Work Text:
—
Words. Each word seemed like a hard pill that was stuck in Yoongi’s throat. So there he was soaking it with more whiskey. No. Vodka. No. Rum. Hell he did not know anymore.
Another empty glass dropped in front of him. He groaned as the warm liquid burned his throat. “Ugh vodka.” He murmured as he realized what he was drinking now.
It only meant to be a social gathering. Maybe a drink or two he said. But that drink or two turned to countless shots then followed with whatever else was served to him. His head throbbed and his stomach grumbled with all the liquid he drank.
“Shit.” He grabbed a glass of what looked like water to him since it got some ice to it. He chugged a quarter of it only to stop himself and groaned once again. “Gin and tonic. Who drinks that shit?!”
“I do.”
Yoongi immediately turned his head on his right and smirked like a fool. Eyes drooped sleepily but managed to recognize who just spoke. “Opps. Sorwi.”
“You’re fucking drunk Min Yoongi.”
“Shh.. I Know.. your fault.. nottt mine.” Yoongi said and pointed at the other. “Jiminiee.” He murmured some more.
Sighed heavily, Jimin looked around them. The bar was about to close. Only a few of their friends were there but mostly passed out on their booths.
“Who said to fucking drink the whole bar Yoongi?!” Jimin yelled irritably. “What is wrong with you?!”
Yes Jimin was mad but still took Yoongi’s arm to round over his shoulder. “Let’s go home hyung.” Jimin said. This time much softer yet the frown on his forehead did not smoothen.
“Hmm.” Yoongi hummed and leaned his head on Jimin. Not his usual act around the younger. “Jiminie.. sorry.. hyung didn’t mean to.”
“Shh you’re always like this. I should have not left your side if I only knew you’ll be drinking this much.”
“My body.. my rules..” Yoongi whispered and tried to move away from Jimin but he only stumbled onto a few chairs near him.
The music was dying down. More waiters were starting to clear out the tables so Jimin really just wanted to leave soon so he grabbed Yoongi again. “Come on. Time to go. Let’s get you to bed soon.”
“M’kay.. bed.. I like.. that.” Yoongi smiled with his dumpling looking cheeks and his crescent moon eyes.
Jimin just sighed and kept guiding the older out of the club. He just had to figure out how they would go home since Yoongi was supposed to be his designated driver but none of them could drive now.
“I’ll book us a ride hmm. Just stay still.”
Yoongi nodded and sat on the pavement. Head hung low while his arms were resting on top of his knees. He could sleep there if he would want to but somehow his brain still could not stop thinking of Jimin.
“Sorryy.. Jiminiee.” He murmured to himself but Jimin heard that.
—
During the ride home Jimin could only watch Yoongi sleeping next to him. His head was resting on his shoulder.
“You’re such a pain, Min Yoongi.” Jimin said and rolled his eyes. Still annoyed but also worried.
Yoongi has been drinking more and more recently so it was new to Jimin. They had been to parties before too but Yoongi would always be the responsible one. Scolding him when needed. Always making sure they would get home safely. Or at least sober enough to bring themselves home.
Though this time, it was the fourth time that Yoongi has been this drunk in a month.
Jimin would ask but all that Yoongi would say, it’s nothing. Or he was fine. Or he was just having fun.
Fun. If that was the definition of fun to Yoongi, well Jimin wasn’t liking it. He had been through that stage wherein he would drink until the sun was up but it was only because of stress from their exams, pressure from his parents or just a bad breakup. It's not that he had been in a serious relationship, he never had but still, pain is pain. Alcohol and parties could distract him for chasing someone that was not for him.
Jimin learned to live by it. So far having his guard up and not assuming things helped him to just enjoy himself in making good memories with his friends.
And mostly just limit himself to be with the one who once made his heart beat not so normally.
“Hyung. We’re here. I can’t carry you so move and get out of the car!” Jimin said while holding the car door for Yoongi. “MIN YOONGI!” He yelled. Losing his patience for a split second then bowed a little to the driver. “Sorry I will get him out.” He then grabbed Yoongi’s arm. “Come on Yoongi.”
“Hmm what will I do without you Jiminie?” Yoongi murmured as if talking in sleep since he barely even opened his eyes.
Jimin could only shake his head then hook his arm on Yoongi. “Stairs, one at a time. Come on.” He said to the other. “I’ll stay over so I can help you.”
“You always take care of me.” Yoongi said and stopped walking. His drunken gaze was blurry so he rubbed his eyes. “Jiminie what will I do without you hmm?”
Jimin had to take a deep breath before he pulled Yoongi to walk again. “You’re talking nonsense. You live just fine. I’m sure you’ll be fine when I’m gone.” He said it too quietly. Or Yoongi was just out of it so he did not get a response. “Right, you’re talking to yourself again, Jimin.” He said to himself.
“Couch Yoongiii..” Jimin yelled but Yoongi pulled off his jacket and headed to his bedroom. “No. No. Couch. You’ll be mad at yourself if you throw up in your bed. Remember that first time huh?”
Yoongi nodded. Eyes were closed and just stood still until Jimin pulled him. “Jiminiee.” He whined.
“I’ll get you water.”
“No.” Yoongi said and patted the right side of the couch. “Jiminnn.“
“Stop calling me! I’m right here!” Jimin said and groaned as he took the seat. Uncertain as to why Yoongi kept repeating his name. “I am here.” He whispered.
To Jimin's surprise, Yoongi reached for his hand. Hands. Cupping them with his own. Warming it or caressing it. Jimin could not process this right now. He blinked twice, maybe even more when Yoongi leaned closer.
“Jimin.. you know I love you. Maybe I will never be okay again. I love you.”
“Wh-what?”
Jimin was stunned. Each word echoed in his head.
Snore. Snoring followed with whatever it was that Yoongi just said. Jimin laughed. A nervous laugh. Or a bitter laugh.
“He.. he’s just drunk.” Jimin said to himself.
Jimin should leave or move away. But he kept Yoongi’s head on his shoulder. He just sat there, staring at every piece of furniture that Yoongi had in his living room.
There wasn’t too much in there. Yoongi was simple and minimalist. The tv stand barely had storage in it before so Jimin had to convince the older to buy a shelf to organize some of his books and thankfully he listened so the room was more neat. Unlike the whole clutter on the coffee table and the side of the tv a year ago.
Jimin took deep breaths. Letting the time pass them. Yoongi was deep in sleep while Jimin’s mind was full of questions.
“Yoongi loves me?”
“Hyung cares about me?”
“He sees me differently?”
