Work Text:
Ever since he came back from Daegu, Seungcheol hasn't left his apartment for anything that wasn't walking Kkuma three times a day. It's not that he doesn't want to - but a hiatus as a celebrity isn't exactly a vacation. He can't just go to cafes and parks at any hour of the day he wishes, because someone there will be bound to recognize him and post about it online. It's not even his ego talking, it actually happened before. So all he's been doing is playing League and watching TV in-between walking Kkuma.
Today was a rare day that Wonwoo was able to log into his own account at the same time as Seungcheol, so they went on a marathon of League runs until it got dark enough that the streetlamps were the main source of light outside and Kkuma brought her leash directly to Seungcheol's feet and stared at him impatiently until he logged off his call with Wonwoo and got ready to take her.
Armed with a mask, a beanie, and disposable bags for poop scooping, he lets Kkuma lead the way to wherever her little heart wishes to sniff the most. As long as she doesn't walk into puddles or mud, Seungcheol doesn't mind letting her do whatever she wants. They'll just end up at Kkuma’s favorite park anyway since it's where they always go.
Except today Kkuma decides to take a right instead of a left and leads Seungcheol to the other side of the neighborhood that he doesn't visit often. It's fine, he can still find his way around here still, but he doesn't remember the last time he's been to these parts.
Am I isolating myself from the world? Seungcheol wonders, trying to figure out a way to get to the park from where they are without forcing Kkuma to go back the way they came from - every dog's nightmare.
But the longer they walk, the less he recognizes. It becomes a question of if he can even find his way back without calling a taxi. At least Kkuma seems to be having fun, finding all these new electricity poles to pee on.
Seungcheol lives in a newly-built high rise community inside of an older neighborhood. It was part of a redevelopment project, and he likes the quaintness of it. Most of the people living in this neighborhood outside of his building are older folks with children his age or older. On the rare occasions he walks around during the day it reminds him of living with his grandma in Daegu and visiting shops with her as a kid.
Maybe that's why the sight of a guy that seems to be around his age crouched down next to a patch of grass is more jarring than usual. Or maybe it's just that no one else but him, Seungcheol, and Seungcheol's dog is standing in the street. His hair is definitely bleached, shoved under a red cap. Seungcheol can't see that well without glasses but he can tell bleach-damaged hair ends from a kilometer away.
Originally, his plan was to just walk past the guy with Kkuma and circle around the neighborhood to try and find his way back. At worst, he was gonna open a map on his phone and try to navigate using it. The awkward feeling of being one of the only two people in an empty street is not something he's above, and he kinda wants to leave.
Unfortunately for him Kkuma (bless her little heart) sees the green grass and thinks finally, a place I can poop at! Because Seungcheol had worked hard to teach her that she shouldn't poop on the pavement unless she really can't help it. So he ends up being pulled along with all the force of a 6-kilogram dog towards the man and the grass.
“Kkuma,” he tries saying, but she's not listening to him. In his heart, he knows he's not really fighting her too much. He always feels kind of guilty that she can't roam around as much as she wishes because of the nature of the apartment they live in; it's why he caves for anything she wants. If she wants to poop right next to the blonde guy, he'll just have to suck it up no matter how introverted he feels at 11 PM .
The guy looks up at the sound of tiny paws barreling across asphalt towards him at full speed, and he's not wearing a mask, so Seungcheol gets assaulted by the blunt force of his model-like face point-blank. Before he can react or even get up, Kkuma plants her tiny body barely a meter from him and without preamble starts pooping. Seungcheol can only watch in mortification as the guy's expression goes from startled to bewildered to acceptance that yes, that is a coton de tulear puppy with a fried egg pin doing her deed dangerously close to his shoes.
Seungcheol summons the confidence of years of media training to pretend he’s completely calm about the hot guy in front of him. “I'm so sorry,” he says. “She prefers grass, and we haven't seen any until now, so she…” he gestures helplessly with the hand not holding the leash.
Two big brown eyes blink at him, then down at Kkuma.
