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The guys met at the entrance of the school. Almost a week had passed since Baekjin's memorial. The mood was terrible for everyone. The death of a teenager is always a tragedy. Especially a teenager you knew... Each of them was coping with it in their own way, and it was hard for everyone.
Sieun found it the hardest to watch Baku as he broke down at the mourning altar. He felt it deeply: it was frighteningly easy to imagine himself standing there in front of Suho's portrait. He felt so, so sorry for Baku. Even though he hadn’t held warm feelings for Baekjin himself, he meant a lot to his friend. That was clearer now than ever.
"How is he?" Sieun asked quietly as he approached Gotak. Gotak lifted his weary gaze to him.
"He doesn’t respond to messages, doesn’t pick up the phone... His father says he’s stopped leaving his room. Even he understands that Baku..."
Gotak trailed off again and sighed heavily. Sieun nodded knowingly, looking down at his feet.
"We need to give him time," he said, not looking at his friend. "When Suho... fell into a coma, I couldn’t do anything either... I couldn’t eat or sleep..."
He lifted his soft gaze to Hyeontak, while Juntae placed his hand on his forearm.
"We’ll bring him back," Shiin concluded. "After all. We won’t let him sink into this."
"Of course not," Gotak shook his head and clutched his hair at the back of his neck. "I’m just so... worried about him!"
"We all are," Juntae supported, continuing to hold onto his friend's hand. In his eyes, Gotak found hope and began to calm down.
***
Humin felt like he had cried all his tears away. No more came. His chest still felt like it was being torn apart. He couldn’t take it anymore. Not even his father could get him out of bed. Baku seemed glued to it.
Losing a childhood friend and losing Baekjin were not the same thing, and Humin was starting to understand that. He could move on as long as Baekjin was out there somewhere: in another school, in the Union, in America... it didn’t matter. Just somewhere out there, not in a coffin...
Humin had dark dreams that felt more like fevered visions. He held Baekjin tightly in his arms. A viscous, clingy dream seemed to suck Baku into itself. The lifeless eyes of Baekjin looked into his soul, dissolving him, helping him merge with someone he couldn’t let go of. And then he would wake up...
Days blurred into one. Baku didn’t know how much time had passed; at some point, his friends decided it was enough. He had good friends. He would give his life for them just as he would for Baekjin...
"Baku, have you even eaten?!" Gotak fussed over him, shaking him by the shoulders.
"We should have come earlier... He’s lost so much weight!" he muttered, glancing over his shoulder at Sieun and Juntae.
"He blames himself," Baku thought understandingly.
His friends buzzed around him like annoying bees. They tried to feed him, care for him, look after him. For once, Baku was pleased to feel like a victim rather than a protector. He relaxed, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
He woke up in a hospital under IV drips. His head was spinning. The ceiling swam before his eyes. He felt the muscles in his shoulders tense as he caught sight of a familiar face.
"Baekjin...!"
"Humin-a-a..."
Strong hands pushed him back into the bed. A vaguely familiar voice chuckled lazily:
"Oh, look who’s awake... BAKU! Like a city in..." the voice snorted. — "I can’t remember where! No matter how hard I try!"
"Suho..." Baku mumbled grumpily from above. He finally understood it was Sieun. Things began to clear up before his eyes and in his mind. He propped himself up on his elbows.
“Baku, just lie down...” Gotak murmured, gently pushing him back onto the pillow. “The doctor said to rest.”
Suho chuckled cheerfully.
“He tells everyone that!”
Baku finally gave in, leaning his head back against the pillow and staring at the ceiling. There was no point in arguing with these idiots. He crossed his arms over his chest. Baekjin once again took over his thoughts. Baku let out a quiet groan, pressing his palms against his forehead.
“Hey, what’s wrong?...” Gotak asked anxiously. “Are you feeling bad? Should I call the doctor?...”
Baku waved off his persistent hands.
“No...”
“Maybe he needs to rest?” Juntae suggested uncertainly. Baku hadn’t heard his voice yet but was glad he was there too. All his friends. Almost all of them... He held back a sob.
Soon, the visitors were escorted out of the room, leaving Suho and Baku alone. Baku managed to eat a little, although a piece wouldn’t go down his throat. Suho, on the other hand, ate with great appetite, just like in the old days.
