Work Text:
"Let's grab a drink?"
I blinked once. Twice. Thrice, then reread the message Lorelei just sent me. I even mouthed the text word-for-word just to make sure we were on the same page.
Only when the words on my phone screen didn't warp into something else after my fourth blink was I sure that I wasn't hallucinating nor was my brain making things up.
Lorelei wants to have a drink with me.
A list of questions immediately popped up in my head and I started sifting through them one-by-one.
She really wants to drink? I mean, she's an adult aged twenty-eight so she is permitted by law. And it’s a Saturday night.
Maybe she just wants to unwind? Probable. But alcohol isn’t her preferred drink for such an agenda, so I doubt she's doing this for the sake of joyous fun. I can confidently scratch 'unwinding' off the list.
And she wants to drink with me? This was the greatest puzzle, given my reputation as a lightweight. The outlier I couldn't help but ponder over.
Lorelei:
Are you coming or not?
My eyes darted to the clock on my bedroom wall. It's ten in the evening. Despite our differences in lifestyle, we shared one thing — our social energies were often well-spent around this time of night.
So what was she even thinking, going out alone and staying at some rooftop bar at this hour?
You:
Now?
Lorelei:
If you’re free.
Lorelei:
And if you want.
Lorelei:
I’ll pay! :)
Lorelei:
Hello?
Lorelei:
?
Lorelei:
I'm inviting Luthor.
You:
Address.
So much for catching up on rest. Palagi pa namang bilin ng babaeng ‘yon ang matulog ako nang maaga. How does she expect me to do that if she keeps on pulling stunts like this? Not that I'd turn her down. Admittedly, I enjoy her company more than that of Hypnos. We’re friends, after all.
But why would she even opt to drink with my brother? I don’t think they’ve reached that level of friendship… yet. If she's looking for a Mendez to drink with, mas close pa rin kami.
This strange woman.
Changing into the first decent thing I can grab, I dragged myself out into the street and hailed a taxi to the address she sent.
This frustrating woman. Regardless of our familiarity, the fact remains that she is insane.
If only she didn't look so alluring from behind, sipping a cocktail in a cerulean dress with her legs crossed. Her earrings and heels were in the same shade of silver that glistened against the warm table lamp, while her loose curls were draped carefully on her right shoulder.
"Is this some weird party for one?" I perched onto the stool beside her, fixing the collar of my fleece zip-up. “What brings you here alone?”
"Huh? Oh, the engagement party!" Lorelei said with a strange high-pitched squeak. “That ended 30 minutes ago. Hey, do you want one? It's actually not so bad!”
She pointed at her blood-tinted beverage with a perky grin. Definitely alcoholic.
“It’s just a martini!” she defended. “No harm in such.”
"If I get drunk, who's gonna drive you home? Baka isa lang ang kaya ko.”
"Good point."
She suddenly picked up the cherry floating on the surface of her drink and handed it to me. "But at least have this."
I raised a brow. “You’re giving me your cocktail garnish?”
"I know! I’m sorry it's not a strawberry but it will have to do," she shrugged. "I was saving it for you as thanks for joining me here."
“I don’t—”
Before I could retort, Lorelei pushed the cherry past my lips and into my mouth. My back stiffened in surprise, feeling the chill of the rooftop air down my spine. Lorelei stared at my face, almost scientifically, analyzing the way I chewed the fruit before pulling out the stem of her own accord.
I spit the seeds onto a nearby napkin, wiping the liquid trail on my lips as I did so.
I let out a cough, forcing the remaining shock out of my system. It was as if the last five seconds created such a huge void in my brain, taking a few moments to repair so I could remember what I wanted to say.
Seriously, what the hell is she doing?
"You still haven't answered me, though," I asked again nang matauhan ako ulit. "Something’s bothering you, no?"
"I told you," she started with a pensive smile, "I went to an engagement party."
"So?"
She sipped from her glass, as if to garner some courage before speaking. She glanced at me and giggled a little. "I got jealous."
How intriguing.
"Pray, clarify." I urged, crossing my arms.
