Chapter Text
“As you wish… Mischa Bachinski. born August 18. Leo. The sign of Aggression.” The Amazing Karnak said, announcing the survivor of the freak accident on the Cyclone roller coaster.
“what? no… i don’t need this… someone else needs this-” Mischa didn’t understand why it would be him that was selected to go back to his life. Some of the others had fought so hard, they all deserved to live out their lives. They were so young to have it all ripped away in a freak accident like that. It wasn’t fair for this to happen to them, and it really wasn’t fucking fair that only one of them got to go back to their life.
He didn’t deserve this. He had prepared himself to stay dead, to stay here, with the rest of the choir, with Noel. He found himself wandering towards the other boy, who was watching him with so much happiness in his eyes, like he was grateful that Mischa got to go back, but Mischa didn’t feel the same, even though he knew he should’ve.
He could’ve sworn he was frozen in place, not knowing how to react, before Noel began to speak. “You get to go back. Go to Talia, to music, to life. Be happy, Mischa. Live a good life for me, okay?”
“But, I can't leave.” Mischa’s voice got quiet. “I can’t go back without you”
“What about Talia?”
“I don’t need her the same way,” Mischa didn’t know how to explain this feeling, not in any language. He could only think of one word that even began to describe it, but the thought of saying it aloud had terrified him since the second he realized he harbored those feelings for Noel.
“but you love her.”
“I love you.”
The room seemed so much quieter after his confession. He didn’t know what drove him to confess so suddenly, he’d been able to hide it for this long after all. But something inside him couldn’t bear to lose Noel like this.
“It’s time, Mischa.” Karnak spoke through the silence.
“No. Please, pick someone else, I can't go. I don’t want to. I don’t even deserve it-” Mischa felt like he was begging for his life, even though he knew it was the opposite. This was a stupid decision, to try and stay dead, he knew that, but he didn’t know what else to do. All he knew was that he couldn’t leave. “It’s not fair...”
Karnak spoke up again, “The decision has already been made. Please, say your final goodbyes.”
“But-“
“Time is pressing, Mischa. Say goodbye.”
Mischa knew he had to follow Karnak's instructions, but he didn’t know how to make himself do it. He didn’t know how to say goodbye to someone he loved with his entire heart. He didn’t even know how to articulate just how deeply he loved Noel; he just felt it. It ran so deeply in his veins that it touched his soul. He missed him already.
He felt a pair of arms wrap around him, holding him tight. “I love you too. So much. Goodbye, Mischa.”
and before he even registered what was happening, he was thrust into a long tunnel of light.