“Can we be more than friends?”
The more questions arose the more Jimin felt the tightness of his chest. He balled his fist on his lap. Screaming internally about the fact that Yoongi was drunk and talking nonsense.
“He.. he will sober up. He will. We will.. we will just talk about it tomorrow.” Jimin tried to convince himself.
So without saying a proper goodbye to the older. Jimin guided Yoongi to sleep on the couch properly. Laying him down then covered him with a blanket. He even left a bucket for him to reach easily for the inevitable. Then a glass of water and some advil.
Jimin could have just walked out but his conscience was bugging him so he had to do the same thing that he has been doing whenever Yoongi got too drunk to care for himself.
—
A sharp pain on Yoongi’s shoulder woke him. He groaned as he slowly pulled himself up. Holding his left shoulder. Massaging it really. He cursed out loud when he stretched his arms out. His body was in pain from sleeping on his side then followed with a headache.
The advil immediately caught his attention. “Ugh shit. Jiminie was here.” He said. He took the pill and emptied the glass right away.
Yes, he knew it’s Jimin. Jimin always did these things for him. He rushed to look for his phone, hoping to thank the younger but of course his phone got to be as dead as him last night.
“Charge it Yoongi or Jimin will be yelling.” He said to himself.
So there, he forced himself to get up and plug in his phone. Taking the time to make sure his phone would light up before he left it for a shower.
It’s Sunday, a perfect time to just lounge at home. Maybe cook something to warm his stomach and watch some movies or just simply sleep.
And that's what Yoongi did. The latter. After the shower he went to his comfortable bed with his weighted blanket cozying him up and hugged him.
There was his day, just gone past him without really realizing what chaos he brought to the one he unconsciously confessed to.
—
While Jimin. Jimin stayed home. Even stayed in his bed for the longest time. The sun has surely set already. Not the usual way of him spending his day.
The normal Sundays for Jimin would be brunch with friends or an early walk or jog at the park. But none of those were possible. Because all he could think of was Yoongi.
The words that Yoongi said. The gentle touch on his hands. The soft gaze though more so of a drunken daze with a drunken confession. Or none of those were true and just meaningless.
Jimin flipped to his stomach and tapped the screen of his phone. For the nth time. No text. No calls. Nothing.
“Is he dead or what?” He tossed his phone on the side. Turning to lay on his back again. And yes staring at his ceiling like how his Sunday turned out.
Dead. It lingered in Jimin’s mind so he rushed off his bed and ran to leave his place.
Tightly gripping on his doorknob, Jimin shook his head. “If something bad happens he will call. Or the police will be here. But what if he could not call for help? Jeez Jimin, make up your mind!”
Before Jimin could take another step away from his property, someone called his name.
“Oh Joon-hyung.” He said in surprise. “Wha-what are you doing here?”
“Ah, just returning Yoongi’s notes, he told me the other day to return it before his class so here I am.” Namjoon waved a piece of notebook in hand but then frowned. He somehow tried to look away. “Are.. are you okay?”
Jimin immediately nodded his head. “Yeah I’m okay.”
“You ahmm.. you might want to change if you’re planning to go out.”
Baffled. It took a few seconds for Jimin to realize what he was wearing. He gasped and crossed his arms over his chest. His shorts were too short and his thin tank top could see through his body. The cold suddenly hit him.
“Oh gosh.. ahmm.. I’ll change. Yoongi might be asleep. Come inside so you don't have to wait here.” He said and turned to enter his place first.
Namjoon did follow through with the invite. He chuckled while removing his jacket. “I’ll order some food if you haven’t had dinner yet or we can go out?”
“Anything is fine. I’ll just change.” Jimin yelled since he was already half way to his bedroom.
—
Without wanting to sulk in bed more, Jimin agreed to go out at the nearby ramen place. It was just a few blocks away from his apartment building. He had gone there multiple times. Even with Yoongi since it's a popular place for most college students due to its reasonable price.
“Order anything. My treat.” Namjoon said and showed off his dimpled smile. He tucked his hands into his pocket as he looked around. Already planning where to sit.
Chuckling, Jimin excitedly mentioned his order when they reached the counter then soon found them a spot.
Hanging out with Namjoon wasn’t new to Jimin. It’s natural for him to be friends with Yoongi’s circle only because he followed Yoongi most of the time, especially during the first few months of his first year in the campus.
“So.. how’s school?” Namjoon asked, suddenly finding topics for them to discuss since Jimin had gone silent.
“Hmm.. school. You sound like a dad.” Jimin jokingly said. Knowing that he did zone out so he had to lighten their mood a bit. Not wanting to be obvious that he had a lot in mind so he converse some more. “But yeah, it’s fine. You? You missed your classes?”
“Ah yeah, I’ve been out of town for a bit so I asked for Yoongi’s notes.”
“Glad he let you.” Jimin whispered, then looked around the place. Yoongi liked going there too so he could not help but think of the older again.
The only thing that made Jimin come back to his senses was when their order arrived. Namjoon and him shared more talk about their classes than anything else. It was normal and nothing new.
As much as Jimin wanted to talk about Yoongi he opted not to. He did not feel too comfortable to even share what was really troubling his thoughts.
—
Multiple buzzes on his doorbell made Yoongi flip and jerked up. He flickered his lashes but his room was pitch black so he reached the lamp on his right. Not realizing how long he had been asleep.
“Shit what time is it?” He hissed when he checked his phone. It’s almost nine at night. He rubbed his forehead as he slipped each foot on his house slippers.
And before Yoongi could get to his door, he stopped for a moment when he heard a faint voice, though very much familiar. He stood there. And took a peek on the peephole of his door.
“Come on hyung, just stay here.”
“Jiminie.” Yoongi whispered and balled his fist on his side while watching Namjoon accept Jimin’s invite. “You really like him don’t you.” He whispered to himself.
He scoffed as he walked away from the door. Finding himself being pathetic. But instead of dwelling on that. He went to change his clothes. Aiming to just be out. Needing much distraction before he starts drinking again.
“Hey, I’m coming over. I’ll bring food.” He said when he made a call.
It did not take long for Yoongi to reach his destination. It was just a few blocks away from his apartment building. Just within the campus dorms.
Just two knocks and the door swung open. “What’s going on now?”
“I’ll sleep here.” Yoongi said and adjusted the back pack he had on his right shoulder. “Here. Let’s eat.” He passed off the paperbag with a box of fried chicken and two cans of beer.
“Ahmm excuse me?”
Yoongi sighed and walked closer to the other. “Jin, can I sleep here?” He asked in a much better tone. Not too demanding. But sounded desperate.
