Chapter Text
"Are you out of your mind!?"
Izuna shrieked. Madara was so sure if he still has his eyes, his brother would've gave him the most incredulous glare he could muster. However the healthy eyeballs now rests inside the older's skull, thrumming with chakra, as he stares at the white cloth covering Izuna's empty eyelids. The sight made him absentmindedly touches the skin under his eye.
But the Uchiha heir wasn't done. He shakily got up from his futon, just to grab Madara by the shoulders. "Nii-san, how could you let the Elders demanded that!?"
"I didn't let them do anything!" This time, Madara felt the need to defend himself. "The only reason I agreed with the Elders is because I know Hashirama wouldn't agree with it!"
"You don't know that," Izuna sounds desperate as he let go of his brother. "If they agree, Nii-san... "
"They won't," Tajima, who watched his sons' quarrel in tired silence, finally spoke up. "Senju Tobirama is too precious and useful for them. This... peace might not be so worth it for them, as much as it is for us."
Izuna drew a shaky breath as he lowers himself back to the futon. He tilts his head to the direction of Tajima's voice, mouth curved in disappointment and worry. "It was a fair fight, Father. I've accepted my losses, and the fact that he's stronger than me. If they actually agree... "
Madara didn't wait for Izuna to finish his sentence. He slammed the shoji door on his way out of his brother's room, fire-sun-volcanic chakra bristling with irritation. Ever since he took over the Clan Head position from his father, his days has been filled with nothing but nuances, constant headache now accompanied his every step. And the main source of his grievances? The Clan Elders.
When he was little, he used to wonder why his father seemed to be powerless against those old people despite being a literal Clan Head. Even now, he still doesn't quite understand why should he values their opinions more, though he always bends to their every will in the end. It's exhausting. He wonders if Hashirama is also facing the same problem.
The tought of Hashirama stops him in his tracks. He decided to plops himself on the engawa overlooking the koi pond, resting his chin on one knuckle.
Senju Tobirama struck Izuna with a crippling blow in a battlefield around six weeks ago; Madara received Izuna's eyes after their Medic determined that his brother wouldn't be able to fight anymore. Then come a peace treaty from the Senju. And after nights of debates and unpleasant conversations among themselves, the Uchiha Clan decided to have a try on the peace talk. With some simple demands, of course.
Simple, my ass, Madara thought bitterly. The look on the Senjus' face when he read their demands...
These past few weeks, especially after the first peace talk, Madara had poured his thought on a certain albino Senju. He come to a realization that he doesn't necessarily hate the man. Disliked, sure, resented, absolutely. However Izuna was(is) right; it was a fair fight, they were in the middle of a war, either kill or be killed. He even feel grateful that the Senju chose to maimed instead of delivering a lethal attack, considering the abilities he saw that day in the middle of their battlefield. It showed calculated restraints on his part.
During the peace talk, Madara had pay even closer attention to Senju Tobirama. He had expected outright refusal or even hostility towards their admittedly ridiculous demand, but he didn't expect the Senju heir to look so... resigned. Other Senjus, especially the woman with a naginata, had immediately hurled insults and threats his way. Uzumaki Mito narrowed her eyes dangerously behind her fan. Even Hashirama were enraged.
But Tobirama? He simply sighed and looked down to his notes. Madara still isn't sure if the man just accepted it or he simply didn't care. Either way both speculations were equally harrowing. Surely he has an opinion regarding his own future? The albino had seemed annoyed of all things, as if he just ran out of ink, instead of his entire life being put on a fragile bargain.
There's also something about him... something he can't quite name. Among his clan, Tobirama looked like he didn't belonged, like a ghost floating among living things. Their eyes only ever met once the entire time, despite Madara deliberately staring at him; and at that moment, weary red eyes, red like his prided Sharingan, drilled into his head. The sight stunned the older man, but Tobirama had quickly narrowed his eyes. He never raised his head again for the remaining duration of the peace talk.
