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There was once a time where I truly felt happy. But it's gone. Everything was going too well to for me. No, for us.
But the thing is, I can't live without him. I need him more than I need food or water. He is my everything.
How can I let you go like that?
____//____//____
"Hey babe, I came...again." He was staring at the person he loved most.
"I see, Hyuk-ah..." He smiled. "Do you miss me that much? What did you bought this time? You always know what I want!"
"Yeah, I bought your favorite flowers. Lilies...The white ones. I know you like them."
But the moment he tried giving them to the man he loved, he said:
"Honey, I can't pick it up, you know that." He softly giggled as it was nothing. "Please, put it on the the vase you bought for me, will you?"
Then, Yoo Joonghyuk put them on the brown vase next to Dokja.
"Good job, Hyuk-ah!" That smile...was the most pure he had ever seen.
And people might think: 'Fine, you miss him, but try someone new!', but how could he? That's the person he fell in love with, the one that made him happy, that made him laugh, that was there when he needed.
He was the one, not someone else.
"Dokja, I miss you"
"I know, silly. I want to give you a hug so bad it drives me crazy. Anyway, how are they?"
"Everyone miss you. Shin Yoosoung and Lee Gilyoung are still sad and cry every night. Han Sooyoung is writing less than usual and the other ones can't even say your name without crying again and again."
"That hurt my fellings, you know?" His voice was sweet. The same when he tried conforting someone.
"When will you come back?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, almost crying.
"Darling, you know that is impossible"
And somehow, he started crying. It hurt more than a shot in the lungs, but he'd prefer die then live like this. Without him.
"Please, who do I have to speak to? Can't I change our fate?" His voice was choked with emotion and he was sobbing.
"Yoo Joonghyuk...I love you, but don't you think this is the end?"
"No, please, it can't be, please...please..." He fell to his knees in front of Kim Dokja, crying like a lost child. "Why it had to be you? Why not me?"
"Hey, don't do this...Get up, please, I can't see you like that. And mostly..."
"You can't change what already happened."
"I know...And I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I should have tried harder...Forgive me, Dokja."
"Why do you keep talking to me like I was alive?"
Alive. Yeah, it wasn't that simple...And yet, he was there, petting his head.
"I am your conscience, Hyuk-ah. Nothing we say here is real. I am dead, and you know it."
Yoo Joonghyuk looked up. "I know...But I can't just forget you."
Kim Dokja was staring at him, swinging his legs, he sat on that rock inscribed with his name. His tomb.
"Don't forget me, and even if you do, I'll always guard your sleep. For eternity."
"Wait for me, will you? I promise I won't keep you waiting for so long up there, okay?"
And when he least expected it, that cold breeze hit his tear-stained face and the rain came. But he was the only one there, no one else. In the corner of the wind and the falling raindrops, some warm from tears and others cold from the storm, he could hear him.
The love of his life.
"I love you, and there's nothing you can do that will make me love you more or less, my dear regressor."