“I think she's pooping on an ant nest,” is what the guy says. He has a deeper voice than Seungcheol anticipated. Then what he said registers and he holds back a sigh. He loves his dog like a daughter and she's so smart, but even the smartest dogs sometimes do something silly. If she stands on the nest she'll be crawling with ants later and she hates when he has to give her a bath.
Kkuma, having finished her business, turns around and approaches the stranger, immediately starting to sniff his shoes and walking around his legs until her leash is a tripping hazard to him.
Seungcheol bows his head. “I'm so sorry,” he says again.
“It's okay,” the guy says. “I wasn't looking for the ants anyway.”
Not what he was apologizing for. “What were you looking for?”
“Pill bugs.”
Like the ones kids look for? Seungcheol wants to ask. Instead he says, “I'm Choi Seungcheol.” He eyes the guy for any reaction to the name, but he doesn't get any. Still, that doesn't mean anything. Most people know him by his stage name.
The guy adjusts his cap. “I'm Yoon Jeonghan. I don't have a business card on me right now, though.”
Seungcheol doesn't carry a business card at all because his manager is the one that gives his out to other people as a way to contact Seungcheol. “It's okay, me neither. Do you live around here?”
Jeonghan nods. “Mhm.”
“Me too, in one of the buildings from the redevelopment.”
“Ah,” Jeonghan says, “you're new to the neighborhood.”
Seungcheol has been living here for a year, so he doesn't know about that, but he nods anyway because he's weak to pretty people.
Kkuma starts getting antsy at his feet for the lack of walking, and he looks down at her then up at Jeonghan regretfully. “She wants to continue her walks, sorry.”
“It's fine.”
Seungcheol thinks about leaving, then remembers he might be a bit lost. “Actually, um,” he bites his lip. “Do you know the way to the park?”
That's how he ends up with a guide on his night walk - Jeonghan walking alongside him and Kkuma on her extended leash on the way to the neighborhood park.
“Choi Seungcheol-ssi.” Jeonghan says suddenly, like he's trying his name out.
Seungcheol makes a face under the mask. “Ah, please stop that.”
“What?”
“I don't like when people use my last name.”
Jeonghan tilts his head. “Why?”
“It just sounds so cold.” Whenever their fans want to tease him they use his last name because they know he hates it. He scolded them for it maybe over twenty times. “How would you like it if people called you by your full name?”
“People call me Team Leader Yoon at work,” Jeonghan tells him, because of course they do.
“Where do you work?”
Jeonghan takes a turn to the left next to a closed walnut pie shop and leads Seungcheol and Kkuma down some stairs. “I work at a small creative production company.”
“That's cool,” Seungcheol imagines Jeonghan as an office worker, sitting at a desk and using Excel. “Do they not have strict rules about hair colors?” He can't believe that bleached blonde long hair goes hand in hand with an office setting.
“My senior said I shouldn't cut it because it boosts morale,” Jeonghan says, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He carries himself with a quiet confidence that Seungcheol recognizes from people in the entertainment industry that know they're attractive, but he seems to be shy about being told stuff like that directly. They turn again and go into another street and watch Kkuma happily sniff the sidewalk ahead of them. Seungcheol glances at his watch and gets reminded that not all people are on a hiatus that won't require them to go to work the following morning.
“Is it okay for you to be out this late?”
Jeonghan nods. “I always go on a night walk before bed. When you get to this age you need to move around to digest well.”
Right, Seungcheol hasn't asked yet. “How old are you exactly?”
“I was born in 1995.”
“Oh,” Seungcheol blinks. “I was born in the same year.”
“You can talk casually to me then, if you want.”
“Sure,” Seungcheol already feels more comfortable, so he takes off his mask and puts it in his jacket pocket. He remembers something he was curious about earlier. “What were you doing on the grass earlier?”
Jeonghan walks just about two steps ahead of him with his hands clasped behind his back like an old man. It reminds him of Wonwoo. “I thought about how you'd look for pill bugs as a kid so I tried to find one again.”
They really did grow up in the same era. “Did you play that game where you'd roll them into each other too?”
