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“I don’t have an answer for you on that one.” He squinted into the light. The harsh sun glared off the bay.
It was unsettling, Elaine being that quiet.
“There’s…” He tried to think of something comforting to say, something life-affirming. The wind was too cold and the light too bright and life too long. A wave threw itself at the shoreline again, breaking on the rocks. “I’ve got nothing.”
“So that’s it?” Elaine took a step nearer.
He didn’t look over to her.
“There’s a whole big world out there with great big cities and it’s all… the same?”
He shrugged. “Something like that.”
“Then what’s the point? What’s the point of doing all this if it doesn’t get better and there’s nothing out there that can make it better?”
Martin remembered why he’d become a surgeon. It was pretty much to avoid conversations like these. He got enough of the nihilism and existential dread from himself. He didn’t need to parry it from anybody else.
“If I had an answer, you’d just make it into a very special episode of your talk show or web show or whatever it is.”
It got colder right then. And the light got brighter, harsher.
“Yeah.” Her voice broke into something less serious. “Meaning of life. Gotta be quite an audience for that.”
Martin smiled. “You could make a killing.”
She laughed. It was good to hear it. Even if it sounded kind of sad. Still, Martin thought, it was good.
They waited there a while. Winced at the sun and the way the ocean vanished into the horizon line. As if there was nothing past it. Nothing else out there.
Time didn’t break till Elaine sighed. He felt her shift beside him. “What are you gonna do?” she asked.
“Wait for the sunset, I guess.”
“You should do that.” She turned to look at him. He didn’t like being looked at. But he didn’t want to move, or talk, or break the staring competition he was in with the ocean. So he kept standing. She’d walk away soon.
“It’s beautiful,” she said.