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Eddie’s not sure how it happened, it’s not as if they really hugged a lot before. But here they are now, in each other’s arms. Gun to his head Eddie couldn’t tell you who had initiated it, but suddenly Steve was pressed up against him, grasping ahold of him with Eddie grasping back just as tightly.
They haven’t talked about it, since it happened. Since their night together. Their night of frenzied, sensual connection, having brought each other over the brink of delirious pleasure.
And now breathing him in deeper, Eddie gasps softly, nosing at his neck. The scent of him is so dizzying; hairspray and expensive cologne and something musky that is entirely Steve. Eddie’s awash with memories from that night, all that's missing is the faint smell of chlorine. Swallowing hard, Steve’s grip falters but he doesn’t let go.
So Eddie, heart hammering in his chest, takes a risk; pressing his lips to a mole on Steve’s neck, one of his favorites near his jaw. The kiss is soft and chaste, barely there and yet it blazes within Eddie. Steve’s barely audible, breathy little uhh in response makes Eddie’s head swim. His embrace stays strong and sure. Cupping his cheek, Steve tilts his face up and Eddie meets his nervous gaze. Time briefly stands still before their lips are meeting.
It’s delicate and warm and Eddie feels lightheaded again, feels lightheaded still, against the keen, subtle pressure of Steve’s mouth smoldering against Eddie’s. It grows more urgent. Desperate. Hot. Wet. Perfect. Eddie feels like he's catching on fire as they taste each other, the firm lines of their clothed bodies pressed together but Steve’s hands ground him. Clutched close just like Steve had done that night, like Eddie’s precious and important. Eddie cradles him right back, with as much devotion as he can impress upon him. This is the first time they’ve kissed since that night. The first time they've touched since that night, since the morning after when they awoke after sleeping together, like literal sleeping. He remembers the feel of his cheek against Steve’s chest. Steve’s sleep soft hands on his stomach and shoulder. Steve’s fluffy hair tickling his cheek. Steve's steady breath warm against Eddie’s neck.
That night and subsequent morning were seared into Eddie’s brain, frequently playing behind his eyelids, and wedged into his heart as so much more than the perfect one night stand. As much as he’s tried, and boy has he tried, Eddie still can’t stop himself from believing it’s something more, for both of them. Images of Steve naked and writhing, eager and worshipful skip through Eddie’s mind.
Flush with heat and yearning; they're both getting hard but their touching doesn't escalate. Even with their hands roving all over each other, neither slips their fingers beneath the hem of their shirts or past the waistband of their jeans. They just hold one another and kiss, clutching to each other and relishing in this fragile moment. Eddie recognizes the seeds of care that spark between them, remembering how they felt that night, tender and practically loving. But it’s something else now, something more, as they tremble in each other’s embrace.
Clawing at his back through his polo Eddie moans into Steve’s mouth and he makes a needy groan in answer that Eddie swallows hungrily. Threading fingers into his curls, Steve pulls him impossibly closer still and Eddie can feel the hard press of his desire against his hip and Eddie’s just as excited but still neither makes a move to go further than this. Even though they’re both straining in their jeans, the fevered ache Eddie feels for Steve in this moment has very little to do with his own lust. And he thinks Steve must feel the same way too as he continues to touch Eddie without sexual urgency, merely the sensuous need for closeness.
Breathing softly, Steve pulls back and his eyes are so full of devotion, looking at Eddie head on. He’s so achingly beautiful, Eddie thinks but he can see the furrows of shame etching between Steve’s brows and a niggling fear creeping into his lovely eyes. Already feeling so much Eddie can’t help but whimper with the loss of his lips and the profound sorrow in his gaze, feeling his own hurt knotting and twisting painfully in his gut. He tightens his grip on Steve. Eddie doesn’t want him to pull away, doesn’t want to let him go.
Steve rests his forehead against his neck making Eddie shiver with the proximity, his hot breath bleeds through Eddie’s threadbare t-shirt. In a shaky whisper, Steve murmurs against him, “I hate how fucking scared I am.”
Eddie’s heart beats harshly, rising up into his throat. His fingers want to loosen their hold on Steve, to run or taunt, but he refuses to give in. He doesn't want to let go.