Those eyes... Somehow intrigued Madara. And it's weird considering the albino had always been right there, but it was as if Madara had only saw him for the first time that day. Finally saw him. Tobirama had always been a constant presence in his life right after he knew Hashirama, but Madara always dismissed him as unimportant, like fleeting crystal snow in winter. But then he materialized in Madara's new sight, from his hair, pale like the moon, to the red tattoos that lined his face. Madara also noticed how his slender fingers curled around a brush and the elegant handwriting on his notes. Those were things that doesn't belong to a 'demon'.
What kind of person are you, Senju Tobirama? Madara quietly muses. If I can get close enough, what will I see?
With a chuckle, Madara shakes his head. Doesn't matter. The Senju Heir is still at fault for Izuna's injuries. Though he didn't exactly agree with the Elders proposal, he still thinks Tobirama deserves to be punished. And when inevitably Hashirama refuses their demands, he'd bargain down.
Easy.
But somehow, his beating heart disagrees, anxiety hums in the back of his head.
...
--With this, we, the Uchiha Clan demands that the White Demon of Senju be stripped out of his position and power. We further demands for Senju Tobirama's chakra be sealed and thus ending his carrier as a shinobi.
It sure was fair, he supposed, an heir for an heir.
Tobirama has been staring at the proposal for the past hour. He can hear muffled voices coming from Hashirama's office; Touka's increasingly impatient argument, Mito's quiet but firm refusal, and of course his Anija's frustrated whispers.
He remembered that day. He never showed his Hiraishin to anyone. That day, that battlefield, was the very first time he had use the technique to actually hurt someone. And honestly? Yes, he had created that jutsu to counter the Sharingan. He knew he would've used it on Izuna, eventually. He knew Izuna wouldn't be able to win against him by then. It was a conscious choice on his part; he had mulled over the consequences of finally putting an end on their 'rivalry', the possibilities of inviting Madara's rage on himself included. And he had prepared for whatever the Uchiha patriarch might throw at him.
However he also weighed in Hashirama and his peace. The only thing Hashirama has ever wanted, a chance of peace with his supposedly best friend.
He wouldn't pretend like he knew Uchiha Madara, but if he knew one thing about the man, is that he absolutely loves his younger brother. Therefore he knew peace would be impossible if he killed Izuna. And with that, Hashirama's dream would die. He can't do that to his Anija.
For most of his life, Butsuma had drilled into his head the importance of putting Hashirama first. He was the older brother, the heir, the one with Mokuton. Obviously Tobirama loves his last living brother, even if he knew he would never be the first in the list of Hashirama's affection. He had learned to give without taking, to stay in the shadows while his brother basked in the light, to stay silent and let his Anija talk. He has no qualms against it.
The realization that he would never come first hit like a brick, but he smothered the doubts and hurts, throwing himself into various tasks, missions, and researches instead. Whatever it needed for his Anija's happiness. That is, unfortunately, including dying.
But instead of asking for his life, the Uchiha demanded his identity. And that scares him more than he cares to admit. Because who is Senju Tobirama if he isn't a shinobi? Who is Senju Tobirama if he isn't a formidable Suiton user or a remarkable Sensor? What use would he be if he isn't himself? Surely the clan will be glad to be finally rid of him. He knows some of them, especially the Elders, aren't particularly fond of him.
Maybe this is their goal. Without Tobirama, Senju Clan would be experiencing a significant loss. Now he ponders if it actually worth it, crippling Izuna, instead of killing him.
Tobirama sighs and lean back on his chair, fingers pressing the bridge of his nose. There's so many scenarios running across his head right now. So many possibilities, so many alternatives. What if, what if, what if. He knows he should be doing something about the problems in hand. He's the strategist, he should already have a solution by now. He can't afford to let Hashirama down.
There's a knock, and before he could answer, Hashirama already slids the door open and steps inside. His eyes are rimmed red, but he smiles at his brother, albeit looking all tired. "Hey, Tobi." He greets without his usual cheerful demeanor.
"Good evening, Anija."
Hashirama crosses the room slowly, then lowers himself to the chair in front of his brother. Between them is their strategy table, covered with maps of the Elemental Nations, figures of different clan banners, and various papers. There's ink smudge everywhere. He glances briefly at the particular scroll in front of Tobirama, the one with the Uchiwa stamp in the corner. Instantly he feels his chest tightens.
"... Why did you do that, Tobi?"