Really concerned on how Yoongi was acting. Jin nodded. He could not deny a friend needing his help so he agreed. “Fine. You’re already here, what can I do huh?”
“You can kick me out tho.” Yoongi dared to say. Really embarrassed of what he was doing. If he could choose he would rather stay in his place but after seeing Jimin with Namjoon he would rather be where he is now.
“As if I will!” Jin said and grabbed Yoongi’s arm. Leading him to his living room. “Let’s just eat here. I’ll watch a movie.”
“Hmmk.” Yoongi said and settled on his seat.
Not a minute after; his phone vibrated in his pocket so he quickly fished it out. His heart drummed a little. Thinking it might be Jimin but in his disappointment it was just one of his blockmates. He scoffed and tossed his phone on the side. “He’s too busy I guess.”
“Hmm? You said something?” Jin asked while approaching him.
“Ah no. Nothing.” Yoongi said and scooted on the further right to give space for Jin to sit. His stomach grumbled with just the amora of the food.
“God did you not eat again?”
“I was asleep the whole day.” Yoongi said in his defense.
Jin raised an eyebrow but soon joined Yoongi on the couch. “Well I heard you got drunk and Jimin had to bring you home. Don’t you think you’re being such a burden to him? Its not the first time he had to do that. Remember the other week your friends had to call him at 1 am to pick you up.”
Burden. Yoongi stayed quiet for a minute or two. Dwelling onto the word burden. That it must be all true. He had become a burden to Jimin.
“They do not have to call Jimin. And Jimin can start ignoring those calls. I can bring myself home and not BURDEN him with my shit.”
The tone of Yoongi made Jin worry even more. “Hey.. are you.. are you mad at him or something? This isn’t you. Not around Jimin. You care about him.”
The movie had not been played yet so the silence of Yoongi made the place even quieter. Only Jin’s question echoed in his head.
“Jimin can focus on his stuff. And I don’t care if he will just move away or date someone again.”
Jin somehow expected this reaction from Yoongi. It was known to him how guarded Yoongi could be when it comes to his emotions. And if Yoongi could, he would shield himself from any possible pain.
So there was Jin lowering his head as he reached for Yoongi’s hand. “You know Jimin is single now and..”
Before Jin could continue Yoongi already laughed bitterly. Pulling his hand away from Jin’s hold. “And so? It means he can date again. Who cares.”
Hopeless. Jin stood and walked back to the kitchen but said something that he forgot to mention a while ago. “Oh I forgot to say, I invited him here. Joon is with Jimin. They’ll be here in a bit.”
“What?! I go here for a reason! Jin how..”
A doorbell rang and Jin faced Yoongi. “Must be them. Open the door.” He got no response nor did Yoongi move his feet. “Please? I’m getting the popcorn.”
Yoongi groaned and dragged his feet to get the door per Jin’s request.
When the door swung open, Yoongi stood still while staring at Jimin, smiling brightly and laughing lively. Only had his eyes on Namjoon next to him.
“Come in.” Yoong murmured. His voice was deep and emotionless. Irritated at what he just saw and with lack of a better mood from the short conversation he shared with Jin.
This time. Jimin’s smiles faded. It was too quick. Yoongi felt his heart up to his throat. Drumming unnecessarily loud. He swallowed hard.
“You’re here?” Jimin asked. Surprised. When Jin called he never mentioned having Yoongi around. He just invited them to join him for a movie and nothing more. “I..”
“No. I’m just your imagination.” Yoongi said sarcastically and walked away. Completely ignored what more that Jimin would say. “They are here.” He soon said to Jin as he sat back on the couch.
“Huh.. hey! Take a seat anywhere. I’ll get more drinks.” Jin said after he placed a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. Smiling at everyone.
“I’ll help you.” Namjoon said and left the other two alone.
Jimin kept his eyes on Yoongi while the older busy himself with his phone. Really contemplating if he would ask him about the confession or this wasn’t the place and time for it. He sighed when Yoongi did not take a glance at him when he leaned back on the couch.
“Well he’s not dead.” Jimin murmured.
Yoongi scoffed. Still not looking. “I’m not dead.”
“Assuming.” Jimin said with eyeroll. Mad for knowing that the one he had been waiting all day was just with Jin. “Namjoon-hyung, do you need help?” He offered. Hoping to not be alone with Yoongi right now.
“Tsk let them be. And this is Jin’s place. Don’t act like it’s Namjoon’s.”
“Act?” Jimin glared at Yoongi. Totally spoiled his mood. He got up and was to walk away when Jin and Namjoon appeared.
“We’re good Jimin.” Namjoon said smiling and much energetic now. Or maybe too comfortable? Jimin just smiled back. Ignoring his mind for overthinking things.
“Yeah, take a seat. I’ll grab the remote.” Jin said but Namjoon said he’ll do it.
Jimin had more questions to answer his confused mind but then went to the pillow on the floor near Yoongi’s side while Namjoon took the other on the left in front of Jin who sat next to Yoongi on the couch.
“Ready?” Namjoon asked and Jin smiled as he nodded.
Yoongi grabbed the beer when Jin stopped him. “Eat first. You haven’t eaten anything.” Jin said and handed Yoongi a plate he prepared for him.
“Hmmk.” Yoongi said and smiled at Jin briefly then felt some eyes on him. Both Jimin and Namjoon were watching him.
“Joon do you want some?” Jin offered some chicken but Namjoon shook his head. “Jimin and I ate at the ramen house. I can take the beer.” He said.
Jin hummed and gave a can of beer to Namjoon. He also asked Jimin who gladly took one.
Without even thinking much, Jimin almost empty the can right away. He laughed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sorry I got thirsty." He said and looked away. Avoiding Yoongi’s eyes on him.
As the minutes passed everyone was turned in with the movie. They found it entertaining. A classic heist with the revenge arc of the leading man. With a twist of romance. And with every serious lead came a funny wingman.
Jin laughed along with Namjoon who soon leaned his back between Jin’s legs. Jin did not find it odd and even rested his hands on Namjoon’s shoulders.
Jimin felt the burn on his cheeks. Realizing that Namjoon must be dating Jin without him knowing. Embarrassed only because Jin might see him bad for spending dinner with Namjoon but truly he just found it as a friendly gesture. Nothing more.
The red on Jimin’s cheeks and ears were too noticeable for Yoongi. This was the first time for him to see Jin being this cozy with Namjoon. They were all single so he should not be worried but in his mind Jimin liked Namjoon and seeing the reaction of the younger only confirmed his assumptions.