“Yeah,” Jeonghan's eyes sparkle. “Did you ever try to catch dragonflies?”
“Not dragonflies, moths.”
They exchange experiences like this for the entire walk. Seungcheol can't remember the last time he was this comfortable around someone that wasn't his members or his childhood friends from Daegu. Then finally, they reach a place that Seungcheol recognizes and he comes face to face with the entrance to the park, only from the other side of where he usually goes in. It looks like he accidentally circled it on the way to find it. Usually he'd go in, but Kkuma looks like she's tired for the night, and they did walk for a long while. It would be better to just head home.
“Thanks for helping me find it,” he tells Jeonghan. He gets a smile, and wonders if he should ask him to exchange KaoTalk IDs, but then Jeonghan suddenly glances down and gasps, crouches down next to Seungcheol's foot, and picks up a pill big between his thumb and index finger. He looks at Seungcheol with something gleaming in his eyes that makes Seungcheol think he should maybe start backing away slowly without breaking eye contact the way they advise to do with prey animals.
“Seungcheol-ssi,” Jeonghan says. “Rock, paper, scissors, and the loser eats this pill bug.”
“No, absolutely not,” Seungcheol shakes his head vehemently. “I don't wanna.”
Jeonghan smiles at him. “You should try. Maybe you will win.”
There are many things that Seungcheol could add to his Namuwiki trivia page that his fans don't know about. Random lore and information tidbits that wouldn't fit anywhere else but that section but the public hasn't heard about or Seungcheol kept private because of sensitive contents.
He's forever grateful that the details of his first meeting with Yoon Jeonghan - where he ended up losing rock paper scissors and had to eat a pill bug then almost threw up and a laughing Jeonghan had to buy him a drink from a vending machine to wash down the taste - are never going to grace his wiki page.
The second the door closes behind them and her leash and harness are off, Kkuma happily trots to her water bowl and laps up the water in it, then moves to lie down on her doggy bed. Seungcheol watches her spin around and settle down with her head on her small paws and feels the same sense of peace and accomplishment he feels whenever he does something to take care of her. Getting a dog was his psychologist's suggestion, to have something to take care of when he doesn't feel like doing it for himself. His psychologist did specify that it shouldn't be a therapy dog, and Seungcheol debated on whether or not he should go through it for a long while.
When he saw the open day for adoption at a dog shelter near the company’s building, he told himself that he's just going to look at the cute dogs. The next thing Seungcheol knew, he was coming out with a tiny coton de tulear in a carrier and calling Mingyu to ask if Bobpul has an old used bed he can get as a hand-me-down for Kkuma until he can get her a bed of her own.
He hangs Kkuma's leash and goes to wash up in the bathroom, doing his skincare while making a note to tell the company he might be on the verge of breaking out so they can set an appointment with the dermatologist. Once he does, he wears his pajama set and checks that his bedroom door is open if Kkuma wants to come in in the middle of the night, then he lies down and opens Weverse to see what their fans are up to.
와터와터와터
seungcheol-ah i miss you
mycherry
scoups-oppa are you well?
전1우
seungcheol-oppa i went to s*bway today and saw your ad while eating lunch!
Seungcheol remembers that ad - they partnered with Subway on a new menu a few months ago and some shops still have items with their faces on them. His friends back in Daegu kept sending him photos of his face next to their sandwiches. He reads a few fan letters until the daily alarm on his phone rings and he has to take his pill.
He turns off the bedside table light and settles down on his side. Not a minute later he hears the scrap of tiny nails against the wood floors making their way to his room and up the small staircase bought specifically to make his bed easier to access for a tiny fluffy white dog trying to climb it.
Kkuma follows her usual path of stepping on every part of his body under the blanket that she can reach until she gets to his shoulders and climbs off, circling the spot next to his hands and settling with her back to him and facing the door, like she's protecting him from the world. Seungcheol lets himself smile against his pillow and closes his eyes.