"I mean…” Lorelei was now looking distraught, turning her stool to face me and sigh. “I'm 28! ‘Yung bride-to-be doon na colleague ko, 25 pa lang! Why is she getting married before me? Unfair!"
I see. I smirked in amusement. "So the career-minded Lorelei Rios finally wants romance in her life?"
"Bukas mo na ako asarin," she warned with a glare. "Let me be just this once."
"Okay, continue." I propped my head on my palm and leaned on the bar.
"Malapit na akong trentahin," she spoke in a more disappointed tone. "But I still don't have a love life! I've never had a boyfriend, never went on an actual date, never had my first kiss, never got engaged, never got married—"
I couldn’t help but chuckle, earning a curious glare from her.
"Stop laughing at my misery." She rolled her eyes and took another sip. "Napakabuti mo namang kaibigan."
"I'm not laughing at your misery. I'm laughing at your forgetfulness."
"Excuse me?"
"Have you forgotten? I'm your first boyfriend, Lorelei."
She nearly spat out her drink so I offered her a tissue.
"Excuse me?!" she asked with much more vigor than last time. She sounded sober, almost.
"Albeit pretend," I added. "Remember when Al first came to Pampanga?"
She looked to the side, searching through her brain's archives for that ten-year-old memory. "Oh... Right..."
Unbelievable. How could she just toss that anecdote away like it was nothing? First date ko rin ‘yon.
"But that doesn't count!" she blurted out. "Acting lang 'yun because of... unexpected circumstances! Technically, I've still never had one. Tsaka ako 'yung nag-invite sa'yo rito so stop cutting me off! Let me finish."
"Fine. Go on," I urged her to speak more. "I'm listening."
"It's just... I don't know? I feel like I'm missing out on so much? I'm already at this age, but do I know what non-platonic love feels like? No, I don't. I mean don’t get me wrong! I appreciate you and our other friends—”
“Appreciated.”
“Sabing patapusin mo muna ako, ‘di ba?!” she cried, whacking my shoulder. “Nakakapikon ka na, ah.”
“It makes me feel out of place... I think,” Lorelei continued with a whine. “Like everyone around me is getting married and all that but do I even have the slightest bit of a lover? No, I don't."
"And the huge number of people who keep asking me kung kailan ba ako ikakasal isn't even helping," she continued ranting. "Like everyone expects me to get married soon otherwise tatanda raw akong dalaga at mamamatay akong mag-isa. Grabe naman sila sa mag-isa! I won’t be alone naman! Andyan naman kayo, ah! Andyan ka rin naman.”
I performed a sharp inhale.
“And! And…” she paused, debating whether her next set of words were worth vocalizing. “Gusto ko rin namang ikasal. Gusto ko ring kiligin! I want to have a lover! I want to get married! I want to start a family! Why are they rubbing salt on the wound?! Kasalanan ko bang walang gustong mag-propose?! Stop slapping the fact that I'm single to my face! Oh my god, I feel sick."
"Literally or figuratively?" I asked. "Because if you need to puke..."
"I am not vomiting in this public space,” she declared.
"Okay," I nodded. "But if you do need to puke, I beg you to tell me."
Lorelei raised a brow. "Ganyan ba kahina ang tingin mo sa 'kin, Loki? Juice lang 'to na sosyal. I'll be fine."
"Nasabi ko na 'yan. I threw up in Alistair's car."
Instead of rolling her eyes like I expected her to, Lorelei looked at me for a while. There’s a gentle curiosity to her gaze that could make any person feel small. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched her study every bit of my face, tilting her head to the side.
"You're single, right?" Lorelei suddenly asked, scooting her stool closer to mine.
“Obviously.” I leaned back to accommodate her sudden boldness. I tried to look away but glanced down at her by reflex. My breath hitched.
Lorelei looked at me with a smile, pushing the ache in my chest further down. There was a twinkle in her eyes and a faint blush on her cheeks that wracked my nerves.
"If you're still single by age 30," she leaned forward and asked, "would you agree to marrying me?"
Again, insane.
"Okay, that's it." I stood up and grabbed her arm. "You're drunk. Let's go home."
