Work Text:
Log: Belpois
Entry: #unlisted
This entry is set to erase as soon as I close it. It’s nothing relevant to Lyoko, I just wanted to collect my thoughts and there’s no one else I can talk to.
…
It’s trivial, really. Ulrich just forgot to meet Yumi after class again.
She got upset, as usual, so we ended up going to the library together and she picked out the same table we used to sit at for tutoring. It made me nervous. I thought maybe somehow she had remembered… what happened.
But that’s impossible.
Nothing happened today, of course. We just sat and talked like always.
It still got me thinking though. I figured if I just say everything out loud now, I won’t feel guilty about it anymore.
Ahem. Here goes nothing.
On October 26th, XANA launched an attack. He put a biological agent in the water supply for the school that caused everyone to go crazy. Symptoms included bloodshot eyes, rage, and possibly resistance to pain. I never did figure that last one out.
This was before Yumi was part of the Lyoko group, but we were in the same Math class that semester so we were acquaintances. She had asked me to tutor her since I had the highest grade in the class and -
You know, looking back, I’m not sure why she even wanted tutoring. If I remember correctly, she had the second-highest grade in that class. Surely, I couldn’t have helped that much.
Anyway, we had been meeting after class in the library for a couple weeks when the attack happened. XANA had managed to activate the sprinklers throughout the whole school so almost everyone was affected immediately when the water touched their skin.
Fortunately, Ulrich and Odd were outside at the time. Gym class, I think.
Yumi was on top of it though. Her reflexes were instinctive, even back then. We thought it was just a fire drill at first, but when she noticed that the water was having a negative effect on people, she covered our heads with her notebook and pulled me into the archives room.
It was perfect because the archives room is climate-controlled to protect the materials inside, so there weren’t any sprinklers. She pushed a desk or bookshelf in front of the door, and we spent a full minute just watching the rest of the library turn to chaos through the small window in the door.
Some students noticed us, but we were able to keep the door from opening by sitting against the desk. I think it was a desk, not a book shelf.
Regardless, I wish I had gotten more information about the attack. I would love to know what exactly XANA put in the water and how it caused the symptoms we noticed in the victims, but there wasn’t a chance in the moment.
I was admittedly useless up until this point because Milly, a sixth grader, had been banging her hands against the window in the door and getting blood everywhere. It looked like she may have broken her fingers? I’m not sure if that’s fear altering my memory, or if XANA was able to induce pain suppression with the water as well.
Regardless, Yumi was the first to take stock of the situation.
We had left our cell phones at the table when we ran so we had no way to call for help. Water started leaking in under the door and, to my dismay at the time, Yumi started tearing books apart and stuffing the pages under the desk to soak up the water before it could get into the room.
She’s always been eminently practical, I suppose.
I tried mentioning that some of the rarest books in the archives room were over 100-years-old or one-of-a-kind, but she wasn’t swayed. In fact, if I recall, she laughed at me.
Anyway, once that was taken care of, we ended up sitting in that room for probably an hour or more.
In the back of my mind, I held out hope that somehow Aelita could lead Ulrich and Odd through the virtualization process and de-activate the tower without me, but the longer we waited, the more that seemed unlikely.
It gave me something to focus on, at least, instead of panicking.
Yumi helped, too. While we waited, she and I actually ended up talking a lot. I realize now that she was almost certainly just doing it to keep me calm but, at the time, I remember being surprised that she was so garrulous for a life-or-death situation.
The conversation started pretty normal, aside from the whole crisis happening around us. She asked me how it felt to be the youngest student in an advanced math class, and I admitted that it was hard sometimes.
“Especially before I made friends,” I explained. “Ulrich and Odd are in my grade, though, and I’ve gotten to know them recently. That’s helped a lot.”
Yumi’s confused expression is still so clear to me even today.
“Do you mean Ulrich Stern?” she asked with a perfectly arched eyebrow.
She scoffed when I nodded.
“I’ve only met him a couple times through the Pencak Silat club, but he seems kind of quiet. I mean, he’s a great fighter, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t think I’ve ever gotten him to say more than two words to me during practice.”
I was tempted to tell her that was because Ulrich had already confided in me that he was “in love” with the cool girl that had flipped him on his back the first time they ever sparred. I didn’t, of course, since that would have been disrespectful to Ulrich.
Even then, I assumed the pair would naturally gravitate towards each other. Girls always liked Ulrich. I figured Yumi would be no different.
In that moment, though, I just shrugged. Ulrich was my friend. It didn’t matter to me what Yumi thought of him.
“He’s a good listener,” I offered in justification.
“That’s rare. Most guys are not good listeners,” Yumi said skeptically before looking at me as if something occurred to her. “I think you are though. For whatever that’s worth.”
I was surprised to hear her compliment me out of the blue. She’s always been very straightforward and genuine – which hasn’t changed – but for it to be directed at me was unusual.
I didn’t know what else to say so I thanked her.
She wouldn’t look at me for a while after that. I didn’t know why we were sitting in silence, but it ended up being a good thing. In that moment of awkward quiet, we realized the sprinklers had finally turned off.