His hiatus as S.Coups wasn't decided as suddenly as the news articles made it seem and the fans must’ve felt. They were discussing him taking a break with the company before they even started the first leg of the tour this year, even if Seungcheol kept insisting he'd be fine without a hiatus. He's the leader of the group and he wants to be with his members and their fans, not spend time stuck behind the scenes.
Mingyu tried arguing that Seungcheol could take a break before the tour starts and see where he's at when they start preparing for it, but Seungcheol argued back that they had the album comeback to promote, and taking a break isn't possible. Hansol brought up not going out to promote and letting the other members handle it, but Seungcheol knew that the fans would be sad if he didn't appear, so it was vetoed. Eventually, it was Wonwoo that put his foot down.
“Hyung,” he'd said, “our fans would want you to be healthy. And happy.”
And the worst part was that everyone could tell he wasn't happy. He was so worried about being on the stage that the joy that came from the knowledge that he'd be seeing their fans on the stage didn't overpower the taste of acidity rising from his throat when he thought about standing on that stage.
In the end, he was too stubborn. He did one leg of the tour before his mind and body gave up on him. It felt like someone handed him a note that said, “this is as far as you go” and cut the strings holding him up.
So, hiatus. At least a few months of rest and no live appearances or extra content shooting beyond the next album jacket photoshoot. Therapy appointments with a specialized psychologist for people in the entertainment industry with anxiety once every two weeks, and a prescription for a low-dosage antidepressant he takes once a day.
It mostly just means Seungcheol has a lot of free time.
The first major thing he did when he went on hiatus was adopting Kkuma.
The second major thing might be eating dinner with Yoon Jeonghan barely a week after meeting him for the first time.
It doesn't start off with dinner immediately. First, Seungcheol walks the same route he did the day before to see if he can casually run into Jeonghan again, but doesn't see him for the entire walk until he and Kkuma are on the way back and run into Jeonghan coming from the other side of the road.
Then, since it was deemed silly by both of them to randomly walk around at night to try and find each other, they exchanged contact information and texted to coordinate a meet up the next evening. Seungcheol wonders if that's how you make a friend outside of work or school at his age, and also if he should be more cautious about befriending strangers on the street. But Jeonghan has been nothing but cool and relaxing to be around so he figures: it might just be a good coincidence of a meeting.
They talk about random things on their walks. Never Seungcheol's job or the reason he's always replying so fast to texts like he's got nothing better to do. They talk about sports (that Jeonghan doesn't watch), movies (Seungcheol recommends that Jeonghan watch The Notebook), and shows (Jeonghan enjoyed Moving a lot, but it's hard to find a Korean who hasn't), and in between they share small anecdotes of their lives.
The dinner thing happens because a few days into his odd new routine, Wonwoo was busy with a shoot running long to play with him, so Seungcheol ended up taking Kkuma for a walk earlier than expected. Feeling bad, he texted Jeonghan about it, and instead got asked if he wanted to go have a drink at a BBQ place in the neighborhood.
So that's what they did.
You can learn a lot about a person when you drink with them, is Seungcheol’s personal belief. What he learns about Jeonghan is; he can match Seungcheol almost drink for drink. He prefers beer to soju. He almost exclusively orders chuck flap cuts when they eat meat. His limit for social interactions is an hour and a half, and his soju bottle limit is three, but both can be extended if he's not too tired after work.
What Jeonghan probably learns about Seungcheol is how clingy he gets the more he drinks.
After having dinner three times a week for almost three weeks, Seungcheol got comfortable enough that he developed the habit of moving from sitting across from Jeonghan to next to him halfway through the meal for no real reason and draping an arm over his shoulders. Jeonghan takes it in stride, it seems. He says he has touchy juniors at work that act the same at company dinners.
“At your creative company,” Seungcheol mutters. “Where you make creations.”
He might be drunk.
“We pitch creative ideas for marketing.”
Seungcheol squints at him over the rip of his glass. “Anything I'd seen?”
The sizzling meat is a nice ambient sound to his ears, like white noise.
Jeonghan takes a sip of his beer. “Probably not?”
Taking out his phone, Seungcheol taps his way to Naver. “What's the name of the company? I'll look.”