Following the question, Tobirama sighs again, running his hand down his face. He stares at the ceiling, refusing to meet his Anija's eyes. "I'm tired, is all."
Silences stretches between the brothers. This is actually the first time they addressed the 'incident'; the day it happened, Hashirama had pulled his brother by the straps of his armor, and shook and screamed on his face, asking why. But the albino refused to answer. He simply gave Hashirama a blank look, until Mito pulled her husband away. No one speaks to Tobirama again for days after that, except Touka. Half of the clan either looked at him with contempt or disgust, while the other half pretended he doesn't exist.
"Look, Anija," Tobirama decided to break the ice, leaning closely and stares Hashirama straight in the eyes. "We've been at this war for so long, no one even remember why we're at war in the first place. I did what I did to put a stop on it. Either by peace, or by subduing the Uchihas by all means necessary. Without Izuna, we'd have the upper hand."
(A lie, obviously. He knew, even with Izuna, the Uchihas still has nothing on their clan. They're fortunate enough that Hashirama is a pacifist.)
When Hashirama just stares back at him with a pinch expression, he continues. "You want peace, Anija. I'm giving you a start."
"A start?" Hashirama sounds exasperated. "By hurting Izuna, Madara's last living brother?"
Tobirama holds his gaze. "By all means necessary, Anija."
Hashirama presses his lips in a tight line before burying his face in his hands. Tobirama's eyes soften at the sight, ignoring the screaming voices inside his head. He's fully aware of the weight of decision on his chest.
He smiles softly at his brother, tilting his head to the side. "Don't worry, Anija. I'll do it."
With that, Hashirama shot up so fast, his chair fall backwards and hit the floor with a loud crack. He glares at Tobirama in disbelief, hands shaking besides him. His brother meet his eyes with calculated indifference, a tiny smile full of reassurance directed at him.
"How could you!" He bellowed. "I will not let--"
"I assure you, Anija, I can still be a use for you even as a civilian," Tobirama interjects. "As for an heir, Aneue is currently with a child, so--"
Before the younger man can finish his sentences, Hashirama's fist collides with the table. Papers, figures, and wood splinters fly at all directions. Tobirama flinches, not at the debris, but for the look on Hashirama's face. There's tears in Hashirama's eyes; but more than that, his mouth twists into pure desperation, the rage behind his hazel orbs is something he has never seen before. Tobirama's heart caught in his throat at the sight.
Hashirama rounded the table to pull Tobirama to his feet, pulling his brother closer by the shoulders. He's truly crying now, violent sobs wrecking his body, but his grip on his brother only tightens. And before Tobirama could speak, Hashirama already enclosed him in an embrace.
At first, Tobirama hands are frozen at his sides, but he slowly bring them up to return the gesture. He nuzzles on the crook of his brother's neck. "I'm sorry, Anija. I just--"
"Shut up, Tobi, let me just hold you."
And so they stay holding onto each other for a few moments, as Hashirama's breath become lighter and calmer. It has been rare for them to have moments like this for themselves. Tobirama secretly loves and cherishes his brother's affectionate embraces, basking in his Anija's scent of pine, rain, and medicinal herbs. He closes his eyes and inhales, as his nose buries deep in Hashirama's silky brown hair.
"I'm sorry, Anija," he starts carefully without loosening his embrace. "I will not ask you to understand the reasoning behind my action, but I need you to trust me. I'll be okay. I promise."
Hashirama exhales sharply before he let go Tobirama. He takes one of his brother's hand, feeling calloused fingers and scars that litters his rough palm, admiring their strength and steady grip on everything. Including life. Especially their lives. When he steals a glance at Tobirama's face, his rubies are staring at their intertwined fingers. His bangs, longer now that they're not constantly at war, casts a shadow over his tired eyes. He feels his own Mokuton squeezes his beating heart.
"How low do you think of me that I'd just agree? You're my brother... my last brother." He sniffs. "I don't know what to do without you, Otouto."
"I'll live," Tobirama shrugs, as if his eyes doesn't sting at his brother's claim. "I'll stay with you. I'll still have my brain. If I need help for my researches, I can always ask for it."
A few beat passes.
"No, Tobi."
"No?"