"Nooo!" she wailed, taking my grip off her sleeve. She raised her glass again. "I'm not drunk! Tipsy, but I'm not drunk! There's a difference, Loki. Would you even know? You're a lightweight so I don't think you would. Teka, ubusin ko muna 'to! Masarap, eh!"
"Kailan ka pa nasarapan sa alcohol?" I furrowed my eyebrows and sat back down on my stool because she pulled me back down. For someone so petite, Lorelei was strangely strong.
"Ngayon lang," she giggled. "It's sweet! 'Diba you have a sweet tooth din? Same tayo! I think you'll like this. I'll order you one!"
She was about to call the bartender when I tugged her arm down. Nalungkot pa siya nang i-turn down ko 'yung offer niya. She pouted and drew circles around the rim of her glass na para bang bata.
When she finished her drink, I paid for it in secret and hauled her up. "Come on, let's go."
"To where? Home? It's so early pa!" she furrowed her eyebrows and resisted. The alcohol just made her sound even more — what's the term again? — conyo than she already is when sober.
"It's almost eleven, Lori."
Eleven in the evening. That's her usual bedtime when she doesn't have extra work to do… which I assume she doesn't because otherwise, why would she be here? She reluctantly stood up and followed me back to the parking lot.
"Huwag mo nga 'kong hatakin! Ikaw kaya 'yung mag-heels buong gabi?!" she complained while we walked to her car.
"Get in, Lori.”
I opened the shotgun seat for her and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. Ang daldal niya. Hindi ako sanay.
Papasok na sana siya when she suddenly paused and frowned at me. "This is my car. Why am I taking the passenger seat?"
"Do you want to get arrested? No way in hell you're driving in that state," I pointed at her. And why is she even asking? She's the one who gave me her keys a minute ago.
"I'm not drunk! I'm perfectly fine!"
"Whatever you say," I ignored her and took the driver's seat. Buti na rin siguro na she convinced me to learn how to drive. I got my driver's license last month.
"My gosh, ikaw pa ‘yung magda-drive…" she whispered with her eyes shut, head against the window. “Ayoko pa namang mamatay…”
Lorelei's car smelled of lavender freshener and her signature perfume. Fortunately, her condo was just 15 minutes away so I didn't have to deal with entertaining Lorelei for so long.
"Why is this empty?" She raised her hand and pointed at her ring finger. "I want a ring. You know what? My mom's engagement ring had a sapphire on it. It’s really pretty! I still have it kasi pamana niya ‘yon sa ‘kin. It’s sapphire so it’s blue. I like blue. And yellow! But I like sapphires more than topazes. Kilala mo ba ‘yung Tiffany and Co.? I don’t think may branch sila dito sa Clark, but it’s okay because the Swarovski ones look better! Are you still listening to me?"
I sighed, left hand still tight on the wheel. It was still a red light. "Your mom's engagement ring. Sapphires and Swarovski. What else?"
I turned my head to Lorelei's direction... and saw her looking at me already.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked my suddenly silent companion. Her eyes had that twinkle of mischief in them again.
"You really are listening,” she breathed out loudly. “Akala ko na-bore ka na sa 'kin."
I arched my brow. "What makes you think that?"
"I don't know. I'm pretty sure you don't care about jewelry. And romance. Wala ka namang pake tungkol sa — anong tawag mo doon in high school? — pesky little thing na 'yan." She shrugged, letting out an innocent giggle.
"Buti nalang at may pake ka sa 'kin, 'no?" Lorelei added, tilting her head with a smile.
God, what's taking the green light so long?
"Oh? Loki, we're home," she muttered nang makita niya na ang kanyang condo building. I parked the car in the basement and opened the car door.
"Can you walk?" I asked, assessing her state from head to toe.
She nodded with her eyes closed. "Yes, I ca—"
"No, you can't,” I declared.
She flinched, taken aback. "Oh, bakit naman?!"
"Your feet."
"My feet?" She raised a brow and looked down. "Oh, these are just blisters! I get them whenever I wear a new pair of heels. These ones are new! Cute, right?"