Yumi excitedly climbed on the desk to look out the window on the door, but seemed displeased with what she saw.
“It’s no use. There’s still water on the floor and those monster-things walking around.”
She chewed on her lip the same way she did when she was working on a math problem.
“There’s got to be a way to get you out of here,” she said pensively while studying my face as if I had an answer.
“You mean both of us,” I corrected.
Yumi chuckled and looked at me with what I know now must have been affection.
“I’m a little tougher than you are. Besides, if you get out, you can go get help. I’ll be fine.”
I don’t want to admit how tempted I was to agree with her. I told myself it was because I could put a stop to everything if I could just get to the factory. But a large part of me just wanted to trust in her to take care of things while I ran away to safety.
“I’m not leaving without you,” I put on a brave face and insisted. “My friends will get help. I’m sure of it.”
“Ulrich Stern and Odd Della Robbia?” Yumi stifled her laugh to be polite, but I could tell she thought I was being ridiculous.
“Not to be rude, but I don’t have much faith in them. Just let me think a little more. I’ll figure something out, ok?”
I was touched by how much she seemed to care about me and well-being. She struck me as the kind of person who would do anything to help someone else just because it was the right thing to do. Even then, I thought she would be an asset to our team against XANA.
I don’t think I said anything else while she paced around the room, searching for a solution to our predicament.
“What if I push the desk through the door?” she finally asked. “Then you could reach one of the windows outside and climb out.”
I shook my head. “There’s no way we could both get out before we get attacked. Besides, the walls are probably still wet. We’d touch the water trying to open the window.”
“You can use these.” Yumi pulled a box of latex gloves from the ‘Rare Books’ shelf.
The gloves were there so students wouldn’t touch the old, delicate books with their bare hands, but in this case, they could serve another purpose.
She really can do anything, I thought to myself. Still, that didn’t solve all our problems. I just dreaded the idea of leaving her behind.
“Then you would be stuck in here with those things. We should wait for help,” I argued.
Yumi rolled her eyes at my protest but sat back down in defeat. When I sat down next to her, I noticed that she seemed to be working her way up to say something.
Of course, I assumed it would be another escape plan that she wanted to pitch, so imagine my surprise when she looked at me with pink cheeks and asked, “Do you think, if you didn’t have a girlfriend, you’d ever go out with someone like me?”
I was so caught off-guard in that moment that the only thing I could think to say was, “What makes you think I have a girlfriend?”
This made her laugh again for some reason. She always did have a nice, resonant laugh.
“It’s obvious! You’re always checking your phone, you have ‘homework assignments’ that randomly come up, and you always stare into space with a little smile.”
“Sorry,” I tried to apologize. I hadn’t realized I was being so rude all that time, but it did make sense that that was how someone who didn’t know about Lyoko would see it.
“No, it’s fine.” Yumi shook her head. “It’s cute, honestly, that you thought I didn’t know.”
“Really,” I insisted.
While I did have feelings for Aelita at that point, it certainly wouldn’t do any good to tell that to Yumi. I still thought that it was better to keep her in the dark about all of it: Lyoko, XANA, and Aelita.
“I don’t have a girlfriend. I swear.”
She tilted her head to the side with an endearingly confused expression. “A boyfriend, then?”
“No! I’m not dating anyone.” I was so embarrassed by this point, I really thought I might die. XANA would have won. Not in the way he had expected. But because he locked me in a room with a girl who, up until then, I had always thought it would be pointless to have feelings for.
“So…” Yumi paused awkwardly. “Does that mean…?”
She really was trying to accelerate my heart rate to dangerous levels.
What did it mean? I didn’t know.
It had honestly never even occurred to me that she might see me as anything other than a classmate.
“Why me?” I asked the real question that made me self-conscious.
She smiled.
She had such a kind smile. She still does, actually, but she doesn’t smile at me like that these days. Those are all reserved for Ulrich.
Anyway, she smiled at me and it made my stomach invert.
“What do you mean, why you? This may be news to you, but most people won’t even talk to me. Everyone seems to think I’m scary or they want nothing to do with me. You’re the first person who doesn’t seem intimidated.”
I couldn’t believe what she was saying. It made sense on an intellectual level, of course. I just had no idea that was how she really felt.
“Besides,” she continued, “you’re a good listener, like I said. You’re kind, you’re smart… You’re cute.”
She blushed as she said the last part, and I realized my face had similarly ignited.
“Oh. Um. Wow,” I responded cleverly.
“Anyway, I appreciate you being a good friend. It means a lot.”
Her voice was so soft and vulnerable that I almost didn’t hear her. In a comedic series of events, I turned to look at her right as she tried to kiss me on the cheek…
That was my first kiss.
I can’t tell anyone now, but I still think it counts. Even if it was more of an accidental brushing of the lips than an actual kiss.
Afterwards, she looked horrified, which made me worry that I had done something wrong, but it turned out that she was just embarrassed too.