“I’ve fought literal fucking monsters,” he scoffs, lifting his head off his shoulder. “Why is this-” Steve gestures in the scant space between them. “-still so fucking terrifying.”
Forcing his eyes closed, Eddie wills himself not to cry. They’re going to go back to not talking about this again, as if what happened didn’t so clearly and so viscerally matter to both of them. Well if Steve wants to go, if he wants to pretend, he’s going to have to have to do it himself because Edward Vincent Munson is done fucking running.
Swallowing hard, Eddie braces himself and looks at him. The fear is still there, but there’s an intrinsic determination that wasn’t there before, a crystalline indomitable quality shifting over Steve’s visage. Eddie’s brow furrows in confusion and even as his heart thunders in his chest, a tiny bubble of hope swells there too.
His eyes grow fond, taking Eddie in. “I’ve done so much stuff scared fucking shitless. Used to do it all the time and none of it was even remotely as good as this.” Watching Steve with a pining, doe-eyed stare, he touches Eddie’s chest. He must be able to feel his heart trying to beat it’s way out of him as Steve’s voice stutters, “In- in fact most of it was awful shit I did not want to do and almost all of it absolutely fucking bit it, man! But this…” Steve trails off, spreading his long fingers out over Eddie’s sternum, as if he can’t get enough of him. Barely breathing, Eddie swallows thickly. Steve brushes his other thumb along Eddie’s cheek. “Even though I’m scared as all hell, I really really want this.”
A thousand minute expressions must flutter across Eddie’s face, shifting between joy and confusion, awe and need as he searches Steve’s face. And his eyes never leave Eddie through it all. Swaying imperceptibly closer to Steve, his expression finally settles. Hazy and bewildered, Eddie wheezes out a hopeful, “Yea?”
“You asking for clarification or is that you agreeing?”
He worries his lip between his teeth. “Both.”
With a shuddery chuckle, “Well good. That’s good-” He smiles sweetly. “-cause I like you.”
A blinding grin spreads on Eddie’s face and he feels the tears building again but this time they’re not from hurt or sorrow. They’re from a joy that eclipses his fears. He wraps his arms around Steve’s waist and dips him, claiming his plush lips in a fairytale kiss. Steve huffs in delighted surprise but quickly kisses him back just as fervently, opening to him eagerly. Eddie devours every moan and sigh that spills from his mouth as things heat up a little more. Steve slips a hand into his back pocket, the one with the bandana, and squeezes his ass through his jeans, grinding their clothed lengths against each other in the process. He whines with renewed vigor, “Fuck Eddie, I like you so much.”
Even through their pressing lust, the sparkle of requited like and desire dance in his veins as he digs his fingers into Steve’s back, pulling him upright once more. The tears don’t fall as he tries to tease but the overwhelming sincerity in his voice drones through plain as day, “Well how fortuitous, cause I really like you too, Stevie.”
Beaming with confident resplendence, Steve’s beauty is beyond words and it takes Eddie’s breath away. In that moment it seems to clear away the dust and the cobwebs of so much fear. The smile gets softer, more vulnerable but with so much conviction as he speaks, “Well good, cause I wanna- wanna be brave… for you.” Eddie sucks in a ragged breath, stunned into a rare silence. Steve nimbly cups the back of his neck, tender fingers at the base of his skull. His open gaze never leaves Steve’s face. “And you make me wanna be brave for myself too.”
Tears glisten in Eddie's stunned dark eyes but they don’t fall. They’re frozen with with him in rapturous awe of this incandescently beautiful, utterly real, brave boy in his arms.
Eddie reaches up and touches his face, to make sure this is real. Steve eyes slip shut and he presses a gentle kiss to his fingertips and Eddie feels three little words bloom under his skin. Words that are far too big. Words that it’s probably far too soon to even think. But before Eddie has the chance to insanely stammer them out anyway, Steve’s tugging him in by the waist and capturing his mouth in an earth shattering kiss. And Eddie melts into the frenetic embrace, swallowing his attentions and basking in his touch. Giving just as good as he gets, threading his fingers into Steve’s hair and clutching his hip. Steve whines and shivers against him, moaning and sighing with untethered affection.
And Eddie lets himself think and feel those three huge, little words instead.