks and frowns when Tooru deliberately turns away from him.
“Uh…why are you sulking?”
“Why are you wearing Takahiro’s clothes?” Tooru asks while stubbornly looking down at his lap.
The question throws Koushi off track and he blinks as he realizes what Tooru means.
"Oh, this one,” he says, looking down at the over-sized academy sweat shirt he is wearing. Then he laughs. “Takahiro lent it to me yesterday. Don’t tell me you’re sulking because of this?”
Tooru looks at him with an expression like he was cheated on.
“… would you rather I stay naked? Because someone’s been bleeding all over my clothes yesterday.” And Koushi feels a sense of satisfaction as guilt shows up on Tooru’s face.
Tooru mumbles something and Koushi pretends not to hear it.
“What’s that?”
“I’m sorry.” Tooru tells him in a louder voice.
He still sounds begrudging so Koushi decides to play him for a little longer.
“For what?”
Tooru keeps quiet for a couple of minutes before he sighs. He visibly grimaces as the action strains his wound and Koushi almost forgives him completely.
“I’m sorry... for going ahead of myself and not listening to you yesterday. I’m sorry for being cocky and for lying about reading the mission briefing.”
Koushi leans over the bed and kisses Tooru on his forehead. “There. That isn’t so hard, isn’t it? Don’t scare me like that again.”
He feels Tooru's arms snaking around his waist. “Hey, your wound—“ he begins to scold him.
“I’m fine. Just let me hug you for a moment. I’m sorry, too, for scaring you.”
Koushi feels his arm muscles protesting as he tries his best to support his body to prevent putting any weight on Tooru’s injury. He hesitates for a second, but decides to take advantage of the situation while Tooru is still compliant and guilty, not his usual annoying, smug, and arrogant self.
“Tooru, you’re not allowed to do that again.”
“Yes.”
“You’re not taking another mission without reading the briefings. At least five times.”
“Okay,” Tooru answers without missing a beat.
“You’re going to apologize to Iwaizumi, Takahiro and Issei. You got them worried too.”
“…fine,” Tooru agrees after a brief pause.
Koushi bites his inner cheek. Tooru being obedient, is indeed a moment to remember. “You’ll stop calling me Suga-chan. Everyone who hears it the first time thinks it's a girl's name.”
“Uhh…”
Koushi laughs, unable to stop himself. He gently removes Tooru’s arms from his waist so that he can sit comfortably on the bed. “I’m kidding,” he says, taking Tooru’s hand and entwining their fingers together, “but that awful ‘Refreshing-kun’ will have to go.”
“As you wish.”
"I'll shoot you if you don't keep your words."
"Fair enough."
“By the way, I don’t know if you remember, but you asked me to marry you before you passed out.”
“But... I was serious about that!” Tooru protests.
“About that, you can ask me again as soon as you get out of the hospital. Maybe I’ll think about it.”
Koushi suppresses another smile because Tooru looks offended. He's about to tease his boyfriend more when he hears a knock. He stands up to get the door, but Tooru doesn’t let go of his hand. “The door—“
“Happy anniversary,” Tooru says, smiling.
At the same time, the door opens and Issei comes in first, holding a ridiculously huge red roses bouquet, followed by Takahiro pushing a small serving, cart. Koushi sees champagne in a bucket of ice among plates of food.
“Happy anniversary,” Issei says with a straight face.
"Um, what are you guys doing?" Koushi asks after getting over his surprise, and laughing at the sight of the expressionless Issei holding the flower bouquet.
“It's a thank you for tolerating our pet, Shitty-kawa, for this one year, Sugawara-san. May the gods bless you with more patience and less common sense so you won't be running away from him anytime soon.” Takahiro bows exaggeratedly as he presents the food cart with an equally flashy gesture.
“Hey, stop with the slander!” Tooru complains.
Koushi looks down at Tooru who’s frowning at Takahiro’s direction. He can feel his cheeks flushed with one part, embarrassment and one part, pleasant surprise. He tightens his fingers around Tooru’s to get his attention and as soon as Tooru turns to look at him, he mouths a ‘thank you’. Then Issei gives the flower bouquet to Tooru who hands it to Koushi. Then in an enthusiastic voice, he says, “Alright, since the patient’s not allowed to eat anything at the moment, we’ll enjoy the food and drinks for him.”
Koushi feels stupid for grinning and yet, in the back of his mind, he's already decided that he’ll say ‘yes’ as soon as Tooru pops the marriage question again. There's a moment of hesitation, but Koushi decides that it's fine to admit defeat this time. He can always get back at Tooru if he ever finds the need, so he bends down and whispers in Tooru’s ear, “Fine. I love you.”
He’s too embarrassed to look at Tooru’s expression, so heads towards Takahiro to help him with the food. But his face must’ve been too flushed because Takahiro won’t stop looking at him with a knowing smile and behind them, he can hear Issei asking Tooru, “What the hell are you looking so happy for, you creep?”