“I’m so sorry!” She put her hands over her mouth. “I just meant to- I mean, I would never-”
I couldn’t think about anything other than the feel of her lips and the way she smelled like sweat and flowers mixed together.
She was clearly floundering in front of me though, so I had to say something.
“It’s ok,” I managed. “I- “
I think I wanted to tell her I liked it? But there was just too much going on. It felt irresponsible to say anything like that. It felt like a commitment I wasn’t ready to make.
So, instead, I just said, “I don’t mind.”
Which probably wasn’t the coolest thing to say after a girl kisses you, but it’s not like I’ve gotten any smoother since.
At least Aelita doesn’t seem to mind.
Fortunately, my response must have been sufficient because, after I said that, Yumi calmed down slightly. She kept her mouth over her hand and looked away as if she were processing what had happened.
I’d like to say I was also processing, but I think my brain was just analyzing the moment over and over again.
Finally, Yumi interrupted my analysis. “We can’t stay in here forever. I think I know how to get you out.”
“That’s what you’re thinking about!?” I asked in exasperation.
She was an enigma to me. She still is, honestly.
“We have to keep our priorities straight. But maybe when we get out of this, we can try that kiss again?” she asked as she watched me intently with her dark eyes.
I was at a loss for words so I simply nodded.
“Let’s go, then,” she said definitively before standing up. She kicked her clunky black boots off and pointed at my feet.
“Take your shoes off,” she instructed.
The surprises were endless.
“What? Why?”
“You were right. Going through the window is too risky. I think you should go out the back door since that’s closest to the edge of campus. My boots will keep your feet dry and the gloves will keep your hands dry.”
“I can’t possibly make it to the back door before the other students get me. Are you crazy?”
Yumi was already pushing the desk away from the door to the archives room. I remember thinking it was charming how she slipped slightly in her socks on the carpet, but that wasn’t the time to voice any of those thoughts.
“I’m going to be a distraction,” she said confidently.
I couldn’t believe she was still on this train of thought.
“Are you crazy? They’ll kill you!”
Yumi shook her head before looking at me excitedly. The glint in her eyes made me nervous.
“Not if I’m a monster too,” she said with a grin.
Finally, I understood.
I understood her plan. I think I even understood her.
That was the moment that I knew I could trust her with Lyoko.
“All right,” I conceded.
If I could get out, I could get to the factory. I could stop this attack. If Yumi had this much faith in me, I couldn’t let her down.
I slid my shoes off and pulled her boots on as instructed.
In a funny coincidence, it turns out we’re actually the same shoe size, but I have no way to mention that to her now though without sounding crazy.
Anyway, I buckled the boots on as tight as they would go. She helped me get the latex gloves on and tucked under my shirt sleeves.
“Ready?” She asked. Her hand was on the door handle
I took a deep breath and nodded.
Yumi opened the door, letting the floodwater into the archives room. It pooled around my feet but the boots did their job and remained water-proof.
She had already disappeared around the corner. I could hear her screaming with an inhuman rage. She had turned just as quickly as the others and I suspected that she had lost all logic as well, but she had been careful to put a great distance between herself and the doorway.
There were plenty of new targets in her way to keep her busy.
I snuck through the doorway and clung to the wall as I crept between the tall library shelves to the door at the back of the building. My feet splashed in the water but the noise of the monsters fighting each other at the front of the library drowned out any noise I was making.
I heard what sounded like Yumi screaming, but I forced myself to keep running. I knew that the best thing I could do for her would be to get to the factory.
I ran harder than I had ever run before.
When I got there, Aelita was working on a program to virtualize Ulrich and Odd from Lyoko without me. It would have been successful, but the amount of time it would have taken was untenable. Ulrich and Odd were doing their best, of course, but manning the supercomputer was never their strong suit.
That’s part of what prompted me to start working on the self-virtualization protocols, actually, but that’s a discussion for a different entry.
In the end, we de-activated the tower, and I had no choice but to launch a return to the past.
…
Yumi obviously didn’t remember what happened afterwards, but I never could see a reason to tell her. I figured it was for the best.
I certainly never told Odd or Ulrich.
Or Aelita.
…
That’s ok, right?
What would be the point?
She’s a Lyoko Warrior now. That’s all that really matters – how things are now. Not what could have been.
…
Well. I guess I should go ahead and delete this now.
It’s not like Yumi ever confessed to me again. In fact, she’s very clearly in love with Ulrich. Something that I knew would happen from the start.
I have feelings for Aelita anyway. I really, really do.
I think this is for the best.
Jeremie sighed as he pressed Ctrl + Delete. He pushed his computer chair away from his desk and grabbed his phone.
“Yumi was waiting for you after class so now she’s upset. Can you come by my room? I got a chocolate bar that you can give her and apologize,” Jeremie texted Ulrich with an annoyed expression on his face.
Then, he pulled up his conversation with Aelita. “Do you want to go for a walk after dinner tonight? There’s something I want to tell you.”
His thumb hovered over Yumi’s contact for a moment before he thought better of it and put his phone away.