“Is it good?...” he tossed at his roommate. Baku grimaced and nodded, pushing away the plate of noodles. “You should eat more. The last time I saw you, you were so big. Just like a bear!”
Baku snorted. Suho laughed and wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“Can I ask...?”
“What?” Baku replied without thinking.
“Who is... Baek... Baekjin...?” Suho asked hesitantly, not looking at him. Baku felt a shiver run through him. “Sieun mentioned him a bit. You said his name when you woke up.”
He said it as if it meant nothing. For some reason, it bothered Baku.
“A friend,” he cut off sharply. Suho nodded, letting out a sad hum.
“Someone special, huh?”
Baku shot up his head.
“What?...”
Suho set his chopsticks down in the bowl and, chewing slowly, said:
“The one you think about first when something bad happens.”
Baku bitterly smirked, not lifting his gaze.
“He’s dead.”
Suho’s expression changed in an instant. He bit his tongue.
“I’m sorry...”
Baku shook his head. A lump rose in his throat.
They didn’t speak anymore. Only before going to sleep did Suho wish him goodnight when he was already asleep.
***
The next day, Sieun received a call from an unknown number. An arrogant voice answered on the other end.
“There’s something to discuss.”
“Who is this?”
The stranger burst into a hoarse laugh.
“Already forgotten me? That’s hurtful,” he hissed.
“Geom Seongje,” Sieun sighed.
“Is that disappointment I hear in your voice?”
“What do you want? The Union is over. We have nothing more to talk about.”
He was about to hang up, but Seongje hurriedly shouted:
“Wait! This is for Baku!”
Sieun froze with the phone pressed to his ear.
“You want to help him, right? I saw him crying at the memorial. It broke my heart!” Seongje dramatically exhaled and finished: “In general, it’s better not to talk about this over the phone…”
“Stop playing with me. I’m serious!”
Seongje sighed and gave Sieun an address. He ended the call. The room fell into silence. It was an abandoned warehouse filled with junk that once belonged to some restaurant. Baekjin sat heavily hunched over a table. He lifted his gaze as soon as Seongje finished the conversation and nervously exhaled:
“Where’s Baku?”
“I’ll find out in person. It’s unsafe to say anything more over the phone,” Seongje patiently explained. “You don’t want Baku to get hurt, do you?”
Baekjin quietly sighed. Seongje still couldn’t understand how his former boss could be so obsessed with this idiot. Baekjin had never shared anything about his past with him. All Seongje knew was that they had been friends as kids. But maybe there was something more behind that?...
“Alright, I’m leaving,” Seongje said, giving Baekjin a careful look. Baekjin nodded at him without looking up.
“The plan is this: tell Sieun that Baekjin is alive so he can pass the wonderful news to Baku, and we’ll reconcile these two hopelessly lovesick idiots together. Nothing complicated, right?”
Seongje silently scoffed.
"But what the hell am I doing this for?!..." an hysterical thought ran through his mind. Although he knew the answer...
Baekjin had to stage his own death to save his life. And Seongje helped him with that. It required convincing lies to Mr. Choi and a lot of quick thinking, but both he and Baekjin were no strangers to that. That's how they had gotten so far in this damn Union.
The operation was a success. Baekjin disappeared from the face of the Earth. Seongje shed a few bitter tears at his memorial and watched in disbelief as Baku sobbed inconsolably.
"Who would have thought, damn it?..." Seongje thought, lighting a cigarette right there in the mourning hall. "Though what else to expect from this whiner?..."
He stood in the doorway for a couple of minutes, feeling a sense of duty fulfilled, and headed toward the abandoned warehouse where he was hiding the living culprit. There, Baekjin sat on the floor, legs crossed, intently studying some papers laid out on his lap.
"You can rejoice: Baku cried like a baby at your memorial," Seongje announced from the threshold. Baekjin quickly lifted his gaze, tearing himself away from the notes. He froze with the papers in hand, staring at his comrade. His mouth fell open.