“I’ll use the bathroom. Keep the movie playing.” Jimin said and walked away. He had gone to Jin’s place before so he could help himself to find the bathroom.
Meanwhile Jin patted Yoongi’s shoulder next to him. “Why don’t you talk to him?”
“What’s there to say? We’re watching a movie.” Yoongi said as an excuse and really did not find any reason to talk. Or was there something important that they had to talk about? Yoongi asked him but shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about.” He murmured to himself.
When Jimin came back, he was holding his phone and scratched the back of his neck. “Ahmm.. hyung.”
Yoongi immediately turned his head but only to see how Jimin looked at Jin and Namjoon’s direction so he looked away.
“Sorry I can’t stay and finish the movie. I have to go now.”
Namjoon was about to stand but Jimin stopped him.
“I’ll be fine. I can walk with..”
“I’m sleeping here.” Yoongi said without glancing at anyone. Locking his eyes on his phone while scrolling through it.
“With Taehyung. He’ll get here soon. He’ll walk me home.” Jimin said. It’s a lie. Of course it’s a lie. Because being in the same room with Yoongi right now was not ideal. And much more when the other could not even spare a glance on him. Or even talk to him like normal. Although he knew to himself that he did not do anything wrong to Yoongi. But if he would stay longer he could not say how long he would hold off the questions running in his head. So to him, it was best to just leave and maybe just forget what Yoongi had told him when he was drunk and must be out of his own consciousness.
Both Jin and Namjoon tried to ask Jimin to stay and let Taehyung join them but Jimin said they had something to do with their project so he really had to go.
Soon Jimin went on with his plan. He walked out of Jin’s apartment and just pulled his hood to cover his head as he walked home alone.
Meanwhile, Jin was eyeing Yoongi next to him. “Go after him.” He said.
“Tae is with him. They’ll just do their project. I told you I’ll sleep here.” Yoongi said and adjusted from his seat. Grabbing the bowl of popcorn to his lap. “Let’s continue watching. He’ll call me if he needs my help.” He added.
Jin was about to speak when Namjoon stole his hand. “Yeah I’m sure Jimin will call any of us if he needs us.”
“Hmmk, it’s just odd. Taehyung said he’ll be home this weekend. Or did he return early?” Jin said.
Yoongi frowned. Biting his lower lip as he dug into his brain. Recalling what Jimin said Friday night. Jimin was telling him about the party and how he invited him since Taehyung won’t be back till Monday morning.
“Monday. He said Tae won’t be back till Monday.”
“So he’ll walk home alone?” Namjoon asked and stood on his feet. “Let me walk him home first. I brought him here so its..”
“Yeah. Yeah make sure he’ll get home safe.” Jin said and walked Namjoon out of his apartment.
As soon as Namjoon was out, Jin stormed towards Yoongi. Glaring irritably at the other. “Why are you avoiding Jimin?!”
“I am not. I told you I am staying over. And he said..”
“He lied! Obviously there’s something going on between you two! Jimin wouldn’t have to lie if he’s not having issues being here!”
Yoongi scoffed and sat straight. “God, isn’t it obvious? He likes Namjoon. And maybe he got caught off guard when you two got cuddly! None of us know you two are a thing! So I can't blame him if he likes Namjoon without telling you.”
This reasoning of Yoongi only made Jin mad. “He doesn’t like Namjoon!! They are just friends! If Jimin have no problem then maybe it’s you! Why are you here? Why don’t you want to walk Jimin home? You always care for him. Look after him! You’re only acting this way when Jimin is seeing someone..” He stopped for a second. “So you.. you are grumpy because you thought Jimin is seeing Joon?”
“No.” A short answer from Yoongi. He looked away. His cheek turned a little red. Embarrassed but also not giving away what he really felt after seeing Jimin and Namjoon being too friendly.
“Well?” Jin crossed his arms and began tapping his right foot as if waiting for Yoongi to speak more.
“I have nothing to say. Jimin can do whatever he wants.”
“You’re hopeless. If someone treats Jimin better, don't come here asking for a drink. I won’t open my door anymore.” Jin said and slumped into the couch. He pulled his phone from his pocket just to watch Joon’s location.
Yoongi secretly glanced at Jin’s phone just to make sure Jimin would be walking to his apartment and not elsewhere.
“They are just one turn away.” Jin said when he noticed Yoongi.
“I did not ask.” Yoongi said. He just grabbed a can of beer. Chugging it down quickly. “Ugh do you have more of this?”
Jin rolled his eyes then pointed at the kitchen. “Fridge. Don’t drown yourself.”
“I won't." Yoongi said.
When Namjoon returned it was mainly just him and Jin who were focused on the movie. Yoongi was just deep in his own thoughts. He did not bother asking Namjoon on how Jimin was and why he had to leave or even lie about Taehyung. Although all those questions were echoing in his head.
“Ugh can you stop sighing so loudly Yoongi!” Jin snapped at Yoongi next to him. “Go and talk to Jimin.”
“Nope.” Yoongi slouched on the couch while munching on some more popcorn. “He’ll be asleep soon. He got an early class.”
“I don’t think so.” Namjoon said and opened a can of beer for Jin. “Here babe.”
“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked. He watched Namjoon move around Jin and it’s more obvious that the two were really lovers. “Come on, talk to me.”
“Now he wants to talk.” Jin said sarcastically but soon eased up on his seat when Namjoon gave him a nod as if he was silently saying to give Yoongi a chance. “Fine.” He let out an exasperating breath.
When Yoongi looked more attentive, Jin began to speak again. “Jimin said he won’t attend his class tomorrow and..”
“Why?”
“Can you let me finish?” Jin asked.
Yoongi nodded but really eager to know. He was dead curious only because he should be the first one to know. Jimin would always tell him his plans. Jimin would always consult his input. Jimin would always be in his apartment if he got a free period or skipping class. “But really.. why would he..”
“He said he had a lot in mind. And just know he won't be focused in class. He seemed distressed too.” Namjoon chimed in.
“What do you mean? He looked fine when he got here.”
Jin sighed and leaned back on his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest. He slightly turned to Yoongi. Accessing his face since he could not believe how Yoongi was playing dumb right now. “Really? You call that fine? We won't lie to leave first for nothing!”
“So he has a problem and he’s not telling me?” Yoongi whispered to himself. He lowered his head while he processed this.
“Well you didn’t really make it easy for him to talk to you earlier.” Namjoon said. “But you know I found him by his door earlier looking worried. I even told him to change his clothes since he might have forgotten how thin his clothes were.”