“Korean Meatballs.”
Seungcheol frowns but types it into the search, then aims his frown at Jeonghan. “I can't find it.”
“Eh? But it should be there?”
Jeonghan drinks from his beer again after saying so, looking like the picture of innocence.
“You're messing with me.”
“No. It's there.”
“Yah, Yoon Jeonghan.”
Jeonghan hums, holding the meat up with the tongs and cutting it with scissors. Seungcheol watches him with his chin resting on his fist. He probably doesn't have a leg to stand on here - it's not like Jeonghan knows the name of his company. The closest they got to talking about Seungcheol's work is when he asked Jeonghan about his work schedule and said that he works weird hours when asked in return. And he does!
Jeonghan serves him meat and they clink their bottles together, one soju and one beer.
“Cheers.”
The topic of work doesn't really leave his mind, even after they leave the restaurant and wander around the streets to get sober before splitting up.
Jeonghan wears the same red cap he wears almost every time Seungcheol sees him, and his jacket is grey and doesn't match it at all. He tucks his hair behind his ear and burps, then immediately coughs weirdly, making Seungcheol laugh.
They find a bench to sit on like the old men they are and stare at nothing in front of them for a while.
“My work is stressful,” Seungcheol says, instantly regretting it. He forgot about the one thing about his drinking habits that Mingyu constantly complains about; he talks about his worries when drunk. “I’m on… leave, right now.”
Jeonghan makes an encouraging noise.
Seungcheol licks his lips. “I started getting panic attacks at work, and feeling stressed. Being there made me feel like I can't breathe.”
“But,” he continues, “I miss it.” He surprises himself by how true the statement is. He misses the members, he misses their fans. He misses music. “I want to go back, but I don't want things to be the same. If I could change something about myself to make it work, I want to do that.”
If he didn't want to be at this line of work, he wouldn't have worked so hard all these years for it. Seungcheol is stubborn, he knows this about himself. If he hadn't wanted it, he would have gotten up and left, and raised hell if they tried to stop him.
Risking a glance at Jeonghan, he sees he started absentmindedly chewing on a hangnail. Seungcheol reaches over and gently pulls his finger out of his mouth before he injures himself.
“What do you think?”
Jeonghan stretches his chin up, then to the side. “I think I'm drunk.”
Seungcheol clicks his tongue. “Really, I say all of this, and you're like this. You're really…” he sighs, but he's smiling. He's been smiling a lot more lately when he's around Jeonghan.
They sit and stare at nothing for a while. Seungcheol checks messages on his phone and does quiet monitoring on social media, stopping once in a while to prevent Jeonghan from chewing on his nails. Fed up with having to constantly reach over, he grabs Jeonghan's hand and intertwines their fingers together, positioning their hands between their thighs on the bench. “Stop. You'll bleed.”
Jeonghan looks down at their joint hands in surprise, but doesn't make an effort to get free. He just swings his sneakers-clad feet around.
He doesn't comment on Seungcheol's rant, or offer any words of advice. In a way, that's better than if he tried to contemplate with Seungcheol what to do next. It does make Seungcheol wonder if he talks about himself too much. Something to worry about later.
“Next time we should walk in the park so you can bring Kkuma.”
Seungcheol blinks. “You want me to bring Kkuma?”
“Mhm,” Jeonghan nods. “I like Kkuma, she's cute. Oh, I saw a hairpin the other day that reminded me of the pink one she wears…”
Seungcheol isn't sure how he finishes the conversation, or even how he walked home later, because it felt like he was on a cloud. When he's finally in bed, he opens his phone and goes to the group chat he has with the members.
MMO
I think I met someone I like
brother wonwoo
nice.
brother mingyu
like at a bar?
brother vernon
cool
Telling them doesn't feel like enough. Wanting more attention, he pulls up a different chat.
Brother
Jihoon-ah
I met someone
brother
[file attached: demo413.revised.1]
need rap lyrics for second verse
yah
All of them aren't cutting it, so Seungcheol goes to his true comfort - the fans. He types a new post, and only hesitates a bit before pressing post.