"And what are you surprised about?" Seongje smirked, hiding his hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket and striding deeper into the room. It felt good to feel Baekjin's gaze on him like that: looking up from below. "He's got that...," he snapped his fingers, pausing, "Stockholm syndrome. He likes to suffer."
Baekjin lowered his head for a moment, setting the papers aside as he stood up.
"He doesn't have any syndrome."
"What about the savior syndrome?" Seongje chuckled, immediately raising his hands in defense upon meeting Baekjin's stern look. "Alright! No syndrome, then."
Baekjin turned away from him and took a deep breath, slightly tilting his head back. A strange warmth spread through his chest. An almost happy smile crept across his face.
Humin lied. He didn't hate him. Most likely, he was ashamed of still being attached to him. That was all Baekjin needed to know.
He suppressed his smile and turned to the bewildered comrade.
"So, what are you going to do?" Seongje asked monotonously. A complex expression appeared on his face.
Baekjin pondered for a moment, snorting softly.
"For now, I'll lay low," he finally said. "Then I'll return to Baku."
Seongje let out a disappointed sigh.
"Of course..." he pressed his lips into a thin line. "Only when the Union forgets about you."
Baekjin looked at him tensely. Seongje had expected that.
"What?"
"Baku needs to know I'm alive," Baekjin said firmly.
"Why?" Seongje blurted out without thinking. Emotions spoke for him. "Because he cried at your memorial?"
Baekjin tensed all over, and Seongje regretted his words. He shook his head and sighed.
"I'll tell him," Seongje said conciliatorily. "If you keep your head down."
***
The meeting between Seongje and Sieun went better than either of them had expected. Sieun immediately relayed everything he had learned to Gotak and Juntae. A commotion began.
"Maybe we shouldn’t tell Baku about this?" Juntae suggested. Sieun agreed with him. He genuinely believed that Baku was better off without Baekjin. However, he couldn’t keep something like this from him... That would be worse than betrayal. Gotak understood that too.
"We have to tell him," he said, his heart heavy.
"I agree," Gotak nodded briefly, not lifting his gaze. "We have no right to hide this from him. It’s only up to Baku to decide what to do next..."
They were about to head to the hospital to see Baku and Suho, but now they hesitated.
"He’ll find out anyway," Sieun said firmly and walked ahead. Gotak and Juntae followed him silently.
When they entered the room, Suho greeted them, waving his hand joyfully. Baku lay with his back to them, staring out the window, lost deep in thought. The guys decided not to disturb him for the moment.
"How long has he been like this?" Gotak whispered to Suho.
"Since last night, after you left," the guy replied, lifting the lid of a ramen container and inhaling the amazing aroma.
"Baku," Sieun murmured as he approached his friend's bed. "We brought some food."
He placed his hand over Baku's palm and squeezed it gently.
"And we have news for you," Sieun added cautiously, swallowing hard. "Good news..."
"There are no more good news for me," Baku said lifelessly, still staring out the window. Only his moving lips revealed that he was the one speaking.
"This really is good news!" Gotak said softly, adjusting the blanket over Baku.
He couldn’t imagine how the death of someone who had caused them so much trouble could shatter his friend like this. Just how much did Baku cherish Baekjin!
Gotak leaned closer to Baku's ear and whispered:
"He’s alive."
Baku jerked back sharply, staring at him with wide eyes. Then he shifted his gaze from Gotak to Sieun and then to Juntae, and back again.
"This isn’t funny..." Baku sniffled. His lips trembled. Tears filled his eyes as he grabbed Sieun by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him closer. "If you’re joking...!"
"It’s true..." Sieun said firmly, prying Baku's fingers off his clothes. He looked straight into Baku’s eyes as he spoke, and Humin's expression began to change. He stared at the wall in front of him and unconsciously held his breath. His face went pale.
"Hey, Baku..." Hyeontak called out, shaking him by the shoulder. "Baku!"
Humin turned sharply. The noise in his head diminished.
"Is it true?" Baku whispered in disbelief, looking at his friends.
"Yes," Juntae said with a smile, nodding enthusiastically.
"Wow!" Suho exclaimed, smirking and breaking into a grin. "This is amazing!"