“What?!” Both Jin and Yoongi asked.
Namjoon laughed a little and reached for Jin’s hand. “I just saw him when I was to go to Yoongi. I was returning his notebook, remember?”
When Jin nodded. Yoongi scooted closer at the two. “Don’t change the topic. Why is Jimin outside his apartment? And what is he wearing again? His sleepwear? The blue one? Or pi..”
“Yeah the light pink top and wh..”
“White satin shorts. Damn Park Jimin.” Yoongi groaned and brushed away his hair. “Did he tell you why he was out there?”
“Not really but he did look worried that's why I invited him to eat out instead. I thought someone might be disturbing him so he checked outside.”
Yoongi clenched his jaw. Worried but much more on edge with the idea of someone bugging Jimin at his apartment. “He should not be going out by himself. He should call the security or call..”
“Call who? You?” Jin asked but scoffed so Yoongi glared at him. “What? You were asleep all day. Do you really think you would wake up if Jimin called?”
“I might not but he got the key to my apartment! He could have just gone to me!”
Namjoon hummed and nodded but his silences only made Yoongi curious about what was running in his head. “Speak Joon.”
“Okay look. I think Jimin really wants to talk to you. Before I left he asked me if you would go home even though you told him you wouldn’t so I don't know maybe he will wait on you.”
Contemplating if he would or not. Yoongi stayed silent. Even deeply rooted on the couch. But another minute passed when Jin hit his shoulder.
“Ughh Jin-hyung!!!” Yoongi whined painfully while Namjoon laughed out loud. Both were shocked by what Jin did.
“Go home! Jimin is single! Go be his man! He needs you right now!”
Yoongi blinked twice. Processing what Jin just said. Refusing in his head. “We are friends!” He suddenly yelled back.
“See? Look at your friend Joon! He always denies this while it's so obvious how he cares about Jimin.” Jin said while only keeping his gaze on Namjoon. Disappointment yet again.
“Stop pushing me on Jimin jeez. We’re just friends.” Yoongi said and looked away. Clearly wanted the conversation to be over. He took the remote from Jin’s side to play the last thirty minutes of the movie they were watching.
None spoke. Just fully engaged to the tv screen. Still munching on some snacks and drinking their beer.
As the time passed, the movie credits soon showed. Yoongi began sharing his analysis but no one responded. It was only then when he realized Jin had fallen asleep on Namjoon’s shoulder. Both were squeezed into their side of the couch. Namjoon was spent too. Well given the number of beer cans in front of him it would definitely bring one to sleep.
Sighing, Yoongi was about to stand when his phone vibrated on his pocket. He fished it out and skimmed through the text. A message. A lengthy one.
“What is this?” He murmured.
Text:
“𝙄 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙄 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨. 𝙄 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙤𝙮. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙣𝙙. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩. 𝙈𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨. 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙮. 𝙔𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙞, 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙏𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛. 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚.”
“Ji-jimin?”
The cold took over Yoongi. His hand felt numb from holding his phone tightly. “Wh-what did I do.. last night?”
Stumbling as he grabbed his bag from the other side of the couch. He tore a piece of paper from the takeout bag and wrote Jin a note. He hurriedly ran towards the door.
Careful yet in a much rush. He closed the door and made sure it was locked for Jin not to yell at him in the morning. Though what worried him more was Jimin. The questions as to why he was saying goodbye.
Jimin was leaving. Planning to leave but not this soon. And most definitely not this way.
“Jimin, wait.” Yoongi kept repeating as he jogged home. He never runs. He never hurries. But this felt like a time ticking bomb that would soon shatter him into pieces. Cause even just a thought of Jimin being out of his life he could feel the tore ripping through the deeper core of his heart.
With one last step near Jimin’s apartment, Yoongi stopped. Breathless but tried to compose himself as much as he could. The beer got his knees a little wobbly and his head was starting to hurt but who cares. He fixed his shirt and knocked on the door.
“Jimin.. Jiminiee.. I’m here.”
With a few more tries and no Jimin came out so Yoongi quickly rummaged through his pocket. “I’m coming in!” He said as he unlocked the door with his spare key.
Yoongi rushed to get to the apartment but saw no one until he got to Jimin’s room. “Shit.” He cursed out upon stumbling to a Jimin who was slumped on the floor with his head hanging low. Back leaning on the bed while his right hand gripped on a bottle of whiskey.
Jimin’s drink would always be just cocktails, or a beer or two. Never a hard liquor. But this time the bottle was half way to getting it done.
“Jimin.” He called for the younger and the crease on his forehead deepened when he recognized the bottle of whiskey. It was his. It was new. It came from him. His apartment. Jimin really went to his apartment to get a drink.
“Jimin what’s going on.” Yoongi’s voice was much softer. The worry in him was talking over. He kept asking the same question and calling Jimin by his name but he got no answer.
Tears. Just tears.
Yoongi was stunned to make another move when he kneeled next to Jimin. The sobbing continued while Jimin just stared deep in his eyes. “Wh-what’s going on?” He laughed a bit. A nervous laugh.
He never saw Jimin this broken. Never. He had seen the younger in a break up but not this sad. Not this devastated.
Then it hit him.
“Is.. is it because of Namjoon and Jin?” Yoongi’s heart pounded loudly. The thought of Jimin being in love with Namjoon pierced his heart painfully.
Jimin shook his head frantically. He wanted to scream. He wanted to push Yoongi away so he would not be seen this way but he couldn’t. “I don’t like him Yoongi.. not that way.” He murmured between his cries.
“Then why are you crying and drinking huh?”
“Nothing.” Jimin was about to chug his drink again but Yoongi stole it from him. He drank it himself because all this was getting in his nerves. He was starting to get mad but also hurt by seeing this Jimin in front of him
“What.. are you.. doing! That’s minee.” Jimin whined as he tried to steal back the whiskey from Yoongi.
“No. This is mine. And you never like this. You hate my choice of drink, Jimin!”
Jimin laughed as he lowered his gaze. Heart aching from each word that Yoongi just said. His tears followed despite the short laugh. “I.. I hate everything that you do.”
“I know.” Yoongi said. The bitterness of his heart cancelled out the bitterness of his drink. He chugged it once more. Letting the burn on his throat be the center of his pain now.
“Because I told myself to hate you.” Jimin added but only to cry even louder. “Because I should only hate you.”
As soon as Jimin looked up, Yoongi almost lost his strength. He fell on the floor and just sat there staring at Jimin. The tears that were rolling down his face. “Ji..”
“Because I am your friend.. I am just your friend Yoongi. I am just..”
