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Sidney didn’t look like he’d showered in a week or changed his clothes, either. He was scruffier than XXXX remembered, and more tired, hunched over himself as he stared up at the shelves in the supermarket, but it was definitely him standing there. He didn’t notice when XXXX came up behind him; the only sign that he even knew someone was there at all was how he tensed as XXXX drew nearer, and how he held his breath waiting for him to pass.
XXXX didn’t pass.
He grabbed Sid’s shoulder and turned him around to face him. Sid let out a small eep and looked up. There was horror and wonder written across his face, shock at seeing the man he’d tried to shoot dead now standing in front of him. He had to know that XXXX hadn’t died; the only reason Sid was here now and not rotting away in prison was because it wasn’t a murder, and XXXX hadn’t pressed charges.
He started to scramble for words to explain himself, but all that came out was a hurried mess of words that didn’t work.
Sid ducked his head under XXXX’s arm and ran to the door.
There were a lot of things XXXX thought he’d never do. Revenge never grabbed him or seemed like something that was really worth his time – the only problems worth following were ones that could be solved, and what would revenge do?
But killing someone hadn’t seemed like a good idea, either, until he’d done it. Whether or not it was a good idea afterwards, XXXX didn’t know.
He ran after Sid, tearing out the front door of Tesco and following him around the side of the building. It wasn’t hard to overtake him; XXXX grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back around.
Sid let out some awful cry and tried to wrench his arm away, but XXXX had a tight grip on his arm and wasn’t about to let go. He grabbed Sid’s wrist with his other hand and tried to twist it around, but that only set Sid off further.
Sid wrenched his arm as hard as possible, all but pulling it out of his socket trying to get away. With a final tug XXXX dragged Sid back, this time wrapping an arm around his neck and forcing him down to his knees. He leaned over Sid, holding him still while he struggled. Sid had lost, but that wasn’t enough to stop him from struggling.
It didn’t last long. Abruptly Sid slumped down into XXXX’s arms, all but collapsing down towards the ground.
“Whatever you’re gonna do, just make it quick,” Sid gasped.
“What do you think I’ll do to you?”
“I don’t know,” Sid said.
XXXX waited. There weren’t many people out at this time, and this side of the car park was poorly lit, with very little that might draw anyone’s attention. XXXX had all night if he needed it, but for what? The thought twisted at his gut.
He pulled his arm upwards, burying Sid’s neck in the crook of his arm.
“Try to guess,” XXXX said. His voice was low.
Sid whimpered. “I don’t know, man. Do what you want, just – just don’t drag it out.”
“What do you think I want?”
“You wanna kill me, don’t you?” Sid asked. “Because I – I –.” He choked off, drawing in as much of a breath I could to steady himself.
“Because you tried to kill me,” XXXX finished for him.
He was shaking, positively terrified now, as though that wasn’t obvious from the moment he turned on his heel and ran.
“I know, I know, it weren’t my fault –”
XXXX let go of Sid. Before he could scramble away he grabbed him and pushed him back against the brick wall, holding him there with his forearm.
“Did you think I’d just let you get away with trying to kill me?”
“You didn’t want to press charges and you didn’t seem to be coming for me either, so I thought…”
Sid backed his shoulders against the wall as far as he could away from XXXX, and held his hands out to his side, like those few extra inches between them counted for anything.
“What did you think?”
“Look, mate, I don’t know what I thought – I didn’t think – I just…”
Sid’s breath was coming in short gasps now. He looked down the side of the building, staring out across the vacant car park in search of anything that might help him.
XXXX grabbed him by the chin and forced his head up to face him.
“What did you think?”
“I don’t know!” Sid shouted.
“All of this,” XXXX said. “What you did. Why?”
Sid didn’t answer. He looked around himself wildly, and when he couldn’t find his answer he pushed back against XXXX as hard as he could, burying his nails in XXXX’s shoulders and using as much force as possible to throw him back. Sid threw his whole weight at XXXX and knocked him back a few steps, part from his desperate momentum and part because he managed to catch him off guard.
The shock only lasted a moment before XXXX’s instincts kicked in and he punched back, first clipping Sid in the side and knocking him back against the wall, then landing a hit on Sid’s face.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if Sid hadn’t been so close to the wall, if the punch hadn’t sent his head colliding with the solid bricks. XXXX could see the split second where Sid’s head bounced, and he hear the crack as Sid’s head made contact.
Sid fell in slow motion. Several seconds passed. He lay on the ground, not moving.
XXXX’s breath hitched.
He wanted to say that he’d seen a dead body before. He should know that this was different, and be able to point out all the ways Sid didn’t look dead. He didn’t.
XXXX couldn’t see those differences; all he saw was Jimmy’s body.
The realisation hit him like a bucket of cold water. The empty car park seemed to tip sideways and he took a step away before straightening himself out again. His stomach churned and he could taste bile. This couldn’t be happening again. There was no fucking way murder was this fucking easy.
Sid groaned, his fingers twitching. He pushed himself up on one arm and hung his head for a moment, panting while he caught his breath. Sid coughed a few times, then finally managed to croak something out.
“What did you do to me?”
To his horror XXXX could feel the relief start to wash over him. He made his hand into a fist to stop it from shaking, then loosened his grip – he didn’t bloody well have time for following Sid out here, much less for this. What did he think he’d do, anyway? What the hell came over him when he saw him?
How the hell had he ever thought Sid was a problem even worth bothering with?
“Don’t cause any trouble for me,” XXXX said, well aware that it was he who had knocked Sid out.
Sid looked up at him, and if he had any inclination to point that out to him he had the sense to keep his mouth shut about it. He swallowed, hard, then nodded his head weakly. Just that looked like it was causing him some pain.
“I won’t,” Sid said. “I swear, I won’t say nothing about this, you won’t ever see me again.”
“Good,” XXXX said. “Try to keep it that.”
He backed away a few steps, watching Sid as he sat up on the pavement. Sid leaned against the wall for support and drew his legs up, resting his arms on his bony knees for support as he tried to reorient himself. Whatever happened to him next didn’t matter – he was fine. He was alive. What happened to him next didn’t matter.
Sid looked up at him and for a moment their eyes locked. XXXX’s throat tightened; he hadn’t meant to stick around for that long.
A flash of fear shot through Sid’s face when XXXX didn’t just leave, and so he turned to get the fuck out of there before Sid had the chance to ask any more questions or start begging for his life again.