His face lit up, and looking at him, Baku felt such overwhelming joy that he laughed. The friends felt immense relief hearing his laughter again. They hugged Baku tightly, laughing along with him. Suho tried to get up from the bed to join them but fell back down.
"Ugh!"
Sieun noticed his attempts and rushed over to him, wrapping him in warm hugs. Suho was surprised and touched by this gesture.
"Oh, how sweet!"
After a while, Baku said excitedly:
"Where’s Baekjin? I need to see him!"
"Not right now," Sieun replied sternly. "He had to stage his own death to escape from the Union. He’s fine for now—Seongje said so. But he can’t see you yet... until the Union stops looking for him."
"But for the Union, he’s already dead, isn’t he?" Baku mumbled in confusion, looking plaintively into his friend’s eyes.
"They need proof of his death," Gotak said gently, squeezing Baku's hand and sighing. "Sooner or later, they’ll leave him alone."
Gotak shifted from foot to foot and finally asked the question that was now haunting him.
"What are you going to do?"
Baku looked at him questioningly.
"What do you mean?..."
Hyeontak perched on the edge of the bed, gazing into his eyes with concern.
"I don't want him to hurt you again..."
Baku gave a sad smile.
"I can stand up for myself, you know that."
"I know, you fool!" Gotak snapped, slapping his knee in irritation. "That's not what I mean!..."
The room fell silent. Everyone waited with bated breath for what would come next.
"Will you take him back? Will you make him your friend again?" Gotak blurted out. "Is this a second chance?..."
Baku involuntarily opened his mouth. He had just learned that his childhood friend was alive, and he hadn’t even thought about anything else. Would they be friends again? Could he forgive Baekjin? It was uncertain. But he desperately wanted it!...
"It's too early to think about that," Baku finally said, avoiding eye contact. "The main thing is that he’s alive."
***
A month later, Seongje found out that the Union was no longer searching for Baekjin and informed Baekjin first, then Sieun, who in turn passed the news to Baku.
"Stop fidgeting! My eyes are going blurry," Gotak grumbled, though he was internally relieved to see Baku getting better. However, now he was nervous about the long-awaited meeting with Baekjin.
He was supposed to meet him at the diner after lunch. Everyone was already gathered there, including Suho, who had recently been discharged from the hospital. It was hard to believe that everything was falling into place.
Baku plopped down next to Sieun. Sieun understood his friend’s turmoil and silently supported him.
"Everything will go well," Juntae reassured him. Baku shot him a quick glance and exhaled.
There was a knock at the door. Baku jumped up as if scalded and rushed to open it. Suho chuckled, munching on a chicken leg. Sieun shook his head disapprovingly. Juntae and Gotak stood up from the table.
Baku froze in the doorway. His hands trembled. He saw a familiar silhouette through the glass and opened the door without giving himself a chance to back out. It really was Baekjin, but Baku still couldn’t believe it. They stood face to face until one of them had the sense to pull the other inside.
Without any further words, Baku wrapped his arms around Baekjin's neck, pulling him close. Tears streamed down his cheeks unbidden. He quickly wiped them away and stepped back, studying the familiar features. Baekjin looked just as flustered and confused as he felt. Baku didn’t notice when his lips brushed against Baekjin’s cheek like they used to when they were kids. Then he pressed his lips to the other cheek, lingering there for a moment. He felt Baekjin tense up and recoiled, staring fearfully at his face, which wore a complex expression. Before he could gather himself, Baekjin pulled him in for another kiss. Baku clutched at his bomber jacket, losing himself in the desperate touch of their lips.
Juntae tactfully turned away, unable to suppress a smile. Gotak stared at them in shock. Sieun's face showed surprise; he didn’t hide it any longer. Suho let out a short surprised "oh" and chuckled. Sieun looked at him somewhat lost.
"What, do you want me to kiss you too?" Suho blurted out without thinking. Sieun turned away, blushing furiously.
Baekjin reluctantly pulled away, holding Baku at the waist. Baku spun around sharply to face his friends, who were desperately pretending not to watch. He felt incredibly awkward yet blissfully happy all at once. He turned back to Baekjin, who already regretted acting so recklessly, but Baku quickly made it clear that he was completely fine with it. In fact, he liked it very much and wouldn’t mind doing it again.