“Jimin.” Yoongi tried to hold Jimin but the younger brushed away his hands.
“No.. it’s so clear.. you do not like me. You made me feel that at the very beginning. I always hear you with others. God.. why is it always when I want to go to you. I would always hear you say how much you see me as your friend. A good friend. That I should do what I want. Or I should find someone else so I won't bother you as much.”
Jimin frowned and clenched his fist over his chest. Gathering me courage to speak up and stay in Yoongi’s gaze. “Yoongi you kept pushing me away but I’m so fucking stupid to stay and just be the good friend to you.”
“Jimin.” Yoongi’s heart breaks from what Jimin was saying but also confused because the younger should not be crying this way for him. “I’m sorry if I was being so stubborn. If it was because of earlier, I’m sorry. I should have walked you home and thank you for taking care of me when I got drunk last night. Sorry Jimin.”
“Last night.” Jimin laughed bitterly and this time looked away. Confirming how Yoongi could not recall what he did or say. What Yoongi caused him to act and feel this way. “I hate you.” He murmured.
“I know. I was a jerk. I'm sorry.” Yoongi said and was about to reach Jimin’s hand but he stopped himself.
Seeing how adamant and controlled Yoongi was only brought more tears to Jimin. “It was nothing.” He whispered. Reminding himself that whatever Yoongi told him when he was drunk was for nothing. Nothing but words of gratitude.
“Gratitude. Fuck.. its just.. I was. Nice.. I’m just.. I can’t help..”
“Jimin.” Yoongi panicked when another wave of tears flooded Jimin. He caged him in his arms this time. His heart beat differently at the sight of this Jimin. It beats painfully. “Please.. stop.. stop crying.”
“I date others.. they leave me because.. because I can’t.. I can’t.. my heart..”
“Jimin.. let’s get you to bed.”
“No!” Jimin tried to move away but Yoongi only held him tighter. “I drink.. after a breakup.. I drink..”
“I know that.” Yoongi said and pulled away. He brushed his fingers through Jimin’s hair.
“Because of you.”
Yoongi stopped his hand, his gaze got locked into Jimin’s. “What? Why.. why me?”
“Because each.. each breakup was a.. a reminder of how stupid I am.” Jimin said and poked Yoongi’s chest. He stared at his pointy finger. His lips quivered some more as he imagined Yoongi’s heart. “Because I can never hold your heart.”
Jimin’s tears were endless. Only his cries were echoing in the four corners of his room. His bedroom heard and listened to his cries more than he could count. “I can’t stop.. each break up reminds me that I can’t move on from you Yoongi. I keep coming back to you.”
Yoongi was too surprised to speak. His brain could not process this. It was clouded with self doubt. “Jimin I..”
“Shh.. it’s okay. It’s okay Yoongi-hyung. You made it clear today. You ignore me. You let me wait in vain. You reminded me to draw the line between our friendship.. this.. this is where we are.” Jimin said and pulled his legs up to his legs. Making himself small as he drew the imaginary line between them. Tears were welling in his eyes while he kept his gaze on the floor.
“I am just so stupid to try and convince myself that I can get over this stupid crush. This stupid lo.. I should hate you. I should hate everything that you like or do. I tried my fucking best to stop my heart. I tried Yoongi. I thought I can. But after last night.. you made me hopeful! But only to break me even more.”
Jimin cried the loudest after the last part. He wanted to believe what Yoongi told him. He wanted to believe that those drunk words were his sober thoughts but it was like a fever dream.
“Jimin, what are you talking about? Did I do something? Did I touch you.. did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” The panic in Yoongi’s voice was too evident on how he regretted what he had possibly done last night. “Jimin, I'm sorry if I hurt you last night. I wasn’t myself. I was drunk. I can’t even remember what I did or said. Please don’t cry anymore. I’ll make it up to you. What can I do to stop you from crying huh? How can you forgive me.”
Jimin listened to every word that Yoongi said. He looked up to meet his gaze. “Tell me.. tell me how you feel.. about me. What am I to you Min Yoongi?”
Taken aback. Yoongi frowned. “What?”
“Tell me you..” Jimin shook his head. He wanted to ask Yoongi to tell him he loved him but he couldn’t put words into his mouth. Because it only meant he was forcing himself into Yoongi’s heart. “Nevermind.” He murmured.
Yoongi rushed to hold Jimin’s hand. “You’re important. I care about you. Jin is right, I care about you. You took care of me when I needed you even if I didn't need you. You're always there. I’m sorry if I made you this sad. I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that you’re sorry!” Jimin pulled his hand and hid them away. Tucked under his arms. He bit his lower lip. Stopping it from quivering. Blaming the liquor for making him more emotional. More broken that he already was.
“What do you want me to say?” Yoongi asked again.
“Tell me..,tell me your sober thoughts.. I want the truth.. I want you to tell me that you love me.. that you really love me..and not just because you were too drunk..”
Jimin’s tears streamed down his face again. Eyes locked into Yoongi. Begging internally that what he said would not scare away Yoongi because the only reason why he hid his love for the older was because it might ruin what they had.
“You’re too drunk, you’re talking nonsense.” Jimin added.
“You..You’re too drunk, you’re talking nonsense.” Yoongi mimicked each word. But in a different tone. A confused one. Almost murmuring to himself.
A laugh. A chuckle. Jimin hummed and nodded. “Right.” He whispered. More to himself but was heard by the other. “I’m glad.. I’m glad I am sober enough to remember everything. Thank you Yoongi for making it all clear now. You may go.”
Yoongi was getting frustrated again. He tried to stop Jimin from moving away but the younger stood up completely.
“I’m okay.”Jimin said as he laughed at his own misery. “I’ll sleep.. you go and leave me alone.”
“Jimin I..”
“Leave me alone and I ahh.. I’ll take this.. you’re not allowed to be here anymore.” Jimin said as he took the spare key of his apartment from Yoongi’s side. He then turned but stumbled a little. “I’m okay, don’t touch me.” He said and held his hands up to not touch Yoongi. “Stay there.”
Yoongi did what he was told and watched Jimin toss the key on the top dresser. Jimin took his bag and rummaged through his stuff.
The pain on his chest made Jimin’s eyes welled more tears and with his shaky hands he spilled the contents of his bag on the floor. He hunched down right away. Cursing at himself. Calling himself pathetic and weak. “Where.. where is it?”
At the sight of Jimin’s dismay, something in Yoongi’s brain ticked. “He loved me.” “His tears were for me.” Each word echoed in his head.