"Do they hurt?" I asked again. My primary concern was her feet, not her shoes.
She pouted. "I'm fine! I think. Oh my god, I don't know. I'm sad. My head hurts. I want to sleep."
I looked at her for a few moments before making my next move. A solution popped up in my mind, but I dismissed it whe—
She yawned.
"Go ahead and sleep," I told her as I carried her into my arms, hanging the strap of her purse between my fingers. Lorelei's eyes went wide for a split-second, surprised by the sudden sensation of her feet in the air, but then she quickly relaxed and closed her eyes. Inaantok na ata talaga.
"Thank you," she whispered, smiling gently and leaning her head against my chest. "Ang swerte ko sa 'yo, 'no?"
Truly, absolutely, maddeningly irredeemable.
It wasn't long before we reached her unit on the 3rd floor. I navigated her living quarters with ease since I wasn’t a stranger to the space. Snowball, her cat, meowed upon the sight of us.
"Your mom is sleeping," I hushed her pet. Snowball must have understood since she immediately curled back up against the scratch post.
I opened the door to her room and gently placed her on the bed. I took off her earrings and put them on the bedside table. I placed her bag on the desk by the window. Nandoon pa ‘yung laptop niya, along with a bunch of loose papers I left untouched.
My eyes wandered around her workspace until it landed on a certain wooden picture frame. It was a picture of us in blue togas with Alistair and Jamie. Right… Our senior high graduation day. Sinubukan niya ‘yong gawin nang palihim, in silence to not bother anyone, but she cried her eyes out nevertheless.
She’s still the same. She still wears her heart on her sleeve.
I found a cotton pad on her vanity table and soaked it with what seemed to be a cleanser. My mom used the same kind, so it was easy to tell what it was for. I drew circles on her face with the cotton pad, connecting her features in my head.
Even in terms of appearance, she’s still the same. Head-turner, as she has always been, although her profile is now on the mature side. It just hit me how much time has passed since we’ve first met — so much so that she’s learned to jest with me.
"Are you awake?" I asked in a hushed tone when she groaned a little. It was thirty minutes to midnight already but here I still was.
"Water..." she muttered. I quickly stood up and rushed to the kitchen to get her a glass. She took a sip and laid back down.
"Andito ka pa?" she asked.
"Clearly."
"Pilosopo," she snuggled into her blanket and smiled. "Buti naman. I like having you around."
I arched my brow. "You do?"
"Very much. Please don't leave," she begged in a whisper loud enough for me to hear. "Dito ka na lang."
She didn't even have to ask. I had no plans of leaving. Not with her so vulnerable and fragile like this. It's like the alcohol melted her strong facade away. She seemed one flick of the finger away from shattering into pieces.
This emotional drunk.
"Loki, can I ask you something?" she suddenly spoke, breaking my line of thought.
"Like?"
"Mahirap ba akong mahalin?"
I froze. I glanced down at Lorelei, only to be met with her looking at me with hope in her glistening eyes.
And then it registered, like some sort of code. Like a puzzle piece that suddenly clicked into place in this obscure corner of my brain.
Did she really think that she was so unlovable? Was that her concern all this time? Was that the reason why she looked so... pained?
What a paradox.
I’ve always abhorred paradoxes; they conflicted with the philosophy that I could unravel every conundrum if I tried hard enough. In the world I’ve built for myself, everything made perfect sense — and it all just came tumbling down.
Because this? Incomprehensible.
If anyone was unworthy of such affection in this room, it would have to be me.
“I’m sorry.” She said under her breath. “I don’t know why I asked that. You can ignore it if you wa—”
“I won’t.”
My fingers hovered over her face. I wiped the glittering tears yet to fall from her eyes with my thumb.
“Your answer?" she urged me to reply in a soft voice.
She didn't even have to say that because the answer... I already knew the answer.
I didn't even have to think twice.
"No." I gently shook my head. "It's very easy to love you."
She giggled and closed her eyes again. "Thank you for lying," she whispered in gratitude for something I didn't do.
(ending theme: WHERE IS MY HUSBAND! - RAYE & Dito Sa’kin - Earl Agustin)