"No." Hashirama repeats with more resolve than before. "I will not cave into Madara's demands. Mito and I, we were discussing about ways to help Izuna. If we can heal him, the Uchiha Clan might retract their proposal. We will have our peace."
When Tobirama refuses to answer and avoids his gaze instead, Hashirama brings a hand to touch his chin and tilts his head up, making sure his brother can see the clear resolution in his eyes. "Everything will be okay, Otouto. I promise. Anija will take care of everything." He forces a smile. "What about that, hmm?"
Despite doubts still lingers in his mind, Tobirama's shoulders shags a little. He returns his brother's smile. "I think... we can give it a try, Anija."
Except he knew it won't work
Of course Hashirama wouldn't agree, Tobirama thought bitterly after his brother left. He follows shortly after, just to a different direction.
He shut the shoji door before crumpling behind it, in the comfort of his laboratory, the only safe space he ever knows. The place smells like the mix of disinfectant and formaldehyde, but it's his. Butsuma never step foot inside it. Most of his clansmen avoid it like the source of plague.
Hashirama was right, he muses, staring at the ceiling from his place on the floor. He didn't, never meant to hurt or insult his brother. He knew Hashirama loves him, he never doubted it, but his Anija's voice keep echoing inside his head. All of his life, he always hold his brother in the highest regard. Hashirama was never low in his eyes, no matter how he whined, or complained, or cried. Even clingy Hashirama is special for him.
Flashes of clingy Hashirama throws Tobirama into a fit of giggles. He can't help it; even as tears starts to fall, even as he feels like screaming, the way his brother latched onto people always brings joy into his heart. So he just curls himself there, torns between crying or laughing.
After what feels like days, his madness finally ceases. He absentmindedly stares at various ink seals on the shelves.
What if
What if
What if
What if it will be easier to beg for forgiveness instead of asking for permission?
...
"He truly would do anything for his brother, huh?"
"You can thanked the late Clan Head for that."
...
"He doesn't trust me," Hashirama sobs, trying to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his haori. "You should've seen the way he looked at me, he doesn't trust me-- he--"
"Yes, he does," Mito gently corrects him him, stopping him mid sentence, dabbing his cheeks with a handkerchief. "If anything, Tobi loves you so much, Anata."
That only make Hashirama's state of mind worsen. He nearly folds into himself if Mito isn't currently holding him up by the shoulders, big, ugly sobs tearing out of him. "I never doubted how much he loves me! I know he loves me, as much as I love him! But he doesn't trust me! He doesn't trust that I can, and will protect him!"
His voice lowers into a whisper as Mito pulls him into her shoulder. "I did such a horrible job as his Anija, My Love. When... " He hiccups. "When Madara told us his demands, he just took it. The look in his eyes... He had fully prepared for me to actually agree."
For once, Mito has nothing to say, because it's true. Hashirama, Touka, and herself had immediately jumped into his defenses during that accursed peace talk, but Tobirama had just accepted it. If she remembered right, he just sighed. And he looked so, so exhausted, like life had truly wrung him out. He looked like he'd crawl into a grave with the intention of never coming out. She admits it worries her.
"He regards me so low, isn't he, Mito?"
"No, no, he doesn't," Mito automatically replies. "He just wanted to make things easier for us, I think. Unfortunately, sacrificing himself... is the only way he knew how."
In truth, Mito knows the actual, real reason why Tobirama changed the course of war drastically.
Senju and Uchiha, both were at war for so long with still no outcome in sight, while grief and sorrow stacks higher. The Elders had hoped Hashirama could finally put the Uchiha in their place when they learned he had mastered the Mokuton. It came as a shock for them not only did Hashirama refused to kill, but he also befriended an Uchiha. The one that now holds the Cland Head title no less. It frustrated those old bastards, and with Hashirama's unflinching determination, they turned to the 'cursed' second son as their punching bag.
It isn't an exaggeration to say that the Elders had broke Tobirama long before Mito married into the Clan. He could've had everything with his brain and resolves; and while Mito never doubted his confidence, he's also loyal to a fault, always putting others before him. Tobirama just wanted to protect everyone, even if he has to put his life on the line.
And before he struck Izuna, Mito told him she is pregnant.