As Jimin panicked and sobbed, Yoongi fell to his knees. “Jimin. Stop. Just stop.” He begged. He slowly held Jimin’s shoulders to get him to meet his eyes. “Jimin.”
“I’m.. I’m returning.. your.. keys..” Jimin sobbed uncontrollably. Because he knew once he returned the key, it only meant cutting ties with Yoongi. And that after all this, he would no longer be the same person again.
“You don’t have to. Don’t do that.” Yoongi said and cupped Jimin’s chin. “Stop crying please. My heart is aching. It hurts to see you like this Jimin.”
“My heart hurts.. so bad..” Jimin confessed. He did not care anymore. All he wanted was to tell Yoongi everything and get over him completely. Because maybe if he got a clear answer he would finally move on. “Hyung my heart hurts because you don’t love me the way I do.”
Yoongi shook his head and held Jimin dearly. Caging him in his arms. Realizing what Jimin truly felt for him. “Who said hyung doesn’t love you? Who said I do not care? Jimin, who made you believe that I don’t?”
“You.. you did.” Jimin murmured as he embraced Yoongi and hid on his chest. “You made me believe that I am not worthy of your love.”
Yoongi wanted to punch himself. He had been stubborn. The more he fell for Jimin the more he tried to avoid the younger. Always grumpy despite spending time together. Always scolding Jimin from being in his apartment to eat lunch or dinner together. For always barging into his bedroom to use his bed or computer to review or make his project.
Though secretly he watched Jimin each and every time. That in reality he found comfort that Jimin was in his place and not elsewhere that always made him worried. Despite him acting out whenever Jimin would go on dates. The ones he never approved of. Not liking anyone Jimin dated because they were not up to his standards. Well none of them. Even he himself was not enough to someone like Jimin.
The Jimin that he knew to be kind and caring. The Jimin that would tell him the most funniest and embarrassing moments he had done when he was having a shitty day. The Jimin that would bring sunshine to his gloomy day. The Jimin who would cook and look after him when he was sick or too drunk. The Jimin who would even stop on the side walk to feed and pet a stray cat.
The Jimin with pure soul and intention.. but hearing the younger’s confession. Yoongi realized how hard it must have been for Jimin to lie and hide his feelings for him. To pretend to hate what he did and liked. How hard it must have been to keep a straight face when others tried to ask for his number. Or even smile despite his scolding and harsh words to keep him out of his apartment. To pretend to only be with him as a good friend that he was and not expecting a return at all.
The guilt was eating Yoongi up. He held Jimin very dearly. He caressed his back then soothe his hair. “Hyung cares for you. I was wrong for what I did before. I’m sorry baby.”
“Baby?” Jimin looked up to Yoongi. His face was all wet with his tears. His hair was probably so messy that Yoongi kept carding his fingers on it to fix it. His heart raced. His mind was too busy with all the possibilities of hearing things. On what's real or not. “Hyung don’t make me hear things.” He said.
“Baby.” Yoongi repeated. He gave him a small smile. Something to reassure Jimin. And to finally speak his truth this time. “I love you. I have been in love with you. I was just this stupid that I needed time to realize the reasons for your tears. I am sorry Jimin. I’m sorry I am late to share my sober thoughts. I’m sorry I made you cry this much.”
Yoongi kept rumbling but those three words lingered in Jimin’s mind. It was echoing. Everything else that followed was a blur. All he could see was Yoongi talking and talking while his lips twitched to a smile.
Jimin cried again as it hit him. “You said you love..”
“I did yes.” Yoongi said and rounded his arms on Jimin’s waist. He always knew it was tiny but could not help but feel the joy in his chest as he tugged him closer. “Jimin, I love you. Sorry I tried to stop myself. Sorry I pushed you away.”
“Say that again.. please..” Jimin begged as he hid on Yoongi’s neck. Holding him tightly as he let his body lean closer to the older.
“I love you Park Jimin.”
“Again.”
“I love you. I can’t live without you.” Yoongi said.
“For real?”
“Yeah. From this night onwards I will love you freely whether you like it or not. Deal?”
Jimin nodded frantically as he met Yoongi’s gaze but went back to hiding on his neck as he embraced him with so much joy. “I love you Yoongi. I love you so much.”
“I know. I was just too blind to see it.”
Humming as Jimin agreed to what Yoongi said. He pulled away when he wanted to see Yoongi’s face. “You’re sober enough to remember this right?”
The confused look on Yoongi’s made Jimin laugh. “You know this isn’t the first time you said you love me hyung.”
Baffled. Yoongi scratched the back of his neck. “I did last night huh?”
Jimin nodded. Giddy despite being a crying mess a few minutes ago.
“Oh god I’m fucking horrible. That’s why your gaze looked so sad earlier. I hurt you for not remembering. I’m sorry baby. How can I make up for you?”
Jimin’s cheek turned red as he felt the warmth in them. And much more when Yoongi soothed his forearm so gently. He nibbled on his lips a bit. Adamant to speak though had something in mind.
“Tell me.” Yoongi whispered.
“Kiss me.. kiss me like you mean it.”
Yoongi’s gaze darkened. His heart raced and he could feel Jimin was the same. Their bodies were still close to each other and the room became warmer that instance.
“Are.. are you sure?” Yoongi stuttered a bit. Too nervous to do something that Jimin might hate later.
“I am. This is me with my sober thoughts. I want you to make me feel that I am worthy to be loved by you.”
Yoongi hissed. He cupped Jimin’s chin up and leaned close to feel his lips. Jimin gasped in surprise but soon followed Yoongi’s lead. He devoured Jimin’s lips like he had always been dreaming to do.
All this consumed Jimin. It’s too good. It’s too nice. He never kissed anyone he dated. He never touched them. He just went out with them to stop himself from going to Yoongi. He wanted to distract himself from loving Yoongi more and more but obviously he failed so badly.
Because having to kiss Yoongi this way was all he wanted to do for a very long time. He kissed Yoongi back over and over. He pulled him closer and would only spare a second to heave for air then let Yoongi taste every corner of his mouth. No longer caring if he was getting dizzy and his knees were getting weak while those strong arms of Yoongi kept him in place. Kissing him the best way that he could.
Jimin moaned when Yoongi moved down his neck. Trailing kisses as he drew a map. He gasped and arched his back when Yoongi sucked his skin harder. “Oh god.” He squeezed his tights together as he gripped Yoongi's arms. Too aroused at what Yoongi was doing. Not wanting to stop. Wishing not to ever stop this affection. Though Jimin’s eyes snapped open when Yoongi pulled away.