I miss you~
The comments flood in in seconds.
my one and only nonie
omg seungcheol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
쿱수미
i love you so so so much
규쿱규쿱
we miss you more!
He smiles, hand buried in Kkuma's fur while she naps next to him. It's his first post since the hiatus started. He can't bring himself to reply to comments just yet, but he feels better, seeing them, feeling their love for him through their words the same way they feel his love for them through his lyrics.
It's a start.
Eating dinner three times a week with the person you started having a crush on is a test of will power, some would say.
They don't know what it's like having a crush on Yoon Jeonghan.
The thing about their dynamic, as new as it is, is that Jeonghan feels like a lifelong friend to Seungcheol, someone that probably did several annoying things to him in the past to the point that he can't help but feel fondness mixed with exasperation when talking to him.
He contemplated just confessing to Jeonghan and asking him out, but the glaring issue with that is that Jeonghan has no idea who Seungcheol is, or what he does for work. That could get complicated when discussing things like PDA or public dates, even without the added layer of being two men in a romantic relationship.
There's also the question of Jeonghan's own preferences, and if he'd even consider Seungcheol as an option. Seungcheol trusts him enough to believe that he won't turn around and go to the press with the news that MMO’s S.Coups is into men, but even when guys take the idea of gay men well they might not appreciate another guy liking them.
And outside all of that, there's the simple matter that Yoon Jeonghan is really frustrating to talk to sometimes.
Seungcheol sighs, pinching the fat of his cheek. “I'm gaining weight.”
Jeonghan doesn't even look up from his budaejjigae. “You look great.”
“Stop saying things without looking. Want to die?”
“You do,” Jeonghan makes a show of lifting his eyes from his bowl and tracing Seungcheol's body with his eyes. “You look manly,” he declares. “Very dependable. I like it.”
He goes back to eating his budaejjigae like he didn't say something a siren would say to Seungcheol's to lure him closer.
Whatever.
They're eating at a different restaurant today, sitting with their legs tangled under a tiny table that is only capable of fitting their dishes and glasses. There's other people in the restaurant, all at their own tables eating a late dinner. Most of them are wearing suits.
“Do you wear a suit at work?” Seungcheol asks, curious.
“No, it's business casual,” Jeonghan says. “That's why my hair is like this.”
“Blonde suits you. The length is also good.”
“I'm thinking of cutting it, actually,” Jeonghan probably says just to be contradictory.
Seungcheol sighs. “Do as you wish.”
“Maybe I'll keep it long.”
“Yah, stop it.”
Jeonghan lets out a chuckle and goes back to eating and Seungcheol looks around the restaurant. The small TV hanging in a corner of the ceiling is playing music videos of different idol groups. Right now it's playing a song from a girl group he's pretty sure came to greet him at the backstage of some music show before. Jeonghan chews his bite and follows Seungcheol's gaze to the idols on the TV.
Seungcheol actually never got the chance to ask. “Do you like K-pop?”
Reaching for his glass, Jeonghan shakes his head. “Not really. I only know what's really popular. My juniors at work know more than me.”
“You kind of look like an idol,” Seungcheol says, then wishes he didn't speak at all.
Jeonghan waves him off. “Ey, no.”
Seeing an opportunity, Seungcheol jumps. “Jeonghan-ah, do aegyo!” Seungcheol teases, pretending he's one of MMO’s fans at a fansign asking him to look at them. “Heart! Heart!”
Jeonghan, kudos to him, doesn't back down. With a competitive gleam in his eyes, he aims a finger heart at him, then does a full heart with both of his hands. It's kinda cute, and Jeonghan is pulling it off surprisingly well without embarrassment.
Seungcheol pretends to scream like his fans do. “Shoot me!” It's a popular request at concerts. He's embarrassed to do this at a restaurant, but he knows Jeonghan well enough by now to see he's getting embarrassed too, and he wants to see it.
Through clear struggle, Jeonghan kisses the tips of his fingers that he put together like a gun and aims it at Seungcheol. “Ppang!” he says, full of aegyo in a way that would make the PDs from Seungcheol's trainee days proud.
