Chapter Text
Am I doing this list by choice? Fuck no. I can’t stand being in such a claustrophobic space anymore, this checkered yellow and orange pattern circling around me every minute practically hypnotising me to do this. They call me the time bastard, I’ve been stuck in this toy box for… God I loose track. These scratched streaks on the rotating walls don’t make sense to me anymore. It was like hell. Except there were no flames, skeletons, or a comical red man with a pitchfork. The only things I saw day and night were a pair arms, legs and torso crammed into this tiny prison like box.
I even envy the feeling of a rake being drawn across my chest, being stretched to a painful limit, screaming in a boiling hot bull or hell, even an iron pear, over this. I need to feel something again, to be reassured that I was still alive and that this wasn’t eternal, even if that meant I was wilfully naive. Being treated like a puppet on strings that are being pulled by this freaky goat-like demon who calls himself ‘T'noy Karaxis’ was not my idea of eternity. Especially when I have to humiliate myself on the street begging for spare change.
Then there was the unbearable laughter that always filled my head every time as I wondered what scenario I would be put into next. It was teasing me at this point, taunting me of all the idiotic mistakes I’ve made in the past. The mistakes that gradually crafted me into the shitty person I am today. Whatever, my suffering isn’t the point. I figured if I make this list of all the bad things I’ve done and try and make up for it, maybe he’ll give me mercy and let me go. Maybe I can finally live with the love of my life, Jenny, she could realise that Clivesdale Chemist is nothing compared to me, and we’ll live happily ever after. Or I could just live a peaceful life in a normal timeline with a normal lifespan. Both are better options than this.
I haven’t told Tinky about this idea yet, as if I’m able to negotiate conversations with him anyway. When he’s been off tormenting other people with his weirdo brothers, I’ve been writing up this list in a wrinkled piece of paper in my shirt pocket. Next time he sends me out to ‘play’, I’ll simply change the way I acted, and everything will end well eventually. I have no idea how this is going to go, or if this will even work, but it’s worth a shot.