“Shit. I’m sorry.” Yoongi said and rubbed his thumb over Jimin’s skin. It was too late for him to let go since the red bruise was too visible by now.
“It's.. It's fine.” Jimin murmured as he stepped back. Covering the hickey with his hand. All too confused and also doubting their real score since Yoongi had to pull away. “I.. I’m sorry.. I.. maybe..”
“No no no Jiminie.” Yoongi quickly held Jimin’s free hand. Sensing the panic from the younger and knew how he could possibly doubt him. He tugged him gently to get him back to his arms. “I just.. you had been drinking and so am I. I like you too much to do something that we might not be ready for. I’m sorry baby.”
Tears were welling in Jimin’s eyes as he nodded. His pout was too obvious so Yoongi leaned close to kiss him. “Let’s get you to bed so you can rest hmm?”
Jimin hummed but stopped Yoongi from walking away. “You love me right? I am not.. you’re not just saying it because I was crying. Or drunk?”
“No. I have been falling for you Jimin. I was just too coward to admit it to you and myself. I was wrong to keep you waiting. I’m sorry. I thought I was doing us a favor but I was hurting you without knowing. From now on, I’m all yours Park Jimin.”
Jimin smiled a little as he leaned his forehead on Yoongi’s cheek. Rounding back his arms on Yoongi’s shoulders. “I’m in love with you hyung. I want to love you every single day of my life.”
“How lucky am I to have someone so sweet as you Jiminie?” Yoongi said while he held Jimin like he never did before. Embracing him with much love. He took in Jimin’s scent and all the storm in his head was long gone. “How come you bring this much comfort hmm?”
“Because you love me hyung.”
Chuckling a bit. Yoongi agreed right away. Liking every bit of this kind of affection. The shared affection that they both were too afraid to do. Finding all the best ways to avoid such and not create conflict between them. That doing so might put them at risk of losing the bond that they both have.
But that same fear drew them to where they were now. That threat and the possibility of cutting ties would be their last chance to correct their mistakes and to finally confess their truths. Their real feelings. From pulling off the masks that they had been showing off to save what they have. The friendship that they have despite both wanting more.
And that more was now. Being in bed next to each other. Sharing small talks. Engaging to one's interest. Bantering here and there. Laughing and crying. Feeling the feelings that they truly have. Giving and receiving the comfort they both need.
For being friends for more than 3 years. Yoongi and Jimin were finally ready to start a new chapter of their lives. Because a month after their confession, Yoongi requested Jimin to move in with him. And Jimin was never to say no to that. Jimin practically lived in Yoongi’s place anyway. Always have a thing or two of his stuff at Yoongi’s. And more so when they became boyfriends.
Jimin had always been looking for another place to move to. But mainly because of him running away from his feelings for Yoongi. So now, all he ever wanted was to run towards Yoongi and never away from him again.
So with just one box away, Jimin took a last glance at his apartment. He smiled as he thanked the place for being his own safe space for the past 3 years of his life. The one who witnessed his joy and pain. He heaved some air. Wishing that all his decisions moving forward would be the right ones.
Jimin gasped when he felt someone behind him but soon eased up when he recognized his scent.
“Ready baby?” Yoongi asked as he embraced Jimin from behind. “Be with me forever?”
The smile quickly faded, Jimin frowned, confused. Especially when Yoongi moved away so he turned to face him. “Wh-what?”
“Park Jimin, I already talked to your parents. And I talked to mine.. before you move in.. will you please be my fiance? Let’s get married after we graduate.”
“WHAT?!” Jimin did not mean to yell. He did not mean to panic. He did not mean to overthink. But as the seconds passed. His eyes got blurry with his tears. “Yoongi hyung..”
“Jimin?” Yoongi was stunned. Down on one knee. His hands were shaking while holding up the small box. Offering it to Jimin. Not just the ring but his life. “We’ve known each other for 3 years.. if.. if it’s not enough..”
Jimin shook his head. He grabbed Yoongi’s free hand. “You’re not drunk right?” He murmured between his cries. That’s all he wanted to clarify. Hoping for all the ones in heaven to make this all real.
“I am not drunk. I’m completely sober. Not even a drop of alcohol in my system. Just me. The sober me. Please marry me and I promise to love you for the rest of our lives.”
With that assurance. Jimin nodded frantically, he said yes repeatedly. He wanted this to be true. He wanted all this. And kept telling himself that if this was just a dream then he would do everything to make it happen in his reality.
Though despite all those doubts and wishes, all the good ones were true. Yoongi could no longer see himself being with someone other than Jimin. That every waking day of his life was only full of Jimin. And he even got more determined when they had made their relationship official. Because by that he was free to love Jimin and that brought a lot of joy in his heart. And he had seen Jimin the happiest during those times. So he made a promise to himself that everyday he would be the reason for Jimin’s smiles. That the only tears that Jimin would shed would just be tears of joy, nothing less nothing more.
“I love you so much, Park Jimin.”
“I love you too, Min Yoongi.”
Caged into a strong hold, Jimin could only thank his parents for approving Yoongi’s proposal. They have another year in college and having to be engaged was not in his bucket list at all. But what could he do? He loved the guy and would never pass on such an offer.
A lifetime access to Yoongi’s place? A lifetime of love and affection from his longtime secret love? Well, Jimin would always say Yes to that. To everything Yoongi.
And even if Jimin would wake up one day and go back in time, he would still do what he did. To let the man he loved see the real him. And to wait for the other to fall for him naturally than to force himself on him. He would endure it all again. To yearn and to love from afar. But also to care without asking anything in return. Just him loving the only one he saw himself loving for the rest of his life.
With a gentle stroke of his thumb on Jimin’s cheek, Yoongi watched Jimin dearly. “What are you thinking baby?”
“You.” Jimin whispered. “That loving you from afar and caring for you was all worth it.”
“You are too kind. Too precious. Hyung is such a fool to not make a move much sooner.”
“Its all good. This is just the right timing. We’re moving in together. We’re even engaged now. What else could I ask for hmm?”
Yoongi smiled and playfully bopped Jimin’s nose. “There’s more but we have many days to figure it all out together. One step at a time baby.”
“Right. You’re right about that.” Jimin said and giggled happily when he took Yoongi’s hand that was waiting for him to hold.
They walked hand in hand as they went into Yoongi’s apartment. The place they had stayed in for many days together and counting.
Letting their chance be this moment. Knowing what they had missed was something that they would make up for day by day. It's a commitment. A commitment for a lifetime.
To live and to love.
—
🌙The End
—