Seungcheol is completely still, pressing his lips together in effort. Jeonghan manages to hold on to his expression for five seconds before the slow creep of mortification overcomes him and he breaks into delirious giggles, snorting through clenched teeth and teetering to the side of the table, body physically cringing. Seungcheol can't help but break too, laughing at him.
They get a few odd looks from the other patrons, and one of the servers is looking at them like they're considering asking them to be quieter.
“Ah, this is embarrassing!” Jeonghan says, pulling the beanie he's wearing lower on his forehead. “Why did you make me do that?”
“I didn't make you do anything,” Seungcheol protests. He puts another spoon of jjigae in his mouth to stop himself from saying anything more and getting them both kicked out of the restaurant. It would be bad if he was recognized here, on this not-date date. He wouldn't be able to explain to Jeonghan why both of their faces are all over Twitter. ‘Oh by the way, I'm a K-pop idol.’ Then Jeonghan would ask him what group he's from and pull up videos of his debut days doing aegyo and then Seungcheol would have to pack Kkuma up and move to a different country. Maybe live in New York.
“Right,” he remembers as they're leaving the restaurant. “I'm thinking of going back to work soon.”
He won't be cutting his hiatus fully, but returning to interact with fans slowly and easing the constant streaming of longing he feels when he's away from them sounds nice, and his psychologist agreed to the plan when he suggested it on their call.
“That sounds good,” Jeonghan says. “Then you can start paying for dinner too.”
“Yah, I pay for half of them!”
They don't make a big deal of what he said, even if it feels like one. Him going back to work means, at least to Seungcheol, that they won't be able to hang out as often. It's oddly disappointing. They'd only been spending time together for less than two months, and he's this attached already. He can't imagine what spending years at Jeonghan's side would do to him mentally.
When he goes home that night, Kkuma is waiting at the door excitedly, jumping on his leg and waiting for her food. Seungcheol smiles and leans down to pet her head, then goes to get her food for her. Maybe he should invest in an automatic feeder.
After emailing the company his thoughts and texting the members about his idea, he hesitates and texts Jeonghan.
Do you have time on Thursday evening?
yoon jeonghan
yes~
want to eat dinner?
no
a walk
yoon jeonghan
okayyy
He doesn't want to lose this connection between them.
There's a solution to that, maybe.
But first, there's something he has to do.
MMO started their LIVE: :)
Seungcheol takes a deep breath and looks into the camera set in front of him, watching the views rapidly increase and the comments coming in. He waits until the count passes ten thousand viewers and starts talking.
“Hello,” he says, heart in his throat. “Have you been well?”
Seungcheol ends the live and says goodbye to all the staff at the company before getting in the carnival car waiting for him. He declines the manager's suggestion to drive him all the way home, getting off about five minutes’ worth of walk away from the park. He uses the walk to clear his head and try to calm down his heart, but none of it works. Mingyu texted him on the drive, since all the others know what he's going to do.
brother mingyu
if he comes to our concerts, does he sit at the same section our parents sit at?
i don't even know if he'll say yes
he could reject me
brother mingyu
no way
you're a catch
gross
“Seungcheol-ah,” Jeonghan calls him, standing next to the entrance of the park. He looks him over. “I thought you’d bring Kkuma.”
Seungcheol considered bringing her, but if he was going to get shot down today, he didn't want her to see him like that. Besides, the dog training videos he's been watching on YouTube say that dogs should have a positive view of their owners so that they can respect them. Seeing him confess his feelings like a teenager with a crush won't get him any respect from his daughter.
“I'm just coming straight from work,” he says.
They walk into the park side by side. It really is a nice park to walk in, very lush even if it's inside of a neighborhood. He thinks he saw a running track somewhere deeper once.
“You went to work?”
“Yeah. Uh,” he rubs his chin. “Actually! I wanted to say something about it.”
He glances around them then turns to face Jeonghan. The sun has gone down, and he doesn't have his mask on, but it's probably fine. They're basically alone here at this hour.