...
Touka was on her way to breakfast in the main house when she heard it.
Scream, blood-curdling scream. That belongs to Hashirama. Coming from Tobirama's lab.
She and Mito barely exchanged a glance before they bolted to the outskirt of their compound. When they arrived, nothing seemed to be amiss, except the front door is wide open. There's frantic crying coming from inside-- Hashirama's babbling of Anija can fix this, don't worry in between sobs, sounding desperate, nothing like she ever heard before. She feels cold dread creeping up her spine.
It's Mito who move first. She walks up the steps carefully, planting her hand on the door frame. One look inside make her gasps and nearly stumbles backwards, a hand flies to cover her mouth. But despite that, the red haired recovers fast, scrambling in her robes to enter the room. She fusses loudly, distraught, asking Hashirama whathappenedwhatswronghowcouldthishappenhashiramatalktome-- But received no answer. The sheer terror and emergency in her voice sends Touka into a near panic attack, chest heaving.
She decides to follow the Uzushio Princess, bracing herself for the absolute worst case scenario. Her heart hammers in her chest as she peeks at the door. The first thing that hit her is the metallic scent of blood; follows by wrecked furniture, scattered ink bottles, and a huge, faded seal on the floor. Hashirama is slumped in the middle of it with Tobirama in his arms, rocking back and fort, still mumbling incoherently. Mito is desperately trying to yanks Tobirama out of her husband's arms, but Hashirama wouldn't budge.
"... Hashirama?" Touka carefully take a step inside, mindful of shattered glass on the floor. A lump clogs her throat. "Mito, what happened? Is he...?"
Alive, she wanted to say. But dead also ghosts her tongue.
The matriarch answers with a slight shake of her head, eyes glittering. She then focuses to her husband. "Anata, please let him go. I need to know what is wrong with him..." When her pleas fall on deaf ear, she starts to cry. "Hashirama, please... We need to help him. We need to help our Otouto."
Touka seethes. She hates this feeling of frustrations; so she stomps forward and slaps Hashirama across the face, as hard she can. "Wake up, you asshole!"
The slap has slow effect on Hashirama. His eyes only clears a few seconds later, as he lifts his face from where he buried them in Tobirama's blood stained hair. At first his eyes met Touka's, who still looms over him. Then he found Mito, who cries in all earnest now, cradling Tobirama's hand to her chest. At last he lowers his eyes, to the unconscious form in his arms. His brother. His last living brother. The realization hit him hard in the chest.
"No... Mito, he's... I..."
"Anata," Mito tries to pry her brother-in-law out of Hashirama's arms again. Touka throws herself to the floor to help, hands shaking. "Please, let us have a look on Tobi. Please, Anata, let him go."
Hashirama finally listens, but he doesn't let go. Instead, he lowers Tobirama to the floor, so careful as if his brother is made of glass. And as soon as Tobirama lays flat on his back, the married couple's hands immediately glows green. They hovers over him without exchanging more words or looks, faces grim.
Only then Touka sees some of Tobirama's injuries. There's blood coming out of the corner of his mouth, nose, and ears. But what shocks her is the matching injuries in both of his wrists; deep, clean cut, as if someone dragged a newly sharpen kunai down his hands. Mito concentrates there, face pale with worry. Touka doesn't like the implication of those wounds.
"Did he--" She stops, couldn't let herself say it out loud, instead using both hands to cover her mouth. There's bile in her throat, her stomach churns at the amount of blood scatters around the giant faded seal. Just what did her younger cousin had attempted to do exactly...? Because Tobirama wouldn't... He wouldn't...
"He lost a significant amount of blood," Mito mumbles to no one in particular, using her skirt as a makeshift tourniquet. "Tobirama, why...? Why did you do this...?"
The Uchihas' demands. Of course.
Touka wants to scream. The stupid, self-sacrificing idiot. She shifts closer to Tobirama's head, bends her upper body over her youngest cousin, just so she can runs her fingers across his hair. Her tears hit Tobirama's forehead as she whispers prayers for him.
"Please... Gods, please... Don't take him away..."
...
("You know what to do, don't you, Tobirama? For the sake of your brother's children."
"... Yes, Honorable Elder.")