His palms are sweaty, so he wipes them on his pants. Why is this so nerve-wracking? He doesn't think he was this nervous when he did the live earlier.
“The truth is,” he begins nervously, “I'm an idol. I work as an idol in a group called MMO.”
There. His entire body is clenched, heart going crazy. He said it.
Jeonghan looks at him with clear, slightly confused eyes. “Mh. I know.”
Seungcheol stares at him. “What?”
“What?”
“You know?”
“Yes?” Jeonghan asks.
“How? And for how long?”
“Since the day after I met you?” Jeonghan is starting to look amused. “I eat lunch at Subway sometimes.”
Fuck. The Subway partnership. “You saw the ad?”
“Yeah.”
Seungcheol wants to die. Please, let the ground swallow him. Oh god. “You knew all this time?”
Jeonghan nods.
“Why didn't you say anything!”
“I thought you just wanted to be private about it,” Jeonghan says. “You kept mentioning stuff like schedules and you know a lot about idols. It's not hard to guess.”
It’s starting to occur to Seungcheol that he might not be a great liar.
“Augh,” he falls into a crouch. He doesn't care if it's in the middle of the walkway. This is so embarrassing. He buries his face in his hands. Above him, he can hear Jeonghan laugh. “Stop laughing at me!”
“Aigo,” Jeonghan says, with no real sympathy. Or maybe just a tiny bit, and Seungcheol is just sulking. “Scoups-ssi is embarrassed.”
“Don't call me that!” He whines.
“Choi Seungcheol-ssi.”
“Or that!” Seungcheol glares up at Jeonghan. “Forget it. I was gonna confess to you and ask you out, but I don't want to anymore.” He doesn't even feel flustered by it anymore. Whatever Jeonghan says from now on, Seungcheol is immune to it. The magic is ruined.
“What?”
Jeonghan has a stunned look on his face. For the first time in any of their conversations, he actually looks caught off guard. Not even the time Kkuma nearly pooped on him compares. His mouth is caught in a half-smile, like he's not sure if he's allowed to be happy about what Seungcheol said.
“I’m not doing it.” Seungcheol tells him.
Crouching down to his level, so close that their knees are touching, Jeonghan says, “can I call you Coups?”
“Fine.”
“Coups-ya,” Jeonghan starts. Then stops. He looks almost as shy as Seungcheol is feeling. “Oooh, this is hard.”
Seungcheol is starting to think the feelings between them are much closer than he thought. It gives him a shot of confidence in this mess. “That's why I didn't wanna do it anymore.”
“Okay, okay, I got it.” A pause. “Rock paper scissors and the loser confesses.”
“Sure,” Seungcheol lets himself smile, putting out his fist, watching Jeonghan mirror him. He can feel his heart beat through his lungs and ribs and maybe his breath is just a bit too short. His lower back is burning hot. He might be sweating.
Jeonghan nods to himself. “Ready? Rock, paper, sci-”
Seungcheol grabs him by the shirt and pulls him to a kiss. His lips are soft and parted, and neither of them closed their eyes so they're just staring at each other. Jeonghan's eyes are a really pretty honey brown color up close.
They draw apart after a few seconds, breathing in the space between them. Jeonghan blinks dumbly at him, making Seungcheol a bit smug.
“...do you not use lip balm?” Is the first thing Jeonghan asks him.
“Yah!” Seungcheol lets out an incredulous laugh and pushes his shoulder until he loses his balance and falls on his butt. He scoffs. “That's what you have to say? I can't believe you.”
Jeonghan laughs, low and breathy.
Seungcheol straightens up and dusts himself off, offering Jeonghan a hand and pulling him up. Neither of them lets go of the other's hand.
“Wanna go get dinner?”
“I want chuck flap.”
“Eat something else for once.”
“Budaejjigae.”
Feeling bold, Seungcheol asks. “What if I cooked for you at my place?”
“Can you cook?”
“...we can order in.”
“Okay,” Jeonghan says. “Do you have beer?”
Seungcheol leads him through the park by hand, having memorized his way back home after so many times here.